by Tasha Blue
“I’ll think about it,” Owen promised James.
“I just don’t want to see you miss your chance with someone who’s actually interested in you, Owen,” James said sincerely. “You deserve a nice girl.”
The two men finished saying their goodbyes, James left and Owen returned to running on the treadmill. Today was Anaya’s birthday and Owen had wanted to take her out. He’d been disappointed when she said that she had plans with Jakob. It had made him roll his eyes and scoff. He was sure that she’d be calling him later to tell him that Jakob had screwed up in some way or another. It had been the same for years. Jakob would stand her up or hurt her feelings or make her feel invisible and it was Owen’s job to comfort her. It was a difficult task to make Anaya feel better without ever letting her know that he was sure he was the better choice for her. It was hard to hold his tongue when he was comforting her again and all he wanted to do was ask her why on earth she would pine over a jerk like Jakob when she had someone who thought the world of her sitting right there.
Owen didn’t want to be another one of those “nice guy” clichés who was constantly complaining that girls never noticed him because he was too kind or sweet or sensitive. Owen knew that he had missed his chance with Anaya through nothing but his own cowardice. At any time in their twenty plus years of friendship he could have laid it all out on the line, told her how he felt and perhaps something could have happened, but Owen had always been too afraid that Anaya would not feel the same and it would change the nature of their friendship. He had waited too long and it was his silence that had allowed Anaya to fall in love with another man. Now Owen was sure that it would never matter what he said or did, because Anaya already belonged to someone else.
It filled him with regret every time he thought about it because he knew that Anaya was incredible. She was kind and sweet and determined and beautiful in that understated, unaware kind of way that made her unforgettable. She had that light in her that made you feel better as soon as you saw her. She was always smiling and laughing and was the only person in the world with whom Owen felt truly at ease.
Owen had seen Anaya at her highest and at her lowest and had loved her at every step. They had been through all those landmarks of adolescence together and that had created a bond between them that Owen couldn’t shake off or ignore. He hated to see her stuck in her current relationship with Jakob. Owen thought that the physicist was a bully and that eventually, he would destroy the relentless optimism and cheerfulness in Anaya that made her light up any room. Even if Anaya never wanted to be with him, Owen wished that she would find someone better for her than that egoist.
Yet, even though Owen longed for Anaya every time he heard her voice or caught a glimpse of those beautiful eyes, he was happy with his life. He was very good at what he did. Not only did he have an incredible knowledge of animal anatomy and skilled hands when it came to the operation table, he was also a kind and personable man whose clients, and their pets, adored him.
He’d wanted to be a dentist until the day his father brought home a golden Labrador puppy from the litter of his brother’s dog. From the second he’d cuddled that golden ball of energy and affection, Owen had fallen in love with animals. From the age of eight, his interest in all creatures of sky, earth, and air had grown and grown. He’d begun by nursing back to health all the birds in town that had fallen from their nests or hurt a wing and then had started bringing home all manner of other strays that had cut a foot or lost a fight with another animal and had driven his mother half-crazy with his dedication to all the creatures of the town.
Studying to be a vet had been a long and challenging process, but Owen had loved every moment of it and had felt it was all worth it the day that he opened his own practice back in his hometown. It had felt good to return with his degree and new skills and to be able to find his place in the world.
He knew that Anaya didn’t feel the same about her life and he often wondered if that was the reason she stayed with Jakob even though he was no good for her. Owen knew that Anaya was an incredibly talented young woman. He’d always loved to see her dressed in her own designs and standing out from the crowd. The bright, vibrant colors that she always chose were so reflective of her personality, which was so cheerful and warm. Owen liked the way that he could always pick Anaya out from the crowd because she’d be the one wearing bright red or yellow. Jakob didn’t appreciate the way that Anaya stood out the way that Owen did.
The veterinarian was very protective of Anaya and his best friend had always loved that about him. Anaya had often told Owen that he was like the big brother she’d never had and her words always made Owen cringe, because he certainly didn’t think of her as a sister. The fact that she thought of him in such a platonic way was perhaps the greatest reason that Owen had never attempted to ask her on a date or to take things further. The thought of him inviting her for a romantic dinner and her turning him down would make his stomach drop every time. Nothing would ever embarrass him more than being rejected by Anaya, so he kept his distance and watched from afar as she made the same mistakes with Jakob over and over again.
Owen sighed and turned the treadmill down to a slow walk to loosen his muscles a little before stepping off. He looked across the gym as he was toweling off and spotted Lisa looking at him from across the gym. She smiled shyly when she realized that Owen had caught her looking, blushed, and turned away.
Lisa was an attractive girl. She was slim, blonde, and had a nice smile, but Owen didn’t feel the same fluttering in his stomach when he looked at her as he did when he looked at Anaya. He knew that he was sabotaging any chance he had of a real relationship with another woman by always comparing them to his childhood best friend. He reasoned that the reason he felt that way about Anaya was simply because he had known her for so long. Perhaps if he gave another woman the same chance to get close to him he’d find that even Lisa could give him butterflies.
