CHAPTER 34
On Saturday morning, I’m so excited I can barely sit still on the bus. I feel sure that this is going to be the day that Lloyd Layton realises I’m the girl for him.
I don’t even have any zits this morning. It’s clearly a sign.
When I get off the bus and make my way down to McDonalds, I am pleasantly surprised to find Lloyd already waiting for me.
I didn’t want to not trust him, but I did have my doubts about whether he’d turn up or not. I don’t think he could blame me for that.
But there he is in all his wrapped up winter glory.
God, he looks gorgeous.
He has a deep blue cosy looking fleece on, which not only really suits him, but gives me a lovely fantasy of saying I’m cold and snuggling up inside it with him. His brown hair is covered by a ski hat, and he’s wearing a matching scarf and gloves.
Just seeing him makes me wish I’d dressed a bit warmer too. I opted for only a hoodie because my winter jacket makes me look fat.
It’s colder than I anticipated though.
At least you can’t see my nipples through this top.
“Good morning,” Lloyd says warmly as he sees me approaching.
“Hi.” I grin. I can’t help it. Lloyd Layton seems pleased to see me.
“Do you want anything?” he asks, indicating the McDonalds behind us. “Coffee? Doughnut?”
“No, I’m good, thanks,” I say, envisioning spilling coffee down my top or something equally embarrassing. It’s safer to stay away from food substances in general.
“Shall we go then? It’s freezing out here. The sooner we get back to my house, the better.”
Now that I can’t agree more with. Not the freezing part, although it is, but the part about getting back to Lloyd’s house. Who wants to hang out at some fossilised old church when you finally have the chance to go back to Lloyd Layton’s house?
Not that I intend to poke around his bedroom, but it would be nice to find his secret collection of romantic comedies and realise that we do have something in common after all.
The church is about a ten-minute trek up a few scenic looking hills. Very steep hills. I knew I should have tried to get fit. Oh well, maybe when Lloyd and I are a couple we can go to the gym together and stuff like that. Maybe he’d even be my own personal trainer. But then again, do I really want to get all hot and sweaty in front of Lloyd? I look extra unattractive when I’m out of breath.
“This is it,” Lloyd says eventually.
I wish I’d thought to bring a bottle of water with me.
We’re halfway up a hill, surrounded by a lot of dead-looking grass and a pile of old stones. It takes me a moment to realise that the stones are the church we’re meant to be studying.
Who in their right mind would want to do a school project on this? Mrs Reid is insane.
“This is, um, nice,” I say to Lloyd.
Honestly, I’m not really sure what to say to Lloyd. I know I always get tongue-tied around the boy, but this is not just about being nervous. We have absolutely nothing in common. Debs and I can talk for hours about movies we’ve seen, hot celebrities, new CDs, YouTube videos, and anything else under the sun. I figure that if I ever hope to have a relationship with Lloyd, surely I should also have some kind of friendship with him, but trying to talk about movies, music, hobbies or anything else is fruitless, because he likes action movies with lots of blood, heavy metal music, sports, and cars. No matter how hard I try, still the only thing we have in common is the fact that our first name begins with the same letter as our second name. Try making a conversation out of that.
We walked up here in what I convinced myself was companionable silence, but was really more like an awkward silence that involved Lloyd looking around uncomfortably and me panting for breath.
I suppose I should get some new interests. I’ll pop into WHSmith on my way home and pick up some car magazines. It can’t hurt to try, right? I know Debs would say I’m trying to be something that I’m not, but she’s wrong. Isn’t it essential to take an interest in things that are important to your partner?
I jump out of my thoughts when Lloyd puts his hand gently on my arm.
“You know, Chessie,” he says. “I’ve been wanting to get you on your own for a really long time now.”
“You have?” I ask.
This is it. He’s going to ask me out. When I go into school on Monday, I will be Lloyd Layton’s girlfriend.
“I really liked it that day in technology when you felt my package.”
He runs his fingers lightly up and down my arm.
Okay. Well, that wasn’t what I expected. “I didn’t mean to,” I mumble. “I just fell.”
“No, it’s okay. I liked it. I’ve never known anybody more into me than you.”
I guess I can’t really deny that I have been very in to Lloyd Layton.
“So, how about it? Want to come back to my place and have a proper feel?”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Oh come on, Chessie. I know you want to have sex with me. We can do it here if you prefer.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“Why would I be kidding you? It’s not every day you get an offer like this from a guy like me.”
I stare at him for a moment. “Are you seriously that egotistical?”
Lloyd shrugs.
“How could I not have noticed that before?”
His grip on my arm suddenly tightens. “Chessie, you’ve been trying to get into my pants for a year now. I’ve never known anybody so desperate. So here we are. You get one chance. I don’t suggest you turn it down.”
I try to yank my arm away from him but his grip is too tight. “I never wanted to get into your pants. I just wanted you to like me.”
“Oh, I like you, Chessie. But I’ve had much prettier, much older girls than you, and they don’t turn me down.”
“Turn you down is an understatement,” I shout at him. “I don’t want to have sex with you.”
