Andrew blinked at Beulah and then turned his attention to Amy. “I want to pay you both for your help—”
“What?” Amy interrupted him. “Nee. There’s no need for that, Andrew. I want to be here… We want to be here, don’t we, Beulah? I want to do this for Grace.”
Andrew’s eyes misted over. He shook his head. “I appreciate that, Amy. Truly, I do. But I don’t feel right about it. I want to pay you both. It won’t be much, but I insist on it.”
“There’s no need,” Amy repeated. She wanted to burst into tears, and she wasn’t even sure why.
“Maybe not to you. But there’s need to do it for me.” He smiled at them both, and then his face grew serious. “And there’s something else…”
Instant dread caught at Amy. She could tell by the look on his face that it wasn’t good news. “What is it?” she asked, her voice breathless.
“Grace’s folks.” He inhaled deeply. “I’ve heard from Mavis. They don’t expect her dat to make it more than another day or two. After the funeral, they’ll be here as quickly as they can. And of course, she’ll take over Susie’s care.”
Amy’s heart sank. Of course, she had known this was coming; it was inevitable. And it was only right. Susie should have her grandparents here, taking care of her. Still, Amy couldn’t imagine her days without the baby. She’d attached so completely to her, that the child was like her own.
She fought her tears, blinking hard. “Why, isn’t that gut news?” she said, but her voice faltered.
Andrew studied her. “Jah. Gut news.”
Beulah clicked her tongue. “Of course, it’s gut news. Susie will be right happy to have her grandparents here. Of course, if you want us to keep staying for a while, that would be fine.”
Andrew’s eyes were still on Amy, and Amy couldn’t pull her eyes away from him. She tried to read his thoughts, his real feelings about the situation. Was she mistaken, or was he sorry about it? Was he sorry about her leaving?
She sucked in a breath. Well, that would be only natural, wouldn’t it? She did a good job with Susie, and she kept his home running smoothly. Her leaving would be another disruption at an already difficult time.
“Well, that’s all,” he said, pulling his gaze from hers. “I’ll let you know when I hear more.”
“Okay,” Beulah said. She turned the faucet back on and plunged the last stack of dishes into the water.
“Thank you for letting us know,” Amy managed to get out. Her throat felt like a stone had taken up residence. Why should she be so upset? She’d known this was coming. And now, she would have more time to spend with Peter.
Yes. It was good news. Peter would be happy about it, too.
Andrew walked out of the kitchen, and Amy sank down onto a kitchen chair.
Beulah turned the water back off and walked to the table, staring at Amy. Amy gazed up at her. “What?” she said.
“You tell me,” Beulah replied, pulling out another kitchen chair and sitting down. “Seems to me you’re awful sorry about having to leave.”
Amy frowned. “I’ll miss Susie. I’m right fond of her, you know that.”
Beulah raised a brow and nodded. “Of course, I know that. I’m thinking there’s someone else you’re right fond of, too.”
Amy’s chest tightened. “Whatever is that supposed to mean?”
“Come on, Amy. You know what I mean.”
Amy stood—a little too quickly as the chair behind her nearly toppled. “Nee, I don’t know.”
“Good grief, Amy. Sit back down. No need to get in such a huff about it. It’s perfectly natural for you to be fond of Andrew. He’s a nice fellow. And your best friend fell for him, after all.”
Amy was angry now. “That’s enough, Beulah. How can you talk like that?”
Beulah stood up, too. “Quite easily, it turns out.” She shook her head. “I’ve got eyes in my head, sister. I can see things.”
“There ain’t nothing to see!” Amy forced herself to lower her voice. What if Andrew overheard them?
Beulah leaned close. “There’s plenty to see around here. Don’t be so upset about it. It’s not like I’m going to blab things around the district.”
“Beulah,” Amy cried. “There’s nothing to blab.”
“How’s Peter doing?” Beulah asked, all innocence again.
“He-he’s fine.” Amy blinked. Her sister was the most exasperating person she knew. Why did she let Beulah bait her like that? Beulah loved this kind of drama. Why did Amy play right into her hands?