Today was not the day to find out. Instead of approaching Lisa and asking her out, as he knew she was dying for him to do, Owen simply flashed her a warm smile and left the workout room. He didn’t like being single, but the thought of dating made his stomach twist in awkward, anxious knots. He’d never been a natural flirt and didn’t know how to charm a woman. He liked to think that he was friendly and fun, but when it came to dating, so much depended on first impressions and Owen always got tongue-tied when talking to pretty girls.
He showered, got dressed, and left the gym. He’d just sat down in his car when his phone started buzzing on the seat and he rolled his eyes, knowing who would be on the other end of the line and why. He picked it up and answered.
“Happy birthday, Anaya.”
“Is it?” Anaya sighed down the phone.
“Did Jakob not show up?” Owen guessed.
“No,” Anna said flatly. “Are you going to tell me you told me so?”
“No,” Owen replied. “I’m sorry that he ruined your birthday.”
“I don’t know why he does it,” Anaya lamented. “You know, it was him who offered to take me out. I didn’t ask. If he didn’t want to be there, he never should have made the offer. It’s just so disappointing every time I get myself excited for a little bit of romance and he flakes out on me.”
“I hope you gave him a piece of your mind,” Owen said, trying to keep the tone of disgust from being too obvious in his voice.
“I did,” Anaya assured him. “He came over just after I’d given up and gone home and he tried to make it seem like it was my fault for waiting for him. Apparently, when he didn’t show up, he thought I should have had the common sense to know that he wasn’t coming. He told me that there were more important things than birthday cake and balloons. You know the way he is.”
“I do and so do you,” Owen said patiently. “You should have come out with me.”
“I wish I had,” Anaya said wistfully. “I’m sorry I didn’t go out with you tonight. It was so sweet of you to offer. You wouldn’t have stood me
up.”
“It’s not too late,” Owen told her. “I’ve just finished at the gym. I was going to head home, but I could pick up some wine and a movie and head over if you like?”
“I can’t ask you to do that,” Anaya said. “I should have accepted your offer in the first place.”
“It’s fine, Anaya,” Owen assured her. “I don’t have any other plans. I kind of expected that he’d screw up somehow and what kind of a friend would I be if I wasn’t there to pick up the pieces?”
Anaya let out a long breath and Owen could hear her gratitude down the phone line.
“Is that a yes?” he asked her with a growing smile.
“Only if you really didn’t have plans,” Anaya replied. “I can’t expect you to drop everything every time that my date drops out.”
“I don’t mind,” Owen assured her. “I have a gift for you anyway. I was going to drop it by tomorrow, but now I can bring it to you tonight.”
“A gift?” Anaya repeated, her voice perking up. “What is it?”
Owen laughed that the promise of a gift had cheered her up. “It’s a surprise,” he told her. “Look, I’m sitting in my car right now in the gym parking lot. I’ll let you go and I can be there in ten.”
“Thanks, Owen.”
The vet hung up and smiled to himself. He had predicted that Anaya would be calling him and didn’t need to stop off anywhere. He already had wine, a movie and her gift in the trunk of the car just in case. He turned the key in the ignition, pulled out of the lot and headed towards Anaya’s place.
It was a bit sad, he knew, to schedule his life around Anaya’s schedule. Any other man would have had his own plans for a Friday night, but Owen had been prepared to be her second choice. He supposed that’s what love did to a person. Anaya would always be Jakob’s second choice because she loved him and Owen would forever be Anaya’s second choice if he chose to love her. Owen had to keep reminding himself that he wasn’t in love with Anaya. At most he had a crush and that was natural, wasn’t it? After all, what man wouldn’t feel a little enamored with a beautiful woman that he spent a lot of time with?
In his fantasies, Jakob was out of the picture, Owen declared his love, and he and Anaya lived happily ever after somewhere by the sea. He had to laugh at himself when he thought about it. Even if Anaya and Jakob managed to break up and mean it, he’d still never declare his love. He doubted that Anaya felt that way about him. After all, if it hadn’t happened by now, then surely it never could. All of those times that she had come crying to him and they’d been alone and shared their secrets, well, if there was a spark between them, you’d have expected it to have ignited by now. Instead, Owen had quietly wished for her throughout his adolescence. He considered setting a deadline for getting over Anaya. If they didn’t become a couple before Anaya and Jakob inevitably got back together, then perhaps it was time that Owen asked Lisa out and attempted to have someone in his own life.
Lisa was nice, after all. She was a bit air-headed, but nice. She was one of those girls who seemed to bounce everywhere rather than walk and she had this habit of giggling uncontrollably at things that really weren’t funny. It was a little irritating, but Owen supposed it was the sort of thing that you could get used to. He’d had some pleasant conversations with Lisa here and there. She was learning to be a personal trainer and so was constantly at the gym. Sometimes she’d use her training as an excuse to come over and talk to Owen to give him tips as he exercised. That was kind of sweet, he supposed. He had to be grateful for a girl who would put herself out there to make her intentions obvious, at least, because Owen wasn’t good at making the first move and having a girl encouraging him to ask was helpful. He’d have to make his decision soon on whether or not to ask Lisa out, because it was unlikely that she’d be free forever.
