by M. J. Haag
His growl grew louder as he crept closer, and his breath skimmed my back. Tennen, the bastard, had ripped my shirt with his vicious swing.
Something warm and wet touched my abraded skin, eliciting an involuntary hiss from my lips and a quick step forward. The growl intensified, and I froze. Had the beast just licked me?
In all of the stories told of the estate, I’d never heard any where the beast devoured trespassers. Fear of just that locked me in place, and he stepped forward and repeated his stroke. The slow drag of his tongue hurt as much as it soothed.
Several times, he covered the area from mid-back to left shoulder. The fabric of my shirt ripped further as he forced it aside with his face. I didn’t move or make any further sound. With each stroke of his tongue, the pain of the scratch faded as did the throb in my shoulder where the stone had hit.
One moment he licked my skin and the next I sailed through the air, somersaulting only to land gently in a pile of hay. Coughing at the plume of dust my landing had stirred, I waved my hand in front of my face and looked at the empty place just inside the gate.
For whatever reason, the beast had spared me.
* * * *
Bryn gasped when I walked through the door. I knew I looked a mess but thought the gasp a bit of an overreaction. She hadn’t even seen the back of me, yet. Blye, hearing our sister, stepped out from our room just as Bryn asked what had happened to me. Knowing Bryn wouldn’t want to hear of Tennen’s attack, I opened my mouth, ready to tell her that I had run into a branch. But, Father stepped out of his study. I snapped my mouth closed.
At that moment, I loved and hated my family because of the tangled web of lies that held my tongue. Bryn hoarded Father’s coin in hopes of attracting Tennen’s “wealthy” hand, Blye hoarded coin to run away to a town with more prospects, and I had no doubt our intelligent Father knew of both their activities but said nothing because he was content in this poor village. All of which put pressure on me to scrounge the countryside for food and trade with that pig of a baker.
I refused to add to the lies. My anger couldn’t last, though, as I watched my father’s eyes soften. They were my family, all that I had.
“Well, Bini?” Father asked. “What happened to you, dear?”
“I’d rather not talk about it,” I said sullenly.
“Come into my study.”
Without a choice, I followed him and listened to another gasp as my sisters saw the damage to my coarse cotton shirt. I’d be forced to wear my dress tomorrow, and that annoyed me.
Father held the door for me and shut it with a soft click after I entered. I stood facing his desk while he circled around me, clucking his tongue. Behind me, he lightly touched my back where Tennen’s branch had ripped into my skin.
“Looks like something scraped you, hard. Luckily, it didn’t break the skin. A branch, perhaps?”
He circled around me once more to sit in his chair, studying me as he moved. I kept my face relaxed, even though I fought a growing tension. The branch had cut me, I knew it had, but somehow father only saw a scrape. The only explanation I could form was the beast’s tongue. Had he really healed me? If so, to what purpose? And why throw me into the hay on my second trespass? Everyone knew that being caught a second time meant some kind of injury.
“Tennen swung a branch at me, and Splane threw a rock while I was setting traps near the estate,” I said, speaking the truth.
“Why would Tennen do such a thing? I thought he liked your sister.”
I snorted softly before I could stop myself and glanced at the door. Father rose quietly and peered out the door. I caught a glimpse of Blye’s skirt as she turned the corner to our room.
He shut the door and raised a brow at me, encouraging me to speak.
“I saw something I wish I wouldn’t have. The baker is trading for bread, but has no interest in produce. He...wanted something from Sara.” A flush crept into my cheeks, and I couldn’t say more.
“I see,” my father murmured in surprise. “And Tennen?”
“When I fled from the baker’s alley, Tennen and Splane were there, waiting for Sara. They knew I saw something I shouldn’t have, and they have been making my life difficult since. They said I think I’m better than them.” I met my father’s eyes earnestly. “I’ve never knowingly given them cause to think that. We’re just as poor as the rest thanks to Bryn’s stealing and Blye’s hoarding.”
