“Doc, that makes so much sense, I think you’re right. Erm, I actually haven’t struggled to get to sleep. But, well, now I have a slight build-up of anxiety when it comes to going to sleep. It’s draining me.”
“Ah, I see. Okay, so we have two options, well, actually three options: you can wait and I will refer you to the sleep disorder clinic, I can prescribe you some sleeping tablets to try and help you relax, which will hopefully settle your unconscious mind, or we can send you away with nothing and I will monitor you, on an as-required basis. Which would you prefer?”
Matthew thinks about this for a second; he’s not big on the whole taking medication hype, but nonetheless he gives in. He’s so exhausted and truly can’t function while sleep deprived.
“I’ll take the tablets, please.”
“Do you have any allergies to medication?”
“None that I know of.”
The doctor types away. “Okay, so, Matthew, what I’m going to prescribe you is ten milligrams of temazepam for seven to ten days. You’ll take one each night about an hour before you wish to go to sleep. They work extremely fast, so under no circumstances should you take them when driving, operating any heavy machinery or planning to cook a meal, and so on. The tablets can be addictive, so your course is seven to ten days only. I’m hoping this helps your mind learn to relax again, just whilst you’re beginning to process living this new chapter of your life. Honestly, Matthew, it’s quite normal. I’m not concerned, nor should you be.”
“I know. I just suppose I never thought my life would come to this. I thought I would have my wife forever.”
Dr Rushmore glances at the clock then hands Matthew the prescription. “Just so you know, the side effects are drowsiness, tiredness, nausea, anxiety and headaches. It’s extremely rare, but if for any reason you experience severe changes to your body, such as blurred vision, irregular heartbeat, stomach cramps, or if the nightmares continue, stop taking the tablets immediately and come back to see me. It’s all explained in the leaflet you’ll receive. We’re open Monday through to Saturday and I’m here every day. I’m going to book you an appointment for around ten days’ time.”
Matthew places the prescription in his pocket and shakes Dr Rushmore’s hand. “Honestly, doc, thank you, I thought you were going to have me sectioned.”
Dr Rushmore smiles. “Matthew, you’re fine. It’s a very traumatic experience, what you’ve had to cope with. Not only losing your wife, but becoming a single father is a big change. I’d expect you to go through these processes. After all, we’re only human.”
Leaving the surgery, Matthew’s feeling slightly more at ease about his current situation.
Matthew pulls into the garage and sits alone with his thoughts for a moment, attempting to process the doctor’s words and comprehend the reality of his current situation. He glances at the paper bag from the chemist resting on the seat next to him. Reaching across, he pulls the contents out of the bag. He reads the details on the box of medication and, upon seeing his name, Matthew suddenly feels an intense sense of inner sadness and devastation.
“So, this is what it’s come to.”
The surge of sadness is too much for him to bear. Dropping the bag on his lap, he cups his head with his hands and breaks down. He lets go of the internal strength he’s built, he can’t hold it in any longer. Gently sobbing, he sees images in his mind of his wife, his best friend, his Lauren. Being brave is a speciality of his, but the reality of starting this new chapter without her is beginning to process in his mind, and the pain, like a huge electric bolt of lightning, travels directly to his heart. He is apprehensive and unsure of what the right, or wrong, thing to do is. Regaining control of himself to a degree, Matthew wipes his face and checks in the rear-view mirror to ensure that his minor outburst isn’t visible. He goes inside. The house is completely silent.
“Eve… Jess?” He gets no reply.
As he makes his way towards the kitchen, he looks at the entry table next to the door. Matthew shakes his head in disbelief, trying not to freak himself out. As the doctor’s words circulate in his mind, he desperately attempts to reassure himself that it’s all in his head.
“There’s surely a logical explanation. It’s fine. Don’t freak out. Whatever you do, Matthew, just don’t freak out.”
The reality, unfortunately, is right before his eyes. The golden picture frame has gone. It’s disappeared. Trying to soothe his mind and comfort himself, he begins speaking out loud: “It’s okay, just keep breathing. It’s all going to be okay.”
