by Wells, Linda
“Shall I hold him while you break it?” Fitzwilliam offered.
“Why not?” Darcy nodded.
“NO!” Wickham plead as Fitzwilliam stood and held him steady. The cousin’s eyes met. Darcy let go of Wickham’s arm and smashed his fist into the bastard’s mouth. Blood dripped from his lips and teeth hung loosely from their sockets.
“Well done,” Fitzwilliam smiled, “a payback from Elizabeth?”
“From both of us.” Darcy flexed his fingers and stepped back to the desk, using his handkerchief to wipe off his hand while Wickham whimpered and held his face.
“Sir, the magistrate is here with his men.” Foster announced.
The magistrate took in the scene, made note of the silver knife, made further note that Mrs. Darcy was injured and took the physician’s name, but agreed that there was enough with the robbery that she likely would not be needed to prosecute. Soon Wickham was clapped in irons and led out to a closed wagon, cursing Darcy all the way. When he was gone Darcy stood in the middle of the study looking around at the mess that was left in his wake and at last let down his stance. Fitzwilliam approached with glasses and a bottle, and they sank into chairs. “Rather a shame that the magistrate appeared when he did, I think that you might have carried on for some time.” He smiled to see his Darcy’s eyes flick over him. “I know, you are no man of violence, and would prefer to have the law handle it, but it was sweet, and good for you to strike him yourself. I do not care to imagine what might have happened if you had not forgotten …”
Darcy held up his hand. “Please Richard; do not even let your thoughts drift in that direction. Mine are vivid enough. She was to be out this morning, but felt ill again after I departed.” The weight of what had almost happened finally hit him. “I was going to surprise her with …and I might have returned to find … oh God!” He pounded his fists on his desk, and some of the scattered papers were pushed aside, revealing Elizabeth’s open journal. Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, he pulled it forward to read her unfinished thoughts.
2 October 1809
Today is my Fitzwilliam’s twenty-fifth birthday, and I think that I may never surpass the gift I have for him. I felt something when I awakened; it was like a butterfly beating its wings rapidly inside of me. Aunt told me to expect this, but not for another month. It is probably my imagination, it likely is, but considering everything that I am feeling and Aunt’s words, I think it is certain now, I am carrying our baby. I pray that Fitzwilliam will not be frightened and will instead rejoice in this miracle. He will be a wonderful loving father; just as he is a husband. I cannot wait to see him hold our child, our love in his arms. I can just imagine his eyes now, so overwhelmed with feeling. Do not fear my dear love, I will not leave you.
Looking up to Fitzwilliam, the raw emotion was evident. “What is it, Darcy?”
“Elizabeth is with child.” He said numbly. “That is why she has been ill. That is why … Wickham might have taken them both from me!” Darcy jumped to his feet and looked wildly about the room.
“What are you doing?” Fitzwilliam was immediately at his side and gripping his arm.
“I will kill him!”
“Darcy, it is out of your hands, the courts will take care of him. Hire a solicitor to look after your interests … Stewart; he will certainly know how to handle this properly. The last thing that your wife needs is you going mad with worry and acting foolishly. You had your chance at him.” He watched Darcy’s fingers begin to twist his ring mercilessly. Fitzwilliam sighed and stepped away to find their glasses. “Come, you should return to her side to celebrate, but first let us toast this new heir!”
“Or heiress.” Darcy whispered.
“Indeed!” Richard smiled. “To the newest member of the Darcy family, may this child enjoy a long and happy life, as his parents undoubtedly will!” Darcy met his eyes. Richard spoke urgently. “Come on man, all will be well.”
“Mr. Darcy? Mr. Gates will see you.” Foster stood aside as his master moved swiftly from the room and back up the stairs. Gates was just closing the door to the bedchamber when he arrived.
“How is she?” Darcy demanded. “Is she well, is the child well?”
“You know? Mrs. Darcy said that you were unaware.”
