by Amy Reece
He noticed her stare and reached for her hand. “Hell of a day, huh?”
“I’ve definitely had better. Are you going to be okay?”
He shrugged. “Eventually. When the shock wears off. Your brothers are…intense.”
She chuckled a bit. “Yeah, you could say that. They actually handled it better than I expected. Especially Hugh.”
“I don’t blame them. If I had a sister, I’d probably act the same way.” He squeezed her hand.
“Well, at least the worst part is over.”
He glanced at her with a look that clearly said ‘are you crazy?’
“What? You’re not worried about meeting Janey, are you?” she asked, incredulous.
“I’m scared to death! What if she doesn’t like me? What if she cries? I don’t know anything about kids, Izzy!”
“Do you like kids? Did you ever want to have any?” She felt horrible for him; he hadn’t been given any choice in the matter, and now he was on his way to meet his daughter for the first time.
“Well, yeah. I always planned to have them someday. But I kind of thought they’d start small and we could get used to each other as they got bigger.”
Izzy laughed softly. “Oh, Mac. Please try not to worry. Janey is sweet and pretty laid back for a four-year-old.”
“I thought she was five?”
“Well, she will be next Saturday. She’s very excited about her birthday. We’re having a party at my parents’ house.”
“Shit. I need to get her a present. What does she like? I mean, if I’m invited. I didn’t—” He reclaimed his hand and ran it distractedly through his hair, setting it on end.
“Of course you’re invited. You’re her father. And I’ve got plenty of presents for her, so don’t worry.”
He pulled the SUV to the curb in front of her house and killed the engine. “Oh, my God. Okay.” He wrenched the door open and met Izzy on the sidewalk.
She reached up to straighten his hair, then brushed a quick kiss across his lips. She had no idea whether or not he would still be interested in pursuing a relationship with her after all this, but she felt he needed it at this moment. “You’ve got this, Mac. I’ll be right there next to you.” She took his hand and led him up the walkway to her front door.
Chris and Janey were seated on the floor around the coffee table, coloring. Chris’s tall frame looked uncomfortable, her long legs splayed at an awkward angle, but she was gamely filling in a page of My Little Ponies with bright colors. Janey looked up with a huge smile, but it faltered when she saw Mac standing beside her mother.
Izzy, recognizing the confusion, fear, and consternation on her daughter’s face, dropped Mac’s hand and went to kneel in front of the little girl. Janey leapt to her feet and hugged her mother, whispering in her ear, “Who is that?”
“I’ll tell you in a minute, okay? I promise.” She turned to Chris. “Thanks so much.”
“No problem. How did it, um, go?”
“Fairly well. There was no bloodshed, at least.”
“Good. I better get home. I’m sure Hugh will have a few things to get off his chest.” She sighed and picked up her bag.
“I told him you were nagging me to tell, so he better not be mad at you,” Izzy said.
“I never nag.” She leaned down and kissed Janey. “Bye, sweetie. See you soon.”
“Bye, Aunt Chrissy.” Janey watched her aunt leave, then looked again at Mac. Then she hid her face in her mother’s neck.
Oh, boy. Janey had never been super comfortable meeting strangers, a fact Izzy had decided not to share with Mac. He was nervous enough. Izzy stood and went to sit on the sofa, pulling Janey with her to sit on her lap. She nodded her head at Mac, telling him to sit across from them. “Janey, hon, I know you’ve been wondering who this is all morning.”
“Nobody would tell me, and then you left, Momma.” Her small voice was accusatory and her green eyes hinted at tears.
“I know. I’m sorry, sweetie, but Mac and I needed to talk. And then I had to talk to your aunts and uncles.” She paused to take a deep breath. “Janey, this is Mac. He’s your father.”
Janey stared at Mac; he stared back, a small smile trying to find its place on his lips. Then she buried her face in Izzy’s neck again.
“He’s been wanting to meet you. He’d like to spend some time with you and get to know you.”
“Is he gonna live here now?” The words were muffled against Izzy’s neck, but she didn’t feel any wetness from tears.
