by Paige Toon
‘Oh right.’ His eyebrows go up. ‘No last Tube home dilemmas for you.’
‘Where do you live?’
He looks momentarily fed up. ‘I did live in Shoreditch, but I’m staying with my parents right now in Crouch End.’
I don’t know where either place is.
‘East London and North London,’ he explains, seeing my look of confusion.
‘Were you living with your girlfriend?’ I ask, as understanding dawns on me.
‘Yep,’ he replies curtly.
I’m not sure he wants to talk about it, but I’m intrigued.
‘Why did you split up?’ I ask.
‘Why did you and your boyfriend split up?’ he bats back.
Fine, if he wants to play it that way. ‘He moved to Western Australia for a job. He’s a maintenance technician for a large mining company. The long-distance relationship wasn’t doing it for us.’
‘Didn’t you think about moving there with him?’ he asks.
‘No. I have a good job in Sydney.’
‘Sounds like it wasn’t meant to be.’
‘You’re right. If it were, we would have made it work. But we were only together for a year.’
‘Try eight,’ he says drily.
‘Eight? Is that how long you were with your girlfriend?’
‘Yeah. We met in our last year at uni.’
‘How old are you?’
‘Just turned thirty. You?’
‘Twenty-eight.’
He pushes his hand through his hair and rests his elbow back on the shelf. He has long, dark eyelashes. I wonder what his eyes look like in the daylight.
‘So why did you split up?’ I ask. ‘You owe me,’ I point out with a smile.
He shrugs. ‘Just one of those things.’
‘Not fair,’ I complain at his lack of elaboration.
‘We’d been growing apart for a while,’ he confides at last. ‘I think she might be into someone at work.’
‘Did she cheat on you?’ I ask with a frown.
‘I don’t think so,’ he replies. ‘But I think she wanted to. She can do what she likes, now.’ His jaw clenches and he takes a swig of his beer. ‘Although we’re supposed to just be on a break,’ he says darkly.
‘What does being “on a break” even mean? I ask with irritation. ‘Does it mean you’ve split up or not?’
He rolls his eyes. ‘I hate that term, too. The truth is, she just wants to see what else is out there while I sit around waiting for her. Then she’ll think about settling down.’ He takes another angry swig of his beer.
‘So don’t sit around waiting,’ I say. ‘Do the same.’
My pulse races as he locks me in a direct stare.
I jolt at the sound of someone shouting his name, and turn in time to see Nigel coming our way with drunken purpose. ‘We thought you’d gone home!’ he exclaims. I look past him to see Brian dancing with Kelly and Maria? The other two stags appear to have left.
‘Come and dance with us!’ Maria shouts, excitedly beckoning me over.
Her dark hair looks remarkably glossy and unsweaty as it fans her pretty olive-skinned features. She’s a professional hair and make-up artist and is doing Polly’s make-up for the wedding, so I bet she knows all the tips.
‘Come on!’ Nigel urges, grabbing my arm with his hot, clammy paw and dragging me over to them.
Alex has no choice but to follow.
‘Drunk enough yet?’ I ask him with a grin as we reach the others.
Turns out we must both be drunk enough, because as ‘Red, Red Wine’ starts to belt out of the speakers, we both start to dance. I turn to face him, holding my drink aloft and singing along because it’s hard not to. He grins down at me. It’s a sexy, chilled-out song and my heart jumps when he puts his hand on my hip. I instinctively move closer to him. I’m eye-level with his lips and they’re perfect, not too thin, not too full. I bet he’s a great kisser.
‘When are you going back home?’ he shouts into my ear.
‘Just under two weeks.’
He pulls back as his eyes widen. ‘Long way to come for such a short time.’
‘Work wouldn’t give me any more time off. My new boss is a bit of a ball-breaker.’
‘What?’ He frowns and cups my head, pulling me closer so he can hear me over the music.
I feel the heat of his body seep into mine. The hairs on my arms are standing up. ‘I’m going to Italy after the wedding.’
‘By yourself?’
‘Yeah. Rome, Florence, Venice, if I have time.’
His hand moves back to my hip as we continue to dance. ‘Red, Red Wine’ ends and annoyingly, Yazz’s ‘The Only Way Is Up’ kicks off. There goes our sexy dancing.
