“Whatever you say, Pussycat.” Shade’s voice was like smooth honey, and he humored her with a smile while checking to make certain his pockets were closed.
“I just . . .” I started to say something snarky but then relented. Delilah truly loved animals of all sorts, and as rough as we’d had it lately, if saving a few frogs made her happy, then we’d save the frogs.
She glanced at me. “What?”
“Nothing, hon. Nothing.” I paid the parking garage fee and we were off. Traffic going back toward the Belles-Faire district was lighter than coming into the city proper, and it didn’t take us long to emerge from the main congestion.
As we turned onto a side street that would lead us directly to the Blackthorn Starbucks, I spied a drugstore and eased into the parking lot. “Wait here. I’ll go get a container for the frogs.”
Within under five minutes I was back, a plastic tub with a very secure lid in hand. I used the tip of my dagger to poke a few holes in the lid and then Shade carefully transferred the frogs into it. I’d also picked up a bottle of water, a plastic soap dish that would serve for a trough, and tissue paper. I figured we could crinkle it inside the tub and give the frogs some extra warmth. Delilah rigged it all up, then fastened the lid on. When she was ready, we took off again.
Another five minutes and we reached the Blackthorn Starbucks. Leaving the frog brigade in the car, we wandered into the coffee shop. I was ready for caffeine. A lot of it. The afternoon had worn me out. While my thoughts were preoccupied with finding the portal, I longed to be home to say good-bye to Trillian. I ordered a quad shot peppermint mocha and a brownie, and—leaving the others to order—looked around the room.
There, at a table in the corner, was a familiar face. Tanne Baum, one of the Fae from the Black Forest in Germany. He was from the Hunter’s Glen Clan, a group of demon hunters originating in Europe. Tanne had decided to migrate to the United States. We had saved his girlfriend, Violet, from an unscrupulous sex slave operation run by a local businessman who turned out to be a daemon, but that was a whole ’nother kettle of fish. Catching his eye, I waved and he gestured for us to join him at his table.
“Hey, Tanne.” I slid into a seat at the long table. Starbucks had recently changed their décor to include communal seating and I wasn’t sure just how I felt about it, but a chair was a chair was a chair.
“Camille, hello.” His accent gave him away. Tanne spoke in precise sentences, his words overlaid with an odd European accent. It wouldn’t be found in any country per se, at least not among FBHs, since he was full Fae. He pushed his book away and leaned back in his chair. “You were at the parade?”
“Not exactly. We were fighting pixies at the parade. A group of them decided to raise havoc there. It was a barrel of laughs.”
He took one look at my face and burst into laughter. “That good?”
Ducking my head, I shrugged and smiled. “Pixie dust makes me giddy. My magic conflicted with theirs. It was . . .”
“Breaking news: Raining frogs and slugs in downtown Seattle. You were responsible? I saw it on Twitter.” Again, the sparkling glint in his eye.
I couldn’t help but smile in return. “Yes, that was me, all right. Lovely, huh? We got rid of the pixies but . . . it’s hard when your opponents aren’t ones you can just look at and say, ‘attack and destroy,’ you know?”
Tanne sobered. “I know. In the Old Country, when my clan would go out hunting, we sought for beasts of destruction. We had no qualms about killing them—they were dangerous and had to be stopped. It’s much harder when your opponent is more . . . innocuous?”
“You understand then.” Sighing, I looked up to see Morio. He had my order in hand and I gratefully accepted the drink and food, relishing the rush as the caffeine begin to work its way through my system. “Oh, I need this so much.”
Morio returned to the counter for his own order and then, with Delilah and Shade in tow, joined us. “So, Tanne, what brings you out on this snowy day?”
Tanne saluted him with two fingers. “I needed to get out of the house.” Then, after a beat, “Violet and I broke up. She needs her space. I think the imprisonment cost her too much on an emotional level. She isn’t capable of sustaining a relationship right now. At least, that’s what she told me. So, I am stepping back. I will not pursue a woman who doesn’t want me. She quit her job and is moving back to the forest with her mother.”
