I feel myself shaking as I approach the door, looking back at Jake as he stands at the far end of the hall, nodding his head to urge me on.
I knock on the door oh, and it opens immediately for me, shutting with a clunk behind me as soon as I'm inside. The room is not well lit, only a small lamp turned on, but it is not needed considering there is an angel to brighten up the room. It's not like the sun or anything crazy like that, but there is a slight glow that seems to emit from him.
Part of me was almost hoping that I would find up close that he would have some kind of flaw, but he looks even more perfect this way, if that were possible. “Riley Graywood.” It is strange hearing my name come off of his lips. His voice is husky in a way that no human man can get theirs to sound it no matter how much they practice. “I'm sorry to pull you away roughly like this. I can't imagine what you were thinking, but I didn't get to be there the day that you had your hearing.“ Even though his head and his eyes don't move, I still feel like he is studying me. I'm a specimen underneath the microscope, and I'm a little bit afraid of what he can see.
“No, there were only three members of the Magistrate present that day. “
“Yes, I think you got very lucky.“
“I'm sorry, but did I do something wrong? I don't understand why you called me in here.“ I try not to show the tremble in my life as I talk.
“I wanted to know the daughter of the great Samuel Graywood. Surely even in your sheltered lifestyle in New Mexico you are aware and how important he is to our culture? You would have been there when he was honored at his funeral, for dying in service of the Magistrate, and yet it is not a path you chose to take yourself but had to be forced into it.“
I don't like the feeling that I am a bug that he is trying to squash with his words, and I hold my head up high, feeling a little bit angry. But I know better than to talk back to an angel, especially one on the Magistrate. I'll save for the day that I want to die. So, with my silence, he continues the verbal assault. “I want you to see how the Graywood name has been disgraced.“
I feel hot with embarrassment, but also a little bit of something else. When he says is insulting, and yet the way it rolls off his tongue, it is almost sensual. I don't know what he is doing or why. I didn't think that angels could use us like toys the same way that a demon could, but he is almost more cruel.
“I intend to make up for that grave mistake.“ It is the only thing I can think to say that does not directly disrespect him, but I cannot stay silent.
“And what mistake is that exactly? Because from where I'm sitting, I don't think we see eye-to-eye on this.“ I shake my head, my sweaty hands wiping against my silky dress.
I really don't understand what he wants me to say, but I'm thinking that he is trying to trip me up or get me to say something specific. So, I think it's best to say nothing. I let him study me for a little bit longer, the silence stretching out between us. There's a tension in the air that I can't even begin to describe, and finally, I look up at him once more. Those intense eyes of his are on me again, and there is a familiar feeling, the exact kind I don't ever want to be caught up in again because it got me in trouble the first time. If I thought I could, I would dismiss myself.
“I want you to think about what I said. About what your mistake is exactly. Did it happen at the party, or did it happen before that? Whenever you have your answer, your headmaster and your professors know how to get ahold of me. I daresay, but even your date knows how to get ahold of me. You are dismissed.“ He says the last word so coldly, I feel like I need to run from the room, and I almost do. I pick up my skirt and walk as quickly as I can back to Jake, not able to say a word to explain what just happened in there.
Chapter 10
I stand on the lawn, waiting to hear my name called to tell me that my family is here to pick me up for the Yule break. For three weeks, we will be allowed to be at home. No school work, no drama, no classrooms, no teachers, and yet, the idea suddenly feels so lonely.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to ask my uncle if you can come home with us for the holiday?” I ask, turning to Jake. I have learned over time that his home life is a hard one His mother is always hiding and running because of what she is. He used to have to pretend that he didn’t know how to find her, but now, it’s the truth, His step father and sister will be the ones to pick him up, and he will be lucky if he gets to see his mother much at all over the break. It’s the worst case of a broken family I could imagine. Even being an orphan doesn’t sound so bad. At least I know where my parents are and that they loved me. And in silence, this kind of thing has me questioning the laws. But the law is the law for a reason. Not every Blood Witch can control themselves. We are the exceptions to the rule.
“Yes, I am sure. I want the chance to see her if I can, and if I can’t, then I don’t want to barge in on your first holiday back. Trust me, it will take you time to get in the groove again and then your family will want to know all about school here.”
I’ll have to take his word for it because I don’t believe that for a second my uncle wants to hear about what went on here other than I have made it out unscathed thus far. I am certainly not going to mention my run in with Adriel or what it is he wants me to think about. Only I know about that part, and I plan to keep it that way. I don’t know what to think of it, and I don’t want my uncle any more in a panic than he already was before I got here.
I give Jake a squeeze, knowing I am going to miss him. “You can call me any time,” he reminds me, pointing to me cell phone.
“I know. It’s just not the same is all.” I make a sour face as he walks away, his name being called. Plus, I can feel someone watching me, lingering and waiting for the right moment.
The celebration was only a little over a week ago, and neither I nor Kagan have tried to define things. I am not sure if I am supposed to or not.
