by Jordan Ford
Her words floor me, along with the conviction in her eyes. She believes everything she’s saying right now. She believes in me.
Lurching forward, I plant my lips on hers, pouring everything I have into it. I’m not just kissing her because she’s hot anymore, or because I’m trying to prove how manly I am.
I’m kissing her because she’s finding a home inside me.
This isn’t a fast and frenzied make-out session where we’re resisting the urge to take things to the next level.
This is a slow dance. Unmasked. Open. Honest.
My hands glide up her back, melding us together. I don’t know how I’m ever going to let her go.
I’m falling for this girl.
I don’t even know her real name.
She’s going to leave me soon to do the right thing.
And when she does, she’s going to take away one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.
#25:
A Ten-Digit Number
Christiana
Everyone’s due back today. Cars have already started arriving, dropping off reluctant boys who’d rather be at home than returning to school for another three weeks of study before Christmas. I gaze out the windows, rubbing my arms as I subconsciously wait for Ivan to arrive.
Kickboxing moves flit through the back of my mind. I wonder if I’ll have the courage to use any of them. Ivan told me this wasn’t over. The guys have promised to keep an eye on me but they can’t be everywhere…and I don’t want any of them getting a final strike. Ivan’s a battle I need to fight on my own.
As are all the battles I’m facing.
The thought numbs me. Depresses me. I shuffle back to my room, cold and lonely.
I did kitchen duty on my own this morning. The guys didn’t even come down to breakfast. When I pressed my ear against the wall, all I could hear was Kade’s snoring. I envied them. We’d stayed up way too late the night before, locked in an intense battle of Madden. Trey and I beat Kade and Riley in the end. The guys were not impressed, especially when Trey and I celebrated with a sizzling kiss that had them throwing pillows at our heads.
The sweet memory makes me grin but reality quickly kicks its ass. I’m on limited time now. Every day that ticks by is one day closer to pre-trial. Rybeck was confident it’d be before Christmas. That’s three weeks away.
My throat constricts. The blood in my veins feels thick and sluggish.
I shouldn’t want to stay in this hellhole. But I do.
Because of Trey…and his wolf pack.
With a heavy sigh, I step into my room, stopping short when I notice Riley sitting on the edge of my bed.
“Oh, hey.” He stands straight, a twitchy smile on his lips.
I close the door and raise my hands with a grin. “It’s okay, you’re safe. No flashlight, see?”
He snickers and runs a hand through his thick blond hair. “I, uh…” He puffs out his cheeks, then nods as if he’s trying to tell himself that he does in fact want to spit out whatever he’s thinking. “I was wondering if you could do me a favor.”
My forehead wrinkles. “O-kay.”
“I have a phone.” He holds it up, waggling it back and forth.
My eyebrows rise. “Good for you.”
He snickers and shakes his head. “I want you to memorize the number. It’s five-one, five-two, five-three, five-four, five-five.”
He says it so fast it takes me a minute to picture it in my head. The numbers flash through my brain and I make a face. “Really? That’s the weirdest number I’ve ever heard.”
“It had to be easy enough for Kade to memorize.”
I laugh at Riley’s short explanation.
He grins, then steps a little closer to me. “Now, come on, learn it.”
I roll my eyes. “Why do you want me to me do this?”
“So you can call us.” Riley’s gaze fills with meaning. “Anytime. No matter where you are.”
I go still.
“Riley,” I whisper. “I’m supposed to start over. No ties to my past.”
“I know,” he mumbles. “But…” He sighs. “Trey’s being sliced in half over this. I mean, the guy really cares about you…like a lot. We’ve never seen him like this before. So, maybe after the trial, when you feel safe again, you could…you know…”
Riley’s jacket rustles when he shrugs.
I swallow. “This person I’m testifying against. He’s got connections. He could still reach me from prison. It wouldn’t be safe.”
His lips pull into a sad frown. I have to close my eyes, unable to look at him. That puppy dog expression’s going to undo me in a second.
I sigh. “Does he know you’re doing this?”
“It was Kade’s idea. Trey doesn’t have a clue.” He shakes his head. “Look, I…” Puffing out a breath, Riley runs his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know all the details of what’s happening to you right now. Maybe the danger factor is too high. But come on, I saw you two on the ice yesterday. It was like a big feels overload. Trey’s not the kind of guy who can just turn his back on that. And I don’t think you can either.”
I blink, trying to take the sting out of my eyes. My forehead wrinkles as I sniff and press my lips together. Finally my head starts to bob and I choke out my question. “What’s the number again?”
“Five-one, five-two, five-three, five-four, five-five.”
“How did you even get that?”
“Don’t ask.” He winks. “You think you can remember it?”
I nod. “I got it.”
Holding my gaze, he takes my hand and gives it a squeeze. “You promise to call…once it’s safe?”
“I don’t know if it’s ever gonna be safe.” My face crumples as I fight the tears that want to take me down.
Riley’s pale eyes fill with compassion. “Don’t forget about us, okay?”
I smile. “How could I possibly?”
