by Karen Deen
“Thanks, Dad. At least someone knows what a good driver I am.” Lilly grinned, satisfied like she’d won the argument.
“Well, I’m not sure I said that, but let’s all just eat, shall we?” The whole table erupted in laughter and banter, all except Lilly who was still sulking at being teased.
After a few minutes of quiet, everyone devouring the tasty meal, the boys chatted with their Dad about work. Mitch might be retired from the head of the family business, but he still kept his finger on the pulse of what was happening.
“What’s the plans for this week, boys?” Mitch was wanting his fill of details.
“I’m off to hand out the eviction notices on the Branch Street project this week. Not a very pleasant job but we need to get them out, so the people have time to find somewhere to move to.” Zach looked a little sad. I knew how hard he found telling people their home was being torn down. I knew how hard this family worked to build places for the low-income individuals and families to live. However, to do that, unfortunately it meant they had to move people out first to build better facilities. Working so closely with Zach over the years, I knew the soft heart he had. I watched him slowly heal from the day I met him. I never found out what from, but his heart was broken into thousands of pieces. He slowly put his life back together with the help of his family and now was using all his energy working hard on these projects.
“I will organize security,” Grant’s deep voice cut in.
“No. You know I prefer to take the gentle approach. If I think I need help I’ll let you know. Thanks anyway.”
“I would prefer you take them. You never know what idiots you will come across.” Grant scowled at Zach from across the table. Luke sat back, watching the banter. Mitch let them go but was ready to step in at any moment.
“I’m fine. It’s not like I’m going to meet anyone any different tomorrow than on previous jobs I’ve done. They are all either stunned, upset, or cranky. I’ve handled them all before. It will be all the same old process. I’m a big boy, Grant. I’ve got this.”
“Whatever,” Grant grumbled under his breath.
“Well, while you boys are carrying on, girls, can you come and give me a hand clearing the dishes and serve dessert?” Sophia winked, letting me know it was an excuse for us to get into the kitchen for girl time and a bit of a gossip. She loved to know what was going on in the kids’ lives and the boys didn’t share much, so she used the girls to find out as much as she could. The girls weren’t silly, though. They wouldn’t throw their brothers under a bus, however tonight, Lilly might have been happy to dish dirt on the boys as payback for the driving comments. The joys of belonging to a big family, I guessed. If I ever got to have a family, I wanted lots of children, ensuring they all knew how much they were loved since the day they were conceived through the act of love. Every child needed to feel cherished and wanted.
With my stomach full from dinner and a dessert of homemade peach pie and cream, I was ready to crawl into bed and sleep for hours. The problem in getting a lift with Luke meant I had to wait for him to leave. The first Stevenson to make a move was my next choice. My eyes were struggling to stay open. Normally, I had good stamina for a late night but last night and today had been pretty overwhelming. For the last four years, I’d managed to stay away from Luke, and in the last forty-eight hours he’d invaded my world where I wished he could stay, but I knew he couldn’t.
“I am heading off. I have work to get done for tomorrow.” Grant stood from the table and I pondered my decision of asking for a lift from the first person to leave. I didn’t consider that it could be Grant. Making a quick decision, I decided I should leave with him. Maybe it would be safer than another trip with Luke.
“I am pretty tired, too. Do you mind if I get a lift, Grant?” I stood, seeing Luke quick to push back his chair, causing it to topple over.
“No need, I’ll take her home, Grant,” Luke almost yelled, his voice more forceful than needed. I couldn’t help but glare at him. What was he thinking acting like an idiot in front of the family?
“I can take her. I have to drive right by her place to get back into the city,” Grant replied matter-of-factly.
“I will take her. I left a few things in the Mercedes I need to get out. Let’s go, Zoe, I can see you’re tired.” Luke grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to the door.
“Stop it,” I whispered, harshly. “They are all looking at you.” He stopped in his tracks. “We need to say goodbye like we normally would.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled under his breath. “I’m just grabbing Zoe’s bag then we will do the goodbyes,” he called to his family before returning his focus to me. “That better?” he snarled.
