Hindsight: True Love & Mischief in the Golden Age of Porn

by Howie Gordon

  Thomas Becket and Henry II of England. Aunt Kitty and Uncle Manny. Bogie and Bacall. Randy Spears, Steve McQueen, and Christa Speck. Robert J. Stoller, John Candalaria, Tom “the Bomb” Tracy, Chelsea Handler, Tamarlane, Jonas Salk, and Jason Robards Jr.

  Robert Rimmer, John Cleland, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Joseph Heller, Elmore Leonard, Malcolm X, and Anne Rice. Judy Garland, Mighty Mouse and the man who shot Liberty Valence. Abbie Hoffman and Thomas Paine. Aaron Sorkin and Nicolo Macchiavelli.

  Barbara Shore, Julia Child, Marilyn Monroe, and Eleanor of Acquitaine. Harry Truman, Hare Krishna, and Harry Houdini. Knute Rockne. Sammy Davis Jr. and William Pitt. Brad Pitt, Leonard Pitt, Debby PeachPit, and Pickadilly. Jack Shore, Erotica Boing-Boing, Slinky, and Benita Mae.

  JoAnn Weinstein, Chuck Stepkin, Anna Lechner and Pi, Frankie Avalon, Fabian Forte, and Richard Boone. Natalie Wood and Natalie Wouldn’t. Paul Lynde.

  Jiminy Crickett, Sam Cooke, Dean Martin, and Jerry Lewis. Gayle Palmer. Betty Dodson, Joan Baez, Jane Fonda, and Cathy Tavel. Matt Damon. Perry White and Perry Como. Red Skeleton. Michael Rosen. Brooke West. C.J. Laing.

  Catherine the Great, Susie Bright, Gloria Leonard, Ramona Pudding and Marcy Wheeler. Jim McDonald, David Steinberg, Cousin Charlie and Myra. Charles de Santos, Dorothy Kilgallen, Aunt Boomie, Uncle Walt, Caryn and Bruce, and Bruce Lee. James Donahoe, Leland Carroway, Lawrence James, and Clyde Johnson. Veronica Hart, Ricky Frazier, Thomas Eikrem, Darklady, and Juliet Anderson.

  Walter Cronkite, William Bradford Huie, and Huey Newton. Mallard Plumbing, Walsh Brothers, Bob Kelso, Megan and Logan, Gwen Downer and Daniel Bruce.

  Marianna Beck, Jack Hafferkamp, Chris Hall, and Michaela Goldhaber. Simone Corday, Connor Habib, Sam Benjamin, Harold Adler. Dorothy Le May & Flip. Sugar Ray Leonard. Jerry Mahoney and Knucklehead Smith. Elvis and Don Fernando. Peter, Paul, and Mary. Jack Benny. Alan Shepherd.

  Al Goldstein, Ron Jeremy, Hugh Hefner, Larry Flynt, and Golda Meir. Jeff Zittrain, Fred Gwynne, Vanessa Del Rio, Bob Hoskins, and Diane Lane, Maurice and Gregory Heinz, Richard Gere, Nicolas Cage, James Remar (the best Dutch Schultz ever!), and Sir Francis Coppola, Ray Charles and Willie Nelson.

  Rod Serling, Lili Marlene, Samantha Fox, Eddie Gaedel, Phary Burd, Simon Bolivar, Sharon Mitchell, Tigr, Radio Richard Harris, Tito Bobby Frank, Umbrella Ronnie Kaufman, Wayne Richard Sablowsky, Sean Michaels, Gayle Sterling, Pat Manning, and The Great Gildersleeve. Liberace.

  Aaron Stuart, Jessie Adams, David Morris, Blair Harris, Tina Ross, Monique Gabriel, James Sullivan, Danielle, John Wayne, William Holden, and Stan Musial. Chris Cassidy, Holly McCall, Lynn LeMay, Megan Leigh, Irv Carsten, Dave Cummings, Bullwinkle, and Banana Cream Pie.

  Peter North, Anna Turner, Joao, Tom Byron, Ecclesiastes, Gilda Radner and Gene Wilder. Kat Sunlove, Layne Winklebleck, Steve, George, and Martha Reeves. Richard Burton, Joani Blank, Anthony Quinn, Ichabod Mudd — with two D’s, Rin Tin Tin, Corporal Rusty, Fury, and Redd Foxx.

  Hernando Cortes, Patroclus, Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft, Lou Gehrig, Paul Bunyon, Peter O’Toole, Dorothy Provine, Louis Armstrong, and Dorothy Malone.

