by Mingmei Yip
Looking happy, Mother began to feast on the watermelon seeds. She would put the seed edgewise between her teeth, crack it open, slip in the whole seed, and spit out the husk in perfect condition, then noisily chew the kernel.
I’d tried, but could never learn how to split and eat the seeds expertly in one fluid movement as she did. I’d let the seed slip and bite my finger, or swallow the seed with the husk, or chew up both the husks and the kernel in an unpleasant-tasting mess.
Mother squinted at me triumphantly. “Ha, don’t know how to do that, eh? Mind you, there’re still a lot of things you don’t know about your own mother. Anyway, let’s have tea.” She paused to pour us full cups. “Remember? It’s the best Meng Ding tea I bought from that tea shop. I’ve also dropped in slices of ginseng to give you more qi to prepare for the wedding. Now, drink your tea. Let’s read the Tong Sheng and pick the day for your marriage.”
On the red cover of this Sure Win was printed the title The Mansion of All Treasures, and the logo “Encompassing Ten Thousand Items.” Under the title was the bulging-forehead Longevity God surrounded by three colorfully clad children holding up the giant peach of long life. Hovering above the old man was the bat of good luck, and behind him, the deer of wealth.
The scalding Meng Ding tea, heightened by the delicately bitter ginseng taste, put me in a more balanced mood. But when I picked up the one-thousand-page almanac it felt like a brick in my hands, its pages crowded with obscure passages and complex diagrams. How to understand it?
I opened the string-bound book and found this:
Nov. 11. Do’s: Make offering to ancestors, enter school, make friends, get engaged, get a haircut, sew clothes, see a doctor, move house, repair the ceiling, fix the door, clean the stove, buy a house, herd animals.
Don’ts: Brew wine, take off clothes, plough land.
Dec. 6. Do’s: Make offerings, pray for fortune, go for a trip, get married, move house, start a business, plough land, fix the stove, take off clothes, bury.
Don’ts: Style hair, open a pool, go through a well.
I caressed the teacup in my palms, feeling its heat. “Ma, how are we going to read all these strange expressions? What does it mean by going through a well? What is it to open a pool? And how come a day is suitable for marriage but not for styling one’s hair?”
“Ah, foreign-produced doctor.” Mother replaced the lid on her teacup, then squinted at me with a chiding expression. “When it comes to ancient wisdom, you’re but a child. Be patient, Meng Ning. Let’s first turn to the page for the month you plan to get married, and then look for a suitable day. Of course you don’t have to read through the whole book; in that case you can write a thesis and get another Ph.D. Besides, if this Tong Sheng can’t help, then we’ll look up another one. That’s why I bought four versions. Smart, eh?”
Suddenly Mother chortled, jabbing her sturdy finger on one passage while emphatically spitting out a string of perfect husks. “Ha, ha, look at this! The day is suitable to get married, but not to roast food. How can newlyweds not prepare roast pig for their wedding?”
“But why not?” I asked, popping several peanuts into my mouth.
“Because roasted pig, especially baby pig, is proof of the bride’s virginity!”
“Are you kidding?” I stopped chewing.
Straightening her lavender cotton pajamas, Mother picked up a pig-fat sweet cake and put on an authoritative air. “On the wedding night, only after the groom has verified his wife is a virgin, will his parents send roast pig to the guests the following day. Otherwise, everybody will know the bride was a wanton girl.”
“That’s stupid! The parents can still send out roasted pig, even if the bride is not a virgin. Who would know?” I said, washing down the peanut dregs with my tea and scorching my throat.
I grimaced and Mother scolded, “Watch out, Meng Ning! I’ve told you a hundred times not to drink scalding tea and you never listen.” Then she nibbled at her pig-fat cake with great affection and went on. “Yes, the guests might not, but the gods do, because the newlyweds also have to offer the pig to them…”
Mother eyed me suspiciously, dropped her cake, and blurted out, “Meng Ning, did you follow my advice to put the cup of water between you and your Mic Ko?”
