With one last tired glance in the mirror, she took a deep breath and left the bathroom.
In the massive bonus room, William leaned over his DVD collection (which seemed large enough to include every movie known to man). Two glasses of murky liquid stood on the coffee table; one packed to the brim with ice.
When William turned and found Beth staring at the table he said, "Hey. I didn't have any caffeine - I hope lemonade is okay."
Beth blinked and smiled quickly. "It's perfect. Thank you." She seized the glass clearly meant for her and drank deeply.
William watched her for a moment, and then turned back to his movies. "You up for a movie, or are you too tired?"
"I'm okay. I can't promise I won't pass out in the middle of it though."
"I'll take my chances," he said, smiling at her from over his shoulder. "So, what are you in the mood for? 'Sexual content,' 'violence,' 'partial nudity,' 'drug references,' or 'crude humor?'"
Beth laughed tiredly as she slid down to the floor between the table and couch, her hands cold from holding the frosty glass. "Surprise me."
William chose Music and Lyrics and joined Beth on the floor, picking up his own glass and drinking. Had his movie choice been a coincidence? They watched in silence for a few minutes, an awkward lull blanketing them both and doing a poor job of hiding the elephant in the room.
"Are you worried about Gianna?" Beth asked, finally breaking the quiet.
William looked back at her in silence. She took that as a yes. Of course, it could also mean 'none of your business.'
She plowed on bravely. "She'll be fine. She's smarter than you give her credit for. And she has to get out there again if she's ever going to heal."
William looked thoughtfully down into Beth's eyes, familiarity and gentleness reflected in their depths. Then he turned away, nodding slowly. "I know. Doesn't make it any easier, though."
Beth set her lemonade back on the table, rubbing her hands together to warm them. Wordlessly, William stood and left the room. He returned shortly with the flannel from his bed, draping it around her back. Then he sandwiched both of her hands in his, chaffing his warm skin against hers.
Hot and cold chills coursed though Beth at his touch, and she found it impossible to retain any of the movie. After a few absent-minded minutes had passed for Beth, William asked quietly, "Are you warm enough?"
How to answer? No. How about losing that shirt and giving me some body heat?…….Yes, but don't let go. If she dared to open her mouth to answer, she was likely to blurt something like 'take me to bed or lose me forever!' and that just wouldn't do. She looked away quickly, stress gathering behind her eyes and forming into anguished tears. What was she doing here? She had no right to be watching a movie and holding hands with William like nothing had happened. And neither did he.
William sighed and turned to face her, pulling his hands back from hers. "What can I do, Beth? I don't know how to make this better." He gestured to the space between them, agony in his voice. "I'm trying."
Beth extricated herself from the blanket, tears spilling onto her cheeks in mutiny. She worked to steady her voice, but failed. "We have an early day tomorrow. I think I'll call it a night."
William caught her arm as she started to walk away, pulling her back and sitting her on the couch. He knelt in front of her, caging her with his brawny arms and setting his jaw.
"Don't do that. Talk to me. Tell me how to make it right. Please?" he begged.
When she didn't respond, his expression became tortured. He bowed his head, resting it on her knees. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Gianna and why I had to leave. You don't know how sorry I am for all the things I said that night." He took an agonized breath, and continued. "I'm sorry I didn't just tell you how much I liked you at the beginning. I'm sorry I made you cut off your finger because I thought I knew how to flirt." He lifted his head and brushed the tears, now coursing freely, off her cheeks with his hands. "I understand why you can't forgive me. I understand if you hate me. I just need to know, one way or another."
Beth looked at him with bleary eyes. "You think I hate you?"
"I honestly don't know," he answered.
Beth paused, unsure of what to say. Then she decided that, once again, the time for words had passed. Before she could talk herself out of it, she leaned in and planted her mouth on his.