  George Brett, Oliver Wendell Holmes, and Bennett Cerf. Eddie Murphy and Carol Lombard. Shanna McCullough, Robert Bullock, Anissa Malady, Nadine Jolson, Ira Levine, Kenji, Roger Carr, Denise La France, Ellen Rosenberg Woods, Roy Rogers, Steve and Bonnie Landes, Kathryn Reed, Butch Cassidy, The Sundance Kid, Jim Babb, Ashley and April Spicer, Diana Wiley, Rebecca Giardina, Wiley Coyote, and Ona Zee.

  Oh, let’s not forget Picante, Everett & Jones, and Salerno’s in Berkeley. Weinstein’s, Mineo’s, Polonsky’s and Sodini’s in Pittsburgh and the S & W Diner on Washington Blvd. in Culver City. Hi, Michelle!

  …and everybody else.

  Endorsements

  “As his college roommate, I take partial credit for derailing his goal of becoming a rabbi. My collection of erotic paperbacks (each borrowed several times; some returned with pages stuck together) ignited his passion and inspired him to venture down the path of adult entertainment. His journey is fascinating. I plan to read it at night, under the covers, with a flashlight.”

  Jeff Freilich, Writer/Producer for film and television

  “What can one say about Richard Pacheco…WONDERFULLY WITTY, DEEPLY THOUGHTFUL and CARING, one of the “BEST MEN” I have ever had the pleasure to have known in my entire life. It has always been my pleasure to have and call Mr. Pacheco my friend but more than that it is such an honor to KNOW that he is my friend. Mr. Pacheco is one of those kind of…YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS A MINUTE OF THIS…kind of people. We are very, very lucky to have him with us.”

  SEKA, Hall of Fame Adult Actress, Author, Inside SEKA

  “How can I ever forget this senior class president who charmed and challenged teachers and students alike? It’s been 45 years since I was Howie’s English teacher and his wit, personality and talent still shine brightly in my memory. His ability to write from a fresh perspective and his creative phrasings and mastery of language serve him well in all his writing. A reader who seizes upon Howie’s writing is in for a memorable ride. Buckle your seat belts, readers. Howie will take you to places you’ve never been before!”

  Lenore Mussoff, Teacher

  “Despite his keen insights into the world of adult entertainment, Richard Pacheco remains a stylish writer and a terrific dad.”

  Scott Small, Managing Editor, John Stagliano’s Buttman magazine

  “Enlightening! One of adult entertainment’s true survivors, after a particularly rough last couple of years which saw too many lustful luminaries snatched from our collective bosom : John Leslie, Jamie Gillis, Marilyn Chambers, Gerard Damiano, etcetera, all of whom you will learn plenty about within these packed pages.

  Howie Gordon a/k/a Richard Pacheco has seen it all, done most of it and is now telling all anyone, with even a passing interest in the halcyon days of theatrical hardcore, needs to know. A vital backstage chronicle of an era in American filmmaking the likes of which we will never see again.”

  You can quote me on that !

  Dries Vermeulen aka Dirtymoviedevotee (www.distribpix.com)

  “A gifted raconteur whose extensive career as an adult film star has been enriched by his intelligence, sense-of-self, education and acting chops, Richard Pacheco has written an important memoir. A balance for his film career has been his successful marriage of long-standing, and fatherhood. While still in the business he brought heart, and the view that sex (in life and in film) could show sensitivity, and be beneficial. Memoirs by male porn stars have been very rare. Who better to share a male star’s insightful view of the adult industry than the talented Richard Pacheco!

  Simone Corday, Author of 9 1/2 Years Behind the Green Door, A Memoir: A Mitchell Brothers Stripper Remembers Her Lover Artie Mitchell, Hunter S. Thompson, and The Killing that Rocked San Francisco.

  “I too often felt about the x rated community that I wouldn’t want to belong to any club that would have me as a member. Howie, aka Richard, was one of the few with whom I always thought I could have been friends. His intelligence and sensibilities, his bright character and demeanor begged the question…’what’s a nice boy like you doing in a place like this?’ And yet when the time came he always ‘rose to the occasion.’ The business was much better for having Richard in it.”

  “Let the side show begin!”

  Paul Thomas, Hall of Fame Adult Actor, Writer, Producer and Director

  “Richard Pacheco, the first talent to render double duty during the dawn of what we now consider The Golden Age of Porn. He not only dandled and pierced the big screen with his ‘thrusty’ rapier but he was also the first acknowledged real actor in the biz. No part of us did he not arouse. Now he amusingly takes his fine talents and memories to pen.”