“Ma! Please stop your nonsense and concentrate on planning for my wedding.”
“All right, all right,” she sighed, now picking up an egg tart. “Hai! But for me, neither the guests nor the gods knew, for I didn’t even have a…ah, forget it.”
I knew she meant the wedding she’d never had. I reached to pat her hand.
“But it doesn’t matter anymore, for now my daughter is going to have a really big and fancy one.”
“No, Ma, I don’t want anything fancy, only something gracious, simple, and cozy.”
Mother’s eyes began to shoot out daggers. “No, Meng Ning, listen to me. You’re going to have a big, fancy wedding. And you’d better get that French classical court-style wedding gown worn by Sally Yeh we saw the other day.”
We kept arguing until finally I blurted out, “Ma, it’s my wedding, not yours, so can’t you just let me decide what to wear?”
Mother shut up right away. Suddenly I realized the reason she wanted something fancy was not for me, but for herself.
Feeling terribly guilty, I refreshed her tea. “Ma, I’m very sorry.”
There was a long silence before she said, “I forgive you.” She drained her tea to acknowledge my apology. “All right, now let’s pick the day.”
After Mother had consulted the four almanacs for quite some time, with a thick felt pen she circled the auspicious day on each of them as well as on the calendar propped up by the radio.
“But, Ma, it’s too close. I don’t think we have enough time to prepare.”
Mother looked at me sharply. “This is the best day. Otherwise you have to wait a long time. Silly girl. Quick battle, quick victory. So never make a man wait till he changes his mind-you understand?” Then she squinted at me. “And don’t ever discard ancient wisdom like you do old calendars.”
I knew she said this because in the past, whenever she’d looked up the Tong Sheng, I’d sneer. “Ma, the only way to a sure win, according to ancient Daoist wisdom, is by losing. Less is more; we lose in order to win.”
She’d shut me up by saying, “Tst, tst, lose to win? What kind of crazy logic is this? You lose your mind to win your mother’s argument just to make her lose face?”
But now I felt happy to pick my wedding date as recommended by the Sure Win, for, like my mother, I couldn’t afford to be careless, not at thirty, and not for such a big thing in my life.
I wanted to steer my marriage ship with Michael safely for ten thousand years.
“Excellent,” Mother said. “This is the best day to get married, and you’ll have a good, happy, and long-lasting marriage. With five almanacs arriving at the same lucky day, believe me, Meng Ning, there won’t be any chance for mistakes.” She cautiously sipped her imperial tea with a matching imposing air before she continued. “You see, Meng Ning, I really don’t understand how some people are so foolish as to pick their wedding date at random without consulting our ancestors’ wisdom.”
Instead of responding to her unique logic, I sucked hard at a piece of ginseng, relishing its stimulating flavor.
“But too bad-” Mother suddenly caught herself in midsentence.
“Too bad what?”
“No, nothing.”
“What is it, Ma?”
“Too bad-” she blurted out again, “that I didn’t need to look up the Tong Sheng for my wedding, for…I didn’t have one.”
“Ma, I’m sorry.”
A beat or two passed before she suddenly asked, changing the subject, “You remember No Name who became a nun?”
“Of course, Ma. What about her?”
“She did have a name.”
“That’s not surprising; what was it?”
“Li Yuan.”
“Be
autiful Cloud?”
“Yes.” Mother’s eyes darted around as she went on. “Besides, I’ve been lying to you…she was not the daughter of your great-great-grandfather.”
“What do you mean?” My heart raced. “Then who is she? And…Ma, why are you suddenly telling me this?”
“Because-”
“Because what?”
Mother sighed. “Because since you’re getting married, I’m obliged to make some confessions before you become someone else’s wife and daughter.”
Before I had a chance to tell her that she didn’t have to worry that I’d be someone else’s daughter because Michael was an orphan, she had already spat out, “No Name, or Beautiful Cloud, or whatever, was your father’s fiancée.”
“You mean the one for whom Baba was buying gold for their upcoming wedding in Grandma’s gold store-where he ran into you after you two had lost contact for eight years?”