Attempting to retrace his footsteps from this morning, he struggles. He was so embarrassed, in a rush to get out of the house after the words he so thoughtlessly blurted out to Jess, that he didn’t even think to look at the table. Entering the kitchen, he quickly pours himself a glass of wine. Matthew doesn’t acknowledge, or care, that it’s only slightly past midday as he guzzles a mouthful. He urgently needs this cold alcoholic beverage. Regaining control of his thoughts, Matthew takes his phone out of his inside pocket and rings Eve. It goes to voicemail.
“Yeah, it’s Eve, leave a message, or don’t, not really bothered.”
Beep.
“Eve, it’s Dad. I’ve just got back to the house. Can you let me know where you are, please? I love you, darling.”
Matthew hangs up and tries to ring Jess. But her phone also goes straight to voicemail.
“Your call has been forwarded. Please leave a message after the tone.”
Beep.
“Hi, Jess, it’s Matthew. Listen, I hope what I said this morning hasn’t freaked you out. If it has, then I just want to say that I’m sorry. It’s all new to me. Take care, special one.”
He puts the phone back into his jacket pocket and grabs his wine, along with the bag containing the medication, and makes his way upstairs. As he stands in the doorway of his bedroom his mind decides to be unkind. No sooner has he placed one foot inside than he experiences a sudden and intense flashback from this morning’s events. The steam circulating around them both, looking deep into her eyes, feeling the connection of bodily fluids as they intertwine with one another… Matthew hears the words he spoke: “I think I love you.”
With a knot building in his stomach, and a wrench in his heart, Matthew shakes the image out of his sight. His face full of guilt, he breathes in deep. In one great big gulp, Matthew throws the wine to the back of his throat. Walking over to his bed, he places the bag from the chemist and the now empty wine glass on the bedside table. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he reaches for the silver cross and chain. As he’s admiring the piece for its beauty and the memories it holds, Matthew slowly looks up. He smiles with his mouth but his eyes remain heavy as he desperately tries to regain control of not only himself, but his emotions. He embraces the moment, the peace, the tranquillity, the gentle vibrational energy as the memories flash in his mind. This stunning and pure piece of jewellery is more than just an object or a possession; it has meaning, it carries love.
As his attention drifts, suddenly it clicks: the cameras! Placing the cross on the side, Matthew rushes out of the room and makes his way to his home office. Unable to comprehend why he didn’t think of this before, Matthew’s practically running up the stairs to the second floor when he gets a strong sense that he’s being followed. He isn’t alone. The house is empty, and yet Matthew feels a huge presence behind him. Standing still, hearing the sound of his breath leaving his body, Matthew hesitantly says, “Eve?”
There is no response, and he shakes his head and continues with his mission, desperately attempting to ignore the anxiety building in his mind. But again, he can’t help it. He feels as if someone’s run up behind him and is now standing over his shoulder and staring intently at his face. He’s too scared to turn around. Not only is his mind feeling this presence; his body feels it too as a huge gust of wind forcefully blows past him. It’s freezing cold and carries a
strong stench of death. He shudders. The hairs on his body stand to attention and the stench irritates his nostrils, travelling to the back of his throat and making him nauseous. The hallway becomes dark and remains cold and he can see the breath leaving his body. Matthew’s eyes remain wide open and all his senses are heightened. Feeling as though he’s being accompanied by entities unknown, and not the friendly kind, he slowly turns around… and sees there’s no one there.
Slightly relieved at the confirmation that his imagination is once again running wild, Matthew lets out a big sigh. Not wanting to allow fear to take over, Matthew shrugs this off and heads to his office. But the eerie energy lingers, and he looks behind himself once more as he arrives at his office. There is nothing and no one.
