by Lindsay Nall
“What’s so funny?!” Nyght demanded glaring at the girl which just made her laugh harder.
“Yeah! It’s what people in love do!” Mari sobered at that and both her and Nyght stared wide-eyed at the little girl.
“It’s not like that Kemi.” Mari whispered. Kemi watched her for a second then jumped to her feet pointing at Nyght.
“You pervert! What were you doing hanging all over her like that!?”
“What?! I wasn’t hanging on her!” Nyght yelled back.
“You were too you big pervert!”
“Stop calling me that you little twerp!” At the sight of the two arguing, Mari giggled again. “And you!” Nyght pointed at Mari making her sober again. “What’s so funny about kissing me huh?” Mari’s only response was to blush, brightly.
“I think maybe we should leave them to get some rest, come on Nyght.” Vander sat his hand on his friends’ shoulder and tried to pull him towards the door. Kemi stuck her hands on her hips and stuck her tongue out at him as Vander was trying to escort him from the room.
“Why you little…!” Vander was forced to grab Nyght under the arms and pull him kicking and cursing out of the room. Once they were clear Reagan looked to the two in the bedroom and gave them a quick smile.
“If you need anything we’ll be next door.” He whispered closing the door and leaving the two in silence.
“Did you want him to kiss you?” Mari glared at the girl.
“Let’s change the subject shall we?”
“Ok…” Kemi whispered sitting down on the bed. “But you sure are blushing a lot.” Mari tried her best to ignore that statement, along with the last five minutes and took a serious demeanor. The two stayed in that room talking as Mari explained what a Shadow was, what a fracture was and what Kemi’s future could have in store for her. Three hours later Mari left the room in search of the others and found Vander in the next room.
“Hey, I talked to her about everything.” Vander was sitting on the bed reading an old town newspaper, at her statement, he set it down and stood.
“Is she going to…?”
“Yes. I already called Karter and a field researcher will meet us in her aunts’ village in two days, it’s good that way, it means her last night she can spend with what family she has left.” Vander smiled at her and nodded.
“I’m glad.” His smile faltered as he watched her making her cock an eyebrow.
“What is it?” He looked to the open door and went over to close it then faced her.
“What happened earlier with Nyght…”
“Little girls have wild imaginations.” Mari laughed.
“I know, but Mari…he cares about you. He was a wreck when he got you back here, I’ve never seen him so shaken up. He cares about you.” She blinked several times as the statements both Alto and Jeremiah had made to her came back ringing like warning bells in her head. She destroyed men, Clansmen weren’t supposed to get attached…
“While we were at the east district did a researcher named Jeremiah approach you guys?” Vanders’ face took on a guarded look as he nodded. “I was afraid of that.”
“Nyght kind of punched him.”
“What?!” He bit his lip trying to figure out the best way to word his response, it had been an awkward situation then and now.
“Well that researcher, he said some pretty nasty things about you… it kind of set Nyght off.”
She couldn’t even imagine what Jeremiah had said about her and frankly, she didn’t want to know. She had never had someone that angry at her before. Now finding out that Nyght had jumped to her defense so quickly…maybe Jeremiah was right, maybe she did destroy men. Still with the way she had acted towards him recently she couldn’t help but feel guilty. She knew he couldn’t get attached to anyone and yet she knew he had gotten attached to her not only because of how he had reacted to Jeremiah but how he had held her and kissed her. “Nyght…” She sighed walking over to put her hand on the doorknob before she opened it she asked Vander to do something that had him gasping. “Convince him I’m no good Vander.” With that said she left Vander in his room and went back to her own.
Ten
“Aunt Sarah!” Kemi cried out taking off at a run to the woman sitting in front of her house up ahead of them. The woman, old enough that her hair was starting to go gray, jumped up and ran for the little girl. Mari smiled when the two met in the middle and collapsed on the ground holding each other. It was a touching moment that made the four travelers feel almost intrusive for witnessing.
“Thank you for bringing her to me, it makes me so proud to know she will become a Shadow someday.” Sarah whispered once the four had caught up to them and they had stood.
“It’s an honor to know that one day she will be a teammate.” Reagan whispered bowing. Sarah gave him a once over but smiled and nodded.
“Are you all staying in town tonight?”
“No ma’am, I believe we’re going to keep on to the next town, it’s still early so we should reach it by nightfall.” Vander answered but Sarah shook her head.
“Nonsense, there’s nothing in that town that can’t wait until tomorrow, stay tonight and let us show you some real hospitality. It’s the annual romance festival, the whole town gets involved. There’s dancing and feasts, it’s a beautiful night.” Sarah sighed a little as she described the festival but it made Mari uncomfortable.
“I guess one night couldn’t hurt, right guys?” Vander looked to the others with a sheepish smile, Reagan was the only one smiling back. Nyght and Mari were both mentally off in their own little worlds, maybe they did need a night off.