William reacted instantly, cuffing his hands behind her knees and pulling her to the floor on his lap. His kisses were hard enough that they may have hurt if she hadn't been so hungry for them. Liquid fire saturated her body, incinerating any trace of coherent thought. She covered every surface of his exposed skin with kisses: his cheeks, his lips, his neck. Time seemed to ebb, as if the earth had slowed its rotation. As if they were in another dimension now. William's mouth softened, lingering as he slowly pulled at her lips, drawing back and crashing into her again. It reminded Beth of the ocean tide, methodically rising and falling. Where moments ago his kiss had been urgent and uncontrolled, now it was tender and purposeful. His hands were in her hair and his shirt was balled up in her fists. When her fingertips grazed the skin of his waist at the sides, he pulled her in tighter for an instant, pressing his palms into the small of her back. Then he froze. Somewhere, perhaps in that other dimension, an invisible switch had been thrown.
William drew back slightly, applying gentle pressure to her shoulders and pushing her back. Without an explanation, he set his back against the couch, pulling her down to sit beside him on the floor.
Obviously, he had something to say. But Beth was feeling like a particularly impatient child in the back seat, plaguing her parents with questions like, How much farther? Are we there yet? Can we get back to kissing now?
Beth must have looked as disgruntled as she felt, because William grinned like he could hear her thoughts.
"What?" Beth said, a little defensively.
"You're cute when you pout."
"If that were true, you'd still be kissing me."
William's eyes smoldered like coal in a dying fire. "Oh, it's true. But we need to talk. You know - discuss, communicate."
"I thought we were communicating," Beth said a bit icily.
"I meant verbal communication. I don't think we have a problem expressing ourselves the other way." He brushed the back of his hand against Beth's cheek with admiration brimming in his eyes.
Beth folded her arms. "I still don't see the problem."
William stroked Beth's fingers. "The problem, Sweetheart, is that I can't form a coherent sentence when you're straddling me."
Beth's mouth fell open, and she flushed with anger. She stood up, earning a confused look from William. "If you didn't want -"
William bolted up after her, catching her arm and pulling her back. He set his hands on either side of her waist, drawing her close until she bumped into him. "I do want," he said in a low voice. "But I care about you too much to lose control while you're in my arms. Understand?"
When she couldn't take the intensity in William's eyes any longer, Beth nodded. Much as she hated to admit it, He had a point. It was too difficult to think rationally when his body pressed up against the length of hers - like now, for instance.
William looked at her for emphasis, then dropped his hands from Beth's waist to tangle with her fingers. Towing her onto the couch with him, he settled her sideways on his lap. For Beth to straddle him in this position, she'd have to be an Olympic gymnast.
"Did I do something wrong?" she finally asked after a long stretch of silence.
"Absolutely not," he declared, meeting her eyes. "My self control was slipping, that's all."
"And that would be bad?"
William smirked. "I doubt it." He paused thoughtfully. "Have you ever been in love before?"
"No….."
"So you've never been with anyone like that, right?"
Beth flushed momentarily, then folded her arms stubbornly. "So? What's that got to do with anything?"
William stroked her chee
k in a placating sweep. "It would be your first time, then?"
"And?" Her irritation weakened under his touch.
William cast his eyes down, frustration creasing his forehead as he struggled to articulate. "I don't really know how to explain it without sounding old-fashioned," he began. "Most people don't see that relationship as something special anymore. Something binding. But I do."
Beth's brow furrowed for a moment. "So….you're a virgin?"
William smiled ruefully and shrugged. "I can't imagine doing that with just anybody. It's so intimate. I guess I never found anyone I wanted to share it with…..until now." He paused, brushing his thumb across their twined hands. "And then, after what happened with Gianna….." he broke off, his words choked off by the hardening in his eyes. "I decided that I never wanted to take that away from someone unless there was a commitment involved." He traced her cheek again. "I want to be your first, Beth, but I also want to be your last."