“I just learned.” He shot a look at the door. “Well?”
“She is fine sir. Her arm will likely be sore for a few days, but no lasting harm was done, and I suspect her mouth will be visibly fine in a matter of hours, although likely tender for some time, he held her in such a way that she could not close it while …” Seeing Darcy’s fury rising, he moved on. “It is the fright that concerns me. Women have been known to miscarry after a fright, you know. As long as she remains at rest I think she will be fine. Of course we have treatments for her if the worst happens.”
“Treatments?” He whispered.
“Bleeding of course; and ice baths amongst other things.”
Darcy stared at him then drew himself up. “I am sure that those things will be unnecessary. My wife will be well.”
“Of course, I only mention them so you are prepared.” Mr. Gates looked him over. “She is far more concerned about you than herself. I suggest that you have your faculties intact before returning. Perhaps some port?”
“I am fine, sir.” Darcy said quietly. “Is there anything else? Her general health, it was affected by the pregnancy?”
“Yes, but it should be recovering now that she is so far along. The baby will come in April.” He waited for a response and not receiving one, cleared his throat. “I doubt that you will have further need of me unless …”
“They will be fine.” Darcy said decisively. “Thank you, sir. I will see you out.”
“I know my way. Should you need anything, please send for me.”
Darcy nodded and watched him go, then taking a calming breath, opened the chamber door to see her sitting up on the bed and smiling softly with her arms open to receive him. “Elizabeth.”
Chapter 5
Darcy buried his face deeper into Elizabeth’s hair and drank in her sweet familiar scent. He was sitting on the edge of the bed and had her small form encompassed in his embrace, but it was her arms that were giving the support, her hand gently stroking his head, and her soft whispers that were providing the comfort. “This is wrong; I should be wiping your tears, not the other way around.” “You wish that I cry?”
“Of course not, but you were the one who faced him.”
“But fortunately our baby saved me from him continuing and gave you time to end it.”
“Dearest, if I had not returned when I did, I cannot bear to think what may have happened.” Darcy drew away and looked at her seriously. “I will not ever let another person harm you.”
“And how exactly will you manage that?” She smiled and taking his hands in hers, examined the bruises that had formed. “Will you fight every man who looks at me?”
“If necessary.” He said in a low voice. “I am ashamed that my wife was not safe in her own home. I am infuriated that he entered and violated these walls. I have failed you.”
“Nonsense.” Elizabeth said quietly. “Every door and window is shut up tightly. You anticipated this happening. You prepared as well you could.”
“No, no, the staff did not take this as seriously …”
“Fitzwilliam, when was this house last burglarized?”
His brow creased. “Never.”
“Then perhaps if the staff was negligent, it is because they had no expectation …”
“It does not matter dearest, they had their orders. How could they not have wondered what on earth was happening in the study?” He closed his eyes. “He was beating the box with a piece of marble! And it was no feather, I know, I purchased it on my tour …”
“You know that they will not enter a room if they know we are within.” Darcy gave her a look of exasperation. “Very well, yes you are correct, I was alone in the room, and they could have knocked … but dearest, do y
ou not see, you are looking to blame someone besides Mr. Wickham for this.”
“No, I know who to blame, I blame myself!” Darcy’s jaw set and he stared down at her hands. “How could I put you in such danger? Never, never again.”
“And what do you intend to do? Never leave my side? Hire some ex-soldier to follow me around the house? Deny me my freedom to assuage your guilt? Guilt that you have no business carrying?” He looked up to her and she saw all manner of emotion playing in them. “Fitzwilliam?”
“Forgive me.” He said softly. “I am terrified, and when I am this way, I say things without thinking of the impact upon those who are listening. I allow my feelings to rule and I …” He caressed her face. “I do not form my thoughts properly. I have trained myself to close off my feelings and not react at all. It has been a long time since I have felt so out of control. This is your doing, you know. It is because of you that I lost the power to hide all emotion.”