Later that night as the festivities got up and running the four sat in the tavern. Reagan and Vander were sitting at the bar sipping on the taverns specialty brewed cider made just for tonight and watching not only the dancers but their friends. Mari and Nyght were sitting on opposite sides of the tavern watching the activities but not really seeing them. Vander watched as Nyght turned down an offer to dance and sent a beautiful woman on her way to someone else.
“What’s wrong with him?” Vander muttered, that had been the third woman he had turned away. “He should be having the time of his life.”
“So should she,” Reagan whispered watching as Mari turned away another man. “That’s the fifth man she’s turned away, what’s going on with those two?”
“They look lovesick to me.” The two turned to look at the barmaid behind the counter with confused gazes.
“Lovesick?” Reagan asked.
“Seen it plenty of times, especially during the yearly celebration but don’t usually see two in the same group unless it’s each other their sick over.” Reagan and Vander both whipped around in their seats to stare at their two friends. Vander thought about Mari’s reaction to what he had told her in the Inn in Kemi’s village. ‘Convince him I’m no good.’ He still wasn’t sure what she meant by that. Mari stood with a noticeable sigh and looked to Nyght but he was busy staring into his cider. With a shake of her head, she walked out the front door. “Mmmm. Yup, definitely lovesick.” Vander turned back to the barmaid.
“I’m sorry but what exactly do you mean by lovesick?” He asked.
“From the way I’ve seen it it’s something that holds the person back from what or whom their heart wants, it makes their heart sick but you’re Shadow’s ain’t ya?” Reagan turned at that question.
“What does that have to do with anything?” The barmaid sat down the last cup she had dried and leaned on the counter.
“You all travel together, it’s your job to protect people, working with someone like that makes the bond deeper but it also makes the fear of losing that person deeper too doesn’t it?” The two thought over the woman’s words internally acknowledging that working together as a team had indeed brought them closer together. The idea of losing any of their comrades made their hearts hurt. They couldn’t even begin to imagine how much deeper that pain would run if they were in love with someone in their group. �
�But what do I know? I’m just a barmaid.” The woman toddled off to the back leaving Vander and Reagan sitting there with matching looks of contemplation.
When Mari stepped outside she stopped and took a deep breath of the night air letting it calm her nerves as she looked around.
“Kemi?” She whispered seeing the girl sitting on the steps. “You alright?” She took a seat next to her.
“I…I’m scared…”
“Scared? About being a Shadow?” Kemi nodded and squeezed her stuffed pony tighter against her chest.
“You’re all so brave, so sure of what you’re doing. I don’t want to let anyone down. I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me, I want to protect everyone and keep them smiling.”
“Kemi…” Mari let out a sigh and smiled. “You’ll be a great Shadow because of that. When I first found out I was a Shadow I was so scared, I wanted to run away and hide but when I thought about the people I wanted to keep safe, the people I loved…”
“Like Nyght?” Kemi interrupted, Mari thought about it for a second and nodded.
“Yes, now. I didn’t know him before.”
“So you’ve met more people you want to protect?”
“Yes, the people I travel with and the people I meet, I want to protect them all.”
“But there are so many people in the world.”
“That’s why we need more Shadows, the more of us there are the more people we can protect.”
“I’ll do my best.” Mari smiled down at the girl and nodded.
“I’m glad.” The two sat out there for a little while in silence just watching the people walking around and the stars in the sky.
“Mari? I know you love everyone but does being a Shadow mean you can’t be in love?” Her eyes went wide at Kemi’s question. “When you look at him you look so sad…”
“Who?” She already knew the answer but she couldn’t figure out why this little girl was so obsessed with the idea.
“Nyght. You love him don’t you?” She didn’t have an answer so she just stared at her. “He loves you, the way he took care of you, he cried and was so worried just like my mother and father did, if he didn’t love you why would he do those things?” Mari thought about it for a minute trying to figure out why Kemi was so stuck on the idea of her and Nyght being a couple when the conversation with Kemi’s mother came back to her. How her father had taken care of her mother every day until the sickness became too much and she sold her soul to the demon to end the suffering. She was just equating her and Nyght’s relationship to the only other thing she had to compare it to, her parents who had been deeply in love, that was the reason, wasn’t it? “I should go home and get some sleep, the next time you see me I’ll be a full-fledged Shadow, I promise!” Kemi ran off leaving Mari with her thoughts. Her mind traveled back to what Vander had said before they left the previous town, the look on his face and what she had asked of him. With a sigh, she shook her head.
“That was just weird…”
“It’s strange, kids pick up on things that we as adults overlook.” Mari’s back stiffened when she recognized the voice behind her, standing slowly she shrugged.
“I guess wild imaginations and all. I think I’m going to call it a night.” She took one step off of the porch but he grabbed her hand, Mari turned to look at him but he was looking at the ground.
“Mari…what she said…what she asked you…” She went rigid, her mind was in a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions at just his simple statement. She couldn’t look at him and pull off a lie so she turned her body away from him even though he still held her hand.
“Kids make up fairytales, we saved her and because you looked after me she thinks it means something it didn’t.” Nyght pulled her hand to his chest and put her palm over his heart.
