by LJ Swallow
“If someone died, yes.”
Keir walks around us and leans against the sink, crossing his legs at the ankles. His face betrays worry caused by more than the conflict in the room as he looks to me.
My attention shifts from Jack. “What's wrong, Keir?”
“She came back.”
“Who?” As if I need to ask.
“Ava.”
No. “And?”
“I haven't spoken to her properly. She's... not good.”
“Where's she been?”
“Darius had her.”
I dig my fingernails into the soft wood of the table. “You definitely can't trust her now.”
His sapphire eyes are distant, indicating he's thinking of her, weighing things up. Blind fool. “But she came back.”
“To kill you, probably.”
“No.”
“Why else would they let her go?”
“They took her powers as punishment. She’s human now too.”
I blink in disbelief. “No. They wouldn’t.”
“They punished her for the souls, Dahlia. She’s here to stay now.”
I bite back my desire to retort he’s stupid and that she’s lying, but what would be the point? Maybe she is human now, it would be impossible for anybody to know for sure. Again, I’ll bide my time and expose her deceit.
Keir pulls himself away from the sink. “Yeah, well, I wanted to let you know.”
As he leaves, I stare back at the rain so I don't have to watch him go. Keir doesn't want to listen to the truth, as usual. Jack shifts in his chair, undoubtedly relieved I've dropped the subject of his dramatically improved appearance. I can't think about this now. Keir's in danger again.
27
DAHLIA
Things move from bad to worse. Not only am I convinced Jack has fed again, but now Ava is back, and Keir has dropped straight back into love-struck mode. Apparently, she's banished for her transgressions. I know the Caelestia, and I know what souls mean to them. There is no way they'd send her back here unless there was a purpose behind returning her. Why can’t Keir see the truth? The Caelestia won’t drop the determination for his soul that quickly after all this time.
Even worse, Ava’s assigned to help me track demons. Great. Because we love spending time with each other so much. I'm pissed off with her snide comments about Jack and her clever dodging of my questions about her time away. Ava knows I don't trust her, and I'm waiting for the slip up. But with watching and worrying about Jack, I can't be as vigilant as I was in the past.
Keir walks out of class with Ava; they don't notice me at first. Ava's face betrays more than she'd like to; she has a haunted look I've not seen on her before. Normally her emotions are well hidden behind her snarky exterior, but her pale complexion and darker eyes suggest I’m correct. She's dangerous. As soon as Keir turns to her, Ava's face transforms and I wonder how much treachery lies behind her eyes. Interestingly, she ducks his kiss, settling for his mouth on her forehead before taking his hand to leave. I walk over and say hello.
Keir drops Ava's hand and hugs me; being pushed against his hard chest and into the warmth of his embrace also pushes a lump into my throat. Not because she has Keir, but because I don’t have Jack. Not really. Will Keir be taken from me too? Ava's eyes narrow as I pull away, and her jealousy amuses me.
“Is Jack with you?” asks Keir.
What he means is have I left him alone. Jack is rarely alone these days, although since his dramatic change in appearance, Jack’s ability to cope around humans has also improved. I'm pissed off I'm being lied to about the reason. I've challenged Keir, but he skilfully deflects any of my attempts to uncover the truth. Jack continues his denial anything happened, and I think the denial extends to himself.
“Jack's coming onto campus again later. We're going for a drink,” I tell Keir.
Ava makes a choking noise.
“What's with you?” I snap.
“Wouldn't have thought they serve his kind of drink in bars.” Again, the snarky smile.
I really want to tell her to piss off but Keir becomes annoyed if we go at each other in front of him. I close my eyes, imagine smacking the stupid grin off her face, and take a deep breath.
I open them and look to Keir. “What are you doing now? Do you want to come and collect Jack with me?”
Keir glances at Ava. “Do you mind?”