He didn’t act surprised by what I said. Instead, he seemed saddened, and I knew then that I had been right. Father was aware of both my sisters’ activities.
“I’m sorry you are the one to suffer for our failings. I can begrudge neither Blye keeping the coin that she works so hard to earn, nor Bryn the coin she sets aside since she keeps my house. I only regret there is nothing I can give you for your care of us.”
He looked away to stare out the window for several long moments while I squirmed under my guilt for thinking poorly of him. Of course, he knew what went on in his house. I should have trusted he had a reason to allow it.
“Perhaps there is something I can do for you, now,” he said. “Blye. Bryn,” he called loudly, startling me. He never raised his voice.
The door opened moments later, and they crowded into the study with us. I wondered how much my sisters had heard.
“Bryn, your sister has suffered some injuries that require a hot soak. I know it is an effort, but—”
Bryn waved away the rest of what he would say.
“I’ll ready a bath for her.” She turned and left.
“Blye, your sister has so little in the way of clothes and cannot afford to lose a shirt. Can you mend it?”
Blye stepped behind me, tisking. “I could, but she’ll look like a beggar. Better to take the shirt apart and use some of my spare cloth for a new back panel.”
“How long will that take?” Father asked.
“I should have it done tomorrow evening.”
He thanked her and waved her away before turning back to me.
“Go clean up and let your sister have your shirt. Tomorrow you’ll have to suffer your dress.” He gave me a small grin, knowing I preferred my trousers. “The day after, I will have an errand for you, so do not make any plans for that day.” He stood and planted a kiss atop my head.
Knowing I was dismissed, I stood and left his study to find a waiting Blye. She didn’t look angry, so I didn’t think she’d heard the part about her hoarding her coin.
“Bryn’s heating water in the kitchen. Could I have your shirt? I’d like to wash it before working with it.”
I didn’t blame her for wanting it clean. Tracked with dirt and beast spit, it didn’t look pleasant. Since Father stayed in his study to assure privacy our small cottage lacked when any of us bathed, I quickly shrugged out of the shirt and torn bindings and handed everything over to her. She walked through the kitchen and out the back door to the well. Naked from the waist up, I covered myself with my arms and went to the kitchen.
The skin of my back felt tight, and my shoulder still ached a bit when I stretched it forward. The beast had healed me but not completely. As I sat on a chair and waited, I wondered again the reason behind his mercy. Thinking of the puzzling beast was much more pleasant than the baker’s depravity or my sisters’ deceit. Yet, my thoughts tended to wander in their direction.
Bryn had the fire stoked to heat the water, so I was comfortable while she sweated. A while later, she pronounced the tub ready and moved the bathing screen in front of it before stepping outside to cool herself.
I stripped down and slid into the water with a contented sigh, putting thoughts of the baker, the beast, village boys, and family lies from my head.
Three
In the morning, I was last from bed, not wanting my sisters around when I dressed. Blye had thoughtfully hung my dress the night before so the wrinkles from storage would fall out on their own.
The dress was a gift from Blye and my father for my birthday more than six months ago. Father had
supplied the material, and Blye had worked on it for weeks, making me stand for several painfully boring fittings. I typically only wore it on washdays and then hid in the cottage with it. Blye usually laughed at me.
Light blue with a full skirt edged with a white ruffle, topped with a square-necked, long-sleeved bodice, it truly was a thing of beauty, but I looked so different in it. I didn’t think it made me look awful, just overly feminine. Secretly, I was concerned with the responsibilities wearing such a dress might bring. With my britches, most people let me go my way. Sighing, I stood and slipped the pretty dress over my head, not bothering with any bindings.
Medium height with my mother’s dark sable hair and hazel eyes and my father’s slim build, I looked a gangly youth in my britches and shirt. Now, the dress removed the gangle and turned me into a slender young woman. I knew that was what I was, but I didn’t like it. The dress also shoved my small breasts high as if I wanted to put them on display, like produce at a market. The errant thought of selling them led to thoughts of Sara and the baker, and I decided that hiding in my room all day really was the best option.
