by A. Aubry
It wasn’t like I hadn’t tried to contact Jameson. I called him every night before my rom com sorrows were triggered. I texted him every morning wishing him a good day. Every call and message went unanswered. It was probably because I was starting to look desperate. Maybe I was just like all the other girls to him. He just wanted to make me feel like I was different. How could I have been so stupid?
Myra, one of the surgery receptionists that I worked with, walked in with a vase full of white carnations. They were pretty, but not my style at all.
“Hey Bri, these were delivered for you,” she said, bringing them over to the table where Ashley and I sat.
“Who in the world would sent me these? I’m not a carnations person at all,” I narrowed my eyes and stood up.
Plucking the card from the bouquet, I read aloud, “To let you know that I am thinking of you.”
“Does it say who they are from?” Ashley inquired as she stared at the flowers. They definitely weren’t her favorite either.
I shook my head, “No, it isn’t signed.”
She pursed her lips and looked at me, “Do you think they are from Jameson?”
I swallowed hard. A part of me wished that they were but the other half knew better than to get my hopes up, “I don’t think so. He knew I wasn’t really into carnations. He even brought me my favorite flowers that day after his tour.”
“Well whomever they are from, it is a sweet gesture…don’t you think?” Myra butted in.
Crumpling up the card, I tossed it into the trash before holding the bouquet out to Myra, “Would you like them?”
Her eyes went wide as she accepted the vase, “Wow, thanks Bri!”
She excitedly walked out of the room. Deciding I wasn’t hungry anymore, I tossed my salad into the garbage and washed my hands. I said goodbye to Ashley and went back to my station in surgery. There was no way that those were from Jameson. He wouldn’t send me flowers that I didn’t really like with an unsigned card over a text or a call to at least tell me that he was alright.
The hours flew by and I was finally off of work. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my job very much, but lately I was just so emotionally drained from what was going on with Jameson that I had to force myself to be my usual cheery self for the patients. Luckily, Gavin’s box of belongings was in the back of my car so that I didn’t have to stop home before going directly there. A quick drive into the outskirts of Chicago, which was a godsend because I didn’t want to be stuck in traffic more than I had to be, and I was at Gavin’s small townhouse that he owned. How could I ever picture myself living here with him and starting a family?
I got out of the car, my scrubs sticking to my skin in the humidity that was summer in Illinois. My back door opened with the same creak that it had had for years. I was currently saving up for a new car because I wasn’t sure how much longer my 1991 Toyota Camry would continue to hold on. I got the car as a hand me down from my parents when I turned sixteen and it still ran like a tank. Grabbing Gavin’s box out of the back of the car, I pushed the door closed with my hip and strode up to his front door. One quick click of the doorbell and I waited for Gavin to appear.
When he did, he was still in his suit from his workday at the office. It was a very ill-fitted suit at that. It didn’t fit him in the same way that Jameson’s suits fit him.
No. Don’t let your mind think about Jameson. It’s about time that you let him go.
“Hi Bri! Glad you could make it.”
What the hell?
“Uh, yeah. We decided on tonight for me to bring this stuff over.”
He moved out of the doorway and allowed me to step inside. The house still looked the same, the mother’s touch that was placed on it when Gavin first moved in and had his mother help him decorate and set it up. I found my mind slipping back to Jameson’s extravagant house. What I would give to be there once more.
“You look beautiful today,” Gavin offered as I set his box down on the foyer table.
My eyebrows furrowed as my head cocked to the side, “Gavin. I just worked a twelve-hour shift and I’m still in my work scrubs. There is no way that what you just said is anywhere near true. But thank you for trying.”
“I always thought you looked beautiful in your scrubs,” he offered.
I folded my arms protectively over my chest, “What the hell are you trying to get at here, Gavin?”
He took a small step closer, “I think that we are making a mistake breaking up. Now that you went off with your friends and got sex with other guys out of your head, we can move forward with our relationship. Did you get my flowers that I sent you this afternoon?”
“The carnations?” I asked, my breath getting caught in my throat.
“Yeah, those are your favorite,” he smiled excitedly.
“No, they aren’t. My favorite flowers are daisies. I can’t stand carnations.”
His smile fell, “Oh.”
“See, Gavin, this is why we shouldn’t be together. You didn’t listen to me whenever I talked and whatever connection we had in high school is gone. Yes, I had sex with another man while I was in California and it was the best sex I had ever had in my life. I can’t go back to mindless boring sex with you. So, in this box are all the things you had at my house including your house key that you gave me and the engagement ring. I’m sorry…but this is never going to happen again. Goodbye, Gavin.”
Without a second glance, I turned on my heel and left him standing there with his mouth agape. I could never get back with him after my time with Jameson. Even if Jameson didn’t want me, I knew that I didn’t want what I had with Gavin. My drive back to my apartment was short and I kept on with my usual call to Jameson, only for him to let it go to voicemail. That was then proceeded by me blowing my nose into tissues all night long as I watched other people fall in love and get their happily ever after’s.