William leaned his head back against the couch, watching Beth with wary eyes. What in the world was she supposed to get out of that speech? He didn't believe in extramarital sex. That was fine with Beth. There were too many risks anyway - like STDs and unplanned pregnancy. The simple fact was that the world was getting less and less accountable when it came to that. But he'd said something else, too. He'd said he'd never found anyone he'd wanted enough - until now.
"You're awfully quiet," William commented after a moment.
"Sorry," Beth said. "I'm just processing."
"If I ask you something, will you answer me honestly?"
That was never a good way to word a question. "What do you want to know?" she asked apprehensively.
"Tell me about the song you're singing with Fritz."
Beth narrowed her eyes. Why would he be asking about that? To buy herself some time, she answered, "That's not exactly a question……"
William grimaced at her, drawing an exasperated breath. Then he set his melting chocolate eyes on hers, doubling his efforts. "Please?"
"Below the belt," Beth muttered, relocating her eyes to the ceiling to study the swirled stucco patterns. "It was about you."
"And you wrote it?"
"If Fritz wrote a song like that about you, then you've got bigger problems than my angst-ridden poetry," she answered loftily.
William didn't seem to register the jibe. His dark eyes were alight with something Beth couldn't define. "When did you write it?"
"Um…..it was sort of a progressive work."
William finally grinned at that, circling his arms around Beth and drawing her closer. "I'll be the source of your angst any day, Sweetheart."
"Not likely," she countered. "Pain is good for creativity. Happily ever after, not so much."
"I'll keep that in mind," he whispered, placing a very soft kiss on her lips.
~:~
Half an hour later, William carried Beth to her room, setting her just inside the door and stepping back out. As she leaned against the door, William wondered if she knew how difficult she was making this "being respectable" business. Her eyes were that entrancing combination of dark and bright he'd committed to memory, and her cheeks were flushed with heat.
"I'm going to go take a shower," William informed her, backing down the hall toward the guestroom. "A cold one."
Beth smiled, catching her lower lip in her teeth. The sight made it absolutely necessary for William to turn and all but run.
When William was showered, dried, dressed, and sufficiently de-aroused, he ventured into the kitchen for a drink, meeting Gianna as she came through the front door.
"Hey, kid."
"Hey, are you guys still up?"
William jerked his head toward his bedroom. "Beth went to bed. How was the movie?" He pulled his fingers through his hair self-consciously, feeling slightly warm at the thought of Beth in bed.
"It was okay - pretty sappy, though." Gianna eyed her brother with a shrewd expression.
"What?"
"You're all blotchy." Gianna's eyes lit up. "Are you guys back together?!"
William grinned despite his best efforts.
Gianna leaped up to hug her brother. "Yes! I knew you guys would work it out. She pulled him over to the couch. "Tell me everything."
William gave a detailed narrative up until his apology, chivalrously leaving out the make-out session that followed.
"Who kissed who first?"
William sat up a little straighter, his chin lifted a fraction. "She kissed me."
Gianna giggled. "I'm going to have a sister!"
"Slow down, kiddo. I haven't even asked her yet."
"But you're planning to?!"
William gave his sister a scathing look. "Time for bed, kid. It's late. Tomorrow - I mean today - is going to be a long day."
Gianna sighed like she used to at the end of her favorite Disney movies, hugged William severely, pecked him on the cheek, and floated toward her room.
William frowned slightly. Had he been wrong to tell Gianna? The last thing he wanted was to get her hopes up. Then again, his were already sky high - so there really was no help for either of them.
NUPTIALS
"While I can get any of my acquaintance to marry for me, I shall never think of doing so myself."
~Jane Austen
Beth helped Jenna out of the limo, reminding her to duck her head so as to not ruin the crown of curls that was pinned carefully atop her head. It had been an early morning at the spa, and Beth had slipped out of William's apartment unnoticed. She had even managed to call her own cab, which she would definitely have to brag about later. Fortunately, Jenna was too preoccupied today to notice the way Beth's eyes kept glazing over whenever she remembered William's eyes or the feel of his lips on hers.
