by Karen Deen
“I have a few, it’s just I’ve never told them to anyone. Not even Lilly.”
“One day, when you are ready, I would love to hear them. In the meantime, let’s go. I’m starving. This man needs to be fed.” Leading her out into the living room to collect our things, I make a note in the back of my mind to find out those dreams and help her to start trying to achieve them. Something tells me that she will always be the one to sit back behind everyone else and always put herself last. Well, that’s going to change now I’m here.
“Thank you.” She quietly walks to the kitchen to turn out the light. I know she couldn’t look me in the eye to say it which is okay by me.
“What do you feel like eating? I’m good with anything so the choice is all yours,” I call after her to change the topic, so she doesn’t feel awkward.
“I’m not fussy either, but there is a great little Italian restaurant down the road that does the best fettucine carbonara that I’ve ever had. Game to give it a try?”
“Absolutely, nothing like a big bowl of pasta to feed a starving boy.”
“Pretty sure there is not one part of you that is a boy, you’re all man.” The blush I haven’t seen much today is back, creeping over her cheeks.
“We need to leave before I do something that I promised I wouldn’t do until you ask me to. Fair warning though, beautiful, you keep talking like that and I’ll be happy to show my manhood. Now, get that cute ass out the door and feed me.” I swat her backside as she walks past, giggling in that cute little nervous laugh she has. The one that really gets my body turned on. Smelly socks, keep thinking smelly socks.
Dinner is all I hoped it would be. We walk to the restaurant, taking our time. Wandering along the sidewalk holding hands. Talking about random things. Our work day, different restaurants we like. Types of cars we’ve owned. It’s effortless, which is fun.
Walking Ally up to her apartment door, I get ready to grab my bag and say goodnight. Making sure the goodnight kiss is one she will think about until I see her tomorrow. Before I get to that part, I notice she is looking a little nervous and edgy. Fumbling her keys in the lock, slowly looking around the door as she opens it. Grabbing my bag from the table, I walk back to where she is standing near the door, definitely not herself and calm like she has been all night.
“Ally, what’s wrong? Something is worrying you,” My hands now on her shoulders and gaining her attention.
“It’s nothing that matters. I’m just being silly.” Trying to avoid me, she looks down at her feet. That doesn’t wash with me.
“That’s where you’re wrong. It matters to me. I’m not leaving until you tell me. Look at me.” Waiting for her to look me in the eyes, I can hear her breathing a little faster.
Slowly, she raises her head and looks at me. “What if it wasn’t me with the door this morning? What if they come back? I know it’s silly and there is nothing to say it wasn’t me. I just can’t stop thinking about it.” I grab her and pull her into me. I never want her not to feel safe.
“I’ll stay here tonight. No arguments. I’ll sleep in that spare bed or on the sofa, whatever you prefer, but I’m not leaving until you feel safe in your own home. It’s my fault you don’t feel safe so I’m looking after you whether you like it or not.” Her shocked voice matched my shocked thoughts. My voice was direct and determined. Nothing she could say would sway me to leave. I’ll sleep outside the door on the floor if I have to, just to make sure she’s okay.
“Xavier, I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t. I’m telling you that’s what I’m doing. So, where is it to be, the spare bed or the sofa? Your choice.”
“The sofa is not happening. That is what the spare bed is for.” I start to release her to lock the door and carry my bag to the bedroom I spent so much time looking at before, when I hear her timid voice behind me. “But Xavier, why didn’t you list my bed as an option?” I stop dead in my tracks. I gently put my bag down and turn, walking back to her. Placing my hands on her cheeks that feel so warm with all her embarrassment.
