Her brain scanned every other possible candidate. There were a few possibilities. But none had the previous surgical experience of Ricardo.
‘Are there any models left?’
Asta frowned, but nodded.
‘Okay, we’ll be in here for a few hours. I’ll need Ricardo for the second surgery. Can you call him and ask him to practise upstairs until we need him?’
Was that really cheeky? Maybe. But he hadn’t been involved for the last few weeks. Grace’s liver was basically going to be shredded. The model up in the clinical room showed the extent of the problem. It would also give him a good idea of the vein retrieval that was required.
She was swallowing her panic as best as she could. Her eyes met Giovanni’s. He gave her a simple nod.
‘Trust Ricardo,’ he said quietly.
She couldn’t see his mouth. Only his eyes.
She felt a flicker of panic starting to creep around her. She could do this. She could do this surgery with no assistance. But it would be long and arduous. Even she might get tired. The only person who expected her to be invincible was herself.
‘Ask him,’ she said to Asta. ‘Then I need you back here with me.’
Asta gave the briefest of nods before disappearing.
Izi was positioned at the head of the table. Both girls were now anaesthetised. ‘We’re ready,’ he said.
Autumn locked eyes with Giovanni. There was a gleam in his eye, a confidence in both himself, and in her.
She smiled underneath her mask. ‘Let’s do this.’
* * *
One surgery merged into the next. Every bone and muscle fibre in his body ached. He ignored the people watching the pioneering surgery from the gallery above them and focused only on Grace and Hope.
When they made the final incision to separate the girls, the whole room hushed.
Autumn leaned over and stroked both girls’ faces and spoke in the sweetest voice he’d ever heard.
‘Grace, Hope, we’re going to keep you apart for a little while—just to make sure you both get better. But as soon as we can we’ll have you next to each other again. I promise you that.’
Her bright green eyes locked with his and he could see the raft of emotions hidden behind the mask.
He spoke quietly too. ‘Okay, Hope, you’re going to stay with me, while Grace goes next door.’ He touched the tiny dark hairs on Grace’s head. ‘See you soon, beautiful.’
And in the blink of an eye he was in Theatre with only his team.
Hope’s surgery was quicker than Grace’s. It was still painstaking and intricate work, but his team were well-practised and things went like clockwork. Six hours later he finished the neat row of stitches in Hope’s abdomen and chest.
He took a moment, leaning back over her. ‘All done, sweetheart. Now I’m going to see your sister while my colleagues look after you.’
He looked over his shoulder and through to the adjoining theatre. He could see Autumn, her strain evident in the set of her jaw and stiff shoulders.
‘What’s happening?’ he asked, his focus shifting for the first time in hours.
The ICU sister was getting ready to transfer Hope. ‘I think they had an issue with the vein retrieval,’ she said. ‘They had to change plans.’
His stomach clenched. Autumn had practised that part of the surgery over and over again. He tried to stay calm as he wondered how the lack of control was messing with her mind.
She was a professional. She had assistance. He should have faith in her. But he wanted to burst in and ask if she needed assistance. Every part of his body wanted to help the woman he loved.
‘Giovanni?’
The ICU sister was looking at him expectantly.
‘Matteo and Gabrielle? Are you coming to update them?’
Of course. That had to be his first priority.
He snapped off his gloves. ‘Absolutely.’
He took one last glance over his shoulder and then followed his team out of the theatre.
* * *
She was calm. She was definitely calm. But she’d noticed the movement next door. ‘Have they finished?’
‘They have,’ replied one of the theatre team who was standing against the wall.
‘How did things go?’
‘Just as expected. Hope’s good and being transferred to ICU.’
Autumn took a few long, slow breaths. Hope was good. The surgery had been a success. She’d expected it, but was still surprised at the huge wave of relief rolling over her right now.
Ricardo’s grey gaze caught her attention. He had his instruments poised carefully. There was a hint of hostility in the air between them that both were choosing to ignore. He clearly knew that she was the reason he hadn’t been chosen for a team. But when he’d been called today, he’d come immediately. And he’d practised for a few hours in the lab upstairs.
She wondered if she would have been as forgiving.
Now he spoke in a low voice, showing parts of experience, resentment and knowledge. ‘The radial artery is unsuitable. We’ll need to use the saphenous vein.’
‘Have you done this before?’ asked Autumn.
In adult coronary artery bypass surgery, the artery in the arm, or the vein in the leg, were often the vessels used to replace damaged cardiac vessels. To give Grace’s liver a blood supply she’d always known they would have to do a similar kind of surgery. But all her thoughts had been based on using the radial artery.
‘Have you?’ queried Ricardo.
Autumn swallowed. If they couldn’t repurpose a suitable artery or vein, then Grace wouldn’t survive this surgery. Her tiny lobe of liver wouldn’t have a chance to heal and grow. But she wasn’t going to let the panic that was trying to creep up and over her get a hold. Certain elements of this were outside her control, but she had to grasp the parts that she still had. Starting with Ricardo.
