A Precious Gift

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  Her eyes widened. “Do you really think they would’ve said that? Kyle likes Gabby a lot.”

  “What else could they have said?” After a pause, he decided to share some more. “I told Kyle this morning that he needed to end things with Gabby because they were too different.”

  “Was that before or after Kyle was kissing her on the picnic table?”

  “Before.”

  She smiled. “I don’t think he listened to ya, Jimmy.”

  Thinking of how Kyle had been locked in an embrace more passionate than he and Sarah had ever experienced, he nodded. “That’s for sure. But that’s probably why Mamm and Daed talked to him. He needs to behave better.” He nodded, thinking everything he said was making perfect sense.

  Betty still looked skeptical. “I don’t know, Jim. Daed doesn’t usually start building swings after he gets mad at us . . .”

  “If you’re so concerned, go ask Daed yourself.”

  “You know what? I just might.” She turned away and walked back out of the barn.

  Against his will, he peeked out the window. And, to his shock, she went right over to their father and started talking to him.

  Jimmy held his breath, sure she was going to get a talking-to about her behavior as well. But instead, their father neatly placed his tools on the ground then sat down beside Betty.

  Still watching like a Peeping Tom, Jimmy scratched his head. Things really were out of sorts around the house.

  Ten minutes later, Betty glanced toward the window where he was lurking, raised her chin, and then walked into the house. Which meant now everyone but him and Beth knew what was going on.

  After their father went inside, too, Jimmy couldn’t sit in the tack room another moment.

  Feeling out of sorts, he decided to take a break and go see Sarah. If he told her everything, she would likely have some good advice. Or, at the very least, she would make him feel better.

  After hitching up the buggy, he guided Vixen down the road to Sarah’s house. The day was clear and the air was crisp and cool. Bracing. Passing a farm that had a large Christmas wreath attached to its entrance, he couldn’t help but smile. This truly was the season of hope. He almost felt better with every yard they passed.

  * * *

  An hour later, Jimmy was wondering if Sarah would ever be able to make him feel better. He’d found her cutting out a new dress and she hadn’t looked especially excited to stop what she was doing to talk to him.

  When he’d suggested they go sit together on her parents’ front porch, she’d grudgingly followed him outside but had chosen to sit on one of the front steps instead of next to him on the porch swing.

  After he’d filled her in on all the excitement around his house, she hadn’t looked all that interested.

  Actually, she’d looked kind of bored.

  “I think you’re making mountains out of molehills,” she finally said.

  “Sarah, you know my parents almost as well as I do. We both know there’s no way they were happy with Kyle kissing his Englischer girlfriend in our front yard.”

  “I don’t think they are as shocked as you are making them out to be.” She pursed her lips, then added, “Think about Harley and Katie.”

  “What about them?”

  “They rushed to marry.”

  “So . . .”

  “Katie told me that Harley had been real anxious for their wedding day.”

  “Well, yes. I mean they’d known each other a long time.”

  “You are missing the point,” she said, sounding mighty impatient. “They were in love. No, they are in love.”

  He pulled on his collar. “Sarah, I’m getting the feeling you aren’t just talking about Harley and Katie. Or Kyle.”

  Her cool demeanor that he’d always admired broke in two. “Oh, do you think so, Jimmy?”

  Her voice was thick with sarcasm. He wasn’t stupid, he knew what she was referring to. But what he didn’t understand was why she thought he was the only reason they’d been postponing their wedding date.

  “If you have something to say, I think you should say it.”

  “Fine. I’ve been starting to wonder if we should break up.”

  “What? Nee!”

  She continued in her quiet, matter-of-fact voice, as if he hadn’t uttered a single word of protest. “Over the last couple of days, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and praying.”

  “About?”

  “Jimmy, I’m sure it’s as obvious to you as it is to me that there is a reason we haven’t been rushing to the altar.”

  No, it had not been obvious to him. Not at all. Feeling like he’d gotten a punch to the gut, he tried to make her see reason. “Sarah, we’ve been waiting because your mother had cancer. That’s what you wanted to do, jah? You didn’t want your parents to worry about anything except for her health.”

  Hurt filled her gaze. “All of that happened last year.”

  Jimmy contemplated pointing out that it had only been a few months since her mother had been given a clean bill of health. Her father had also complained about the expensive doctor bills. Jimmy had assumed that they were now waiting until those bills were paid off. “A lot has still been happening. We’ve been waiting until things quieted down.”

  “I know, but I think there has been something else going on.” She lifted her chin. “I think we could name a lot of reasons why we haven’t married yet, but I don’t think any of them are the complete reason we haven’t gone to the altar.”

  “What do you think it is?”

  “I think we’ve been stuck in a rut.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means we haven’t been going forward. You know … slowly drifting backward,” she continued, as if he didn’t know what being stuck in a rut meant.

  “If we’ve been stuck, we can become unstuck.”

  “I don’t think so. I see no way out of this if we stay together.”

  If? Feeling like they were talking about two different things, he said, “Sarah, we might have been stuck, but we’ve also been making plans.”

  “Yes, we have, but nothing concrete. Nothing that has been lasting.”