“So you think I don’t care?” There were emotions under what he said, emotions she didn’t want to think about, emotions he shouldn’t have. He was a clansman; he couldn’t get attached. Damn her, why did she let them get close? Why couldn’t she have distanced herself from him before? Why was she such an idiot?
“I know you do, just like you care about Vander and Reagan and every other Shadow.”
“Is that it?”
“This celebration must be getting to you; you shouldn’t put stock into a kids’ imagination.” He squeezed her hand briefly as if trying to convince her through touch alone that there was more to it than that. “Go have some fun Nyght, I’ll see you in the morning.” She slipped out of his grasp and used all her willpower not to look back at him. When she was safely around a corner she turned back to look at him with her eye engaged. His emotions were running very high, love, an emotion that always glittered showed up brightly but it was surrounded by a black aura, that blackness was pain, a pain she was causing him. Closing her eyes she leaned against the wall out of sight and sighed heavily.
“I’m sorry. I’m such an idiot.” Turning she left her friend and what felt like her heart behind.
The next morning when Mari went down for breakfast she only saw Vander and Reagan sitting at the table.
“Hey, Mari can you go get Nyght? I knocked on his door this morning but I think he fell back asleep.” She grumbled but nodded and went back upstairs. After knocking on the door twice she debated about breaking it down for a second before Nyght answered the door still wet from a shower with a towel around his neck and no shirt. It took her longer then she wanted to admit to tear her eyes from his chest.
“Oh…sorry.” She whispered fighting back her blush.
“Do you need anything else?” She cocked her head at the female voice that came from inside Nyght’s room. “Oh, hello.” A beautiful woman stood at the foot of the bed smiling at Mari. Nyght watched Mari’s eyes go flat and cold as she looked the woman over then turned her gaze to him.
“Mari I can…” He stopped when she held up a hand.
“What you do on your own time is none of my business. Vander asked me to come get you, breakfast is ready and we’re leaving soon.” She turned away and walked down the stairs out of his sight.
As the four made their way to the next town Nyght went over multiple ways to explain things to Mari, ways to convince her that what she saw that morning wasn’t what she thought it was. Girding his loins he sped up a little to catch up to her but the moment he was within two feet of her Marclay spun around and hissed at him like a cornered cat. Mari stopped walking and without turning her head spoke.
“Marclay behave.” Marclay turned back to look forward but Nyght knew better when it came to this Wigget, it was watching him. “Nyght did you want something?” Or rather it was watching out for him.
“No…” She said nothing else and continued walking forward, Marclay wiggled her butt at him. Vander and Reagan came up next to Nyght and stared at Mari’s backside as they spoke.
“Man, what did you do?” Nyght sighed and shook his head, he wouldn’t know what to tell the two even if he wanted to tell them. He needed to work this one out on his own, somehow.
At twilight, the group decided to set up camp in the woods after dealing with a few lower-level demons. Mari hated to admit that she got sidetracked and in getting sidetracked got injured. She was sitting by a small stream trying to clean the three cuts on her upper arm when Vander found her.
“Are you hurt?” She shrugged.
“It’s just a couple of scratches.
“I’ll go get Nyght.”
“Please don’t.” Vander froze at her words and looked at her. “Can you just help me? Please?” He knew he wasn’t who should be tending to a wound but the look in her eyes made him agree and a moment later he was sitting next to that stream cleaning the blood and dirt from her wounds.
“You’re a hard person to figure out.” She didn’t say anything but Vander could feel her eyes on him. “Nyght…”
“Vander.” She cut him off softly but quickly.
“Just tell me what he did wrong, maybe he doesn’t know. Guys can be pretty dense so
metimes.”
“He didn’t do anything wrong.” That got Vander’s attention. If he didn’t do anything wrong then why did she seem so angry at him all day? And why did Marclay try to bite him three times?
“Then why are you mad at him?”
“I’m not.”
“Than what’s going on?” She let out a sigh that would do the most martyred proud.
“I don’t want him to love me.”
“What?” Of all the things he expected her to say that was nowhere on the list.
“He’s the last of his clan and I’m… I destroy everything I touch.” She said it like that explained everything but Vander was still clueless. “They’re trained not to get attached, not to feel so they can document history…” The pieces were starting to fall into place now.
“So you think if he cares about you he won’t be able to do his duties?”
“He was a clansman before he was a Shadow and he’ll be one when he can no longer be a Shadow, his duties to his clan come first.”
“You know if you were anyone else I’d say you’re right but Nyght will always be a Shadow first despite what Alto wants, he doesn’t just want to document history he wants to be a part of it.” Vander tied a bandage around her arm and stood.
“What does that have to do with me?”
“Don’t you want to share your history with someone?” She didn’t have an answer for him. “Nyght always chased after every pretty woman; at least he did until you came along. Now he doesn’t even notice any of them. You should at least tell him Mari; the way I see it two people are hurting but only one of them knows why.”
“It’s better this way.” She whispered pulling her knees to her chest.
“How?”
“It’s better he thinks I don’t care about him rather than him constantly wondering what would happen if things were different.”