She heard a noise as the door opened. Giovanni. He moved as if it were the most normal thing in the world to come into another surgeon’s theatre during a ground-breaking operation. He grabbed one of the wheeled stools and perched a leg on it, pushing back against the wall and folding his arms.
He was here for the long haul. She knew that. He wasn’t going to interfere. He wasn’t going to offer to help. But if she needed him to assist all she had to do was ask. It was like a warm comfort blanket being nestled on her shoulders.
She sucked in a breath and counted in her head, pushing the panic away from her. ‘Ricardo,’ she said steadily. ‘Give me your professional opinion on whether the saphenous vein is the best option or whether we should consider something else.’
It was a question she would never normally ask in her theatre. She was the lead surgeon. This was her surgery. But she was willing to do whatever it took to make things work here today and give Grace the best possible outcome. If that meant she had to mend bridges with a surgeon she’d offended, then she would absolutely do that. Grace was what mattered.
There was silence for a minute. She tried to work out if Ricardo was being rude, or if he was genuinely taking the time to think. When his grey eyes met hers, he gave her the smallest of nods. He’d appreciated being asked for an opinion.
‘Here’s what I think we should do,’ he said...
* * *
Nine hours later Autumn tugged the heart-covered cap from her sweaty head, the mask from her face, and walked around the table and kissed Ricardo on both cheeks. ‘Fabulous!’ she exclaimed.
There had been more than a few heart-stopping moments. Ricardo was much older than her, and at one point Giovanni had wheeled over his stool to let him sit for a few minutes’ rest. The support had helped, and Ricardo had continued his part of the surgery with the stool adjusted to the height of the operating table, allowing him to lean over Grace’s tiny body.
As Grace was whisked quickly awa
y to ICU, Autumn stood in the theatre for a few moments with her hands on her hips.
The rest of the staff quickly disappeared until it was just her and Giovanni. His mask and cap were gone too.
‘You have to speak to Gabrielle and Matteo,’ he said slowly.
She nodded, knowing how important it was to let them know that the surgery had been a success. But that didn’t help the way her heart was currently twisting inside her chest. Her part was over. She could stay for the recovery, and stall for however many weeks she wanted. But at the end of the day she would have to leave Rome.
And until this second she hadn’t realised just how devastating that would be.
Slowly but surely her senses had started to awaken. She missed Sofia—the unpredictable five-year-old who also terrified parts of her. She missed her broad smile, her chatter, and the way she acted as though she’d been here before. She missed the way she could turn every book she read into a story about herself. And she missed the way Giovanni looked at his daughter when she did all those things.
Could she really face a life without seeing them both again?
Giovanni was looking at her. He’d said that after this they needed to talk. But talking was the last thing she wanted to do.
After years of living life by the rules. Of always being in control. Of never doing anything controversial or outlandish. Autumn knew entirely what she had to do next.
She held out her hand to Giovanni. ‘Let’s talk to the parents, and then I need you to come somewhere with me.’
He nodded, but glanced at her curiously as he stared at the clock on the wall. ‘It’s late—’ he began.
She grabbed hold of his hand. ‘I don’t care what time it is. We’ll speak to Gabrielle and Matteo, make sure everything is good with the girls, then we have to go.’
Giovanni was smiling, but his face was etched with amusement. ‘Is this good or bad? Or shouldn’t I ask?’
She grinned. ‘Without a doubt, it’s very, very bad.’
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
THEY HADN’T EVEN taken the time to change out of their scrubs. As soon as they’d spoken to the parents, and assured them everything was in place, Autumn had grabbed his hand and started pulling him down the corridor.
‘Have you got your car keys?’ she asked.
He nodded and pulled them from his pocket.
She dabbed something into her phone and then turned it around so he could see. ‘Do you know where this is?’
‘Of course.’
‘Then that’s where we’re going.’
As they approached the main exit of the hospital it was clear that the weather was against them. Thunder sounded and lightning flashed across the sky. It wasn’t just raining, it was pouring—a complete and utter deluge.
Giovanni stopped walking. ‘I can’t remember the last time it rained like this.’
He looked out in horror, but Autumn pulled him along. She smiled. ‘It’s like being home in Scotland. This is normal.’ Then she paused and tilted her head, the smile spreading even further. ‘Maybe it’s a message for me,’ she said quietly.
‘What?’
‘Let’s go.’
She yanked him through the front doors and out into the lashing rain. He started running across the car park towards his car, but she let go of his hand, holding her arms out and throwing her head back as she spun around a few times.
‘Are you crazy?’ he shouted, barely hearing his own voice above the thunder.
‘Maybe!’ She laughed as she joined him at the car.
They were already soaked as he started the engine and wove his way through the streets. ‘Are you going to tell me what’s going on?’
She shook her head. Speckles of water splattered from her hair. ‘Just drive.’
He did as he was told, wondering what on earth was happening. It was late. As they glided up towards their destination the rain was still sheeting around them and the streets were empty of traffic.
‘Here you are,’ he said as he pulled the car over. ‘Fontane del Tritone.’