“Then what the hell has this past year been about? You’ve been leading me on for months.”
“Leading you on?” I splutter. “Leading you on? I never led you anywhere. I never, ever said I wanted to sleep with you.”
“Then what did you want?”
“I just wanted us to be friends. I mistakenly thought that we might get along.”
“No offence, but you’re hardly my type, are you?”
I stare at him for a moment. “You are such a jerk. How could I have been so stupid?”
“You got what you wanted, Chessie. I’m giving you the time of day. That’s more than you’ll get from most boys in our school.”
“You’re not worth my time of day,” I yell at him. “You knew I liked you and you took advantage of it. You tried to get me up here alone so I’d have sex with you. You’re disgusting.”
“You wanted me, remember? Not the other way around.”
“I don’t want this,” I say.
“Oh, I get it.” He nods like I’ve just let him in on some big secret. “You’re one of those stuck up tarts who’ll never be satisfied. You’ll never get any guy if you have such high standards.”
“Apparently my standards weren’t high enough.”
“You shouldn’t walk away from me, Chessie. You’ll be a virgin until you’re forty.”
“I would rather become a nun than sleep with an arrogant prick like you,” I tell him. “Let me go.”
His grip around my arm gets impossibly tighter. I know I’ll have bruises there tomorrow.
“Stop being a cocktease, little girl.” He spits in my face and his other hand goes to my boob.
I panic.
“Don’t pretend you haven’t been trying to get me to touch them for months.”
“I haven’t,” I shout at him. “Not like this. I didn’t want this.”
He laughs.
I do the only thing I can think of. I knee him in the crotch.
It works. He cries out and
lets go of my arm.
I kick him again for good measure but his hands are covering his crotch so I miss and get his thigh instead.
Then I run away. I run as fast as I can down the hill we just walked up.
For a moment, I expect Lloyd to follow me, but he doesn’t. I hear him yell, “You fucking bitch,” in my direction but I don’t turn around.
I don’t stop shaking until the bus is halfway home. It’s only then that I start to think. What do I do? Should I go to the police? Should I pretend it never happened?
I admit there have been times when I’ve noticed that Lloyd wasn’t as perfect as I’d hoped he’d be, but I didn’t see that one coming.
He is such a jerk.
How did I not see that before?
I decide to play down what happened. Debs phones me that afternoon to hear all the gossip of my morning with Lloyd. I tell her that it was a bit rubbish and that we have nothing in common. I tell her I’m not into him anymore. She knows there’s more to it but she also knows when I don’t want to talk about something.
I’m embarrassed. I’m embarrassed that I didn’t see what a jerk he was before. Embarrassed that I nearly let things go too far. Maybe he was right. Maybe I did throw myself at him. Maybe I did lead him on. All I wanted was for him to like me, to look at me and see a girl he might like. I certainly didn’t want to have a one night stand with him. How dare he demean me for having high standards when his sole objective was to get me in the sack? At least I wanted more from him than sex.
I can’t believe I wasted my entire year on him. I can’t believe I was so stupid that I let my schoolwork suffer, I let my friendships come second to chasing Lloyd Layton, and I really messed my hair up.
I have to make amends next year.
CHAPTER 35
It’s the last day of winter term. The last double technology before the Christmas holidays. Mr Vale is letting us watch a DVD in class again.
It’s The Princess Bride.
It seems right that we’ve come full circle in exactly one year. But this time, I will be going home and trying to forget Lloyd Layton exists, not hoping that he doesn’t forget me, like I was last year.
How can I have been so stupid?
Debs, Ewan, and I pull our chairs around the TV and wait while Mr Vale fumbles with the DVD player. For a technology teacher, he is really bad with modern technology.
I see Lloyd on the other side of the room. He’s deep in conversation with Darren. Probably talking cars again. Or which girl to take advantage of next. I’m just lucky that I realised what an asshole Lloyd is.
“Hey, leeches,” Leigh says to us, pulling her chair up beside Ewan.
I groan inwardly.
“Did she just call us leeches?” Debs whispers to me.
“Could you two go away?” Leigh asks.
“No chance.” I smile at her.
If I can stand up to Lloyd Layton, I can stand up to a little cow like Leigh Marlow.
“Fine,” she snorts, turning her attention to Ewan. She slips her arm through his and leans her head on his shoulder. “Ewaaaan, I need to ask you something.”
Ewan looks most unimpressed. I wonder why he doesn’t just tell her to sod off.
“Ewaaaan,” she says again in one of the most annoying voices I’ve ever heard. “As it’s Christmas, and nobody wants to be alone at Christmas, will you go out with me?”
“Ha!” Ewan laughs before he can stop himself.
My whole year just got so much better.
“Leigh,” Ewan says, disentangling himself from her. “I would never in a million years go out with someone who treats my two best friends the way you do.”
“But they’re horrible,” Leigh whines.
Ewan then does something quite out of character for him, because he’s usually too polite for his own good.
“Leave me alone, Leigh.” He gets up, swings his chair around and sits back down, turning his back on her.
“Humph.” Leigh snorts like a trapped pig, before stomping back to her own gang.