I bit my lip. I’d undergone torture far greater than Violet at the hands of Smoky’s father. On one level, I understood what she was going through. But for me, the thought of running away from the memories and my family and lovers held no promise of healing. But everyone had to find their own recovery from assault, and Violet was doing what she needed to do.
“I’m sorry.” Reaching out, I placed my hand over Tanne’s. His skin was warm, and sparks flowed between our hands. Not sexual sparks, though I could easily find him attractive, but more—magical. He glanced at me, startled, as a surge of strength and power rushed from me into his fingers. Surprised by the energy rush, I slowly withdrew my hand. Tanne kept hold of my gaze with those piercing eyes of his, like glacial pools from high in the Alps they were. They matched the tousled mop of platinum hair carefully styled to look fresh out of bed.
“Thank you for your concern.” He studied me for a moment, his fingers stroking the side of his cup, then he glanced at Morio and back at me. “Violet . . . I will miss her, but I would never stop her from following her heart. And her heart is no longer focused on me.” He paused for a moment. “I am looking for a task to take my mind off her departure. If you need any help, I’m available. I’m adept, as you know, and have faced danger.”
I caught my breath. Beneath the table, Morio reached out and put a hand on my knee, squeezing gently. I wasn’t sure if it was a warning, or a love tap. But I just smiled.
“We’ll remember that. We have your number. It can be helpful to keep busy, can’t it?” I sipped at my mocha when a thought crossed my mind. “Hey, we do have something you can do today if you want. We are looking for a runaway portal and need all eyes on deck.”
Tanne blinked. “Runaway portal?”
“Yeah, it kind of . . . got away from us.” I ran down what had happened with Vanzir, Roz, and the misguided spell. “So, we have an open portal to the realm of the Northlands. That’s pretty much like putting up a bright neon sign saying, COME FUCK WITH US! Not only that, but it’s spewing out snow. Which means—well, I don’t know how that will affect the environment, but it sure as hell fucked up our living room.”
Tanne glanced at Shade, laughter dancing in his eyes. “Living in the house with the three of them? Must be one hell of a ride. Okay, then—and yes, the Northlands creatures can be temperamental. The pixies must be from the Snow Fields branch.”
“Their wings were frosty white and they were dark as night in skin.”
“That’s right. You’re lucky they only wanted to fuck with the parade. They tend to be nastier-tempered than regular pixies. Everybody up in the Northlands seems to be more stoic, harsher edged.” Tanne finished his coffee, draining the cup.
I thought of Hanna. “They have reason to be. It’s a harsh place. When Hyto kidnapped me and took me there, it didn’t take me long to develop a sense that it’s eat or be eaten. Survive or die. When the winters are long and brutal, when the snow muffles the world, there’s no time or place for fancy parties or delicate sensibilities. Even within Howl’s clan, there are few barriers to privacy.”
“You’ve met Howl?” Tanne leaned forward. “Is he like the legends say he is?”
“Howl is . . . He’s Howl. There’s no other way to put it.”
Howl was an Elemental Lord, one of the Immortals. He was a wolf spirit—not a werewolf, but a true shifter. Together with his wife, Kitää, he ruled over the Katabas Wolf People—the Wind Wolves. They had helped me when Hanna and I escaped from Hyto’s cave and made our way down the glacial mountain to their home.
“I’ve always wa
nted to meet him. He has a huge following in the Black Forest among the Supe groups. Our werewolf clans there tend to pay him homage.” Tanne leaned forward, his stare focused on me. “You should come to the forest someday. Our lands are ancient and the magic runs deep. The woodlands reek with it. You would find the moon brighter there.”
I smiled softly. Magic blood recognized magic blood. Whatever kind of woodland Fae Tanne was, his heritage was steeped in magic. He might be a demon hunter, but his spellcrafting roots ran deep as the trees out of which he had come. That much I could sense about him.
“Maybe someday I will. Meanwhile . . . will you help us find the portal?”
“Why not? I don’t have much else on my plate today. I’ve got a good sense for ice and snow magic, so I’ll head out and see what I can dig up. I’m good at tracking, you know that.” He pushed back his chair. “I’ll call you later, regardless of what I find.” And with that, he slipped on his black leather jacket and headed out the door.