“Because, beautiful Alesha, you’re not ready for that. I want that so much and I think you do, too. It’s just not the right time yet. There is no way I’m wrecking the moment that we finally give into this hot sexual chemistry that is building between us. I don’t want it to be because you are scared, or that I can’t keep it in my pants. Not because of some other weird reason. When we finally make love, it will because we physically can’t stay away from each other for a minute longer. I will be giving every part of me to you and I hope you will feel the same, too. So tonight, I will stay here in that spare bed, keeping you safe. Know, though, that when the time comes and I do lay down with you in my arms in your bed, it will be the last time you sleep alone. Understand?” She slowly nods her head like she’s floating. There is a hint of tears in her eyes, but I don’t press her and ask about them. I figure what I have just told her is enough to have her head spinning all night. We might not be in the same bed, but I guarantee neither of us is getting much sleep tonight. I know I shouldn’t have said all that I was thinking, but I can’t help it. There is something about Ally that just makes me want to give her everything and tell her all that is pouring out of my heart when she is near. She has me totally addicted to her and nothing is going to change that.
After a few moments of us standing there silent, just holding on to each other, she starts to move out of my arms.
“Xavier, can I make you a cup of tea? I’m not sure I can sleep just yet.” Shuffling to the kitchen, I can tell she’s tired, but her brain will keep her awake for hours to come.
“Sure, that might be nice.” I follow her towards the kettle, rubbing the back of my head. I’m not much of a tea drinker but tonight I’ll take whatever she is dishing out that might help me sleep. Or, give me extra time to spend with her.
We chat about our schedules for tomorrow. Ally understands I will need to be up early and gone in the morning for my first client, way before she needs to be awake. I wish she was training with me tomorrow, so I don’t have to leave her here. I invite her to come to my place tomorrow night so I can cook her dinner. Jokingly, I suggest she packs a bag just in case she wants to sleep in my spare bedroom tomorrow night. Trying to make light of the situation, I start carrying on about slumber party sleepovers and how they usually involve pillow fights. Her tired eyes twinkle as she offers ‘not tonight but maybe next time’ for the pillow fight.
“Let’s get you into bed, little one. Today has been a very big day. You look like you are ready to crash.” I pick her up off the sofa where she has snuggled in my lap as we were talking.
“Why are you carrying me?” She looks up with her sleepy eyes full of warmth.
“Because I can. Now you get into your pyjamas and then I’ll tuck you in.” She disappears into her ensuite to get ready for bed while I take in the surroundings.
Where the spare room is the soft blue shadings, Ally’s room is similar but just as I would expect. Pink, the colour of love and romance, is used to accentuate the white room. Her bed is covered in lace and very feminine. I’m not sure if I should sit on it or not. I’m dirty at the best of times. What truly catches my eye, apart from the magnificent view she has from this room, is another photo similar to the one in the spare bedroom. However, this is far more sensual. A man and woman who are naked, a sheet draping loosely over her upper body and his lower body. They are spooning with him behind her. He has her wrapped in his arms from behind and the look on her face is of pure love and feeling safe and protected. He is looking at her with love and admiration. It’s also black and white, with the only color in the photo a single red rose that the woman is holding against her heart. Such a powerful image. This photographer is amazing at capturing the raw emotion of a picture.
Just like the other picture, it reinforces how Ally wants to be loved. Just like I plan to with everything I have to give her, plus the fairy tale, too.
Sheepishly, she slips from the ba
throom straight across to her bed and slides in. From the quick glimpse I saw, there was not much clothing to see. I wish she had gone a little slower. As she wriggles a little, getting into her comfy place, I walk to her side. Leaning down, I kiss her sweetly on her lips and bid her good night. I need to get out of here before I start trying to climb into her bed beside her and snuggle in for the night. Turning off the light and closing the door, I retreat into my room after visiting the bathroom. This week, I think I deserve the award for the best restraint by a man around a beautiful woman.
What other guy do you know can tuck his hot girlfriend into bed and then walk away and go to bed in the room next to her. That takes strength. More than I know I have.
Chapter Nineteen
Alesha
My life feels like a dream.
From nowhere a man has materialised and is everything I’ve ever hoped for. Kind, considerate, funny, caring and most of all, he makes me feel safe and normal. If I sat down to write a checklist, they would all be on it. Xavier has ticked them all.