‘You want another drink?’ I ask him.
Maria winks one dark eye at me as we pass. ‘You want anything?’ I check with her and Kelly.
‘No, thanks. Think we’ll head off in a bit.’ She jabs her thumb at Alex’s departing back. ‘He’s a bit of alright.’
‘Tell me about it,’ I squeak in her ear.
At the bar, I chink my glass against his and take a sip, coyly looking up at him. He’s standing quite close to me, my heels nestling between his Converse trainers. My stomach is suddenly aflutter with butterflies.
‘See you later, Bronte!’ Maria interrupts. Alex steps back as she and Kelly move in to give me a hug.
‘Are you going to Grant’s parents’ house on Friday?’ I ask Maria.
‘Late afternoon,’ she replies. ‘Oh, I meant to ask, do you want me to do your hair and make-up for the wedding?’
She’s making over the bridal party, but I didn’t realise that included me.
‘Really? Are you sure?’
‘Yes. Polly asked me to ask you.’
So she does care, even if she didn’t ask me to be a bridesmaid. ‘That would be great.’ I smile at her, before drily adding, ‘I bet I look like a right state at the moment.’
‘Nah, you look gorge.’ But seemingly unable to stop herself, she runs her thumbs underneath my eyes. ‘Now you’re perfect. See you Friday. Bye,’ she says brightly to Alex.
‘I thought I was in for such a crap night.’ Alex shakes his head with relief once she’s gone. ‘I’m glad I met you.’
‘I’m glad I met you, too,’ I tell him with a smile. He holds eye contact for a long moment.
‘What colour are your eyes?’ I ask curiously. It’s still too dark to tell.
‘Blue,’ he replies. ‘Yours?’
‘Green.’
He staggers towards me as Brian stumbles into him.
‘He’s just been sick on the dance floor,’ Brian gasps with some effort, trying to hold Nigel up.
I belatedly register the feeling of Alex’s hand on my stomach.
‘I’m going to take him home,’ Brian says.
‘Hang on a sec,’ Alex says to me. ‘I’ll just see them into a cab.’
I take the opportunity to duck into the bathroom. My makeup isn’t so bad. Maria must be a perfectionist. I touch up my lipstick and then return to the bar. Alex is nowhere to be seen. When he doesn’t reappear after a couple of minutes, I start to think that he might not coming back. What am I doing, anyway? How is this night going to end? I’ve never had a one-night stand before, and I’m not going to start now. At least, I don’t think I am. Am I? Should I just go?
I see a flash of blue Lycra out of the corner of my eye, and then Batman is in front of me, smiling his smarmy grin.
‘Hey, beautiful,’ he says, even drunker than before.
‘I’m not interested,’ I reply in a bored-sounding voice.
‘You don’t even know what I’m going to say, yet,’ he says, stroking my arm.
‘Don’t touch me!’ I cry, batting him away. I know where his fingers have been tonight. He laughs, unfazed, and then he’s stumbling backwards and Alex is between me and him, his hand on Batman’s chest.
‘Would you just fuck off?’ I hear him yell.
Batman
puts his hands up in assent and backs away. Alex turns around to face me and the look of fury on his gorgeous features takes my breath away. He takes two steps forward, hesitates only a second, but time seems to slow down, and then his fingers are tangled in my hair and his lips are on mine.
Jesus, he’s amazing. To think I might have walked away from this. Shivers rocket up and down my body as our kiss deepens. He pulls away. No, no, no, don’t stop. He’s still so close, his eyes staring down at me as his chest rises and falls rapidly against mine. I slide my hand around his waist and feel the warmth of his body through the thin fabric of his shirt as I tug him closer. Then he’s kissing me again and my world is spinning. He kisses so differently to Jason. Jason’s lips were fuller, his kisses wetter and not always entirely pleasant. But Alex... Alex I could kiss for hours.
Someone whistles and claps and we reluctantly break away from each other to see that the venue is flooded with light. The music has stopped, people are leaving and a couple of guys leer at us as they pass.
Alex looks mildly embarrassed as he takes a step backward. I sigh and give him a little smile. Club night is over. And to think we were the last survivors, considering how little we wanted to be here at the beginning.