His smile is sweet as he wraps his arms around me. “What you’re doing…it’s amazing. You should know that. If my—” He squeezes me a little tighter, then lets out a short sigh. “Witnesses can be instrumental in solving cases.” Pulling back, he holds my shoulders and gives me an earnest smile, but not before flashing me a look of pain. He’s thinking about his dead parents right now. His voice is thick and husky when he speaks. “You’re fighting for justice. There’s no greater fight than that.”
It’s hard to talk. The emotions swirling around us are like a thick fog, but I manage to choke out a small, “Thanks, Ry.”
He gives me a good-natured slap on the shoulder, trying to break the cloudy spell, then turns and heads out of my room. The door clicks shut and I’m left alone with a ten-digit number and a promise that I should ignore.
I’m not going to be able to.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I pace to the window, gazing out at the blue sky, unable to move or think straight.
The thought of seeing Trey after this is over gives me wings, but then I think of Robbie’s twitching foot, his sudden elimination, and I’m plummeting for the earth. Watching Robbie dying was hard enough, but Trey… He’s a whole new level, and I don’t think I could handle his murder.
The clomp of shoes on wooden floors grabs my attention. I stiffen, my shoulders pinging back when knuckles rap on my door.
“Mr. Lorden?” a stern voice calls.
I roll my eyes, tempted to reply, “Dean Cockhead?”
I manage to resist the urge. The thought makes me snicker though and I open the door with a smirk.
His severe face catches my expression. His forever frown deepens. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing, sir. I’m just pleased to see you back.”
His eyebrow peaks and he mumbles, “Yeah, right,” before getting down to business. “Ms. Beasley was impressed with your effort over the break and Mr. Adler had no complaints either. You are now off in-house suspension and are welcome to attend the winter dance next weekend.”
“The…winter dance?
”
“Yes.” He nods. “A time for boys and girls to mingle together. The young ladies from Williams Academy will be attending this year.” He pauses to study my reluctant expression. His bushy eyebrows knit. “It’s the expectation that every student attend, Mr. Lorden. Since you are no longer grounded, I suggest you get excited.”
I swallow, my lips quivering as I try to force a smile. “Sounds great,” I croak.
“Right.” He nods, obviously not believing me. “Good. Okay. Carry on.”
And with that, he spins on his heel and clips next door to check on the wolf pack. Closing the door, I slump against the wood and close my eyes.
I’ve just spent a week training how to be a guy. I shouldn’t be worried about some stupid winter dance.
But how the hell am I going to fool a bunch of girls?
#26:
It’s Time to Play Pretend
Trey
The hall’s been done up with see-through fabric and fairy lights. The girls from Williams Academy spent all afternoon making the space pretty. Plenty of guys stood around ogling them as they prepared for the winter dance. It happens every year—the second Friday of December. It’s tradition for the girls to come and pretty up the place. Apparently the guys doing nothing but putting on some music wasn’t enough for them, so ten years ago the girls arrived early and decorated the hall the way they wanted it…and they’ve done it every year since.
I’d usually be strutting across the grounds, buzzed with the idea of spending my night making out with some hot chick. We’d sneak out back where she’d let me touch her boobs and I’d make her feel like the only person on the planet for a little while.
Weird thing is, I don’t actually care about doing that tonight.
The only girl I actually want to touch is standing in a suit beside me. I glance down and notice her grimace, so I nudge her with my elbow. “It’s gonna be okay.”
“Stop saying crazy shit to me,” she bites back.
Damn, I love that tongue. It should drive me nuts that she’s always got a comeback to everything I say, but there’s something about our banter that stirs me, ignites me…makes me want to spend every waking minute with her.
“I can’t believe I have to come to this stupid thing.” She looks between me and the guys. “You’re all morons.”
“Would you stop?” Kade lifts his chin. “You’re killing my buzz.”
“You’re not buzzed.”
He grins at her. “I’m drunk on happiness, baby. I’m about to get me some, and I don’t want you shitting all over it with your grumpy-ass attitude. Now stand up straight and start acting horny.”
Chris growls in her throat while Kade struts into the room. As predicted, the girls come flocking and he’s soon flirting up a storm. A few hungry gazes fire my way and I can’t help feeling the heat of Chris’s glare beside me.
Clearing my throat, I force myself away from her.
The dean kind of said she had to come but we backed him up, because everyone comes to the winter dance. Since Thanksgiving break Chris has been hanging full time with us. Guys have noticed the change in her, the fact she doesn’t lag quite so far behind in PE, the slight confidence in her gait. Even Ivan hasn’t come near her.
If she didn’t come with us tonight, people would want to know why. And when it comes to Chris Lorden, the less questions the better.
Besides, it means we’re in the same room and I can keep an eye on her.
Problem is, if I keep too close an eye then I might end up giving myself away. She looks sexy in a guy’s suit. I don’t know how it’s possible but she makes it work. It probably isn’t helping that I can easily picture everything underneath that clothing and it’s a total turn-on. I want to kiss her any chance I can get.
But not tonight.
Tonight I have to be the Trey all the girls remember, the guy who flirts, laughs and has only one thing on his mind.