Autumn pressed her face up against the window. ‘It looks almost magical,’ she whispered, her breath steaming the glass.
Giovanni killed the engine. The fountain was in the middle of a piazza—usually it was surrounded by traffic, but at this time of night, and in this weather, they seemed to be the only ones around. Lights on the fountain made the water gleam bright blue, and in the centre was the mighty Triton, his arms holding a conch to his lips, standing on four dolphin fins, with a rush of water spurting upwards from the conch.
In the dramatic black and purple background of the weather, the lit fountain did look magical.
‘Let’s go!’ She grinned as she opened the door.
‘And do what?’ He still wasn’t exactly sure what was going on.
But Autumn was already walking backwards towards the fountain. ‘If I’m going to learn how to play and have fun, I might as well start somewhere good!’
She threw her arms apart again, spinning around before jogging towards the fountain. Her scrubs were instantly plastered to her skin, and he glanced quickly around to check for any traffic before sprinting after her. Before he had a chance to say anything she reached down and pulled her scrub top over her head.
‘Autumn! What are you doing?’
‘Living life!’
She swung her scrub top above her head. He ducked as he moved closer to her. Her dark hair was soaked, flattened against her head. Her pale skin glowed in the street lights. Her green eyes were gleaming as he put a hand at her waist.
Her breathing was fast. ‘You asked me if I’d ever danced in the rain...jumped in a fountain? And my answer to everything was no. I’d never even considered any of those things. They were silly. They were ridiculous. But you’ve made me realise that if I want to love, if I want to have the life I long for, then I have to learn how to live first. I have to take risks...take chances. The things that have terrified me all my life. And I have to learn how to have fun.’ She pressed her wet nose against his. ‘Wanna have some fun with me?’
Before he had a chance to answer she threw her hands in the air and jumped into the fountain, kicking and splashing as she whooped out loud.
His head was spinning. He had said those things. Never realising just how literally she’d take them. But inside, his heart was exploding with joy. She was doing this for him. She was doing this for them.
There was nothing else for it. He jumped into the fountain with her, joining her in the splashing. She started singing. A kid’s song. He joined in, laughing as she danced around the dolphins.
It only took one minute for a car to slow down as it drove past, with two people staring in complete confusion through the windows.
Giovanni grabbed her again around the waist and pulled her to him. ‘Autumn, you don’t have to do this for me.’
She shook her head as she laughed and put her hands on his shoulders. ‘I’m doing it for me first and you second. I love you, Giovanni, and I love Sofia too. And that, and you, and Sofia—all of it—still...’ she tilted her head back and shouted to the dark sky ‘...terrifies me!’
As she straightened her head he could see tears on her face as well as the sheeting rain.
‘But this is it. This is my chance to let go of controlling everything in my life and take a chance. Take a chance on me, on you, on us and life.’
She ran her hands through his sodden hair and moved her lips next to his ear. ‘You trusted me, Giovanni. You told me about your wife, your truth and your fears. You told me you’d fallen out of love with her. And I backed away. I backed away because I was scared. Scared that if I gave my heart to you the same thing might happen. That I might spend years loving both you and Sofia and then you might fall out of love with me and walk away.’ She put her hand to her chest. ‘I was already scared to take the r
isk, take the leap of loving you both. Don’t you know I can’t control that? I can’t control how you both feel about me?’
‘I love you, Autumn. I wanted us to start straight. The last thing I wanted to do was scare you off.’ He put his hand to the side of her head. ‘Why on earth would you ever think I might fall out of love with you?’
She put her hand on his chest. ‘Because there’s always that chance. That’s what life is about. I’ve never met anyone like you. I’ve never felt anything like this before. I was scared that I might not be the person who could let herself love you the way you deserve to be loved.’ Tears were pouring down her face, but she was smiling. ‘My parents would be horrified by this behaviour. You told me to dance in the rain, jump in a fountain, and you were right. I have to let the world do what it needs to do around me. I can’t control every little thing, and I have to take chances.’ Her head dipped. ‘I’ve missed out on so much because I was scared to take a chance on things.’
When he spoke his voice was deep, but shaking with emotion. ‘Then I’m honoured that I’m the first guy you’ve danced with in the rain. That Sofia and I are the people you want to take a chance on.’
A car tooted on its way past. In a far part of the piazza a couple huddled under an umbrella...one of them looked as if he might be on his phone.
‘There’s one thing we still need to do.’ He cupped her cheeks in both hands and kissed her nose. ‘This adventure isn’t over yet.’
Now it was Autumn’s turn to look confused. ‘What?’
‘It’s a secret.’ He grabbed her hand. ‘But let’s go before we get arrested.’
They ran back to the car, where Autumn grabbed her top and pulled it over her head again before they dived back in, soaking the seats with their wet scrubs. Giovanni blasted the heaters as he manoeuvred around the Rome streets. He was still grinning at her. Autumn peeled the scrub top from her skin, holding it out to try and keep some of the water from pooling on the seat.
Reawakened by the Italian Surgeon Page 16