A knock sounded on my bedroom door as I nervously smoothed my hands over the skirt. Only Father knocked, so I called for him to enter.
“You look lovely, Bini,” he said with a caring smile. “I know you would prefer to stay inside, but would you walk with Bryn to the candle maker? I need another candle.”
Father read by the light of the fire in his study most nights, but needed the candle for any writing he might do at his desk.
I nodded my assent and accepted the copper he handed me.
“Get the best you can with that.” We both knew it wouldn’t be much, but neither of us spoke it, just as I didn’t question why Bryn couldn’t go alone.
The candle maker had taken a dislike to Bryn a few years before. She’d gone to purchase candles from him, and the encounter had gone badly. He’d set his price and wouldn’t come down from it. She’d called him a miserly old man, which he was, but he was also nice and didn’t like being called names. Regardless, she’d only gotten angry because she was a miserly young woman trying to pinch a copper whenever she could for her own selfish purpose. I didn’t see how she could fault the candle maker for doing the same.
At least, by having Bryn accompany me, Father had given me the safety I needed to go about in my confounded dress. If I met up with Tennen and Splane alone while wearing it, I’d never stand a chance at outrunning them.
After lacing up my sturdy boots hidden beneath my skirts, I straightened my shoulders and headed to the kitchen. Bryn waited by the door and wore her best dress. She’d been blessed with Father’s fair hair and pale eyes and our mother’s curvy figure. Seeing her, I shored my resolve to ignore the stares the pair of us would receive. I knew everyone would compare us and didn’t want to contemplate who would come ahead in the comparison.
“I think you’ve grown, Benella,” Bryn commented, eyeing me dispassionately.
I quickly looked down at my skirts, which still hovered an inch above the floor.
“Not in height,” she laughed as she turned away to open the door.
Refusing to think on her comment, I followed her out into the sunlight, feeling awkward as the skirts brushed against my bare legs. I didn’t own any stockings, just socks and boots fit for a young boy.
“I hope Father gave you coin. I have none to spare for the candle maker,” she said as I closed the door and rushed to catch up with her.
“Not enough, but the candle maker is nice, so I’m sure we can come to an agreement.”
Bryn had no reply.
We walked the rest of the way to town, each lost in our own thoughts, mine mostly fervent wishes not to run into Tennen with Bryn at my side. My wishes didn’t go unheard. The anvil laid quiet and the billows lax when we left the path for the main road. Relieved, I crossed the street and entered the candle maker’s home. The soft chime of the bell attached to the door greeted me.
“Benella!” the candle maker exclaimed, welcoming me with a smile.
Sitting at a table near his hearth, he removed a line of strings from a pot of melted wax and set it on the holder to the side. He had once explained that his candles were the best around because he took care to ensure the candles stood straight the entire time, thus burned their wax evenly.
“What brings you in today?” he asked, standing. His bones creaked and cracked with the effort, but I didn’t try to insist that he sit for our discussion. He held a firm belief that he honored his customers by standing to wait on them. His gnarled hand patted down his wispy white hair as he slowly straightened his frame.
I held out the copper.
“Father sent me for a candle. I know you offer nothing but the finest, but he’d like something modest if possible.”
“Benella, your honeyed words are a trap for an unwary man, to be sure.” He grinned at me, laughing and mumbling “nothing but the finest” under his breath. He didn’t take the proffered coin, rather he walked to the shelves and rummaged through the pale candles for a moment before pulling out a thick one with a satisfied sigh. A blackened wick poked from one melted end.
“This is one I made for myself,” he said, handing it to me. “A gift for the flowers, until I can pay you properly. Tell your father it will burn at least ten hours if he trims it.”
I nodded my thanks, accepted the candle, and curled my fingers around the copper.
As I left, I debated about the coin. If I gave it to Father, he’d most likely give it to Bryn for supplies, which we wouldn’t see. But, with Bryn at my side and a copper in hand, I could go to the bakery, avoid the baker, and buy some flour. After all, a copper wasn’t enough to buy a loaf of bread these days.