Turning his attention back to the task at hand, he looks straight ahead and smiles. Proudly placed on the wall is the plaque Lauren made as a gentle reminder to them both of how it all began. When they originally decided to set up their own business and embark on this new adventure together, Lauren performed a grand unveiling of the plaque to mark this huge stepping stone in their life. There it is, shimmering away in all its glory, made with the brightest gold. It is the perfect addition to the mahogany door, along with the thoughtful personalised engraving on it:
Creation Station
The Honey Empire
♣♦M♦&♦L♦♣
Masterminds busy doing what they love
Matthew enters the office and sits at his desk. He puts his head in his hands, feeling exhausted, drained and confused. Even after Dr Rushmore’s diagnosis, he’s still saddened and unsure of the reasons why his mind is being so cruel. As he switches on the computer, his thoughts become overpowered by the unknown. He doesn’t have any answers and he’s apprehensive about the practicalities of looking for them. He’s unsure about what he may see on the footage, but Matthew knows that the cameras never lie, and this scares him more than anything. As he’s about to type in his password, suddenly his phone begins vibrating in his pocket. It’s a call from an unknown number.
“Hello, Matthew Honey speaking.”
“Hi, Mr Honey, how are you today sir?” says a voice with a slightly foreign accent.
“I’m fine, thank you. Sorry, I’m a little bit busy right now. Can I help you with anything at all?”
“Yes, certainly sir, I am Rahul calling in relation to your broadbanding there. Can I ask, Mr Honey, who is your current using provider?”
Matthew rolls his eyes. “Hi, Rahul, thanks for your call but I’m actually fine as I am. Thank you for checking, though.”
“That is great news what I am hearing sir, but did you know that actually we are the cheapest in the world? You are being the lucky one today, Mr Honey. I would like to be helping you to be getting these savings of money, yeah.”
“Look, I’m sorry, I don’t want to waste your time…” But before he can finish speaking Rahul hangs up. “Hello… As if… Bloody cold callers.”
He puts his phone on the side, and as he begins to type in his password it rings once again. This time it’s not Rahul. Matthew sees “Hades Account” flashing. With an air of urgency, he stands up as he answers the call. “Hello, Matthew Honey speaking.”
Matthew hears a familiar and somewhat eccentric voice at the other end of the phone. “Hi, Matthew, it’s Bill, Bill Hades. I’ve been trying to get hold of you.”
“Yeah, Bill, sorry about that, it’s been hectic recently.”
“So, I believe business is booming for both of us. Generate the wealth, ha-ha. Keep the pot growing, so to speak. These lavish luxuries and private jets won’t buy themselves. Ha-ha, aye, Matty boy.”
“Ha-ha, yeah, something like that, Bill.”
“Look, I wanted to arrange a meeting with you. We’re launching a new clothing brand globally and I need you to produce our adverts ASAP. I’m busy now but get that Danny of yours to call Vera and set up a meeting. I need this brand launching into the world urgently. As always, Matty, you’re the man for the job.”
“Yes, sure, don’t worry, Bill. I’ll get Daniel to set that up straightaway.”
The call ends and Matthew, with a sudden burst of excitement, steps away from his desk and heads out of his office. His mind’s swirling with elation, his sole focus the positive contribution life has just presented him with, and nothing more.
He makes his way back downstairs and enters the day room, stopping at the huge window and gazing out at the beauty of the beach. He’s taking in the moment, embracing his success. Matthew feels amazing. Aware that the meeting needs to be set up immediately, he rings the head office.
“Good afternoon, Honey Productions, it’s Daniel speaking.”
“Daniel, it’s Matthew.”
“Hey Matthew, I’ve just got an email from Vera, you know, Bill Hades’s PA. I was literally about to reply to her now.”
“That’s great. Daniel, do me a huge favour and fit them in as early as you can. I don’t care if it’s a weekday, or a weekend, this is urgent business. This job is massive, and you know what Bill’s like, he wants everything three weeks ago.”
“Yeah, of course, not to worry, I’ll get to it, like, now. Oh, who’s attending?”
“I presume the usual suspects, me, you, Christina, Bill and Vera. I think this one’s tight knit, so unless we’re told otherwise we’ll keep it small.”