I find that I don’t like the idea of him going home for the holidays and seeing some other girl, but I also don’t feel like I have some kind of claim to him. We went to a dance together. He tutors me. I don’t know where that leaves us. Other than the cheek, he hasn’t even kissed me yet. Though, that might be my fault for making my inexperience a bigger deal than I needed to.
Kagan comes out of the shadows where he was hiding and waiting for an opening, his head down and his hands clasped in front of him. It reminds me of how he looked when he was working up the courage to ask me to the dance in the first place. I am still shocked at all the layers I am finding to him, and I wonder what else I might uncover if we keep this up after the break. But I don’t want to freak him out by asking or demanding anything. I may not be super experienced, but I do know how guys can freak out at the mention of any commitment or exclusivity. I am not blind.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey yourself.”
“Look, I know I waited kind of late to ask you out and that we have only been to a dance. But I didn’t want to leave anything unsaid or undone on my part before we go on break.”
I put my hand up. “No, that’s really not necessary, I can be chill. I’ll see you when we get back from Yule, Kagan, and if you decide you want to call me over the break, then that’s fine.”
He takes a step forward, and I am suddenly breathless as his eyes meet mine, his nose almost touching my forehead. He leans in and plants his lips gently against my forehead in a sweet kiss, and I let out a breath I had been holding the whole time.
I am a little disappointed it wasn’t more, but I will take what I can get. It seems fair considering we have only had the one date anyway.
“Riley Graywood!” My name is called, and I pat Jinx on the head, a sign to let him know he is going to get to see Vivi. He has been better behaved the closer we have gotten to this day. I think he misses her.
“That’s me, have a good break, Kagan.”
“No,” he says, making me turn around, my mouth agape. “No, I am sorry, Riley, but that’s not good enough for me.” He closes the dis
tance between us again, biting his lower lip. I stare at it like it might be the death of me. “I don’t want to be chill. I don’t need to be chill. I am not that guy. Especially not with you. There has always been something about you, and even if you don’t feel the same, there is no one else back home that is going to make me forget.”
His lips land on mine, and it is a shock to my system. The world is spinning, and there is no one else anywhere around. It is just our lips holding each other to the surface of the planet. I didn’t know a kiss could feel like so much.
He pulls away, and my fingers fly to my lips.
“Have a good Yule, Riley.” His grin is imprinted on my mind as I float to my uncle’s car, Vivi in the back seat waiting with open arms as Jinx jumps inside, leaving my bag like it is a prison cell.
I roll my eyes at him and climb in, buckling up as I look out the window. There is no sign of the boy who kissed me now. He must have disappeared…that cheeky jerk. Figures.
“So, how was it?” My uncle asks as we get out not the road. The question sounds more like an obligation than a curiosity. I look over at Jinx and Vivi as they play with each other like long lost family members and smile.
“It was different. Interesting, I guess. There are all kinds of things I didn’t know. I am glad to be getting a break, though,” I answer, knowing he doesn’t need me to go any deeper than that. Though, Vivi may decide she wants to know what goes on there. She is from an even smaller town than me and has never known anyone personally who has attended.
“I hope you can come up with something better than that to say because we have a pit stop we have to make,” my uncle mentions, and I furrow my brow at him. I thought I was going to get to go home and sleep in for once, but no such luck.
“Where is it we have to go? I was looking forward to being home.”
“Your presence has been requested at the headquarters of the Magistrate this evening. I guess they want an update on your progress and to make sure you aren’t something they regret.” He doesn’t finish that sentence out, but I know what he means. They want to know if they regret not killing me. Well, I can at least say I have not hurt anyone or had a drop of blood. But I don’t know how worthy they will think me when they discover I am no good with my magic.
But then a thought occurs to me. “Are they all going to be there this time?”
“Reyes says they would be, yes. They have been prepared to meet you.” My uncle is practically choking on the words while I am ready to choke on my own tongue. I don’t think this is about my worthiness at all. I think this has everything to do with Adriel and the question he left me with that I still have no answer to.
It doesn’t take long until we are pulling up to the Magistrate’s building for the fourth time in my life. I get the feeling it won’t be anywhere near my last. Somehow, that scares me just as much as the idea of being executed here.
The sun is going down as we walk up the same steps that I did only three months ago thinking that it would be the last steps I ever took.
Good old Eva is waiting for me when we come in, but this time my family is led into another room with snacks and lots of toys for Jinx to play with while I am taken up the elevators, but not to the top floor.
“How exciting to get to meet them all under much better circumstances!” Eva squeals. I try not to give her a side eye as she says it. This is nerve racking; not exciting, but maybe she works with them because she feels differently.
This time, we are on the 20th floor, and it seems to look like a typical office building from this vantage point with meeting rooms and desks, though many of them sit empty right now.
I am led into a private meeting room, entirely closed in, and Eva waves goodbye with that ever cheery look as I am practically fed to the wolves.