  Robert Altman (Photographer), The Sixties, Santa Monica Press

  “The final word on the jizz biz from one of its greatest actors. On film and video, Pacheco turned the “sexy nerd” into an art form with his vulnerable, memorable characters. Hindsigh
t puts his wit, witticisms, insight and unique experiences—husband/father/adult film star—into an unforgettable package.”

  Ariel Hart/Cathy Tavel, Writer, Co-Author, Raw Talent

  Catherine Gigante Brown, Author, The El

  “Howie Gordon is one of those exuberant souls that change your worldview before you even knew you had one. He is more alive than most of us will ever dream of being, and he is unafraid to experience the wilds, both inner and outer.

  In Hindsight, he shares his adventures through the torrid jungles of the sex industry: a narrative which is often comical and sometimes profound, it cracks the door to reveal a poignant glimpse of a forbidden world. Here’s to Howie — his courage and his candor will shock and tickle you.”

  Cynthia Moore, Author of Spencer’s Pond

  “I’ll never forget the time Howie acknowledged me on stage at the porn awards. He dropped his pants behind the podium, slipped out of his skivvies and asked the folks in the audience to pass them back to me.

  What a tribute! And I love the way he writes! His huge humor keeps me laughing at the truth sprinkled with pathos. Let’s exchange our X-rated memoirs. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours!”

  Betty Dodson, Author of My Romantic Love Wars: A Sexual Memoir, available from www.dodsonandross.com

  “I have been waiting to read this book for years and years, ever since Richard returned to our alma mater to tell the new students that he was no longer ashamed to die, because he had won some victory for humanity. I’m sure that Horace Mann would have considered Richard’s book, not to mention his performances in Seven Seductions of Madame Lau, to be a considerable victory for suffering humanity, as well as for poor sex-starved Antioch College. Who else among his fellow alumni can say that they’d been there and done that?”

  Richard Freeman, Antioch College, Batteries Not Included

  “Howie ‘Richard Pacheco’ Gordon is one of the funniest, most socially/culturally insightful guys I’ve ever met whose job used to be dipping his wick in stunningly beautiful women on camera.”

  Mark Kernes, Sr. Ed., Adult Video News

  “The advantage that Pacheco has over other porn celebrity memoirs is that the man can actually write. I know, that’s an under-appreciated talent today, but for those of us who like a good read along with our salacious revelations, it’s a major plus.”

  Dian Hanson, Taschen Books

  “The world had better read and pay attention to this book. For male or female, puritan or hedonist, there are lessons here…if one can stop laughing long enough to recognize them. The writing ranks with the heavies, Yeah, I mean like Vonnegut and Vidal. Having spent most of the last twenty years reading books, I know what I’m talking about. The post script penned by Mrs. Gordon is a matchless little maraschino atop a delightfully decadent repast.

  I once asked Howie if it was hard being a guy in porno films. “It better be,” he replied.

  I laughed, not realizing how deadly serious he was.

  Thanks for the preview, Howie/Richard. I just can’t hardly wait for your first signing party.”

  Georgina Spelvin, Hall of Fame Actress, Author of The Devil Made Me Do It

  “Mark Twain meets Don Juan — a delectable fusion of brains and balls!”

  Dr. Marianna Beck, Ph.D., The Material Culture of Sex

  “Be ready with hankie in hand for tears of uncontrollable laughter as well as for being deeply moved by the heartfelt, self-revealing, in-your-face honesty with which “Richard” weaves his stories of an exceptional male dancing between his conscience and libido, at all costs remaining in his heart. As a contemporary of Pacheco’s during the Golden Age of Adult Entertainment, I witnessed his artistry — yes artistry — and creativity first hand. Thank God he was there, in an industry which to a large degree and unwittingly so often promoted heart-less sex.

  I have personally waited with great anticipation for the completion of Hindsight. Yippee!!!”

  Kay Parker, Hall of Fame Actress, www.kaytaylorparker.com

  “Richard Pacheco wasn’t your typical ‘porn stud’ and thank Goddess for that. He became a much beloved and sought out performer during the golden age of porn thanks to his timeless good looks, his wit, his great personality, and an ability to deliver a great performance under the hot lights and scrutiny of an unforgiving crew. His legend will live on in the hearts and minds of both the women who worked with him and those who watched.”