Ava runs her tongue along her teeth, and I bite back a smile. She doesn't know where Jack lives and is still unaware of Asher and Eli. At least I persuaded Keir to keep this part of our life hidden. I bet Darius would do anything for information on the Nephilim gang—such as send back Ava to find out who they are. Why else would the Caelestia allow a treacherous soul hunter to live, instead of killing Ava when they had her?
“No, it's fine. I'm not feeling very sociable; we can catch up later.”
Ava reaches out a hand and strokes Keir's face. He catches and kisses her palm, before resting her hand on his chest. I watch the faintly nauseating exchange. Ava's eyes don't shine as brightly as his.
JACK
Dahlia is talking about Keir and Ava. Again. She's obsessed, and this hurts my head. Tonight she's brought me to one of the local pubs. Dahlia doesn't like pubs; she never did, but she’s back on her “fix Jack” mission again, now she's forgiven me for the unspoken thing I did. Keir never told her about the death, neither have I, but of course, she knows. I’m surprised I’m still alive and can’t figure out why the Nephilim are allowing me to live.
This is the pub we went to the evening she came to see me from Birmingham. If I thought life was weird then, I had no idea what was coming, did I? Maybe she thought visiting here would make me happy, but the opposite happens.
Same bald barman, same tobacco-stained ceiling and scratched round tables. Different Jack and Dahlia.
“Can we talk about something else?” I rub my hand across my nose again, but the smell of humans around hurts my senses.
Dahlia sits back and sips her orange juice. “Ava returning is a big deal, Jack.”
“Everything to do with Keir is a big deal,” I mutter, and immediately wish I hadn’t. The irritation of my situation isn't helping; fighting against reawakening hunger and being in public is not a good combination.
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing.”
Dahlia twists her body towards me and I instinctively edge away. “Fuck, Jack.”
“What?”
“He's trying to help you. Us. They all are, and she could screw everything up. What if Ava kills him?”
I sigh at her broken record. “Ava won’t kill him; she loves him.”
“Well, if she takes his soul that'll be worse than if she kills him.”
As soon as Dahlia starts on this topic, I switch off. “I'm sick of talking about this. What can we do? Really? Keir's stronger than both of us together.”
Dahlia picks at the edge of the table, eyebrows pulled down. “No, Keir's weak at the moment because he loves her too.”
“Maybe they're soul tied as well, and he can't a hundred percent help how he feels?”
The look of revulsion on Dahlia's face doesn't convince me. “As if a Nephilim would be soul tied to a soul hunter.”
My mind flings me back to our awkward first dates and the hell we now live in. There’s a reason we’re here. “And as if a soul hunter would be soul tied to a human?” I whisper the words.
Dahlia sucks her lips together in the way she does when she's trying not to say something.
I say the words for her. “Or an ex-soul hunter tied to a vampire.”
The silence hangs between us, interrupted by voices from a group of girls passing. They sit at an adjacent table. The scent of their life envelops me and when I rub my nose, Dahlia's eyes widen. This must be a thing I do every time I'm tempted.
“I thought you were better around people since you fed on one?”
Wow. Night of getting everything out in the open. “I haven't.”
“As well as what?”
She takes a long drink and shakes her head, staring into the glass. I focus on holding my breath instead, as she doesn't appear to want to speak. “As well as rejecting me.”
Crap. Tears glisten in her eyes, and I hate this. I hate I can't hold and comfort Dahlia, be everything she needs.
“You know I can't help that,” I whisper. “I want you safe.”
“Which is why we have to keep Keir safe.” She sets her glass down.
I stare at her. Unbelievable. “And we're back to him...”
“I was just saying before, we need him to help us.”
“Not necessarily. Asher and Eli?”
“They don't trust you. Keir feels responsible so he's pushing them to help.”
I lean back in the seat and stretch out my legs. If we're speaking about the unspoken, I have questions too. One in particular nags at me. “Were you together? You and Keir? After me? Before Ava?”
Dahlia's face flushes. “What? No! You don't understand me at all, do you?”