I can’t believe I am lying in my bed on my own while he is asleep on the other side of the wall. What woman is so shy she can’t even voice to the hot guy in her apartment that she wants to have him in her bed, not in the room next door. I know he is right, that we should wait, and part of me wants to. I want it to be so special that I won’t ever forget it. A memory of that first time we give ourselves to each other. The hard part is, my body is on fire and I want Xavier to take care of it now.
Tonight, all I can think about is him touching me in the place that aches for him. Everything has gone silent in Xavier’s room. I picture him lying on the bed in just his underwear. One hand up under his head while he looks out at the view of the city at night. His other hand slowly rubbing over himself trying to take away the ache. He keeps looking up to my picture on the wall of the lovers, and each time he rubs a little harder until he is peeking out the top of his briefs. Weeping and wanting relief.
My hand is already rubbing the satin of my top over my nipples that are rock hard. It’s both pleasurable and painful at the same time. It just makes the aching stronger. I can’t stop it now. My hand slides slowly down my body. Searching for that spot that I need taken care of. I’m the only one who has ever made me come like I imagine sex should. No man has given me what I can give myself. I shudder and a moan slips out as my fingers brush across my nub. It’s rock hard and I’m wet with all the thoughts of Xavier getting himself off. It’s my fantasy but it feels so real. Rubbing and pinching my nipple with my other hand, I feel my body already climbing to the heights I’m longing for. I’m lost in a world of pleasure when I freeze at the sound of my door slowly opening and the shadow of Xavier staring at me. My body is so heightened with desire it pushes me closer to the edge I’m aiming for.
“Don’t stop. Let me see what I do to you.” His low deep rumble echoes across my room.
“I can’t. I’ve never done it before….” I stammer and can’t get it all out.
“Yes, you can. Just close your eyes and listen to my voice. Imagine it’s my hand pressing down on your tit and making it long for my mouth. That’s it, baby, start to rub it for me. Nice and hard, squeeze it so tight and then pinch that nipple. Feel the pain. It makes you wet, doesn’t it?” His voice is hypnotising me. I can’t stop. Everything he says, I find my hands following. It feels so amazing. Being exposed to Xavier like this should make me panic and feel vulnerable. Instead, his calm voice has me desperately wanting him to take over and touch me. My fingers are now rubbing hard and fast on my sweet spot. I’ve given up trying to keep quiet. This is the hottest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I can’t keep my eyes closed, I need to see him. I can hear his deep breathing, but I need to look into his eyes and see what he feels. Slowly, I open up to see more than I imagined.
Xavier standing at the end of my bed, his cock in his hand, slowly pumping it back and forth, getting off on watching me. I want to touch him, to see him properly, not just in the shadows of the night lit up only by the city lights.
“You’re so exquisite. Let yourself go. I need to see you come and know it was all because of me. Hearing you moan, I couldn’t stay away.”
I’m so close I can feel my orgasm about to light up my body. My hips lifting off the bed chasing my hand wanting more.
“I’m so close,” I whimper.
“Come for me, Ally. All over your hand. Now. I need you to come now.” With that, I totally let go with no inhibitions. Screaming Xavier’s name as I come harder than I ever have. My body is pulsing and I’m still rubbing myself, slowly trying to bring myself back into the room from my place of pleasure. At the same time, I hear Xavier grunting as he comes in his hand, trying to catch it. But as I watch, it seeps between his fingers and onto my sheets. I want to crawl down and lick it off his fingers. I don’t have the guts to do it, but in my mind, it’s hot just picturing it.
“Fuck… Ally.” Xavier grunts as he finishes exploding from his orgasm.
As the orgasm fog starts to wear off, my insecurities are storming back as strong as ever.
“I’m… sorry, I shouldn’t have done that with… you here.” I scramble off the bed to run for the bathroom.