  Candida Royalle, author, entrepreneur and erotic film pioneer

  “I understand that The Nobel Committee for Literature are with great anticipation waiting for Hindsight to come out! It is rumored to be the best thing since Hemingway’s ‘The Dirty Old Man & the Sea’…”

  Thomas Eikrem, FILMRAGE Magazine

  “Dear Howie, Having the pleasure to meet you, and get a taste of some of your stories, I want to hear them all! Cheers to you.”

  Valerie Gobos, Gobos Film & Entertainment

  “Mr. Pacheco has written a most wonderfully enjoyable account of the x-rated industry — stories that amaze, amuse and astound…a must read…”

  loves ya long time sailor boy.

  Famed Director Wesley Emerson

  “Actually, parts of it are quite good!! And other parts make me want to pull my hair out! Still other parts find me saying ‘wow, I didn’t know that about him.’

  The theme of misogyny in the porn business contrasted with his appreciation for the intimacy he shared with ‘extraordinary women’ is what really fascinates me as a reader.

  Overall, the good news is that it’s a ‘page turner,’ which in the end is all that really matters.”

  Lloyd Segal, Tycoon and Marquis buddy

  “I have the greatest respect for your writing ability and for you as a person.

  I love you…and I’ll leave it right there.”

  John Seeman, Hall of Fame Actor. Writer, Producer & Director

  “His voice is a unique chemistry. It combines a pure, almost naive idealism and an old-world, wise-man wisdom. It is seasoned with a dash of Henny Youngman, Mel Brooks, and Joan Rivers thrown in there for good measure. Like good method acting, it’s believable and true to life. His prose makes me laugh, makes me cry, and, occasionally, gives me a hard-on.”

  Bob Ernst, Actor, Writer, Director, teacher, and founding member of “The Blake St. Hawkeyes”

  “It’s easy to categorize Howie Gordon’s Hindsight as a porn actor’s memoir but for the fact that the setting, i.e. the American adult film industry of the 1970s, serves to propel the story without being THE story. Howie Gordon’s tale is about one man’s journey at the historical watershed moment when the forces of suppression and expression competed in a societal tug-of-war that strengthened both sides for the cultural battles that followed. One cannot have a complete discussion about this era, the Woodstock generation, Viet Nam, Watergate, the Beatles, the Kennedys, Playboy, women’s liberation, gay rights — the so-called counter culture, without including sexual liberation and its commercialization.

  Any movement that takes root creates a market. The by-product of the morality conflict was a visible vice that gave rise to the concept of prurience as a product, the business component of sex, drugs and rock n’ roll.

  No one is better qualified to set a personal memoir against this backdrop than Howie Gordon. An articulate man with a passion for self-expression, Gordon used his skill-set to launch a career in pornography before the home video revolution replaced adult film actors with sex performers more akin to acrobats than thespians.

  Decades later, having dropped out of the commercial sex industry, Gordon harnesses this same talent for fearless self-exposure that served him in front of the camera to deliver a no-judgment point of view about his career choice as a vehicle not only for easy income, but also as a raison d’être, a conscious trade-off that closed doors to more respectable career opportunities that might have been, while exposing him to life experiences, good and bad, that ultimately informed Gordon’s psyche, turning him into
a mature, unapologetic, revealing, self-fulfilled and highly interesting raconteur…perfect qualities to write a memoir worth reading.”

  Christian S. Mann, over three decades in the business side of “The Business”

  “Howie Gordon writes about life as a porn star with more honesty, integrity and humor than any other porn star, ever! You will laugh, cry, and fall in love. I hope his book gets made into a movie, because it will be a one-of-a-kind blockbuster.”

  Annie Sprinkle, Ph.D., Internationally Acclaimed Performance Artist, Author of Post Porn Modernist

  “Howie Gordon inhabits his voice and history as the ghost of Richard Pacheco with clear-eyed analysis of the adult business and wry, engaging humor. He takes us into the mind and body of his porn-star alter ego (one of the best actors ever to hit the studio naked) and gives us a glimpse of the waning days of the Golden Age of Porn, when some of the best explicit work ever was put on film.”

  Carol Queen, Ph.D., Founding Director of the Center for Sex & Culture (San Francisco) Author of Exhibitionism for the Shy.

  “Mr. Gordon’s story will make you laugh, cry, gasp with surprise and move your soul. He holds back nothing in sharing his extraordinary journey from Fat Boy, Athlete, Hippie, Swinger, Actor, Model, Porn Star, Devoted Husband, Doting Dad and all-around Mensch. We should all be so lucky to count him as a friend or neighbor. Buy this book!”