“No. He has his own house, but he might be spending some time here. Can you say hello to him, please?”
Janey peeked out, a frown marring her little features, but Izzy recognized a nascent curiosity. “Hello. Can I see your house?”
Izzy was amused at the confusion on his face; leave it to Janey to latch on to something like that.
“Uh, sure, if you want.”
“Do you have a bedroom for me there? I have a bedroom at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, and I have one at Uncle Hugh and Aunt Chrissy’s. Do you have a dog? My Uncle Hugh has Bob.”
Mac swallowed, as if unsure quite how to process all this information. “Well, let’s see. I have a spare room that we could certainly turn into a bedroom for you, if you like. I don’t have a dog, but I’ve been thinking about getting one. Maybe you could help me pick one out.”
Good job, Mac. Janey was animal-crazy, so offering to let her help him choose a dog was sure to win her over.
“Today?” Janey slid off Izzy’s lap and walked around the coffee table to stand next to Mac. “Can we go today?”
Izzy smothered a smile and stepped in to rescue the poor man. “Not today, sweetie. Getting a dog is a big responsibility, and I’m sure Mac needs some time to prepare. And he said he’s thinking about it. If he decides to really get one, maybe you can help him choose, okay?”
“Okay.” Janey nodded seriously. “Momma won’t let us get a dog ’cuz she says she doesn’t wanna pick up poop all over the backyard. But she said maybe I could have a kitten when I’m five if I help clean the libber box.”
“Litter box. And that’s a big maybe,” Izzy told her manipulative offspring.
“Maybe if you ask her, she’ll let me have one.” Janey turned her big green eyes on him.
“Janey,” Izzy warned, but saw Mac wink at her. Oh, great. I might as well buy a damned ‘libber box’ already.
“Do you want to see my bedroom?” Janey held her hand out to Mac.
He swallowed again and nodded, placing his hand in hers, dwarfing her tiny fingers. Izzy saw his eyes were distinctly shiny and her heart ached suddenly at the beauty of the moment.
“Why don’t I make lunch while you show Mac around? How does grilled cheese and tomato soup sound?” She watched as Janey led Mac down the hall, then retreated to the kitchen to prepare a simple meal for them to share.
Izzy suggested a walk to the nearby park after lunch; she knew it would be better to have something for them all to do while Janey and Mac got acquainted. A bored child was a whiny child, after all, and she thought Mac didn’t need to be exposed to that side of parenthood on his first day. The afternoon had turned pleasant and sunny, so they all donned jackets and headed out the door. Janey had apparently decided Mac was trustworthy, because she held his hand while they walked, leaving Izzy to bring up the rear. So far, so good. Izzy wanted Mac and Janey to start off well and be able to build a good relationship. She had no idea where they were headed as a couple and a family, but he deserved to have a chance with his daughter.
Once at the park, Mac pushed Janey on the swing for quite a while, then spun her on the merry-go-round as she giggled wildly, her brown hair flying around her face as it escaped her ponytail. She finally found some girls her age to climb on the jungle gym with and Mac came to sit with Izzy on a nearby bench.
“She’s amazing.”
She reached for his hand. “I completely agree. You’re doing great, by the way. Still scared?”
“Yeah,
but I’m holding my own. She’s sweet. And smart! I can’t believe how well she reads already! She read me a book when we were in her room.”
“She’s exceptionally precocious. She’s also a manipulative little minx, so be careful. You’ll find yourself saddled with a dozen dogs before you know it.”
He chuckled and dropped her hand, but it was only to put his arm around her and pull her close. “That’s okay,” he said as he kissed her hair. “You are going to let me buy her a kitten for her birthday, aren’t you? I think that could seal the deal with her.”
“Oh, probably.” She leaned her head against his shoulder and sighed happily.
“I’ve missed so much, Izzy! God, I wish I’d been here for the last four years! How much did she weigh when she was born? Was it an easy birth? What did you look like when you were pregnant?”