I glance over my shoulder and spot Chris hovering near the drinks table.
She grabs a can of Sprite and opens it, drinking deeply before shuffling to the edge of the room.
Ivan’s watching her. I catch him out of the corner of my eye, studying her every move. Since he returned from Thanksgiving break, he hasn’t laid a finger on her. Instead he’s torturing her with constant glares and silent threats that are damn unnerving.
I want to pummel him for it, but I can’t risk that third strike.
Chris needs me at this school, so I’ll keep my fists to myself and play along.
“Hey, Trey,” a silky voice forces my attention away from Chris.
“Oh, hey, Sophia. How’s it going?”
“Good.” Her smile is coy…inviting.
I don’t shift away when she rests her hand on my arm. I have to stay put, pretend like I want this.
“Wanna dance?”
“Sure.” I force a smile and let her pull me onto the floor. Her long brown locks tickle my fingers when she tips her head back to look at me.
She thinks she’s sexy and cute.
Usually, she would be.
But I’m not in a “usually” place right now.
Whatever Chris and I shared over Thanksgiving only made me realize how much cooler she is than every other girl on this planet. The way she looks at me, the way she tells me I’m strong…that I’m a leader.
Sophia curls her arms around my neck and presses her body against mine. She starts playing with the back of my hair. I hold her waist and we sway to the music.
“You look good tonight,” she whispers, leaning in, looking for a kiss.
“Thanks,” I murmur.
She smells good. Like strawberries.
Her lips are pink and glossy. They’re doing that pouty thing that’s supposed to turn me on.
My body is asking what my problem is, but my mind’s with Chris. Over the past few weeks, I’ve gotten to know her lips pretty damn well. They’re already familiar, and I’m not sure anyone else can compare.
Sophia’s bright eyes glint as she rises on her toes, her tongue peeking out between her teeth.
If I pull away now, she’s going to make a scene.
If I tell her I have a girlfriend, she’ll want to know details. I can probably spin a lie, but everyone at this school knows I’m not a girlfriend kind of guy.
I have to go with this.
I won’t sneak her out back. I’ll just give her a little sugar on the dance floor and then be done with it.
Chris will understand.
It’s all for show.
Sophia closes the space between us, squeezing the back of my neck and diving in. The old Trey would respond with fervor. The winter formal and prom are basically the only times of the year we can get away with kissing the girls. We have to be in the hall and our hands have to stay on the waist, but teachers tend to look the other way as long as the making out doesn’t get too heavy.
Sophia’s tongue pushes into my mouth, feeling foreign and unwelcome.
But I have a role to play right now.
To keep Chris safe.
So against my better judgment, I wrap my arms around the brunette and pretend like I’m enjoying it.
#27:
Winter Dance Torment
Christiana
Okay, so I’m officially hating Trey right now.
What the hell is he doing?
I want to storm across the dance floor and slap him in the face, but I can’t because I’m supposed to be a stupid-ass guy who couldn’t care less who his friends make out with.
Taking another swig of Sprite, I try to calm the rage within, but my eyes keep flicking back to Trey and Little Miss Big Boobs. My stomach coils into a knot, tight and choking.
I scan the room for some kind of distraction, but Kade’s surrounded by a gaggle of giggling airheads and Riley’s locking lips with a blonde, his cheeks as red as raspberry sauce on a sundae.
With a huff, I spin away and find myself scowling at Ivan.
His eyes narrow, a slow smi
rk pulling at his lips.
I shift away, turning around and trying to walk casual as I move through the crowd. One girl notices me, her shy smile lighting up when our gazes cross.
Ew! Is she flirting with me?
She bites her lower lip and pulls off the standard chin-dip/coy-smile routine I’ve implemented numerous times to score me some attention.
I swallow and do a one-eighty.
I’m face-to-face with the drinks table again…and Dean Hancock.
“Not one for dancing, Mr. Lorden?”
Forcing a tight smile, I shuffle away without answering.
This night could not get any worse.
Trey’s making out with another girl!
I’m wearing a suit that makes me feel like an ugly idiot.
I want to be across the floor, encased in Trey’s arms, swaying to the music. I want to be a girl again. I want to be Ana, the flirtatious hottie guys used to line up to dance with. But that’s a pipe dream. I’m never going to be able to claim Trey as mine. We might make out in secret and act like a couple in our rooms, but he can never be my boyfriend. Not here…and most likely not in the future.
Even if I do have Riley’s number, will I ever realistically be able to dial it?
Trey has every right to play tongue twister with Big Boobs. He should move on.
Just…damn that he makes my heart hurt so bad!
I shouldn’t let myself feel anything for him. Soon Rybeck’s gonna take me into the center of my nightmare. I’ll be facing off with the devil, and then my life will change all over again.
I’ll never see Trey go to college, figure out what he wants to do with his life. He’ll probably find some cute little thing to marry and eventually have some kids. He’ll become a high-flying businessman. The brotherhood will get together every Fourth of July and vacation in the summer with their families.
And I won’t be there.
I’ll be walking the streets alone while constantly looking over my shoulder, worried about retribution from one of my family’s minions…or the Candellas.