by Renee Young
"I don't know. There isn't a reason. It just happened." I tried "There's nothing that he has that you don't. It was just a timing thing. Please, please don't." I begged as he tore my shirt. "No please." The tears fell uninhibited now.
"Oh, but I have to." Was all he said before I felt the burn of my skin tearing. He ran the knife along my stomach, not deep, but enough to likely leave a scar. "You know, I wish we had all the time in the world, but it seems your friend has called the police. I don't think they would be so understanding of our relationship. Not after you told them I hurt you. It was silly really. That was barely anything. I'd had so much more planned." That was the last thing I heard before I felt a distinct pain in my side. I tried to scream out, but everything went black as the last thing I recalled was my head being slammed against the wall.
Chapter 28
Sawyer's POV
Why am I such an idiot? We had just talked about this. We had just fought about this. Fuck I couldn't go one day with out saying something stupid. I just wanted them safe. I need them safe. They were my family. They were my whole fucking world.
I knew without a doubt in my mind that Olivia Christine Kent would one day be my wife. She would be my wife and we would have this baby. Maybe not in that order, but they would both happen. Then someday we would give our perfect little angel a brother or a sister, then maybe another one. I would give her as many children as she wanted. I would give her anything- I would do anything to make her happy and keep her that way. Happy and safe. That's all I needed from her. I just needed to know that she was happy and safe.
I had a plan. How I was going to tell her how I felt. I had planned to be more romantic. I didn't plan to shout it at her in the middle of a fight. Nothing with Livvy ever really happened according to plan though.
When we met, it was just supposed to be a favor for my cousin's now fiance. Then; I breathed in her alluring scent. She touched me and as cliche as it was to say I felt it. It was as though I'd been electrocuted, but in a pleasant way. Then I saw her. I looked into her captivating hazel eyes, and my breath caught in my throat. I saw a future. A possibility at one anyway. She was a temptation, one that led to the most intense feelings I'd ever felt in my life. Not even my first wife could hold a handle to what Liv had given me.
So why was I intent on mucking it up? I knew she didn't want to live in fear. I knew she had these plans for months now. I knew she wouldn't be out alone. I don't know why I had this gut sinking feeling about her leaving the house. I should have just told her that. I shouldn't have tried to 'forbid' her from leaving the house. She was a stubborn stubborn woman. I knew that. I could have convinced her to stay home with me, had I done it the right way. I could have been persuasive.
So here I sat. Alone on my couch with my phone in my hand as I sent my fifteenth text message to her best friend for updates on my love. She assured me that they were fine. They were safe. They were at the dress shop, and I even got a photo of my girl mid laugh in what I can only describe as the ugliest puke green dress I'd ever seen. She looked beautiful, her smile breathtaking as always.
I almost called Nova. No way was she making my girl wear that- that thing. I had her number dialed in my phone when I got the next text explaining to me that they always did this when they went shopping. They would force the other one to try on the ugliest thing they saw. It was adorable. Their friendship brought me nothing but happiness. I loved that my beautiful girl had someone with an equally beautiful heart to stand beside her for life.
I laughed in relief. I would swear up and down, if Liv wore that dress, that it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen if I needed to. I would happily assure her that no one could even touch the beauty that was that dress. But, I'm glad I wouldn't have to.
I waited for the next update. I waited about an hour and a half as my pulse began to race. The dread that filled me was incomparable. I couldn't help the thoughts that raced through me, and without a second though I climbed into my car. I barely remember buckling my seat belt as I pulled out of my driveway. My fears and irrationality only heightened the closer I got to the shop. Something happened to her. I had no doubt in my mind. Something happened to the love of my life and I wasn't there to protect her.
Why didn't I just insist on going with them. I could have convinced them of that. I was sure of it. So why didn't I fucking try? This was my fault. Anything that happened to her was my fault. I should have tried harder. I should have followed her. Something. Literally anything.
I just sat there. All day I was just sitting there stewing over our stupid fight when I could have been out here fighting for her. Protecting her. Protecting them. She was the love of my life and she was carrying my baby, and I did nothing.
I almost lost it when I pulled up to the store and couldn't get past the police barricade. That's right, a fucking baricade. I threw my car in park and threw my door open. I didn't make it very far out of the damn car. Not without unbuckling my seat belt. I would have laughed at myself if the situation were different. If I wasn't certain that the love of my life was the reason behind the block.
I made it to the first cop I saw and I told him who I was. I urged, I begged and I pleaded for him to let me get to her. To let me see that she was still breathing. That our baby was unharmed.
"Sawyer!" I heard a small voice shout.
"Nova?" I called back as I saw her sitting in the back of one of the ambulances. She had a bandage on her forehead just above her eye. She looked like she had been crying.
"Please let him in. She's his-"
"Fiance." I cut her off, thinking this was the easiest to get them to let me back. "Please she's pregnant. I have to make sure she's okay- they're okay." The cop finally conceded and let me past. I rushed to Nova.
"I tried to stop him Sawyer, I promise I tried. He's not a small guy and he was running. I tried to stop him, but I was too late. He already got to her." My heart fell through my stomach as I took in what she was saying.