“Stop.” It makes me freeze. “Don’t you dare make that into something dirty and sleazy. That was the most sensual thing I have witnessed. Please, Ally, don’t feel embarrassed.” I can hear him walking up behind me. “Stay right there, just let me wash up, I’ll be quick.” With that, he’s in the bathroom washing his hands and back before I can finish letting out my long breath. He wraps me in his arms and takes my lips with his. The kiss is long and sensual. My hands sliding around his waist and falling to the tops of his ass cheeks.
“Ally, fuck me. That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. God, I hope one day you will do that again for me, but naked and not in the dark.”
I can’t believe I’m doing it. My head is nodding up and down slowly. “I was picturing what you look like under those satin beauties the whole time. You know you are really testing my willpower here.” I snuggle in to his chest. Hearing his heart still racing takes some of my doubt away. I did that. I had him so turned on he lost it in front of me without me even touching him.
It’s one of those times when talking has escaped me again. I’m just happy to stand here and feel his arms tight around me. His breath on my face and the smell of sex all around us.
“I need to let you get back into bed and leave you to sleep,” Xavier says as he starts to pull away. I find my voice and it comes out nice and strong.
“No. I want you to stay. Just to hold me while we sleep. Please, Xavier. It feels amazing just being in your arms. Will it be too hard on you?”
“Oh, I’ll be hard all right, but I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be.” With that, he leads me to the bed and we both slide under the covers together. He turns me and pulls my back hard against his chest, his arms encasing me.
Lying with Xavier is like being a piece that finally finds its place in the puzzle. I am the oddly shaped piece who never knew where she belonged in the bigger picture. Now I do. I belong right here in Xavier’s arms. Listening to him breathing, smelling his scent that has my heart racing every time.
“Sleep, gorgeous. I can hear your brain working. Just relax and sleep. I’ve got you.” And he has got me. Hook, line and sinker.
“Thank you.” It’s all I can manage as sleep takes over my body, peacefully drifting off to a happy place. All the thoughts of Dana and the unlocked door are totally gone.
Hearing the alarm going, I was confused what was going on. It didn’t sound like my phone and it’s still dark outside. I’m trying to wake up enough to work out what the noise is, I feel the bed move next to me and the groan from a man. Shit. I sit up straight in my bed, backing up against the headboard with fright.
“Ally, it’s me, Xavier. It’s just me, you’re safe.” Suddenly last night all comes rushing back and I remember the whole thing. Especially the last
part where I begged Xavier to sleep with me, just holding me.
“Sorry, I wasn’t awake properly. I’m not used to having a man in my bed.” I slide back down into his arms. He’s still all warm and toasty under the blankets from just waking up. “To be honest, no man has ever slept in this bed with me.”
“You’re a mean woman, you know. You keep saying things like that and my poor dick never gets to rest around you. Knowing I’m the only man you have brought here makes me a very happy man. You bring out that caveman in me, Ally.”
My head lying on his bare chest, running my hands over the light brushing of soft hair on his body. I’m already tingling all over.
“I don’t even want to say this, but I need to get up and get to work. For the first time in a very long time, I want to call in sick and stay in bed all day.” His confession has me giggling a little.
“It would be pretty boring on your own, while I was at work.” The next thing, I’m pinned under him while he is trying to tickle me. I can’t help but laugh even if he hasn’t found my ticklish spot.
His phone alarm starts up again. We both stop and look at each other. Neither of us wants to separate but life is still going on outside and we need to start the day. Well, Xavier at least.
Planting a strong kiss on me, he gets up and heads into the bathroom. I snuggle back into my bed, lying on my side waiting for him to come back out. My eyelids are still heavy as it’s only four thirty in the morning. I’ve got time for another two and half hours of sleep before my alarm will go off.
I must have started to drift back off to sleep, because I feel his lips on my cheek and him whisper goodbye in my ear. He promises to lock the door as he leaves and tells me to call him. I just mumble goodbye and remember hearing the door close, and then nothing until my alarm startles me awake for the second time today.