  “You know what? We can set a date now. We can get married as soon as you want to.”

  “That is the problem, Jimmy. We shouldn’t ‘have’ to set a date as soon as ‘I want to.’ Something is missing, and I think it’s time for us to at last admit that whatever it is, it isn’t likely to be found.”

  Looking at her serene expression, watching the way she was positioning her body so she wasn’t even completely facing him, he felt betrayed. “I think you’ve been planning this for some time,” he said. “I think you’ve been unhappy for a while and have been just biding your time until you came up with something else, or someone else.” Jumping on that excuse, he blurted, “Is that what happened, Sarah? Have you found another man?”

  “Nee. This isn’t about needing a man to marry me, Jimmy. It’s about wanting to have something special. It’s about wanting you to love me.”

  “But I do.” When she stared at him expectantly, like she was hoping for something more, he added, “You knew that, Sarah.”

  She sighed. “I think I need more words than that.”

  “More words?”

  “I want us to be so in love that we don’t want to wait another two months—or another two years—to marry.”

  “Good relationships aren’t all about being anxious and impatient.” Inwardly, he winced. It was doubtful that he could sound more prudish.

  “That is true. But I think that it’s okay to want some of that, too, though. Don’t you think that a little bit of romance and impatience can be a gut thing?”

  “Maybe. I mean, I guess so.” He inhaled as he heard his words. Even to his ears, they had sounded awfully lackluster.

  She looked disappointed, like yet again he’d failed whatever test she’d hoped he would pass.

  “When you’re sure, let me know.” She walked to h
er front door. “Until then, I think we might need to take a break for a while,” she whispered before stepping inside.

  He couldn’t help but notice that she hadn’t spared him a backward glance.

  “I’m trying to be honest, Sarah. There’s nothing wrong with that, right?” he asked to the closed door. But, of course, she hadn’t heard him.

  Though, maybe they hadn’t actually heard each other for some time. Or worse, they hadn’t even tried to listen.

  If that had happened, then that would be the saddest thing of all.

  SEVEN

  “I was sure I was going to see the Eight do something outlandish or bad. But all they did was have a campfire and toast s’mores and laugh a lot.”

  “That will be one hundred twenty-four, thirty-eight,” Gabby said to the customer as she finished bagging the woman’s groceries.

  “Those lamb chops add up, don’t they?” the lady said as she swiped her credit card on the machine.

  “Yes, ma’am. But they’re good though.”

  “They really are,” she replied as she put the three canvas totes back in her cart. “Have a nice day, Gabby.”

  “You, too.” Gabby smiled at her before turning to check out the next customer. But then she realized that her line was momentarily empty.

  Thank goodness for that. For at least a few minutes, she could lean against the counter and relax. Even doing such a small thing made her feel better.

  She’d been on her shift for seven hours, and she’d had only two short breaks and a half-hour lunch. Usually she loved busy days at Walnut Creek Cheese Shop. It made the time go by fast and kept her mind off her usual problems and worries.

  But today had been exhausting. For the last hour, it had been a struggle to keep smiling. She didn’t know if it was because of her pregnancy … or the fact that Kyle was coming to meet her at four o’clock and go home with her so they could tell her mother and Lane about the baby.

  The baby. It still didn’t seem real, almost like it was just an idea that she should be afraid about.

  But maybe that was part of why everything seemed so strange. After yesterday’s visit to Kyle’s house, she wasn’t all that afraid about the future anymore. Oh, sure, she was scared to tell her mom and going to be embarrassed for Lane and her friends to find out, but Kyle had been amazing and so supportive. Even his parents hadn’t acted like she was a terrible person. Instead, they’d swallowed their shock and asked how she was feeling.

  She could only hope that her mother would be an eighth as nice about the news.

  “Gabby, time to sign out,” Laura, the manager, said as she approached. “We’ll see you in two days.”

  “Great. Thank you.”

  “No, thank you. You’ve turned into a great cashier.”

  “Thanks.” Gabby didn’t take that praise lightly. Learning the job had been a lot harder than she thought it would be. There was a bit of pressure doing it, too. The first couple of times she’d been at the checkout on her own, she’d messed up, causing a whole line of people to get irritated. Now she was almost as quick as Jeff, who was the head cashier and had worked at the shop for ten years.

  After turning in her receipts and cash drawer, she hurried over to the staff’s break room, anxious to take off her apron.

  Just as she turned the corner, Alaina winked at her. “Your Amish guy is here already.”

  “Really? Where?”

  She nodded toward the side door. “He’s over there talking with those two couples.”

  Looking to where Alaina was pointing, Gabby grinned. Yep, there was Kyle, looking relaxed and happy. He was talking to a couple of his brother’s friends, too. She knew Kyle well enough to know about the Eight and their close friendship.

  For a moment, she considered walking up to them to tell Kyle that she’d be right out but elected to wait. A trip to the bathroom was in order, and she wanted to brush her hair before she saw him, too.

  Minutes later, when she was running a brush through her long hair, she stared at herself in the mirror, wondering if she looked different yet. And how all of her was going to change. Was she ready for the changes? She didn’t know.