“I can’t believe you just did that,” I say to Ewan.
“It’s not Leigh I like,” Ewan says. He looks directly at Debs as he says it.
I knew it!
She smiles back at him so wide I think her face might split.
He knows she likes him too.
“What do you say, Debs?” he asks her. “There’s a new doughnut shop opening tomorrow in town, fancy catching a movie and giving them a try?”
“I’d love to.”
I can tell she wants to kiss him, but we’re in the middle of class surrounded by thirty other kids and Mr Vale. It’s probably not a good idea here.
“So, what d’ya think, Chess? You wouldn’t mind your two best friends giving it a go, would you?” Ewan asks.
I smile almost as wide as Debs.
“I’d be insulted if you didn’t,” I tell them.
It’s not exactly the way I pictured this term ending, but I’m so happy for them.
“And you,” Ewan turns to me again. “You’re amazing. Don’t you ever let a prat like Lloyd Layton convince you otherwise. You’re gorgeous, and one day you’ll find someone who deserves you and likes you just for being you.”
I’m caught between blushing and crying. It ends up a mixture of both. “Thank you.”
I’m so pleased for them. They truly deserve each other, and I couldn’t be happier for them, even when they walk to the buses that afternoon hand in hand and with a soppy smile on both their faces.
As for me, I’m turning my back on boys for a while. There are so much more important things in life, like friends, and fun, and make-up, shopping, clothes and even (occasionally) schoolwork.
You don’t need a boyfriend to complete you, and you certainly don’t need one to make you popular, prettier, or smarter. As long as you’re being yourself, then you’re perfect. I get that now. I thought that if I could get Lloyd Layton to like me then I’d suddenly become pretty and popular, but I’ve started to realise that pretty and popular don’t matter. I don’t want to be popular because a boy likes me, I want to be myself, and if other people like me or if they don’t, at least I will like myself.
I don’t need to rush these boy things. I have plenty of time for a boyfriend whenever one happens to come along, and when he does, I won’t have to bend over backwards to get him to like me. If it’s meant to be then he’ll like me anyway, even if I have green hair or walk into a lamppost.
Besides, there’s always next year.
.xxx. THE END .xxx.
Also by Jaimie Admans:
Afterlife Academy
Even being dead isn’t enough to get you out of maths class.
Dying wasn't on sixteen-year-old Riley Richardson's to-do list. And now, not only is she dead, but she's stuck in a perpetual high school nightmare. Worse still, she's stuck there with the geekiest, most annoying boy in the history of the world, ever.
In a school where the geeks are popular and just about everything is wrong, Riley has become an outcast. She begins a desperate quest to get back home, but her once-perfect life starts to unravel into something not nearly as great as she thought it was. And maybe death isn’t really that bad after all...
Welcome to Afterlife Academy, where horns are the norm, the microwave is more intelligent than the teachers, and the pumpkins have a taste for blood.
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Afterlife Academy is a Young Adult paranormal romantic comedy, suitable for approximately ages 14 and up.
Find it now on: Amazon.com || Amazon.co.uk
Kismetology
Finding the perfect man isn't easy. Especially when it's for your mother...
Mothers. Can't live with them, can't live without them, can't live three doors down the road without them interfering in every aspect of your life.
Mackenzie Atkinson's mother has meddled in her love life once too often and something has to be done. Mackenzie decides to turn the tables and find love for her lonely mother.
<
br /> Her lonely and very fussy mother.
Surely finding an older gentleman looking for love won't be that hard, right?
Wrong.
If you've ever thought that boys grow up, here's the problem: They don't. Ever.
And Mackenzie is about to learn that the hard way.
Faced with a useless boyfriend, dressed up dogs, men who wear welly boots on dates, men who shouldn't be allowed out in public, and men who make reptiles seem like attractive company - will she ever find the perfect man for her neurotic mother?
Find it now on: Amazon.com || Amazon.co.uk
Creepy Christmas
Strange things are occurring in the neighbourhood. A mysterious snowfall, one Santa too many, and eyes of coal that watch you wherever you go.
Ten-year-old Kaity is busy trying to get rid of her mum's creepy new boyfriend and reunite her divorced parents, but her curiosity gets the better of her when she meets the new mall Santa and his enchanting daughter Blizzard. Can Kaity help them save Christmas from being destroyed by Anti-Claus - a pretend Santa who is a permanent member of the naughty list?
It's Christmas in the village of Chelferry, but this year the snowmen can move, the fairy won't stay on top of the Christmas tree, and if you listen closely to the musical Christmas cards, you can hear the faint sound of screaming over the Jingle Bells...
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Creepy Christmas is a 50,000 word (approx 200 pages) novel suitable for ages 8 and upwards.
A fun, festive, family read!
Find it now on: Amazon.com || Amazon.co.uk
About the author:
Jaimie is a 28-year-old English-sounding Welsh girl with an awkward-to-spell name. She lives in South Wales and enjoys writing, gardening, drinking tea and watching horror movies. She hates spiders and cheese & onion crisps.
Not Pretty Enough Page 17