The ride back to my apartment was quiet. I was cranky at Luke for making a scene at dinner, one I was sure would get everyone wondering what the hell was going on. He was cranky at me for being cranky at him. Which was pretty stupid, really, but we were both so stubborn that neither one of us was going to make the first move.
When he pulled into the parking spot, I collected my bag from the floor and made to leave.
“Don’t you dare open that door. You may be shitty with me, but you know better. Wait.” When I didn’t move, he got out and rounded the front of the car. I’d never heard him be so forceful with me. Opening the door, he waited for me to climb out so he could close it. The look he gave was intense. I had no clue what was going on in that stubborn head of his.
“Thank you for the lift, the car and everything today, Luke. I will speak to you Monday.”
“I will walk you to the door,” he grumbled.
“No need.” I turned, starting to walk away.
“I said, I’ll walk you to the door. It wasn’t a question.” He stomped up the path behind me towards the door.
Once inside, I turned to say yet another goodnight to Luke. He was in front of me, so close I could feel his breath. The scent of his aftershave burned into my memory, a smell that had haunted me for so long. Stunned, I remained still, my senses screaming at me. Everything buzzed in my body and I didn’t know what to do. I stepped backward, trying to give myself room to breathe and gain rational thought. That was a big mistake because he just stepped closer, closing my door behind him. We were now alone in my apartment, the only place I considered safe. A place I could let all my walls and defences down. This was a place where I could just be me and do what I wanted. This was dangerous having Luke in my space when I had no strength.
Luke
I tried but I just couldn’t stay away.
Stepping closer, I raised my hand to her cheek, slowly caressing with my thumb, her breath hitching from my touch. It was now or never. I either needed to make her mine or walk away forever. If I didn’t do something then, she would barricade me with walls that I’d never be able to break through.
“Do you even realize how beautiful you are, Zoe?” I looked straight into her disbelieving eyes. “I try so hard to stay away from you, but I just can’t. You have me mesmerized. I don’t know how to get you out of my thoughts. You make my heart race every time you walk into the room.” I slid my other arm around her waist to her lower back and pulled her against my body. There was no resistance. She wanted it as much as I wanted her. “Do you feel what you do to me? How much my body wants yours. I can’t do this friend zone. I thought I could try, but it’s impossible. I want you, Zoe, so fucking bad that I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to have you. Just say one word and I’m yours. Tell me yes, and I’ll never leave you. Say no, and I will be walking away forever. I can’t take the pain of not having you anymore.”
Her skin was sweaty and flushed, rapid breathing to match mine. My heart thumped in my chest, my head begging for the right answer.
She nodded, confirming.
“Thank God.” My mouth crashed to hers. It wasn’t nice and gentle. It was the kind of kiss that said, ‘you’re mine,’ ensuring she would remember every single bit of it. “You’ve been driving me out of my fucking mind.” N
ow I knew I couldn’t stop. My hands threaded through her hair and I kissed down her neck. I needed to show Zoe just how much I wanted her. There was no stopping me now. Zoe moaned her desire so I started towards opening her shirt. Nipping, kissing, licking, I took it all. Tonight, I was going to taste every single part of her body. It was time to do what we’d both been trying to hold back from since the first time we met.
“Oh, Luke I want you so much. I can’t stop either.”
“We’re not stopping, baby. Nothing is going to stop me from showing you how I feel tonight. Not a thing.” Feeling her legs weaken, I grabbed her ass cheeks with both hands and lifted her up around my waist. Kissing her deeply, I headed to the table where we had coffee in the morning. The place where all the flirting had happened. Now it was time to see the real action. Laying her gently down, I noted the desire in her eyes. The uncertainty had left, and now the sexual fantasy took over.
“I want to get to know every single part of your body. Touch it, taste it and make it feel so fucking good. You have given me aching, blue balls for years. Now it’s time for your punishment for being such a sexy turn-on. Teasing me with all those skirts in the office. The ones that tell me heaven waits underneath, but I can’t touch.” She giggled. “Oh, we think it’s funny, do we? Let’s see how funny it will be when I fuck you so hard tonight you can’t even walk tomorrow. Then who will be the one laughing?”