“Yes. It’s sad that she ended up being a nun, but not my fault.”
“You mean it’s Baba’s fault?”
“No, not his neither.” Mother rolled her eyes. “It’s Beautiful Cloud’s.”
“How?”
“Simple.” She shrugged. “She was not attractive enough to charm your father, but I did, even when I was only nine.”
I almost chuckled.
Mother ignored me. “But later when I lost my charms, then your father let himself be charmed by other more beautiful clouds.”
I didn’t respond, for that was not news to me. All those women at the gambling houses in Hong Kong and Macao, they weren’t just playing cards with Father, were they?
Mother swallowed her egg tart. “So I also cheated on him.”
I almost spilled my tea and fell off the sofa. “Ma, do you know what you’re talking about?”
“Of course.” She paused, then said, “You remember your little brother?”
“Of course.”
“He’s…only your half brother.”
“What?!”
“His real father is a gweilo.” Foreign devil. Barbarian.
“A gweilo? Ma, how could you! What are you talking about?” Now I felt myself not only plunge down a deep valley, but dash into pieces at the bottom, my brain spilled all over.
“Calm down, Meng Ning,” Mother said. “Why not? Aren’t you now marrying a gweilo yourself?”
I was speechless.
She made a face. “Don’t panic, Meng Ning, it was nothing serious; just…one night…no, two…hmm…actually, maybe it was three-nights stand.”
“Ma, are you sure you know what you’re talking about?” My voice remained in the high register.
“Why does a daughter always sound so suspicious when her mother is telling her the truth?”
“Then tell me, who is this gweilo-an American?”
“Yes. He was an ambassador in the American Consulate-”
“An ambassador? Oh no, not possible!”
“If my daughter can charm a doctor, how come her mother’s not good enough to attract an ambassador?”
“Ma…” My voice now sounded defeated. “All right, how did you meet?”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Can you just let me finish in peace?”
Mother sipped more tea, popped several shrimp chips into her mouth, and chewed noisily. “It was the year of the dog, when we lived in Wanchai. One late afternoon I went to the market to shop for food. Besides some meat and vegetables, I also bought two live chicks. I wanted to raise them to cook for the Chinese New Year, which was coming in three months. You know, it’s much cheaper that way than if you buy them during the New Year. Your father, as usual, was not at home, probably in Macao gambling his ass off. I was walking along the pier and thinking about his gambling until I started to cry. Damn the year of the dog that made me work like a dog. I kept cursing and spitting into the angry waves below the pier. Since I was not paying attention, I bumped into a lamppost and fell. The vegetables and meat spilled all over the ground and all the chicks ran loose. I was busy getting up and then trying to catch them. Several Chinese gathered to watch, but no one helped. Then this gweilo-by the way, his name is Jim Si-”
“You mean James? James what?”
“How am I supposed to remember? It’s been such a long time. Anyway, no Chinese can pronounce that last name, it’s too crazy. And anyway, Jim Si put down his expensive-looking briefcase and helped me up; then in his expensive-looking suit he chased after the chicks and finally got them back for me, then…then-”
“Then what?”
“Then you know what.” Mother’s eyes suddenly went blank.
“You mean you did that thing with him, just like that? But where could it have happened?”
“In our apartment-where else could it have been?” Mother looked me in the eyes for moments without blinking. “It’s just a few blocks from the market-”
“That…quickly? Ma, you hardly knew him!” I was yelling again.
Mother ignored my shock and went on, her expression turning tender. “Jim Si deeply moved my heart. He acted so gentlemanly, helping up a poor woman and chasing around for those filthy, fifty-cent chicks in his expensive suit in front of the Chinese onlookers. Since I couldn’t afford to buy him a gift to show my gratitude, I thought I could at least offer him a cup of tea to show my appreciation. That was why I invited him to our house, not only for a cup of tea, but also to wash his hands and clean his clothes. After that, he came for one more cup of tea, and I went to his office for a cup of coffee and that was that.”