She took her head off his shoulder and put a finger over his lips. “Shh. I’ve got a ton of photo albums at home and I can share all my digital photos with you. I wish you had been here too, Mac. I’m sorry.”
He smiled a bit sadly. “Yeah, well, I’m here now. I want to help support her, Izzy. I have no idea how to go about it, but I’ll start paying child support.”
“Why don’t you just concentrate on getting to know her for now? I’m doing fine financially; I don’t need child support. We can figure out all the legal stuff later, okay?”
He nodded. “I feel like I’m about to burst.” He laughed shakily. “I don’t know what to do with all these emotions. She’s so beautiful. God, I have a daughter. My dad is going to freak.”
“Janey will be thrilled to find out she has another grandpa. If you need to go home, Mac, it’s okay. I know you wanted to be by yourself for a while.”
“Did I? It doesn’t seem to matter right now. I’d like to hang around, if you don’t mind. Maybe we could take her out for dinner or something.”
Izzy smiled and settled back with her head on his shoulder. “Why don’t we order pizza and watch a movie together?”
“You don’t mind? I don’t want to make a nuisance of myself, but I’d like to spend more time with her. What do you do while you’re at work? Who watches her?”
“She goes to a preschool daycare. It’s a really good one. And you’re not a nuisance. Not at all. I want you to be a part of her life, Mac.”
“What about your life? This all took me by surprise, but where does it leave us?”
She sat up again and looked into his face. “I think that depends on you. Do you think you’ll be able to forgive me for keeping Janey a secret from you?”
“Already forgiven. I get that it was hard to tell me this last week. I showed up out of the blue and pretty much hounded you into going out with me. I’m in awe of what you’ve had to do by yourself for the last six years, Izzy. You’ve taken such good care of our daughter, and I’m grateful. I want a relationship with you just as much as I want one with her. I’d like to think we could be in this together. Do I have any chance of that, Izzy?”
She smiled and pulled his head down for a kiss. She’d intended it to be quick, but he slid both his arms around her and slanted his mouth across hers, deepening the kiss. She tried to remember she had a child to watch, but it was difficult as she sank into the wonder of his lips.
“You’re kissing.” Janey stood directly in front of them, watching in fascination.
Way to state the obvious, darling. “Well, yes, we—”
Mac interrupted. “I hope it’s okay to kiss your mom, Janey. I like her a lot.”
“Are you her boyfriend?”
“Well, I guess that depends on your mom. I’d like to be her boyfriend, if she says it’s okay. Is it all right with you?”
She appeared to think about it seriously for a moment. “Yeah, but you have to take her on a date. You have to bring her flowers. That’s what they do on TV.” She stood in front of them, hands on her little hips.
“A date. Flowers. Got it. Where do you think I should take her? And what kind of flowers?”
Janey inserted herself between them on the bench, causing them to break apart, and turned to Mac. “She likes pink flowers. My Uncle Hugh took me to Red Lomster once. You should take Momma there.”
Mac took his phone out and opened a notes app. “Red Lobster,” he said as he typed. “Pink flowers. Anything else?”
“Always open the door for her. My Uncle Finn said it’s important. He always opens the door for Aunt Mel.” Mac added it to his notes while Janey craned her neck to see his screen.
Izzy watched, amused as the two of them strategized on the perfect date. Janey crawled into his lap as he scrolled through images of various flowers on his phone until she found one she approved of and looked up into her father’s face with a smile. Izzy’s heart swelled, and she wondered why she had been so afraid to tell this amazing man they shared a child. Right at this moment, she felt like the luckiest woman alive.
***
Mac
“So, how was your weekend?” Darius greeted Mac and set a paper cup on his desk. “I couldn’t handle office coffee today.”
“Thanks.” Mac took a careful sip, relishing the hot dark roast. “My weekend was quite interesting, actually.”
“Do tell.” Darius raised his eyebrows up and down. “Did you spend it heating up the sheets with Izzy? Or did she dump you after the fundraiser?”
“I have a daughter.” He figured it was easiest to throw it out there and cut straight to the chase.