Yet another week had passed and there was still no word from Jameson. The same eating disorder that I had developed when my biological father abandoned me lingered over my head after the abandonment that Jameson left me with. I played it off rather well when I was with Ashley or any of my other friends. But I hadn’t had a full meal in three weeks. If Jameson didn’t want me, then he could have told me, and I wouldn’t have let myself get close. But now, I felt like I wasn’t worthy of anything…even food.
“Briella, you have a call on line three,” Tina, the hospital’s main receptionist, said from the intercom on the phone that I sat in front of, tearing me from my negative thoughts.
I held down the button on the phone, “Thanks Tina.”
My hand shook, probably from lack of sugars in my system, as I picked up the phone and brought it my ear, “This is Briella.”
“Bri…” A soft but very familiar voice replied.
“Jameson?” My heart dropped into my stomach.
“Bri, god, I am so sorry,” his voice sounded much rougher than usual.
“It’s been three weeks, Jameson. You haven’t called or texted or returned any of my messages. I’ve called you every single night and texted you every single morning. What the fuck kind of asshole doesn’t reply?” My tears didn’t even threaten to tip over, they just full on rushed down my face.
“Briella…I’ve been in the hospital for the last three weeks.”
“I’m not buying that bullshit.” I tried to sound angry, but my voice was just laced with sadness.
“This isn’t bullshit. I was jumped when I was leaving the club on the second day that I was here. I’ve been in a coma. Apparently, it’s been on the news if you don’t believe me.” I heard him cough.
With the computer that sat in front of me, I pulled up the New York Times and searched for crimes that happened three weeks ago. Of course, there were a ton, but I finally did find the article. Club Owner Attacked After Night of Work. As I read the article, it said that Jameson was stabbed multiple times and had a lot of blood loss. The most recent update to the article said he was in stable condition but in a c
oma due to his injuries.
“Jay…I am so sorry I just exploded on you,” I sobbed.
“Bri, I understand. I would have been mad at me too.”
“When did you wake up?” I questioned, my fingers playing with the spiral phone cord in front of me.
“This morning. Zander is here and went and got a new phone for me the second I asked him to so that I could call you. The doctors wouldn’t let me make the phone call until they did a few checks and tests. But when I called, you weren’t answering, and I remembered that you said that you work at St. Mary’s hospital in Chicago. I got all your messages just a little while ago, Bri. I am so sorry.”
“I try not to carry my phone around with me when I’m going to be helping out in surgery prep which I will be any minute. Jay, it’s so amazing to hear your voice and to know that you are okay—I mean, now you are okay.” My hand rested on my chest and my eyes closed.
“I was about to call you when the attack happened. The phone was in my hand. If I could have found some way to let you know what happened…”
“Don’t worry about it. All that matters is that you are alive, and you are okay.”
“Will you come visit me? The doctors won’t discharge me for at least a few more days,” his voice sounded hopeful.
I looked at the schedule that we had posted on the board behind me. Technically, I wasn’t scheduled for the next three days. My manager told me that I looked like I needed a long weekend of rest and relaxation, so she had given me an extended weekend. Getting a cheap flight to New York, on the other hand, wouldn’t be as easy as it sounded.
“I would love to come visit you. But, I don’t think I have the money to pay for a last-minute flight.”
“When are you done with work today?” His question was immediate.
“Um, I’m done here at three. Why?”
“Go home and pack after work. I’ll buy your ticket for you and text you the details. My driver, Antonio, will pick you up at the airport so that you don’t have to worry about transportation.”
“Jay, that is way too much,” I argued.
“I’ve spent the last three weeks in a coma, Bri. I am willing to spend any amount of money that I have just to be with you again.”
My mouth opened and closed several times, I probably looked like a fish out of water.
“Bri?”
“Yeah, I’m still here. If that is what you want, then I won’t argue.”
“Great, I’ll see you tonight.”
I smiled, a genuine smile, for the first time in three weeks, “See you tonight.”
Hanging up the phone, I let a little squeal out to myself. One of the registered nurses called out to me and signaled for me to come into OR-1. With a little pep in my step, I went into the room and went about my job. One of the nurses even asked me if I was feeling okay because of my complete change in demeanor. I was feeling amazing and it was all because I finally talked to the man that had obviously stolen my heart.
“Here you are, Miss Rogers. Mr. Barnes is in room 304,” Antonio informed me as he held open the back door to the luxury car for me.
“Thank you, Antonio, for doing this on such short notice.” I watched as he closed my door and grabbed my bag out of the trunk before handing it off to me.
“It is no problem at all. Mr. Barnes is a great man and a great boss. Anything he asks, I would do.”
I smiled wide and hugged Antonio before I could talk myself out of it, “Thank you again.”
He returned my hug before letting me turn and head into the hospital. Following the signs as best as I could, I finally ended up in front of room 304. I took a deep breath and opened the oversized door. The soft sound of the television along with Jameson and Zander’s laugh greeted me. I pushed aside the privacy curtain a bit and stepped into the room.