“Please, sit,” a voice draws me to look over at the Magistrate only to find that I am alone with only one other member. “I wanted to talk with you before you meet the rest. They will be here shortly, so it is important that we use this time wisely.”
His voice is somewhere between a reprimand from a king and the sweetest symphony ever played. I don’t know why Adriel has me so tied up like this, but I obey him anyway, wanting more than anything to know what he is going to say. His energy has shifted from cold to something else, and he stands up, his perfect gait making headway toward me. I was about to be next to an angel.
It looks strange at first when he leans against the table like a human would, his perfect body scrunches up like that, but I get used to it as he reaches out and brushes a stray curl out from above my left eye. I can’t hold back my gasp in reaction to his touch which feels like it makes my blood sing. I thought it would hurt, given what I am, but it is like a drug, a thrumming that can’t be duplicated.
I don’t know why, but it also does not weird me out that he has touched me. And he looks down on me, his beautiful face perplexed. “I don’t know what it is about you, Riley, but you intrigue me.”
“I didn’t know we were on a first name basis,” I breathe.
His laugh delights me, and my hand flies to my stomach to try and calm the butterflies. “I don’t have any other,” he says. Did an angel just make a joke? “But if you don’t want me to call you Riley…”
“No, it’s fine,” I assure him, though he has the right to do what he wants as a part of the Heavenly Host and all. “You said we needed to hurry.”
“Yes, I did.” It is like he has forgotten himself. He doesn’t move away from me, but he doesn’t touch me again as he says, “I need you to answer that question about the mistake you made. I can sense you still don’t know, but you need to know. Can I trust you to find out?”
I nod my head, captivated by his deep blue pools, dragging me under the current. Is this wrong of me after having just kissed Kagan? I don’t know. But it feels like nothing can be wrong here.
“I am trusting you.” That’s all he says as he resumes his seat, and I straighten in mine, avoiding looking his direction as the other begins to come into the room. I don’t need them to see the way I look at him and judge me for it. Instead, I am polite and allow them to be introduced to me, including Julian this time, Kagan’s father. There is something the same in their eyes, but where Kagan has dark hair, his father is blonde and sallow looking. I wonder what his mother looks like.
One by one they all survey me, but Phaidra, the one known for her temper and her black cat, scare me the most.
It is Reyes that conducts yet again, but I can’t help but dart my eyes over to Adriel just once as I try to put a spin on my time at the academy so far so they will think I made some kind of progress.
His face is unreadable, and I begin to think something is very off about the angel that sits on the Magistrate.
Chapter 11
If I thought for a second that things would just pick up where they left off and go back to normal now that I am back home, I was sorely mistaken. Jake had warned me lightly about something like this, but I thought surely my family was different. That my situation was different.
I can’t tell whether the difference has more to do with the fact that I was away at school or more to do with the fact that I am now a Blood Witch, but there is a hesitation in our relationship that was never there before. All of us have trouble looking each other in the eyes, and I am finally treated as if I can make my own decisions.
Be careful what you wish for and all that...
The first change I notice is that Vivi's room is fully stocked, not just a guest room she spends once a month and some holidays in. She is living here with my uncle full time. Not that she doesn’t have a right since this is her father, but she has never had an interest in the past. She has always enjoyed being at her mother’s house most of the time.
There is a closeness there that also wasn’t there before. I see Vivi do little things to care for my uncle as if he has been made ill or broken where he can no longer figure his life out for himself. He works late into the night and needs a lot of coffee wh
en he rolls out of the bed later than even I used to. Vivi always has a cup ready for him then and some eggs or some other kind of sustenance. And she seems more mature, sweeter even.
She was always close to me in the way a cousin would be and tried to take care of me and set a good example, but she was always a bit of a bitch too and wanting to live with her mother so she could be taken care of even though she is three years older than me.
For days, I am left to my own devices. I don’t expect them to be thrilled about the new normal, but I expected more questions or concern about what is happening to me at the academy. My uncle’s sister and best friend attended the place. He works for the very organization that founded it. And even though I was forced, being in such a prestigious position is supposed to hold some honor. But I get absolutely nothing to the point I am ready to scream in someone’s ear until they acknowledge I am there, or I go deaf so that I can’t tell that it is silent as the dead here.
Now, it is the height of the Yule celebration, and I am not looking forward to it the same way that I normally would. The yule log, the songs, the stories, sitting in the dark with family. It is all supposed to invoke a feeling of togetherness and contentment, but I don’t know how into that I can get this year.
As soon as sunset begins, we are supposed to head over to Vivi's mothers house. It is the only place big enough to hold all of us. We are meeting up with many of my cousins, distant and removed, anyone related to the Graywoods by blood or marriage, to celebrate. But right now, I can’t stand to be around Vivi or my uncle or even the house I grew up in from the age of eight. It’s too sad.
So, I pull on a black hoodie, not bothering to cover my head from the rain even though I could. It reminds me that even though I am immortal I am still living. I still have living nerves attached to a blood supply that go to a beating heart. I can still feel cold and damp.
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