“You mean you went to the American Consulate in Garden Road in Central?!”
Mother proudly nodded. “Very classy office, clean, painted all white with lots of sun and air and plants.”
“And where did you…” I felt too embarrassed to finish my sentence.
So Mother finished it for me. “Meng Ning, silly girl, you’re a painter, right? So you must know there’re different angles to paint an object. So, by the same logic…there’s also more than one way to-” She gulped down her tea and made a face. “To do you-know-what.”
“Then what happened to him after that?”
“He said the consulate had to transfer him back to America. But of course he lied, for I saw him twice, by accident, several months after, with other women. When I tried to accost him, he pretended not to recognize me.”
“I’m sorry…Where was I when all this happened?”
“At school, where do you think you’d be? You went to afternoon school, remember? It was cheaper.”
“So he’s…little brother’s father?”
Mother shrugged.
“Ma! What do you mean? Yes or no?”
Mother nodded.
“Did you tell him that?”
“No chance. I tried to, but never made it. The guard by the consulate’s entrance never let me in.”
“Did Baba know about this?”
“I don’t know-maybe yes, maybe no. Of course I didn’t have the chance to tell him either.”
“But couldn’t he tell the baby was Eurasian?”
“Possibly, but not necessarily. Your little brother was only three days old when he died. How can one tell with a three-day-old?”
I suspected that Father had known, at least sort of. Otherwise how could he have taken little brother’s death so lightly? I’d never considered that little brother’s death, instead of a punishment for her love with Father, as I’d always guessed, was in fact the karma for her love with a gweilo.
Mother sighed. “Hai! Meng Ning, you understand now why your marrying a gweilo worries me?”
I didn’t respond. A meditative silence, then she asked, tentatively, “Meng Ning, do you…despise your mother now?”
In fact, I didn’t, not at all. Strangely enough, after I’d learned the secret, I even felt happy for Mother. Now at least her life didn’t seem that miserable after all. She’d had some fun. Besides, I also admired her. This took courage, didn’t it? Especially when it happened almost twenty year
s ago when Hong Kong people were very closed-minded and any contact with gweilos was considered wicked.
I patted her hand. “Ma, I’m sorry…”
To my utter surprise, Mother said, looking almost cheerful, “But I’m not.”
“Because you loved this James?”
“No, because…I had a good time.”
Another silence, then I said, “Ma, I’ve always thought Baba was your first and only love.”
Again, she surprised me. “He still is. Jim Si was only a small American adventure.”
I put my arm around her. “You know what? When I said sorry, actually I didn’t mean it. In fact, I feel happy for you. And…”
Just then I remembered something. I dashed into the bedroom, snatched out the jade bracelet from my handbag, then hurried back to Mother.
“Ma, I hope this will make you more happy.” I felt choked with emotion as I handed her the bracelet.
“Meng Ning, where did you get it?” Mother scrutinized the jade, looking both surprised and pleased.
I told her it was a gift from Michael.
Mother caressed it with her plump, callused hands.
“What do you think? You like it?”
“It’s a decent piece. But I think Grandma’s one was better, greener and more translucent.”
“Ma, try it on.”
“But it’s yours.”
“No, it’s too loose for me. So it’s now for you.”
But the bracelet refused to slip onto her wrist-it was too small.
Simultaneously we sighed.
“I’m sorry,” I said, now feeling completely drained.
Mother looked at me affectionately. “Meng Ning, you’re such a lucky girl. This Mic Ko, you’d better be nice to him and treasure him as Grandma treasured her jade bracelet.”
“You’re not worried anymore?”
“Ah, Meng Ning, silly girl. Look at all this Mic Ko has done for you, even before you’re married to him. Grandma was right, she could see that you’d fall in love with a nice man, marry, have many children and a good life.” The corners of her lips curled into a mischievous smile. “Besides, you’ve been worrying about money and haven’t found a job yet, and Hong Kong will soon go back to China, so it’s good that this Mic Ko comes along now, not to mention he’ll give you free medical care!”