We join the crowds leaving as we file up the stairs and spill out into the cool night air. He checks his watch.
‘How will you get home?’ I ask as he glances up the street.
‘It’s too late for the Tube,’ he replies. ‘Cab, if I can get one. But I’ll walk you back to your hotel first.’
‘It’s this way.’ I nod to our left and we set off. We round the corner to see two forlorn-looking figures up ahead, flagging down a taxi.
Batman and Robin.
‘All that effort and they still didn’t get lucky.’
Alex strides on, his shoulders hunched against the cold. I fold my arms in front of my chest and hurry after him. My heels are starting to hurt my feet again.
On impulse, I hook my arm through his. After a moment, he takes his hand out of his pocket and wraps his arm around me.
‘What are you doing tomorrow?’ he asks as I cosy into his chest.
‘Thought I’d do some sightseeing, maybe go to the Tower of London. I’ll meet Polly for lunch if she’s not too hungover. You?’
‘My mum’s doing a roast.’
‘Nice.’ I giggle. ‘Gotta be some benefits to living at home, eh? Does she do your washing, too?’
He laughs. ‘Yeah, she does, actually.’
‘Bonus.’ I grin up at him, but he’s staring ahead.
‘Is that it?’ he asks.
I look further up the road to see the hotel canopy, the large green potted plants on the pavement lit by a warm glow spilling out of the glass doors.
‘Yeah,’ I reply downheartedly.
We walk the rest of the way in silence, coming to a slow stop where the darkness meets the light. Alex and I turn to face each other. He stares down at me for a long moment and then I step towards him and slide my fingers through the curling hair at the nape of his neck. I tilt my face up and his lips come down to mine. I kiss him back more fervently, desperately wanting to make the most of every second. His hand moves to the small of my back and he brings me closer. A dart of desire shoots through me, and I gasp, breathless through lack of oxygen. He pulls back, his pupils dark and dilated.
‘Come inside with me,’ I whisper, my heart speaking the words before my brain has time catch up and, potentially, intervene.
He nods and then my hand is in his and we’re walking into the lobby together and he’s punching the button for the lift. I keep my eyes trained on the doors, not looking over my shoulder at the reception desk in case one of Polly’s colleagues recognises me and reports back to her tomorrow. The doors slide open and we step inside. I press the button for the third floor, and then we’re kissing again and I’m trapped deliciously between the lift wall and his hard body.
I fumble about in my purse for my key card as we walk down the corridor to my room. My heart is beating wildly with adrenalin, but doubts are creeping in.
The green light on the keypad lights up and the door clicks. I push it open and turn to face Alex. The room is dark and my willpower is hidden in the shadows. I don’t want to stop now. We kiss more slowly than before, my hands sliding under his shirt and across the soft skin encasing his hard muscles. He breathes in sharply as my fingers find their way to the waistband of his jeans, my thumbs brushing across the hairs that trail from his navel downwards.
I unbuckle his belt and his kisses become more frenzied. He finds the zip on the back of my dress and lowers it down. I slide it off my shoulders and thank my lucky stars that I wore nice underwear tonight. We dispose of the next few garments quickly and fall back on the bed in our underwear, our limbs tangling with each other’s as we kiss.
‘What the hell?’ Alex mutters, his hand rustling on something on the pillow.
‘Chocolates.’ I reach behind me and sweep what must be half a dozen of them to the floor.
‘You must be popular with the maids,’ he whispers as he unclasps my bra. Then his mouth finds one of my nipples and I’m speechless with desire. His lips return to my mouth and I wrap my legs around him, pulling him against me. Oh wow, he really wants me. The feeling is mutual. Suddenly he freezes.
‘What is it?’ I gasp. Please don’t stop now!
‘I haven’t got anything,’ he says in a low, deep voice. ‘I mean, I wasn’t expecting...’
Shit! Condoms. ‘No, me neither,’ I admit, wanting to kick myself. ‘I’ve never done this before.’
Our breathing is short and sharp.
‘I... I’m on the Pill,’ I say hesitantly. ‘I haven’t been with anyone since... I mean, I know I’m okay...’