“I understand that you're obsessed with him,” I snap
I’ve gone too far. Dahlia's drifting away from me again. “I had no one. He helped me. We had the same aim—kill as many demons as we could. Jack, I never stopped thinking about you or loving you. Even the dreams never stopped; I thought I'd be tortured by them forever.”
I glance around, at people noticing her raised voice.
“Dahlia...”
Dahlia’s eyes glaze, the lost eyes my beautiful girlfriend had before I found her. Guilt tears inside, my pain joining hers, and I want to scream. Here I am, sitting amongst students, living the life I had before this nightmare. Why is she torturing me with this?
“Why bring me here, Dahlia?”
“To get you used to people again.”
I lower my voice. “I'm not people. I'm a vampire. And this is where I came with my friends—when I was human. Don’t you realise that hurts me?”
Dahlia's stiff anger recedes. “Oh.”
I rest my elbows on the table and put my head in my hands. Dahlia touches my shoulder and I jerk. I don't mean to shrug her off, but it’s involuntary.
“What are we doing?” she says, to herself as much as to me.
I'm done. I have nothing for her. Screw soul ties.
I feel like a complete bastard leaving Dahlia sitting alone in the pub. But the situation became worse the more we spoke, and we drew attention to ourselves.
I leave, and I consider again the trickery of vampires as I head down the street. Look how easily we snuck lies into popular culture about cold-skinned nightwalkers who die in the sun. They're smart. I've seen how smart—watched them take advantage of the pop culture vampire craze and lure people to their death. Vampires don't need to hunt anymore; victims come to them. I stop the thought process; remembering my past kills won't help the hunger.
I'm on campus, edging away from humans before I’m tempted. A girl sits on a bench near the path, her pink hair illuminated by a nearby light and I stop. Ava.
“It’s late. Are you okay?” I ask.
“All good.” She smiles, but not much of one. Standing to leave, she pauses. “Or should I worry about being stalked by a vampire in the night?”
Yeah, right. Although I can imagine Dahlia cheering me on. “No, but as we’re both here, can I talk to you?”
“Talk to me? Why me?” She stiffens.
I take a deep breath. I want to know Ava, but I've never had the chance. We’ve barely spoken, thanks to Dahlia's hatred of her. I approach and sit on the opposite end of the bench. “Because you’re an outsider like me.”
“If this is you about to shout at me again for letting you live, please don’t. I have enough happening.” She sits back on the bench.
Now I'm close, I can see her eyes are red-rimmed from tears. “I thought you said you were okay?”
“So, how are you, Jack? How’s things with Dahlia?”
Swift subject change. Hmm. I pick at the splintered wood on the bench. “Yeah.”
“Yeah?”
“She’s different than she was.”
Ava laughs. “So are you!”
I frown at her. “Because I’m a demon, she thinks I’m going to kill Keir. Amongst other things.” At least this didn't come up in my happy conversation with Dahlia tonight.
Ava snorts. “Dahlia thinks everyone’s going to kill Keir. It’s her thing. Don’t take it personally.”
“He has a lot of enemies, more enemies than friends. And I don’t think she wholly trusts me after my year away.”
Ava cocks her head and studies me through her reddened eyes. “Did you know Keir well before…?”
“Before I became a vampire? No. I’d never seen him before that night. He just appeared when it was happening.” I pause. “Now Dahlia’s obsessed with him.”
“With him or with killing demons?”
“With him. I’m a demon, and I’m still alive.”
“That’s different; she wouldn’t kill you. Keir said you were soul tied.”
“And can you imagine how hard it is to be soul tied to someone I want to hurt?” I whisper.
“Why do you want to hurt her?”
What a stupid bloody question. “Because I’m a vampire and she’s human!”
Ava tugs her coat around herself. “Okay, Jack, sorry but you asked to talk.”
I frown and look at the ground, needing to share. “She’s looking for a cure. A cure for demonism.” I look back to her; want her to understand what I mean. “Death’s the only cure for demonism. You should’ve killed me; then I could’ve ended this torture.”