Bryn waited for me outside. I handed her the candle, and she placed it in her bag without comment.
“I’d like to go to the bakery and see how much flour I can purchase,” I said, stopping her when she would have turned home. She raised her brows at me, no doubt surprised by my willingness to linger in town when wearing a dress, and followed me without comment.
The door to the bakery stood propped open and waves of heat rolled out. No one lingered within to trade gossip today. I stepped onto the porch and quickly ducked inside the store. Miss Medunge sat on a stool behind a counter lined with a narrow variety of fresh bread. She smiled at me and waved me in.
“The bread’s been picked over already. This is what’s left until dinner,” she said, pointing to the loaves.
“I’m interested in purchasing flour, however much a copper will get me,” I said, setting the coin on the counter. I could almost taste the biscuits I imagined Bryn would make.
She pursed her lips in thought. “Just under two handfuls, I think. Do you have a bit of cloth for it?”
I cringed. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
“Don’t worry. I can loan that if you promise to bring it back.”
Nodding my promise, I watched her go through the door to the bakery. The aroma of fresh bread made my mouth water as I waited. When the door swung open, I looked up expecting her smiling face but, instead, met the eyes of the baker. In his hand, he held a small bundle of cloth tied with a bit of string.
“Benella, I couldn’t believe it when my sister told me you were here to buy flour,” he said while his eyes wandered over me, mostly lingering on the exposed skin of my neck and chest. “And so prettily attired. I didn’t know you owned a dress.”
I didn’t care for his tone.
“Here is the copper,” I said, scooting it across the counter with one finger.
He smirked at me and held out the flour, waiting until I reached for it to grab my fingers with his other hand. He petted them with his own sweaty digits.
“Perhaps, I will see you later,” he whispered, setting the flour bag in my palm.
I said nothing, staring at him while maintaining a straight face. Eventually, he released my hand, and I turned and slowly made my exit. Sweat beaded on my upper lip
when I stepped out into the cool air, but my fate didn’t turn any better. Tennen stood near Bryn, and they spoke quietly. When he heard me, he looked up with a gleam in his eyes.
“Needed to see the baker?” he asked with a laugh.
Bryn, not liking that I’d immediately stolen his attention, pouted prettily, but he ignored her.
“Yes. We had a spare copper and needed flour.”
A blaze of anger lit in his eyes, and he took a step toward me. Bryn stopped him with a simpering hand on his arm.
“Tennen, our walk?”
He looked down at her, and for a moment, I saw his disdain. Then, his face cleared, and a smile curved his lips.
“Of course.” He took her by the arm and led her up the road toward our house. I followed with my flour protected in my hands.
When we reached the cottage, Tennen bowed his farewell and left without looking at me again. Bryn walked inside as if nothing had happened. I handed her the flour and fled to Father’s study, content to read until he returned home.
Hours melted away while I devoured the words on the pages. I’d stopped attending school years ago when I’d quietly corrected Father after class, regarding one of the mathematical concepts he’d been teaching. Since then, he let me use his study whenever he wasn’t home. I remembered most everything I read that interested me, and many things did. The botany book he’d used to identify the primrose captivated me until he strode through his study door.
“What a lovely sight. A pretty girl reading a book,” he said. Neither of my sisters showed much interest in books, but he didn’t fault them for it.
I placed a marker in the book and set it to the side. “I’ve warmed your chair for you,” I said cheekily.
He laughed and shooed me from the room, settling comfortably into his chair. I passed the room I shared with my sisters and saw Blye sitting on the bed, placing careful stitches into my shirt. The back panel didn’t look new, just smaller. I didn’t pause, not wanting to know what she had to do to fix it, and made my way to the kitchen. Bryn had the biscuits in the oven with the door slightly ajar so she could watch them brown. A knock sounded at the front door, and we stared at each other for a moment before she waved for me to answer it. I wished for my trousers as I pulled open the door.