Jameson’s head whipped in my direction and I had never been so thankful to see someone’s face as I was at that very moment, “Bri! You finally made it!”
I dropped my bag and rushed to Jameson’s side, enveloping him in my arms, “I’m so happy that you are okay.”
He let out a soft cough, “Me too, Bri. And I love being in your arms, but I do have some stab wounds that are still healing.”
Immediately, I released him and jumped back slightly, “Oh my god, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Jameson chuckled and pulled me back to sit on the edge of his bed, his hands coming up and cupping my face, “It’s alright. I forgive you. Now, the real question is, do you forgive me?”
My hands covered his as tears threatened to come out once again today, “How could I not forgive you? This is a pretty legitimate excuse not to call or text me back.”
He brought my face close to his and our lips touched. Every butterfly that had been hiding somewhere within my belly was released in that moment. I felt like I could almost float away myself.
Jameson pulled away slightly, “You’ve lost weight.”
I pursed my lips nervously and looked anywhere but at Jameson, “Yeah…I have…”
“I know that look. You thought I abandoned you…”
“What? How the hell do you know that?”
Wow, way to play it cool.
Jameson kissed my lips several times before answering, “You had the same look when you told me about the eating disorder you developed after your father abandoned you. I’m going to kill that son of a bitch who did this to me and took me away from you.”
“Calm down, man,” Zander interrupted, “Him and his buddies are already in jail. They aren’t going to be hurting anyone else anytime soon.”
My own hands went to his cheeks, “You’re with me now, Jay. That’s all that matters.”
He moved his hands down to my waist and lifted me onto his lap, his lips instantly found mine as our kisses took off once more. Zander uncomfortably cleared his throat and excused himself from the room. Neither of us even looked in his direction as our lips were locked together and our tongues were exploring. My eyes closed, and my head leaned back as his lips traveled down to my neck. Goosebumps traveled up my arms as he kissed the one spot that always left me speechless. Why was I mad at this man again? It almost seemed like it was all just a bad dream.
“Jay,” I whispered as his lips and teeth worked the surface of my neck.
“Hmm?”
“I’ve missed you.”
He straightened up and looked me in the eye as though I was the most important person in the world, “I’ve missed you too. There was actually something I was going to tell you the night of the attack. And after how I felt the second that I woke up, I know that I have to tell you now.”
My eyebrows knit together hard as I studied his face, “What is it?”
“I’m in—”
“James! Baby, don’t worry I’m here!” A woman burst into the room and my head turned so quickly over to look at who just intruded into Jameson’s room that I was amazed I didn’t get whiplash.
“Vanessa?”
We just couldn’t catch a break.
Chapter Nine
“Who is this girl?” Vanessa pointed her finger at me and I carefully climbed off of Jameson’s lap.
“Vanessa, what the fuck are you doing here? We haven’t talked for two years since you cheated on me,” Jameson demanded.
Vanessa came to his bedside, shoving me out of the way. She was a lot stronger than she looked. Hesitantly, I went and retrieved my bag from where I had dropped it before. Was I supposed to leave to give these two privacy? I didn’t want to leave him again, I knew that I was supposed to be here with him.
“James, sweetheart, I made a mistake and I want to be with you. We were working things out between us,” Vanessa stated softly.
They were? That didn’t make any sense.
“No, we weren’t. I haven’t had any contact with you in two years. When I caught you cheating on me in our apartment, that was the last time that I spoke to you.”
Vanessa ran her hand through his hair
and I wanted to slap her, “You don’t remember anything because of the attack. It’s okay, I understand. I’ll even forgive you for making out with your nurse.”
Jameson rolled his eyes and let out a snarl, “She’s not my nurse. Briella is my girlfriend.”
Wait…I was?
I didn’t question it out loud. We had never put a label on what we had. Then again, we never got to the label portion of the relationship because he disappeared on me for three weeks. Vanessa looked over me and gave me a leering stare that made me shift uncomfortably under it.
“If you don’t plan on getting back together with me, we both know you can do better than that,” she laughed.
I was used to being bullied. It was something that I had to deal with for most of my life. The popular mean girls never liked me even though I considered myself to be a nice person. But this one sort of cut me deep because I knew that Jameson could do better than me. I bit my lip and nodded at her statement.
“I’m just gonna go wait outside…” I quickly left the room, hearing Jameson protest with each of my steps.
Once I was in the hallway, I collapsed onto a chair beside his door. My face buried in my hands and I finally let out the sob that I had been choking back. I felt a presence near me and heard someone sit down in the chair that was beside me.
“Why are you out here crying, Bri? You find out how much of an asshole Jameson really is?” Zander teased as he nudged my arm with his elbow.
I removed my hands from my face and looked at him, “No, Vanessa is in there.”
His mouth dropped open, “Vanessa as in Jameson’s ex-fiancée?”
My lips pursed, and I nodded slowly, not having the strength to extend on that comment.