"What did he do, Nova. Is she okay?" I asked as I felt my eyes well up with tears. Not ashamed to admit I was crying out of fear for my love and my baby.
"He brought a knife." That's all I needed to hear as I rushed towards where all the cops were gathered and there was a gurney being loaded. She was on it and from what I could see there was a lot of blood.
I had never felt so slow in my life. I ran and it felt like every step I took she seemed to be moving farther from me. I just needed to get to her. I needed to feel her heart beating. I needed to see the rise and fall of her chest as she proved to me she was alive.
I got to her as they were about ten paces from the ambulance. I grabbed her hand, and she felt cold. I tried not to worry too much, she was always cold.
"Livvy, I'm here honey." I whispered as I walked with them. She didn't respond. She didn't open her eyes. She didn't do anything. "What happened?" I asked the paramedic.
"Who are you?" He asked instead of answering. I told him the same thing I'd told the cop. He nodded and then dove into his recitation of the events that had occurred. She'd been stabbed in the side. I mentioned the baby and they couldn't give me any answers. Her head was smashed against the wall, she hadn't gained consciousness since they arrived on the scene. The only thing they told me was that she was alive.
I assured them that she was strong. She would fight. For herself, for me, for our baby- she would fight. They allowed me into the ambulance with them, and I never took my eyes off her. Not while we drove. Not while they bombarded me with question after question. Not while I told them of her last attack. She was all I could see. She was all I allowed myself to see.
Olivia Christine Kent was the love of my life, and she had to be okay. If she wasn't okay I never would be again. My life was tied to her's. My life was tied to her and our baby. I needed them to be okay more than I needed to breathe. I needed them to be okay more than I needed the beating in my heart to continue.
I was in a daze as we pulled up to the emergency room and they rus
hed the love of my life off to surgery. They tossed their promises to do everything in their power to save them at me, and I barely heard it. I just stood there. I didn't move from the spot I was in when then whisked her away from me. Not until I felt a hand on my arm pulling me to sit in a chair. I didn't look at the person who moved me. I didn't hear him as he spoke. I just kept seeing her. Pale and unmoving. I just saw her. All I could see was her.
I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't stop the tears as they followed the already made trail down my face. I couldn't breathe. I don't think I wanted to. Not until I knew she was okay.
Someone noticed my lack of inhale as I felt a slap on my cheek. It was more of a gasp than an actual breath, but it centered me a little bit and it made the next breath that followed a little easier. I turned to the person beside me.
"What are you doing here?" I asked him.
"Nova called all of us. Jamie is in with her while she's getting her stitches." My brother's reply. "What do you need?" He asked and I scoffed.
"I just need her. I just need them to be okay." I told him honestly. I wouldn't be eating. I wouldn't be getting coffee. My body needed nothing but her.
"I don't know how to help you with this Sawyer. I don't know what I can say, what I can do to offer you any sort of comfort." He said and all I could do was nod. He didn't understand.
No one understood. I felt like there was a tight vice grip around my heart and if that doctor came out of that room with anything but good news that grip would turn into a yank. A yank that tore my heart straight from my chest. My heart could be bleeding and weeping for the world to see.
All because I couldn't protect her. I deserved this agony, but she didn't. My Livvy was the kindest, most sincere person I'd ever met. She had dreams. Dreams she needed to make come true. Dreams that were so close to coming true, so she had to be okay.
"Sawyer?" I looked up at the call of my name. Nova stood with my cousin wrapped around her as she cried into his chest.
"I keep thinking about the day we met." I blurted out as the image of Livvy in my button up filled my mind. "I keep thinking of that moment where she stood behind me and wrapped her arms around me. She does that a lot. Any time I'm cooking for her, or even when I brush my teeth. What if I never get to feel her delicate arms wrap around me again? What do I do?" I was practically in hysterics as my brother, my cousin and his fiance all rushed to me. "I can't breathe without her." I told them. "The last thing I said to her- I told her to stop being ignorant and to use her brain. That was the last thing she ever heard me say. I didn't shout out at her that I love her as she was rushing away from my hurtful comments." I rambled.
"Please stop." Nova begged. "Please. She didn't blame you for what you said. We talked about it and she was the one who felt silly for your fight. She knew- she knows you love her." I had three pairs of arms wrapped around me.
I had three pairs of arms wrapped around me when the doctor came out of the mysterious room. I had three pairs of arms wrapped around me when he uttered the words I barely heard. I had three pairs of arms attempt to catch me and my knees gave out and my body tried to crumple in on itself. I had three pairs of arms squeeze me tight as I finally was able to take a deep breath. For I only heard two words that the doctor uttered.
"She's okay."
Chapter 29
Sawyer's POV
"She's okay." It was relief unlike anything I'd ever felt before. It rushed through me so intense I couldn't even stand on my own two feet. My body needed to release the tension and the only way it knew how was to just let go. So I collapsed. I was held up by nothing but my brother, my cousin and my love's best friend. Though I suspect she didn't carry much of my weight.
"Can we see her?" The small girl who was wrapped around me asked the question.