“Oh?” She smiled and he nodded as he continued on to stroke her hair. “How have I bewitched you?”
“Countless ways.” His eyes travelled over her face. “But most of all, you have become the voice in my mind. I need that voice. I am so proud of you, dear Elizabeth.” She blushed and he smiled to see it. “How are you? How can you let me prattle on about my fears? You are far too generous, love. Please tell me what you are feeling.”
“I …right now I feel relief. I am safe with you.” She smiled and he held her hands, and fixed his gaze upon her. “You will not allow me to let it go at that?”
“Is that what you wish to do? Right now?” He squeezed and she felt his strength flowing through her. “I will do whatever you desire, love. But when you falter, when you need to let your guard down, know that I will care for you. You need not pretend with me.”
“So I do not need to find your discarded mask?” Darcy smiled and she nodded. “Very well … I just do not care to speak of it anymore today.”
Darcy wrapped her back up in his arms. “But you will think and dream about it.”
“And that is when I will need you to hold me just as you are now.” Elizabeth kissed his ear, and he nuzzled in closer. “I was terrified, Fitzwilliam. But he is gone forever. I … I would rather concentrate on this new person who has come between us.”
“Who?” Darcy drew back and searched her eyes. “Who has come between us?”
“Well, I do not know, Will. Do you wish for a boy or a girl?” She smiled and caressed his face, and seeing his eyes close, took his hand and placed it on her belly. “Do you remember when you showed me my rooms? Do you remember standing in the doorway to the nursery and speaking softly about us having children someday?”
“Yes.”
“What changed you from that sweet wistfulness to this tremendous fear that you display for your cousins and me?”
Darcy opened his eyes to find her loving steady gaze. “You were ill one night and … It was the first time I had seen you succumb to illness and it frightened me. It brought back all of the memories of my mother’s death. Not so long afterwards we learned of Audrey and …all those fears just became overwhelming to me. I cannot lose you, Elizabeth. I cannot bear to stop loving you either, but that act has left you …”
“Pregnant with our child, the product of our love.” She kissed his lips and he gratefully kissed her back.
“It does not hurt for me to kiss you?” He whispered.
“Not at all. See? I think it is better already, do you agree?” She took his hand to touch her mouth and he nodded. “Do you fear being like your father or Mr. Harwick?”
“Deeply.”
“Well if I am like my mother and my grandmothers, I will be fine. When I was talking to Aunt about childbearing, Uncle came into the room and started telling a story about how his mother was up from her bed and giving orders to the maid a half-hour after Mama was born and he is without doubt that I have similar mettle.” She smiled and wiped the tear that escaped his eye. “I am frightened too, but I promise that I will be strong for you if you are for me.”
“I can be anything for you.” He kissed her. “I cannot stop worrying, please do not ask me to try, I will fail.”
“So how will this worry manifest itself?” She sat back and he wiped her tears, then took her hands safely in his. “Will you follow me about, carrying a cushion for my aching back?”
“I will carry you everywhere.” He smiled a little.
“Oh so your back will ache instead?” She laughed. “That will not do, not at all.” Darcy said nothing, only looking down at their clasped hands and running his thumb over her ring. “Will, I need you.”
Darcy’s head lifted and he nodded. “I love you.”
“I love you.” They kissed and Darcy pulled himself together while they both reached to wipe each other’s eyes again. “Elizabeth … May I ask, why did your uncle know of your preg … our baby before I? Why did you tell him? Were you afraid I would be angry?”
“No, the last emotion I expected from you was anger.” She saw his attention was fully focussed on her and sighed. “I did not tell my uncle, I imagine that Aunt must have said something to him. He brought up the story of my grandmother on his own. Aunt recognized the signs of my condition and we talked about it.”
“You talked about me.” Darcy’s brow creased and he looked away. “I am a problem to be discussed.”