“Okay, so you’d like me to liaise with Christina too, not a problemo, consider it done.”
“Oh, don’t forget to book the meeting room, and give the usual caterers a call once you’ve confirmed. Daniel, I’m counting on you, please do what you have to; just make this happen. The Hades Account is our biggest. And we’ve got the summer Honey P Party coming up, clay pigeon shooting and the ultimate barbeque. I promise to give you all extra clay to shoot at and prosecco on tap if we get this contract. How’s that sound?”
Daniel needs no further encouragement. “I’m on it, best service, biggest smiles and exquisite food. Are you coming into the office today?”
“I’ve got a few things to sort out, so probably not. Any problems, just call me. Oh, and as soon as you’ve sorted the appointment, send an email, copying all attendees in, and put it in mine and Christina’s diaries.”
“Sure, will do.”
“Thanks, Daniel.”
“You’re welcome, pleasure as always.”
As they end the call, Matthew puts his phone back into his pocket and immediately performs a victory dance. The Hades Account is worth a fortune and is one of Honey Productions’ main revenues of income.
Heading back into the kitchen on his new emotional high, Matthew pours himself a glass of wine; this time, it’s in celebration. Looking to the floor, he shakes his head in complete astonishment. What is happening? How has his life become this whirlwind rollercoaster ride? Unsure of the answer, as he places the almost-empty bottle back in the fridge.
He heads back upstairs to return to his previous task. Still on a high, he pays no attention to the eerie energy still present in the house. As he enters the office, he sits at his desk and, without any interruptions this time, successfully logs on to the computer. Stopping for a brief moment, Matthew once again feels slightly apprehensive of what he might uncover. He rests his elbows on the desk and considers the fact that what he could uncover could bring him down off his high. He places his palms together and crosses his fingers, as if he is praying. His thoughts a whirlwind, Matthew tries to process the pros and cons of viewing the footage from last night. Matthew strongly believes that if he at least watches the footage, and indeed sees nothing, which after his visit with Dr Rushmore he’s sure he won’t, then he’s certain he will no longer remain stuck questioning the unknown. Starting this new chapter is a huge step forward, and in order to complete this transition, he needs closure on the strange happenings of the night. With this his final thought, Matthew decides he’s going to watch the
footage.
Guiding the mouse, he clicks on the folder marked “CCTV Spy Cam”. Instantly a split screen appears, but wait – it’s black on both sides. It can’t be. Matthew’s confused. He searches every file on the computer to ensure it hasn’t been recording in a different format, but has no luck. He is unable to locate the footage from the cameras. Even the live footage that should be filming now. Standing up, he heads out of the office. He makes his way over to the camera on the edge of the picture frame facing Eve’s room and reaches up. Straightaway he sees the huge error he’s made. In his impulsive decision to use the cameras, and rushing, not wanting to get caught out, he forgot one important thing. Matthew forgot to turn the camera on. Walking into his bedroom, he does the same check, and no surprise, once again he sees the camera isn’t switched on. Feeling slightly insane, Matthew laughs to himself as he sits on his bed. Staring blankly, he’s unsure of how to feel.
He opens the drawer on the bedside table and pulls out a strip of tiny keychain-sized pictures. As he’s admiring the images he lies back on his pillow. The strip has multiple black and white photo-booth images on it showing a young Matthew and Lauren. These innocent images were taken the night he proposed to her. Lauren’s proudly waving her hand in the air, showing off her ring, which cost Matthew a tiny expense of twenty English pounds. Lauren’s unaware of the value and doesn’t care. All you can see in these tiny images is the true love and happiness that has been captured. Tears once again form in Matthew’s eyes as he relives the memory. As the teardrops fall, one after the other, onto the pillow, Matthew wipes his face. He places the strip back into the drawer, makes his way back into the office and switches off the computer. Grabbing his phone from his pocket, Matthew attempts to ring Eve.
The Broken Page 14