I watched him go. “I have a feeling he’s going to become very useful to us in the future.”
“Plus, he has a charm that’s hard to ignore.” Delilah winked at me.
“You might want to try a little harder to ignore it.” Morio scowled at me, but then laughed and shrugged. “He’s sincere. That much I can tell. I have a feeling he’s blunt and to the point.”
“I like that. He doesn’t mince words.” I watched him exit the shop and turn to the right. “I’m sorry about Violet, though. They seemed well matched.”
Delilah shrugged. “You of all people know what trauma like she went through can do to you. She may not have been tortured or . . . ” Her voice drifted off.
“You can say it.” I looked at her. “Hyto raped me. In every way he could. And he beat me black and blue. I live with that every day and it actually helps to talk about it—I don’t feel like I’m hiding some dirty little secret then. And . . . it’s difficult to be blunt about it around Smoky because, as much as I love him, let’s face it—he still feels like he was responsible and to hear me discuss what his father did to me? Even though Hyto’s dead, it sends him into a fury.”
And that was a Catch-22. I was the victim, yes, but Smoky had been targeted by his father as well and Hyto had done a good job of wounding both of us.
Morio slid his arm around my waist. “He tries—but he’s a dragon. He’ll never feel like he exacted enough revenge on Hyto for you.”
“I know. As long as I can talk to you guys about it, things will work out.” I had to believe they would. It had been over a year, but I was learning that some wounds took a little longer to heal, even when they weren’t visible on the body. I knew that logically, and from watching Menolly, but now I knew what it was like to carry baggage on an entirely different level than I had ever had to before.
“Back to Violet,” I said, clearing my throat. “Regardless of whether or not they tortured her, they still kidnapped her, imprisoned her, and were going to sell her off. She has every right to feel what she’s feeling. She was in quite a state of shock when we found her.” I gathered my purse and finished my drink. “Well, the portal’s not going to walk up and say, ‘Here I am.’ I guess we’d better get a move on.”
“So head out now?” Delilah asked, finishing off her peanut butter cookie.
I sighed. “Right. The problem is: Where the hell should we look for it? We can drive up and down the streets keeping an eye out for a yeti, but none of us is all that skilled at tracking down magical signatures, especially when there isn’t a person involved. Morio and I can sense them, but picking one up without a place to start looking? Not so easy.”
“I think we just should go home and ask Chase to call us when the next mess happens. Because you know it’s going to happen. And you can say good-bye to Trillian.” Shade reached over to rub Delilah’s hand with his own. “If I were him, I’d want Delilah there to kiss me good-bye.” The look on his face said too much. Even Shade was dubious about Trillian making it out of the Shadow Lands alive.
“Yeah,” I whispered. “I suppose that’s our best bet.” I stared at my shoes, not wanting to discuss Trillian’s chances. I didn’t want to talk about the odds because they weren’t good—they weren’t in our favor at all. The Shadow Lands were fucked up and deadly, and if Darynal had gone missing there, chances were good he’d never see the light of day again.
The mood dampened, we silently returned to the car. I turned the ignition, and we headed home, the only sound that of the frogs croaking in their plastic prison.
* * *
By 4 P.M., Trillian and Roz were ready. They were outfitted for the road—the OW road, that is. Trousers, tunics, heavy cloaks, backpacks, and bedrolls. Weapons, of course. Roz wore his duster-cum-armory. As I watched the two of them standing there, once again a feeling of foreboding swept over me. Whether it was premonition or just nerves, I didn’t know, but a chill raced down my spine.
Even though I wanted to cry, I didn’t. I was raised to be a soldier’s daughter. I understood duty, and I had learned early to keep my tears inside every time Father left for a mission. My mother had had a harder time—but she had respected Sephreh’s wishes and taught us girls to respect the solemnity that went with the departure of a loved one, whether to war or to a rescue mission.
We all gathered in the living room—everyone was there, except Menolly. Trillian walked over to me. He reached out to stroke my cheek gently.