“When do you see Peter again?” Beulah moved back over to the sink.
Amy took a deep breath. “I don’t know. Soon.”
“Gut. He’s awful nice, Amy. Our folks will be right pleased with your choice.”
“It’s not like we’re engaged,” Amy cried, and then gasped. She clamped her hand over her mouth. What in the world was she doing? She was engaged. Where had those words come from?
Beulah’s eyes went wide. “Ach! You are engaged. You are. Amy, that’s wonderful gut news.”
Amy just stood there, blinking.
“Unless… it’s not gut news,” Beulah said slowly, studying Amy.
“There is … no news,” Amy faltered. “Honestly, Beulah, the things you say.”
“It’s all right, you know,” Beulah said softly. “Truly, it is. You can be confused all you like. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” Beulah inhaled sharply. “Despite our entire way of life.”
Amy drew in a shaky breath. “How can you say that, Beulah?”
“Quite easily. It’s the truth. And you know it, even if you don’t dare say so.”
This conversation had gotten totally out of hand. Amy backed away from Beulah. How could her sister even think such things? Why, it went against everything they believed. Amy had always known that Beulah had a rebellious streak, but to question their Amish ways so blatantly?
“Stop looking so shocked,” Beulah said, her tone disgusted. “All I’m saying is, it’s all right to be confused. If you’re engaged to Peter, you can have doubts. It’s normal, I would think. And besides, your best friend just died, didn’t she? You might not be thinking straight.”
Amy’s nostrils flared, and she turned away from Beulah. Suddenly, she felt trapped—like she was being inspected at an auction for purchase, and she had no say in the matter. She gulped. Goodness, but she was being ridiculous. What a thought.
But her sister’s words burrowed into her. You might not be thinking straight. Clearly, she wasn’t. Right now, her thoughts were a complete jumble. And her emotions were no better. She heard a cry from upstairs and practically ran from the room, making her way up to the nursery in record time.
Chapter Four
Andrew stood at his bedroom window looking out over the front yard. It would soon be time for harvest, and from the looks of things, it was going to be a good one. He was grateful. At least, he wouldn’t have financial worries this year. He had plenty enough worries as it was.
So… Mavis and Bart Hershberger would be returning to Hollybrook in the next few days. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He’d always liked Grace’s parents well enough. They were good people. But Mavis could be a little overbearing, and he had a sinking feeling that he was going to see that in full bloom.
Still… They had lost their daughter, so he needed to be patient and merciful. He sucked in a breath. He needed to be patient with himself, too. Grace hadn’t been gone that long and he still missed her with an aching emptiness.
If it hadn’t been for Amy Yoder, he might not have made it. Susie certainly wouldn’t be doing as well as she was. It was no wonder that Amy had been Grace’s best friend. She was a wonderful good person. He didn’t want her to leave. The very thought of Amy leaving was like losing a bit of Grace all over again. He hadn’t realized how much having Amy around had helped him.
But when Mavis and Bart got into town, there would be no need for Amy or her sister to stay. He wondered how
this was going to work. Would Mavis stay with him there? Would Bart move in, too? They’d have to, as far as he could tell. He couldn’t see Bart happy living by himself without Mavis for very long.
And Susie was going to need Mavis’s care for years. Otherwise, how would he be able to work his farm? No matter how he thought about it, he couldn’t see any other possibility. Well, he supposed he could care for her during the nights. Maybe Mavis would only have to come over during the days. Yes. That would work. Maybe, that was the answer.
Still, Mavis had her own household to watch over.
Andrew sighed. He still had a hard time believing that this was his reality now. He’d pretty much gotten over his anger, but he still had a hard time believing that it had happened. That Grace was really gone, never to come back.
