by Marr, Maggie
“Until Tara.”
I nod. “Until Tara.”
“Did you know about the article?”
“Not until it was posted.”
“Shut. Up.” Rachel places her wine glass on the counter and leans toward me. “That bitch didn’t even tell you before it posted?”
And like that, in an instant, she is my big sister again. Still angry at me, probably disappointed, and definitely worried, but right now she is angry because in her mind, regardless of all of the above, I’m still her baby brother, and nobody gets to wrong her little brother, except maybe her.
I shake my head.
“And you forgave her?”
“I love her.”
“Oh, Jake. We don’t choose very well do we?”
She lifts her glass and takes a long sip of her wine.
“Fuck,” she says. “So why now? Why are you two broken up now if you’d forgiven her about the article?”
“There was more. At first she said she figured it out after we started seeing each other and she copped to putting it together when she saw my phone.”
“Fuck.” Rachel’s eyes grow wide. “The flip phone! And here I was worried you were dealing drugs when actually you were simply peddling flesh to the entire Westside.”
“She found it and at first she said that she just saw the name, but actually she downloaded all the numbers and contacted all the women.”
“Wowza!”
Big Sis goes to a cabinet and lifts out a couple of Pyrex dishes. She opens the refrigerator and pulls out a container of cheese and mashed potatoes.
“How’d you figure all that out?” She turns back to the counter. “Hmm, that’s an extra dish.” She lifts a Pyrex and puts it aside.
“An extra dish?”
“Yeah, that one’s not mine.”
“Right.”
It’s the one Kendall brought back to Rachel.
“How did you find out about the phone numbers?”
“There’s a woman that she reached out to, that figured out my real identity, because I bumped into her as Jake.”
Rachel sprays one of the Pyrex dishes with oil. She sets down the spray can and looks at me.
“This is all fucked up. Why did she tell you that? Why did Tara tell you the truth, finally?”
“I guess someone threatened to out me if she didn’t come clean.”.
“Now what?”
I glance through the window toward Lily. Daisy races across the yard between Fletcher and Lily. Lily throws her head back and laughs.
“I don’t know.”
I pull my phone from my pocket. “I saw Mom yesterday,” I say, and flip the phone around to Rachel so she can see the picture I took.
“Oh, Jakey. It’s her.” A tone filled with longing. Rachel presses her fingers to the corners of her eyes. “I...I don’t think we’ll see her much anymore. I mean the Mom who remembers our name.”
“No, I don’t either. It’s almost like she clawed her way to me.”
I look into Rachel’s eyes. “She told me why she took Dad back. How it was maybe the most foolish things she ever did and definitely one of the bravest. How thankful she was that she’d been that brave.” I press my lips together. “Love requires bravery.”
Rachel looks at me. “Be brave.”
Chapter 58
I knock on Tara’s door. I hear Jango’s nose pressed up against the bottom edge and I picture her entire furry body shaking with joy that I’ve stopped here to see them.
My belly tightens. I’ve been thinking about this moment, wondering what words I should or can say that will let us move forward, help us to get past the events that divide us, and I don’t know what those words are. I don’t know what exactly to say because I’m still angry and hurt and a little pissed off. But I know that none of that matters because I love Tara and she loves me.
“Jake?”
The door opens. Jango is out the door and her paws are on my legs and she hops a little on her two hind feet she’s so excited to see me.
I pat Jango and stroke her soft fur. I look back at Tara. “Can we talk?”
Tara nods, suprise on her face, and I don’t blamer her. In the past month I’ve given her no indication that I’d ever speak to her again. I’ve done a pretty good job with my avoidance system and managed not to see her nearly the entire time, with one slip up in the parking garage because I stopped and got groceries.
I walk into her place that I’ve been in a million times. This time feels a different, as though something is ending and maybe, I hope, beginning too.
“Can I get you anything?” she asks.
I shake my head and she moves to the couch.
“Sit,” she says, and reaches out toward the blue chair in the living room.
“I...I need to talk to you,” I say. “I need to put some of these things behind me.”
The color leaves Tara’s face as though she’s completely aware that this moment, this conversation with me is most likely our last conversation.
“Jake, I....I have so much I want to say to you, need to say to you, but even when I say all these things you’ll still—”
“Please let me say what I need to say.”
She surrenders to the couch and Jango lies down at her feet.
“Tara, I love you.”
Tara presses her hand to her mouth.
“I will love you for the rest of my life. I know that, and that’s part of why I was so upset. Because I felt as though you traded on that love, but I traded on it too. I believe you when you say that you wouldn’t do this again and I know that we both have baggage to unpack and put away in this relationship. But I know I want to do this work with you.”
Absolute shock, I see it in her eyes.
“You...you...want us to be together?”
“I ... this has been hard on me. I, I am still trying to work through my anger at you going through my phone. Actually lifting the numbers so that you could get a story.”
She nods and her face looks grim.
“But where love is concerned, I need to be brave, and I want to be brave with you.” I walk to her and I pull her to standing. She is right in front of me and the scent of fresh soap and hints of lavender come with her.
“I love you. You love me. We aren’t perfect people, but we only get so many trips around the sun and I don’t want to spend any more of them without you by my side,” I say.
“Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”
She looks up at me and I know in this moment that this is the woman for me, that there will never be a Wonderfuck again, that there will only be me, Jake, and her Tara, and together we will get through the bad and cherish the good and be a couple that weathers it all.
I know this because I trust that this love I feel pulsing through what was once a heart deadened by pain, has come back to feel and love a woman that I’m ready to build a lifetime of memories with.
A smile slips to her face and she weaves her hand through my hair and kisses me. I know that there is nothing more in this world that I will ever want or need. I only want to be her Mister Wonderful.
The End
Acknowledgments
With every book there are many people to thank. First, thank you to my readers. I love writing and I love that you read my writing. Thank you.
Thank you to the Maggie Marr SUPERSTARS!
Thank you to Kristin Nelson, Maria Connor, Jennifer Brown, Kiki Chatfield, Kelly Hartog, Cami Brite, and Michael Canales.
Thank you to RWA, LARA, & OCC.
Thank you Margaret A. Marr, Lauren Harrison, Nealie White, Gayle Leftwich, Dixie Marr, Linda & Bill Henderson, Lindsy & Mark Henderson, Paula & David Glasscock, Amy & Brent Zacky, Garrett Marr, Victoria & Karl Makinen, Maria Seager, Peggy Cafferty, Molly Ware, Ally Carter, Pamela DuMond, Cassie Hayes, Sylvie Fox, Theodora Taylor, Allie K. Adams, Beth Yarnall, Jenn LeBlanc, Tameri Etherton, Kelly Hartog, Let It Rain, Catherine Bybee, Debra Hollan
d, Debbie Decker, Sydney Holmes, and Bob.
Thank you to Chad and the kidlets; to the moon and back--everything is for you.