“I will miss you. Keep it together. Keep up the good fight. Be cautious in the realm of the Elder Fae and don’t you dare get hurt. You are my wife, and we are bound by two rituals. Know that I love you, and whatever you choose to do, I stand behind your choices.” He leaned in, kissing me so lightly I barely felt it. Yet the kiss buried deep in my core, raced pounding to my center, like a wild stallion at full speed.
“Come back to me. Find Darynal, and return.” I pressed my fingers to his heart. “I am here, in your heart, and I will never leave.”
Trillian turned to Smoky and Morio. “Take care of our woman. See to her needs. Keep my space on the bed warm and waiting.”
For once, there was no snarking, no snide comments or joking. Smoky held out his hand, then pulled Trillian into a man-brace—the kind where they clap each other on the back and then pretend they didn’t actually hug. Morio did the same.
“We’ll keep her safe. And she’ll keep us in line.” Morio winked at Trillian, breaking the tension that was building.
“Roz, you be safe. Watch over each other. You can travel through the Ionyc Seas. If things get bad, you guys hop into the currents and get the fuck out of there.” Even though I knew they could do this, I also knew how quickly things could escalate. One mistake was all it took to find yourself six feet under.
Roz nodded. “I promise.”
I could barely stand it and just wanted it over by now, like ripping off a bandage. And then, it was too soon, because Roz put his arm around Trillian’s waist, and they were gone. In the blink of an eye, Roz and Trillian vanished into the Ionyc Seas. Roz knew how to get to the portal in the Wayfarer that way, and it would save us the trouble of driving them to the bar. It also meant that my alpha husband and first great love was gone, and who knew when he’d be coming back?
I stared at the empty spot on the floor. Trillian and I had been parted too many times. It never got easier, and I never got used to it. But I had promised him no tears. And I knew that promise would last as long as it took me to get upstairs and into a hot shower. There, I would break my vow and cry as hard as I wanted to, until the worry and pain eased up enough to let me breathe again.
* * *
As I finished drying my hair and putting on my makeup for the evening, I heard noise coming from the bedroom. I slipped on my robe and padded across the hallway. It was 5 P.M. by now and dark as sin outside but the room was lit with the glow of Christmas lights. They sparkled through the room and, with the glittering green garland we had strung, turned my bedroom into a faerie land.
&
nbsp; The music was on—In Strict Confidence was throbbing out of the stereo, a Germanic band heavily influenced by darkwave and goth industrial. I loved the reverberating thunder of their music, and it always turned me on as the beat pulsed its way through my body.
I glanced over at the bed. There, Morio and Smoky were waiting for me, both naked and both obviously ready and able to make me forget my cares.
“Trillian told us to keep you happy.” Smoky laughed. “He made us promise to keep you satisfied till he came home, so we’re just doing our duty.” He reached out and I let my robe slide away. “Bring those beautiful boobs over here, lovely.”
Morio arched his eyebrows. “What he said.”
I slowly moved to them, my hips swaying lightly in the glow of the lights. Trillian’s leave-taking was still painful in my heart, and their open arms looked comforting. As I knelt on the bed, crawling slowly up the mattress to them, Smoky’s hair reached out, coiling around my wrists and ankles.
“You’re hurting, and you’re afraid for him,” he whispered.
“Take away my fear. Take me out of my head.” I closed my eyes as they pulled me between them and then, somehow, I was beneath the covers with their musky bodies flanking each side. Their skin was warm against mine.
Morio reached out to brush his fingers over my shoulder as I leaned back against him. I closed my eyes, sinking into the feel of his touch, the smell of my dragon and fox, the feel of Smoky’s hair binding my wrists.
I liked to be restrained. The ties helped me quiet the rush of thoughts in my mind. Some days it was the only thing that would silence my mind—being tied up and blindfolded, letting them play my body like a harp. Letting them do what they would to me while trusting them never, ever to take me places I could not go. There was a freedom in sexual submission that allowed me to surrender my control, surrender all the responsibilities placed on my shoulders. I could give myself over to sensation, knowing my men were there to catch me if I fell too far.
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