Darius laughed and sipped his coffee. He glanced at Mac, obviously expecting him to join in the joke. After a long moment, he finally picked up on the fact that Mac wasn’t kidding. “What? Holy shit! How? When? Who’s the mother?”
“Izzy, of course. I apparently gave her more than fond memories that night six years ago. She got pregnant.” He handed Darius his phone, open to his pictures. “Her name’s Janey. Janelle Mackenzie. Izzy kinda named her after me.”
Darius set his coffee on his desk and took Mac’s phone, scrolling though the pictures. “Dude, she’s beautiful. God, she looks like you. I was going to ask if you were sure it’s yours, but it’s pretty obvious. But…why? Why didn’t she tell you?”
Mac took back the phone and cleared his throat. “She didn’t know my name, either. All she knew was ‘Mac.’ She had no way to get in touch with me. Shit, Darius.” He shook his head. “It was just supposed to be one night. Neither one of us thought it would ever go further.”
“But you never forgot her, did you? And she obviously never forgot you.” He picked up his coffee again and used it to gesture to Mac’s phone. “So, what’s she like? How old is she?”
Mac filled his friend in on all the details from the weekend and found he enjoyed talking about his little girl.
Darius shook his head in wonder. “Dude, you should see your face! You’re glowing! And bragging! Oh, my God!”
“Shut up! She’s amazing.”
Darius laughed and clapped Mac on the back. “I’m sure she is. Calm down. When do I get to meet her?”
“I don’t know. Soon, though. I’m a dad, Darius.”
“You’re a dad.”
They stared at each other blankly for a moment, then Mac turned to grab his coffee. “Anyway, we better get to work. What’s on our agenda today?”
“We have a 9:30 sit-down with the governor’s chief-of-staff to go over her public appearances for the next few months. It takes about an hour, maybe more at this time of day, to drive to Santa Fe, so we need to get on the road.” Darius began packing his laptop and various file folders into his bag. “So, are you and Izzy still on?”
Mac packed his own equipment as he answered. “I think so, but it’s complicated now with Janey. We’re going to give it a shot, though. I met her family Saturday.”
“And?”
“I went with her when she told them about me. She’s kept it a secret from them all these years and never told them who the father of her baby was.”
“How’d they take it?” Darius l
ed the way to the parking garage.
Mac chuckled. “Her youngest brother tried to punch me.”
“He tried to punch an ex-Green Beret? What an idiot!”
“In his defense, he didn’t know. They’re a pretty fierce bunch, especially the oldest, Hugh. I don’t think he likes me much.” He shook his head. “You think we’ll be done in time for lunch at Tomasita’s?”
“Let’s make sure we are. That sounds really good. I love their chile rellenos.”
The drive to Santa Fe took closer to an hour and a half, due to a wreck on the south side of La Bajada hill, but they were able to expedite the meeting with the chief of staff. She gave them a run-down of all the governor’s upcoming speeches and appearances through early spring; Darius and Mac were in charge of making sure a threat assessment was done for each location and giving recommendations to the governor’s security detail.
“I will admit I’m a bit hesitant about the number of outdoor events the governor has planned. With the contentious political climate right now and her recent education reforms, I’m worried. But she doesn’t listen to my concerns.” The woman—Mac thought her name was Ellen or Helen—gave a sigh. Mac had read about the unpopular teacher evaluation changes in the newspaper and figured the governor’s aide had plenty to worry about. The local teacher’s union was out for blood.
“Ma’am, we understand and will make sure you and the governor have all the information you need to make an informed decision about each of these venues.” He closed his laptop and stood to shake her hand. “We’ll have our report to you in a few weeks.”
“Thank you…Mac, wasn’t it?” She held on to his hand tightly.
“Yes, ma’am. Mac MacNeil.” He actually had to pull his hand from her grasp. “You have a nice day now.”
Darius chuckled as they walked to their car.
“What’s so funny?”
“You. She was coming on to you and you were completely oblivious.”
Mac looked back toward the building. “No, she wasn’t. Besides, I’m not interested. I have a date with Izzy tonight.”