“I wouldn’t have killed you.”
“I’m still killing people, she doesn’t know. I’m a monster.”
“Humans? Does it have to be human blood?” I'm surprised by how matter of fact she sounds.
What the hell, I’ve told her most of it now. “Yes. And they have to die; I need their human essence. But I’m not feeding enough. That’s why I look so rough. I want to see what happens, if not feeding will kill me.”
“Will it?” Her voice betrays curiosity, not disgust.
“I don’t know. Sometimes I hope so.” I scratch my cheek. “The only vampires I saw die were the ones killed by other demons, but unfortunately they missed me.”
Ava studies me curiously. “Dahlia gave up so much for you, Jack, you shouldn’t talk like this.”
I close my eyes. “Don’t tell her what I said, but I can’t talk to people about this. Not Keir or her, and I have to talk about these things. I’m going mad.”
She reaches out, and touches my bare hand. “I’m so sorry, Jack.”
I jerk my hand away and jump up. “Fuck! Ava!” This is why she's kept her distance. Stayed close to Keir, and well away from me.
“What?”
“You’re still a soul hunter! You’re lying to them.”
“No, I’m not.” In the shadows, it’s impossible for me to read her expression.
She's not a good liar; not when she's caught out like this. “You are—I felt you. Vampires know if they touch one.”
She scrubs at her eyes, leans towards me. “You can’t tell them.”
“Why are you lying?” Holy crap. Why do I have to be the one to find this out? “You really have come back to kill Keir, haven’t you?”
Ava looks away, to the trees, the frozen ground, and the grey skies.
A light bulb moment. The way out. “Kill me.”
Her head snaps back. “What?”
“Kill me or I’ll tell them.”
“I can’t.”
“You’re a soul hunter.”
“I won’t then.”
“Fine.” I turn, as if to walk away.
Ava’s urgent voice follows. “Jack! Wait! You’re not going to tell them now are you?”
I don't know. I really have no clue. Do I run to Dahlia? Keir? Fight Ava now and let her win? Or let
Ava tell them herself? I’m too tired to think; too sick of being trapped in the middle of their stupid battle. I don’t care what happens anymore.
“I’ll give you until tomorrow to tell them. Meet me tomorrow afternoon at two. Here. If you’re not here, I’m heading straight to Dahlia.” I approach Ava and study her face. None of this makes sense. “If you came back to take Keir’s soul, why does he still have it?”
28
DAHLIA
Jack's distant. And cagey. I worried last night after he left and half-expected to find him waiting outside my room. Obviously, I pissed him off a lot because he didn't try to contact me. Calling Keir this morning, there’s no answer, so looks like I'm on my own collecting Jack from Asher and Eli. I hate going there alone.
When I arrive, Jack answers the door and lurches out onto the path, glancing behind him. I step back, frowning.
“We need to go!” he says.
No hello, nothing. “Morning, Jack.” For a moment, I think he's going to grab my arm, but instead he shoves hands into his pocket. “What's wrong?”
“Something I need to do. I needed to do this last night, and they wouldn't let me go until you came.” He indicates the house with his head as he walks away.
I follow and he's moving too quickly for a human. “Slow down!” I hiss. “We have to wait for a bus anyway.”
Jack doesn't listen, walks to the bus stop in what most would call a sprint. Luckily, no one's around to see. Is he still agitated after last night? I'm furious with him about leaving me alone, and I'm building up to confronting him. If he stands still long enough.
“Have you seen Keir today?” he asks.
“I thought he was a topic of conversation I had to avoid?”
“Have you?”
An uncomfortable prickle crosses my scalp and my desire for confrontation disappears. “No... why?”
Jack turns his attention to the ground, shoulders drooping in a very human, Jack-like manner.
“Keir. What's happened to him?”
“Nothing. It's just...” He pushes his annoying fringe from his face and dull brown eyes fix on mine. “Nothing.”