“Please,” Zoe moaned.
I couldn’t hold back anymore. Grabbing her shirt, I ripped it apart, sending buttons scattering over the floor. Zoe gasped, arching her back at the same time. She was desperate to be touched as much as I was to touch her.
“Pink lace. I dream of you in lace, every night. I just knew you would be a lace girl. Soft and beautiful on the outside and a sex kitten underneath. Time to show me what you’ve been hiding from me, my little kitten.” I slowly ran my fingers down her shoulders to the tops of her bra on each breast. Tracing the outline of the lace until my fingers met in the middle, I wasted no time. Releasing the clasp, her full, rounded breasts bounced free. They were the most inviting tits I’d ever seen. My tongue slid across my bottom lip just wanting to get that first taste. Lowering, I took the first hard pink nipple into my mouth and we both moaned with pleasure. “No more running, Zoe. These are mine. All mine.” Devouring her right breast while I kneaded the other, I rubbed her nipple between my fingers, giving it just the right amount of pull to fill that pleasure and pain balance that would have Zoe wet and ready for me.
“Luke, I can’t wait. I want you. I want you inside me. Please.”
I looked at the goddess spread open on her table. “Patience, my little kitten. We have all night and I intend to savour every single moment of our first time together.” Zoe tensed underneath me. “What’s wrong? Did I do something you weren’t expecting?”
“No, it’s okay. I’m fine. Don’t stop. I don’t want you to stop.”
Picking her up, I wrapped her legs around my waist and carried her out of the kitchen. “We need a bed. This is going to take a while.” She snuggled into my chest with her head in the crook of my neck. It felt like heaven. The only thing that could make it better was to have no shirt on. I wanted to feel her skin against my chest.
Lowering Zoe onto her bed, my cell rang from in my pocket. There was no way I was answering it right now. Nothing could take me away from Zoe. As soon as it stopped ringing, it immediately restarted. Reefing it out of my pocket, I set it to silence it just as the ringing ceased. “Damn Lilly, trying to wreck my moment. If only she knew where I was right now. About to find heaven.”
“She can’t know. Definitely not Lilly. She can’t know.” Zoe started to panic.
“Hush, kitten. Let’s forget about Lilly right now.” Placing my cell next to the bed, a text message popped up on the screen, bringing me to pause.
“For fuck sake! She’d better be dead, otherwise she will be when I finish with her.” Standing straight, I see Zoe’s confusion. “You are not going to believe this. Lilly has had a car accident on her way home and needs me. I’m going to bloody kill her. Good driver, my ass.” Never had I felt so torn. Laying over Zoe, I ran my hands up her body until I grasped hers above her head. Slowly, I took her lips and showed her everything I was feeling. I wanted to leave her with an ache that only I would be able to take away.
“I don’t want to leave you. It has taken so long to get to here, I don’t want to go.” I rested my head on her forehead. “Promise me you won’t run. Promise we can get back to here. I can’t go back to friends now.” I kissed slowly down her neck, taking a breast into my mouth, sucking until the nipple popped when I let go. “Now I’ve tasted you, I want more. I want all of you. Every single part.” I wanted to give her the relief she craved. But I didn’t want to rush. After having waited so long, we needed to savor what we had.
My cell vibrated. I loved my sister dearly but right at that moment, I disliked her a lot.
“You need to answer her. She will be scared.” Zoe tried to push me off her.
“Don’t move,” I growled in frustration.
“Lilly, what happened?” I was short and showed little compassion. Through sobs, Lilly tried to explain, her obvious distress pulling me from my moment with Zoe. I sat up on the bed.