Owen wished it were easier to figure out his love life. He knew that pining over Anaya was doing him no good, and yet he couldn’t break away from her. As long as they were friends, he was still seeing that beautiful smile, hearing her laugh, and sharing her company, there was just no way that Owen could get over her. When he spent the time trying to really analyze his feelings for her, he just felt confused. He was sure that the depth of his feelings for her was just a reflection of the sheer amount of time that they had spent together. He tried to tell himself that if he ever actually dated Anaya it would feel strange because they’d known each other too long. He tried to convince himself that just being Anaya’s friend was enough for him and all they were destined to be.
He knew that she’d love the gift he’d bought for her this year. It was a vintage book of patterns from a famous forties fashion designer that Anaya had always emulated. Anaya had been trying to get hold of some of the patterns for years, but the copies of the books were in short supply and they were rare. Owen had been scouring the internet daily for months in the hopes of finding a copy for her and had been ecstatic when at last one of his searches turned up a copy just a two hour drive from their town. He’d snatched it up and made the journey to get it for her and had done everything in his power to keep the fine pages from becoming torn or damaged until he could deliver it to Anaya. He knew that she would be thrilled with it.
Owen loved that Anaya was passionate about what she did. He was a person who worked for the love of his profession rather than glory also and so conversations with Anaya about work were always enjoyable. They were unashamed to share their dreams in front of each other and be idealistic. Owen remembered well all the nights they had spent cross-legged on the bed in the attic room where he had lived with his parents in his teenage years and he and Anaya had talked about the future. Anaya wanted to be a top fashion designer in New York and Owen wanted to have his own veterinary practice. Of course, Owen had accomplished his dream now, but Anaya was still working hard to get anywhere with her designs.
His best friend had been a big encouragement to him when he was young. Owen remembered with fondness the times they’d played parents to a sick bird or gathered leaves to feed a tupperware tub full of ladybugs. When Owen had deliberated about going to a college so far from home, Anaya had been the one to push him to accept the offer and travel out of state even though he knew she hated to see him leave. That was Anaya. She was always helping others to achieve their goals in life and she loved to support others in their victories. It just seemed a shame to Owen that nobody ever seemed to give her much support in achieving hers. He hoped that the book of patterns would go some way to showing her that somebody was around who still believed that she was destined for greatness.
The vet finally arrived at Anaya’s apartment complex and pulled up at the curb. He looked up at her window and could see that a light was on. He got out of the car and picked up his things from the back seat. He felt an eager anticipation to be in that apartment with Anaya and hoped that when she was done crying over Jakob that she would cheer up again and they would be able to enjoy each other’s company without sparing any thought for that man who always let her down.
Chapter4
Anaya opened the door to find her best friend waiting for her with the promised wine and DVD and she smiled warmly at him, pulling him in with a hug. He hugged her back with equal warmth and Anaya immediately felt some of her tension and upset easing away in the company of her best friend.
“Thanks for coming, Owen,” she said sincerely.
Her best friend was a handsome man with sandy blond hair and bright blue eyes. He’d had an incredibly boyish face until he was about twenty-three when suddenly his jaw had taken shape and he’d started to grow stubble; all at once her childhood friend had become a man. He worked out regularly and the effort showed. He had broad shoulders and a flat stomach and if Anaya hadn’t known him forever and had just met him on the street one day, perhaps she would have found him a very attractive man.
She accepted the wine from Owen and poured them both a glass before inviting him to sit with her on the sofa in her sitting room. She sat down beside him and immediately dr
ank half her glass of wine in a few large gulps. Owen laughed at her.
“Thirsty?” he teased.
“I just need to unwind,” she told him. “I was so excited for this evening and just can’t get over what a jerk Jakob was tonight. I don’t know why I keep taking him back.”
“I don’t know either,” Owen confessed. “You can do better than him.”
“Do you think?” Anaya said. “I mean, he’s handsome and intelligent and motivated. A lot of girls would say that he was a catch.”
“There’s more to a relationship than checking off a set of boxes, Anaya,” Owen told her wisely. “He might be great on paper, but if you don’t feel good when you’re around him, then it’s just not right.”
“I guess,” Anaya said uncertainly. “It’s just that we’ve been together for so long now. It’s normal for a honeymoon period to end, isn’t it? I mean, what if I ended things with Jakob and started something up with someone new just to find that a few years down the line I’m in exactly the same place because it had nothing to do with me and Jakob, but it’s just the way that relationships go?”
“I think that’s pretty depressing,” Owen chuckled. “I like to think that a good thing lasts when it’s with the right person. Besides, with you and Jakob, it’s not like a missing spark. He’s a jerk. You said so yourself.”
“Not all the time.”
“A lot of the time,” Owen said with a kind smile.
“But when he’s sweet, he’s really sweet,” Anaya said.
“Why don’t you find a guy who’s sweet all the time?” Owen suggested. “They’re out there, you know. You don’t have to be with Dr. Vanity.”
“Dr. Vanity?” Anaya giggled. “Is that your nickname for him now?”