  Sometimes all the changes that were about to happen really did feel overwhelming.

  She braided her hair in a loose plait and secured it, then grabbed her purse and headed back to where she saw Kyle last. He was alone now and was looking for her.

  The moment he spied her, he smiled. “Hey. You snuck out on me. One minute, I saw you ringing out a lady, and the next, you were gone.”

  “When I got off my shift I saw that you were talking to your brother’s friends. I decided to get cleaned up real fast.”

  “Logan, Tricia, Katie, and Will were here.”

  “I like how you’re friends with them, too.”

  “I’ve known them since we were all small. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have just one older sister and two older brothers, I’ve got a whole mess of them.”

  “I bet. At least they’re nice.”

  “Yep. They’re gut. So, are ya ready?”

  She nodded. “I’ve got the car today, so we can drive.”

  “I’m glad of that. It’s cold out.”

  “It is.” After they got in, she blasted the heat, and when they got out onto the highway, he said, “How are you?”

  She knew what he meant. “Scared. I don’t think my mom is going to handle the news as well as your parents did.”

  He didn’t look surprised. “I know. Don’t take this the wrong way, but it doesn’t matter.”

  “What?”

  “I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I mean, us, and … Gabby, it’s you and me now. We’re a pair. My concern is about you and me, not making your mother like me or even if she will accept the fact that we’re going to have a baby.”

  How had she gotten so lucky? Gabby couldn’t imagine another eighteen-year-old on the planet be so caring and mature. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

  He nodded. “I’m not going to pretend I have all the answers, but I do know that you and this baby are my main concerns right now.”

  As she parked the car in front of her small house, Gabby released a deep breath of air. She didn’t know if she felt better about the upcoming conversation with her mother, but at least she didn’t feel as alone. That had to count for something. “Let’s go get this over with, then.”

  * * *

  An hour later, Gabby knew she would pay someone a hundred dollars if he or she could get her out of the room fast. She’d just experienced the longest forty minutes of her entire life.

  To say her mom hadn’t taken the news well was an understatement. She was livid. The only silver lining in the whole situation—and she wasn’t even sure it could be called a silver lining—was that her mother wasn’t putting all the blame on Kyle’s shoulders.

  No, she was bestowing that gift on Gabby.

  “How could you be so stupid?” she asked for at least the fifth time. “I thought you were smarter than this.”

  Gabby knew better than to try to explain herself. Instead she stayed silent and prayed that her mother would calm down soon. Really soon.

  Unfortunately her silence seemed to only make her mother more livid. “Nothing? You don’t have a thing to say?”

  “I don’t have anything to say that you want to hear.”

  “This was my fault, Mrs. Ferrara,” Kyle interjected.

  “It’s not Missus,” she said in a cold tone of voice. “It’s Ms.”

  “All right . . .”

  “And this most certainly is Gabby’s fault. She knows what happened to me. She knew better than to have sex without promises. And better than to count on someone like you.”

  This was getting even worse. “Mother, you can’t talk like that to Kyle.”

  “It’s my house. I’ll speak to him however I want to.” Standing up, her mom began to pace again. “Have you even thought about how you’re going to afford this baby, Gabrielle?”

&nbs
p; “Not yet.”

  “Is that because you expect me to foot the bill?”

  “I graduated, Mom. I have a job.”

  “You have a job at a grocery store. That’s not going to pay for much.”

  “Gabby ain’t alone,” Kyle said. “I’ll help her pay for anything the babe needs.”

  She stopped pacing long enough to send Kyle a scathing look. “Like that makes me feel any better.”

  A muscle in Kyle’s jaw ticked. It was obvious he was trying to stay respectful, but he was just about at the end of his limit.

  Oh, this was terrible. Gabby had known that her mom was going to flip out, but she hadn’t expected her mother to start saying hateful things to Kyle’s face and bringing up money.

  Her mother paced again. “About the only positive thing I can say is that I’m impressed he’s here.”

  Kyle lifted his chin. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Just wait until your parents find out. They’ll put a stop to your relationship then.”

  “We told them yesterday,” Kyle said before Gabby could warn him not to mention that. “They aren’t pleased, but they don’t want me to break up with Gabby or anything.”

  Her mother paused in midstride. “They found out yesterday?” Before Kyle could reply, she spun to face Gabby. “When?”

  “Yesterday morning.” She shrugged. “Does it even matter?”

  Just like she’d feared, her mother went on the offensive. “So they got to find out first? Why is that?”

  Kyle was looking at her mother like she was unhinged.

  Though Gabby couldn’t blame him, she tried to smooth things over. “Mom, it’s not like it was a race. I went over to tell Kyle and he wanted to tell his parents right away.”

  “Why did you wait until today to tell me?”

  Gabby knew there was a thick thread of hurt in her mother’s voice, but at the moment, she couldn’t care less about that. Getting to her feet, she said, “This isn’t about you.”

  “Of course it is. I got knocked up by an Amish boy and then abandoned, Gabby. You knew how this news was going to affect me.” She shook her head. “And how are you going to be able to tell Lane? No, what are we going to tell your brother about how this happened?”