He turned and glanced at his bed. He’d taken to sleeping on Grace’s side of the bed. It was comforting somehow; although, her scent was barely detectable anymore. At first, he could smell her in her pillow, and it helped him sleep at night. But now, her scent was mostly gone. It disturbed him, but what could he do about it? He looked at her dresses, still hanging on their pegs. He supposed he should remove them. They bothered him there—it looked too much like Grace was going to walk into the room and put one on any minute. Then, she’d turn to him and smile and begin coiling her hair into a tight bun at the nape of her neck.
He loved to kiss her neck. It was so soft, so warm. And she would giggle because it tickled—but that didn’t stop him from doing it. He smiled at the memory. His eyes misted over, and his throat tightened. Would he ever be able to think of Grace without hurting?
Someday. Surely, someday, he would.
He heard movement coming from the nursery. Then he heard Amy’s gentle voice, crooning to Susie. He hadn’t even heard Susie stirring, but Amy seemed to have a sixth sense where Susie was concerned. Maybe Amy had heard Susie before she even fussed. He laughed softly.
What in the world was Susie going to do without Amy? What was he going to do?
He left his room and went to the nursery. He stood in the open door and watched Amy change Susie’s diaper. Susie was kicking her legs, which for him, made diaper changes challenging. But Amy seemed undisturbed and smoothly took care of it. Then she picked up Susie and turned around.
“Ach! Andrew! I didn’t hear you,” she said, her cheeks turning red.
By her blush, he might have thought he’d caught her doing something wrong. He wondered why she suddenly looked so embarrassed.
“Sorry,” he said. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Nee. Nee. It’s fine. Uh… Did you want to hold Susie?” she asked, not moving from the diaper changing table.
“Well, I could. Jah. That’d be nice.” He entered the room and walked over to them. He reached out and took Susie from Amy’s arms. Oh, he was going to miss Amy. “I… I reckon you’ll be glad to get back home. You know, when Grace’s folks get here.”
Amy hesitated before putting on a smile. “Jah. Of course. And I imagine you’ll be right happy to have them back.”
“I know they’re eager to see little Susie.”
“If I know Mavis, she must be completely over the moon to see her.”
He nodded. And to see Grace’s gravesite, but he didn’t mention that. Somehow the atmosphere between them had turned awkward. Amy fidgeted with the waistband of her apron. Then, she took a deep breath. “Well, I’ll go on back downstairs and get a bottle ready. Come down when you like.”
He nodded. “Thank you, Amy.”
There must have been something in his voice because she paused and looked at him. Something flashed between them, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. His brow crinkled, and a helpless feeling came over him.
“All right,” she said, suddenly business-like. And with that, she left the room.
Chapter Five
Two more days. Two more days. Two more days.
That was the time Amy had left with Susie. That was the time she had left staying in Andrew’s house. Tears filled her eyes at the thought, and she flopped over on her side in the bed.
“Will you stop?” Beulah said with a groan. “Honestly, Amy, I’ve told you before. You’re like a newborn colt in bed … all legs and constantly flopping about. It ain’t time to get up.”
Amy lay still and stared at the ceiling. “But doesn’t it bother you that we have to leave Susie?”
“We’re not leaving her for two more days. I don’t see why you’re in such a fuss about it.” Beulah lightly slugged Amy’s shoulder. “Oh, wait. Of course.”
Amy didn’t like Beulah’s tone. “What?” she demanded, keeping her voice low.
“The real issue isn’t leaving Susie. The real issue is leaving here … leaving Andrew.”
Amy squirmed into a sitting position. “How can you say that? I’m broken-hearted about leaving Susie.”
“I’m sure you are,” Beulah said and yawned. “But you’re just as broken-hearted to be leaving Andrew. I think… Well, you might want to re-think this being engaged thing.”
Amy bit her lip. Didn’t Beulah understand? It wasn’t Andrew. It was Susie. And Grace. When she had to leave, it would be like leaving Grace. Amy felt close to her here. She had secret conversations with Grace here. When she left… It would be over. She just knew it. She’d never feel that closeness to Grace again.
She started to weep silently, tears rolling down her cheek.
“Amy?”
Amy didn’t answer.
Beulah sighed and sat up, scooting back against the headboard. “I’m sorry. You all right?”