"Unfortunately we can only allow family into the ICU." The doctor said.
"We are her family. We are the only family she has." Jamie answered for me and the doctor looked skeptical at first before accepting and he showed us to her room. It couldn't really feel my legs more than I knew they were there. They held me up without a struggle now that my body knew I was about to see her. She was okay, and I gotta go see her.
We made it to the door and he was about to open it when a thought occurred to me. "The baby? Is our baby okay?" I asked, suddenly feeling the panic again.
"Your baby is just fine. Her injury was on her side and her uterus was missed completely. Both your fiance and that little baby of yours are incredibly strong. Good fighters." The doctor relayed and I almost collapsed again, but I held myself up so I could see her. See them.
"Is she awake?" Nova wondered.
"She hasn't woken yet. It may take a bit. She is sleeping off the pain meds. Ideally it'll be a few hours or so, maybe longer." His voice trailed off a little, like he didn't want to say what he was actually thinking. At that my heart stopped yet again.
"She will wake up though right, doc?" Ethan asked him.
"We have no reason to believe she won't at this time." He said. It wasn't a yes. That's all I heard. He didn't say she'd wake up. I was spinning again. Trapped in this overwhelming fear and devastation. She may not wake up.
What if she never woke up? I've read stories about women who fell into comas while they were pregnant and the baby was able to grow to full term and enter the world safely, but then mom didn't make it. I didn't know if it was true or possible or anything, but I didn't want to know. I didn't want to think about Livvy essentially being an incubator.
"She'll wake up. She has to." Nova's voice was the only I heard. I didn't say anything to anyone. I just pushed my way past the doctor, past my brother, past my cousin and his fiance. I turned the knob of the door and allowed myself into her room.
My breath caught in my throat again at the sight of her. She had a bandage on her throat, and she had some bruising on her face. She was covered by blankets, so I didn't see her more serious wound. What almost had me on my knees again was the tube she had sticking out of her beautiful lips.
She needed help breathing.
I had never detested someone the way I did Mike. Even to think of his name had bile rising in my throat. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to watch the light leave his eyes while my hands were wrapped around his neck.
I didn't realize I had been shaking in anger until a tiny little hand grabbed my arm and pulled me back. She turned my body away from the love of my life, but I didn't let my eyes leave her. "You need to let go of me." I muttered in an eerily calm tone. "You have to let me go to her, Nova."
She let out a sigh, but did as I said. I wasted no time in walking to her. It was almost enchanting- how beautifully unaware she seemed. Her dark brown locks still held their shine. Sure there were more knots now, but her hair was still shiny. She looked pale, but not sickly. Her face was still plump. Her cheeks didn't look sunken in the way you hear about. Her eyes fluttered just a little, the way they did while she slept. Her arms, the arms that belong around me laid motionless beside her.
"Why?" I cried out as I looked at her. "Why would this happen to her? What has she ever done in this life or the last to deserve this? She's so perfect, so kind and pure. She helps people. She cares. Why would this happen?" I know I wasn't making sense. Nothing made sense as I stared at her lying there, helpless. My beautiful girl. My love.
"I don't know." I never expected a response. It was hard to think that someone else was hurting as bad as I was. It felt as if no one- not a single person could understand how utterly broken I felt seeing her this way.
"Is she in pain?" I asked the doctor, finally looking up. There was a terrible sound- a gut wrenching sound filling my ears. It wasn't until I looked around the room and noticed everyone's eyes on me that I realized it was coming from me. I was making the god awful noise- and I couldn't stop.
I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't stop. "I can't lose her. please you have to make sure she wakes up. I just got her. I need her to be okay. I need her to be okay." I
was begging the doctor. He looked at me and I could see the pity in his eyes, but I couldn't find it in me to care even the slightest. I didn't care if I looked pathetic or 'unmanly'. She was the love of my life, and she could possibly not wake up ever again. I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and it didn't help to stop me losing, in fact it made it worse.
"I gotchu." My brother spoke to me. I sobbed in his arms while he tried to sooth me. Nothing he said broke through the agony I'd been feeling.
I just kept thinking about the day before. We'd been at the cemetery. I didn't even acknowledge that she was there visiting her parents. How could I be so insensitive? She told me about them. Her daddy was her hero, and her mama was her best friend and I said nothing yesterday. I had tunnel vision. I just needed her to understand- to know how important she was to me.
My breakdown was interrupted by a knock on the door. I looked around, confused as to who might be here. The doctor, who's name I never got, walked and opened the door. He revealed the detective who'd been working Olivia's case along with a woman and all of my heartbreak turned to anger.
"This is your fault!" I shouted at him. "We told you. We called and we told you he was threatening her. You said she should block his number. You did nothing and now she's lying here unable to breathe on her own." I tried to get in his face, but Ethan held me tight. The fucking detective had the audacity to flinch away from me.
"Sawyer-"
"No!" I cut Jamie off. "We did what we were supposed to do. We told everyone he'd been threatening her. This is his" I pointed to the detective "and the judge's fault. They're to blame. They let that bastard walk around freely and now I might lose the love of my life and our baby." I was shaking again.