“Okay, okay, slow down and take a breath. Tell me where you are, I will come and get you. It’s okay, Lilly. You aren’t hurt, that’s the main thing.” When she finally composed herself, I could comprehend a little easier. She kept repeating that it wasn’t her fault and that she wasn’t a bad driver. I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Lilly, is that why you rang me, because you know I won’t yell at your driving skills?” Again, I laughed. “I might not yell at you, but I will sure as shit be laughing about this for a while.” I mouthed to Zoe that she is fine, and she settled back on the bed. “All right, I will be there shortly. Just sit tight. I have just dropped Zoe home, so I won’t be long.” I said my goodbyes and stood to adjust myself in my jeans. If I thought I had been sporting blue balls for the last few years, that was nothing to the pain and disappointment my cock was feeling right after realizing he wouldn’t be entering the promised land tonight.
“I have to go. Can I come back? Will you wait for me?” I was almost begging, worrying that if I didn’t claim her tonight, she would change her mind.
“Message me when you’ve got her home safe. I can’t promise to still be awake. Let’s just see what the night brings.” My heart dropped just a little. I couldn’t tell if it was because she had a huge day or if it was a brush-off.
“Beautiful, you know I will be really good at waking you up when I get here.” Leaning down, I kissed her once more, hard and passionately. “That’s to remind you how good it will be when I return. Stay here and I’ll lock the door on my way out.” I pulled the covers over Zoe to keep her warm. “Keep thinking about me while I’m gone, I won’t be able to think of anything except this vision of you on the bed.” Standing, I walked to the door and turned to say goodbye.
“I don’t need to think about you while you’re gone. You’ve been in my memory for a very long time. Tonight just reminded me how good that was.” Her eyes half closed.
“What did you say?” Luke looked confused.
“Go, Luke, Lilly needs you.”
“Just like I need you.” I walk away knowing I wouldn’t be returning to her bed during the night. She was already fighting off sleep. Lilly’s phone call had put an end to her high.
There was no giving up now. I wanted Zoe badly, more than I needed her. She made me feel like I could be myself. Not just the brother, or a comic relief.
I could be Luke for the first time in a very long time.
Chapter Ten
Zoe
Hearing the front door close, I felt like I could breathe for the first time since walking through it. Luke was like a vortex at times. He consumed my every rational thought and breath. Especially, when his lips were on mine. That was the moment when only he exist
ed.
Laying on the bed still half-clothed, I was totally confused with my emotions. I wanted tonight to happen. For years I’d ached for him to touch me that way, to want me like no other man had wanted me before. My body was still abuzz. I could still feel him. Why was I so confused? If I was finally getting what I wanted, why did something feel amiss? Fighting this for years, I had a mile-long list as to why I shouldn’t be with him. At the top of the list was my job. I loved it desperately and needed it. For the first time ever, I was starting to feel secure and safe in this place. My job gave me the independence to just be me. I’d worked so hard and I was so close to buying my own place. I couldn’t afford to lose my job. There was no way Grant would stand for me dating Luke while still working for the family. I wanted both, I just didn’t know if I could.
How would I then explain my past to Luke? I knew it shouldn’t matter, but it would. No man wanted a woman who’d slept with more men than she could remember. They all wanted the almost-virgin girl. The one you took home to meet Mom and Dad. The one you married. I could never be that girl. Guilt rose up my throat when he talked about our first time together. What if he remembered me? I felt so torn about it. If I told him up front, would I run the risk of him hating me for keeping it a secret all this time? Could I live with the secret for the rest of my life? What if I didn’t tell him but he worked it out later? Would I destroy everything we’d developed? My head was spinning, the happy feeling leaving with Luke when he walked out the door. Tired, I just wanted to sleep. The darkness tried pulling me under before Luke left but now my head mulled over all my worries. It was a long-time habit of mine. Fussing over the things that were important, things that weren’t so much, big and little things, and everything else in between. My therapy helped control my thought process, but for some reason in the last twenty-four hours, my resolve was falling apart. The strength I had built was nowhere to be found. I didn’t know why my head was so jumbled. I needed sleep so I could start a fresh, new day. I also needed time on my own to sort through my emotions and get everything back in place.