After being pushed, pulled, and primped from tresses to toes, Jenna and Beth had finally arrived at the Bradfords'. They had less than an hour to get dressed for the ceremony. Once back inside the guest wing, Beth helped Jenna into her wedding gown. Jenna's teary-eyed mother then took over, her anxious hands fluttering up and down her daughter accompanied by frequent 'oh's' and 'my baby's'. Beth realized that she had spent the whole morning with Jenna, and it was probably the time for her to bow out now, and give Jenna a few minutes alone with her parents.
After sheathing herself in her own gown, Beth left the room with a quiet glance back at her best friend, a staggering sensation of homesickness for Jenna rocking through her.
After making her way down the staircase and out the front door, she paused to take in her surroundings. Next to the bridge a battalion of white-backed chairs stood in neat rows, facing a canopy swathed in breezy white fabric. The chairs were still empty, and none of the wedding party were to be seen. It hadn't taken them as long to get dressed as Beth had anticipated.
She wandered off to the right, guessing that the large porch wrapping around the house would take her through to the back, surprised when she was stopped by a tall, thick hedge. Scowling at the bushes, she turned back to take the long way.
William leaned against the side of the house with his hands in his pockets, watching her, a bemused smile on his lips. Beth felt her nostalgia lift when she saw his face, replaced by a sort of nervous anticipation.
Dang, he looked good in a tux.
~:~
Beth's eyes brightened when she saw William, and she walked into his open arms without the slightest hesitation.
"So you're not wandering the streets after all," he teased against her hair. "I was worried there for a bit."
Beth smiled up at him. "Not even close. I even took a cab," she gloated.
William grinned down at her, wondering if she knew that the sight of her tripled his heart rate. Beth was stunning - there was just no other word for it. Her chin-length hair had been twirled into a mass of cork-screw curls, her eyes had been softly shaded, and her lips were glossed in the same shade as her dress. The strapless top had been topped with a matching shrug, and the skirt billowed and bubbled all the way to the
ground in a purple cloud. He shouldn't know what a sweetheart neckline or a pick-up skirt was; no self-respecting, heterosexual male would. But what did you do when you were cooped up for three months with your sister, whose every whim you were keen to indulge? You watched every blasted episode of Say Yes to the Dress without regard for your manhood. At the time, he'd simply been glad she'd finally given up on A Baby Story.
William's dismal recollections were short-lived, chased away by the vision before him. Drawing her closer, he rested his forehead against hers. "You are heart-stopping," he managed in a broken whisper, and was rewarded by the flush of color in Beth's cheeks. "Smoky plum is definitely your color," he added, then scowled at her mouth. "I don't think it's mine though."
"That's a shame," Beth agreed.
"Maybe later," William murmured, nuzzling her ear. Beth shivered, and he smiled.
"Promise?" she asked with twinkling eyes.
"Count on it," he pledged, moving to her neck.
The moment was choked by a deliberate-sounding cough. When William looked up, he saw that Kara stood rigidly before them, her arms folded and a livid expression on her face.
"Well, well. There you are, Beth. We've been looking everywhere. Nothing worse than an M.I.A. Maid of Honor. I should've guessed you'd be hiding somewhere with the best man."
Kara tried to look pleased with herself, but she emanated defeat. "We're ready to start. Unless you want me to make your excuses to the bride?"
William fully anticipated a well-deserved comeback from Beth. Instead, she simply swallowed whatever retort was on her tongue, smiled, and said "I'm coming," in a polite tone. Then she met William's eyes for a moment before turning and leaving. He hadn't known she was capable of suppressing her witty repartee.
It took a moment before he realized Kara was talking to him.
"……so the wrong color for her, it totally washes her out - I mean, has she never heard of sunless tanner?"
"I'm sorry," William said in his least apologetic voice, "are you talking to me?"
"William, you silly. Of course I am - there's no one else here." She slunk toward him and smoothed the lapels of his tux. "Beth may look less than appealing today, but you, on the other hand, look positively dashing."
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