Amy looked away but nodded.
“I can’t see you very well, you know,” Beulah said. “Are you crying?”
“Nee,” Amy eked out, but her voice betrayed her.
Beulah slid her arm around Amy’s shoulder, pulling her a close. “It’ll be all right,” Beulah said. “Truly.”
Amy couldn’t believe that her sister was actually comforting her. It made her cry all the harder. She gulped, working to keep quiet.
“Ach, go ahead and wail if it makes you feel better…”
Amy shook her head. “Andrew will hear.”
“So what if he does. You’re allowed your tears.”
Despite all odds, sometimes Beulah made sense. Amy choked out a giggle.
“What? Now you’re laughing?” Beulah said. “In truth, I think you need a vacation or something.” But her voice was light, and Amy could tell that she was smiling.
Amy sniffed hard and sat back upright. “Thank you, Beulah,” she said.
Beulah gave a low whistle. “Who would have thought it? You and me getting along.” She snorted playfully. “Will wonders never cease?”
Amy shook her head. “You’re awful, you know that?”
“Oh, I know. And if I forget, someone will remind me.” But she didn’t sound annoyed.
Amy grabbed her hand. “Really,” she said. “Thank you.”
“Amy?”
“Jah.”
“I wasn’t kidding about you re-thinking this being engaged business.”
Amy drew in a slow breath. “I know you weren’t. But I love Peter. I’ve been waiting forever for him to propose to me.”
“Maybe so. But still…”
“There’s nothing between me and Andrew,” Amy stated. “I know you keep implying that there is, but there isn’t. All that’s between us is Grace. My best friend and his wife. That’s what’s between us.”
“All right. If you say so,” Beulah said, her voice thick with skepticism.
“I do say so,” Amy replied.
“All right,” Beulah said again. “Now, can we go back to sleep?”
Amy smiled. “Fine. I’ll be quiet.”
They both wiggled down beneath the quilt again.
“Amy?”
“Jah.”
“I’m not a bad listener, you know.”
Amy smiled into the darkness. “Nee,” she agreed. “You’re not a bad listener
at all.”
* * *
Amy hurried down Andrew’s drive. Peter was waiting for her—they’d made arrangements earlier that afternoon to take a walk together. Amy hadn’t wanted anyone to know, but it didn’t turn out that way.
“So, Amy,” Beulah announced during supper, “you going for a stroll this evening?’
Amy had flashed her a look of annoyance, but Beulah had played innocent, or ignorant, one or the other. “I saw Peter here earlier, and I figured you’d be out with him this evening.”
Evidently, the tender moment Amy had spent with her sister in the middle of the night meant nothing. Beulah was back to her most obnoxious self.
Andrew watched their interchange. Amy tried not to keep glancing his way, but she couldn’t help it.
“It should be nice and warm,” Beulah went on. “Tell Peter hello from me.” She looked at Andrew. “From you, too, I imagine.”
Andrew looked startled to be brought into the conversation. “Jah. Jah. Of course. Tell Peter hello from me, too.”
He was looking at Amy now, his gaze somewhat intense. Amy squirmed. Drat her sister.
“I’ll tell him hello,” Amy finally got out.
She gave Beulah another dirty look, but Beulah was gazing down at her plate a meatloaf and potatoes with a pleased look on her face.
Just thinking about the episode made Amy disgusted. But then, why should she be so upset about Andrew knowing she was walking out with Peter?
The gravel beneath her feet crunched as she neared the end of the drive. Andrew would know soon enough about her engagement to Peter. The whole district would know. So, why was she so upset? It was as if Beulah was going out of her way to let Andrew know about her and Peter. And since Peter had shown up twice at the house already, Amy was sure he already knew.
Still. She was uncomfortable with it. And more than a little annoyed with her sister.
“Amy!” Peter called, waving her over. “You’re here.”
“Hello, Peter,” she said, joining him.
“It’s lovely out tonight, don’t you think?”
She nodded.
Susie's Mammi (Amy's Story Book 2) Page 2