She recognized his hurt. “Forgive me, but surely you understand that a woman would give me the advice I needed, especially my aunt who I trust so much.”
“I thought that you could speak to me about anything.” He looked back down to their hands.
“I thought so as well. I have been trying to deny the truth of this for weeks.”
Darcy’s head shot up. “Why? You want our child do you not?”
“Yes, but … Oh Fitzwilliam, you were not giving me the impression that you did. I was so afraid that to tell you my suspicions would, well I do not know exactly what you would do. I do not have enough experience with you to know all of your moods and behaviours, after all, see what you have confessed to me today? If I had come to you before we left Pemberley and told you my suspicions, what would you have done?”
Darcy remained silent, and his face was unreadable as he stared into her eyes. “I would have gone for a long ride.”
She nodded and looked at him thoughtfully. “That makes perfect sense; I have twice found you in the park walking when you were upset.”
Three times. Darcy nodded. “But that was before we were together.” She smiled and he tilted his head. “You also walk when you are in need of relief, I know. We share these habits.”
“We do.” Elizabeth admitted. “So, you would have left me alone after telling you this momentous news and I would have been …”
“Devastated.” He closed his eyes. “You do know me so well, Elizabeth. You knew that to tell me your suspicions was to invite misery, not joy. Forgive me for ever giving you the impression that I could not be your confidant.” Darcy hugged her to him. “I never want you to feel alone like that again. I understand you wishing to speak with your aunt about such a subject. That makes perfect sense. I may have needed to walk but you know, I hope, that I would have returned to talk. You know that I might take time to find the words but that I will eventually.”
She smiled then caressed his soft hair. “I suppose in a case such as this, I was unwilling to wait for eventually.”
“So you avoided the discussion altogether.” He smiled and stroked her cheek. “That is very unlike you.”
Elizabeth groaned. “Well at least it did not spill out in a moment of vitriol! I have been working hard to control my tongue before my thoughts tumble out.”
Darcy laughed softly and feeling better, sat up straight and squeezed her hands. “Every moment I find ways that we are similar! Tell me what you contemplated saying to me. Give me your worst.”
“Oh, no.” Her eyes grew wide.
“Come now, love. It was not in your journal, so you
were holding it back. Were you cursing me for being unreasonably fearful? Were you furious because any other man would be thrilled to hear that his potential heir was coming? Please do not tell me that you were afraid I would be angry? After all, I have been quite enthusiastic engaging in our marital duties.”
“It is hardly a duty, Will.”
“No, not at all.” He kissed her and smiled. “Come woman, vent your spleen!” She shook her head. “Why not?”
“Because you enjoy seeing me angry too much.”
“And you deny me my pleasure as your revenge.” He smiled and saw a triumphant gleam come to her eyes. “Clever, dearest.”
“I am glad that you recognize that.” Elizabeth caressed his face with her fingers and he captured her hand to kiss. “Now, would you please call for Millie? I need to dress for your birthday dinner.”
“What? Oh, Lizzy, no, no, we cannot possibly have a dinner, we cannot celebrate …”
“Not celebrate? The day of your birth? Are you addled? I intend to celebrate this day with great joy!” She pushed him a little and when he did not move she glared. “Fitzwilliam Darcy! George Wickham will not ruin this day for me! I refused to allow your cousin to ruin your name, and I will not let this, this jealous fool take my Fitzwilliam’s birthday! Now, I am getting up and dressing. I suggest that you …go repair your attire.” She gave him another shove. “Go on, then!”
Darcy smiled and then he chuckled, he was not being denied the allure of her anger after all. Her strength was nothing to his weight and she succeeded in little more than rocking him, but she was determined. When her feet began pushing his bottom he at last stood. “Are you sure? I can send word to the Gardiners …”
“You clearly are not listening, sir.” She sighed.
“Sir?” He leaned down to look in her eyes.
“SIR!” She declared.