‘Me too. No one since...’
Neither of us says our exes’ names out loud.
I tilt my head up and kiss him gently on his lips. He kisses me back, then pulls away.
‘Are you sure?’ he asks me quietly. ‘We don’t have to.’
‘I want to,’ I whisper. ‘Don’t you?’
I hear him smile, even though I can’t see much in this low light. ‘Yeah, of course.’
How can it possibly hurt to have one night of passion with a beautiful man?
I run my fingernails down his back and pull him into me, our mouths never breaking contact. The sensation is so intense it leaves me breathless.
I have no idea what time it is when I wake up. There’s a dull throbbing inside my head as I roll over and come face to face with Alex, fast asleep beside me. I stare at him for a long moment, the dark hairs of his eyelashes curving like adorable miniature fans. He looks very peaceful when he sleeps, five o’clock shadow gracing his jaw and black, sexed-up hair. His face is lit by sunlight pouring in through a crack in the curtains. I prop myself up on my elbow and watch the whizzing, circling, silvery flecks of dust caught in the bright shaft of light.
Alex murmurs and I glance down at him.
‘Wow, your eyes are really blue,’ I say with surprise, my voice coming out sounding huskier than usual.
He smiles dozily up at me. ‘What time is it?’ His voice is thick with sleep and alcohol abuse.
‘I don’t know. I think it’s late morning, judging by the sunlight.’ I turn my head back towards the curtains. ‘Look at the light shaft. The dust motes are like fairy dust. They’re magical.’
He frowns. ‘What are you going on about?’
‘Can’t you see them?’
‘No.’
‘Maybe you have to move out of the light to see how beautiful it is.’
‘You’re beautiful.’ He reaches up and tucks a wayward strand of hair behind my ears.
I grin down at him. ‘Aw, did you just deliver me a really corny line?’
He shrugs lazily. ‘Might’ve done.’ He cups my head and pulls me down for a kiss. I give him a quick peck, but resist taking it further.
‘Let me go and brush my teeth.’
I s
lip out of bed, feeling self-conscious about the fact that I am as naked as the day I was born.
‘Can you chuck me my phone from my back pocket?’ he asks, oblivious to my insecurities. ‘I’d better text my parents to let them know I’m alive.’
He watches me and I feel my face heat up as I dig around in his jeans pockets. I throw him his phone, he looks amused and then I duck into the bathroom and come face to face with my reflection in the mirror.
I look like a panda with a backcombing fetish. I untie my plait and run my hairbrush through my tangled mess of hair before cleaning away the make-up underneath my eyes. I brush my teeth, go to the loo and pull on the bathrobe hanging behind the door. Then I return to the bedroom.
Alex is sitting up in bed, staring down at the phone in his hands. He glances up at me and his expression makes me halt in my steps.
‘What is it?’ I ask uneasily.
He rakes his hand through his bed hair and looks down at the phone again. I see that the hand holding it is shaking slightly. He looks wrecked.
‘What’s wrong?’ I ask again.
‘Zara...’ His voice sounds croaky. ‘My... My girlfriend, ex-girlfriend...’
So that’s her name. ‘Yes?’ I nod quickly, impatient for him to spit it out.
‘She wants to meet me for lunch.’
‘Oh.’ I sit down on the bed and bounce slightly.
He rubs his hand across his mouth, but doesn’t look at me.
‘Do you still love her?’ I ask gently, swivelling to lie belly-down on the bed, facing him.
‘I think so, yeah,’ he says quietly. His eyes are shining when they meet mine. Nausea sweeps through me.
‘Are you going to go?’
He shakes his head, then pauses before shaking his head again. ‘I don’t know.’
‘What else does her text say?’
He hands me his phone and sighs deeply as I read it.
I think I made a mistake. I miss you. Will you meet me for lunch?
I take a shaky breath as I hand him his phone. ‘What do you think?’ he asks. ‘What do I think?’ I reply, taken aback.
‘Sorry, I don’t know why I just asked that.’ He rubs his face with his hands. ‘Fuck.’
A wave of pity rushes through me. ‘Well...’ I start.
He looks up hopefully, as though I might have some pearl of wisdom to dispense.