The result had been some draconian laws concerning the rights of citizens to control their own slaves. Even the highest magistrates had no power to compel the testimony of slaves without the cooperation of their masters. At this time, it was political death to accept slave testimony save under the most stringent conditions.
"Marcus Tullius," I said, "the boy's father, the Numidian Gaeto, is looking for an advocate. Might you be interested in taking the case?"
Quintus nudged him. "Why not? It's been a while since you've argued in court, big brother. This would be an exercise of some long-disused muscles."
But Cicero shook his head. "No, it is unthinkable. Oppressed provincials are one thing, but for Cicero to defend a slaver's son? I am sorry, Decius, but it would be unseemly. The boy may be innocent, as you believe, but I could not take a hand in this."
I was disappointed, and I could see that Quintus and Tiro felt the same. This was another example of the self-importance that Cicero suffered from in his later days. The Cicero I had known in his younger days would have taken the case on just for fun.
He correctly interpreted our expressions. "Of course, I shall be more than happy to consult with his defense attorney. I am certain that a properly eloquent defense will persuade the jury to acquit."
"Even if he's guilty," Quintus muttered.
"I'm afraid," I said, "that a jury here is likely to be heavily weighted with Greeks, and the priest has great prestige in the Greek community. Also, I think many of the local men had a more than moderate fondness for the girl."
"Nothing a rousing speech can't fix," Cicero assured me. "Any idea who this man Gaeto has hired?"
"Is old Aulus Galba still around?" Quintus asked. "He's said to have the best legal mind south of Rome."
"As I understand it," I said, "he was one of last year's duumviri, so he's probably tight with that lot. There are about ten families in these parts who take the duumvirate in rotation."
"I suppose he's out, then," said Cicero. "Well, there must be somebody suitable."
"I'm sure there must be," I told him. "So you've petitioned for a triumph?" Behind Cicero, Quintus rolled his eyes while Tiro made a careful study of his fingers, folded on the table before him. Clearly, this was another of Cicero's late-life eccentricities. He had been sent out to Syria as governor with the task of repelling a Parthian incursion. Cicero was a lawyer and pure politician, the unlikeliest soldier Rome could have sent. He detested military life as much as I did, yet here he was, trying to vie with the likes of Caesar in celebrating a triumph. This for some doubtful successes after young Cassius had already taken care of the serious fighting.
"Exactly," Cicero said with his customary certitude. "All the prerequisites have been accomplished, all the legalities observed; the Senate has no just cause to deny me a triumph."
"I am sure," I told him. I revered Cicero, and was willing to overlook his sometimes startling character flaws. I, for one, was certain that the man who could decisively whip the Parthians had not yet been born in Rome. If the Senate granted him a triumph, it would be an indication that their standards had fallen considerably.
With promises of future visits, reciprocal dinner parties, and legal consultations in the forum, our meeting broke up. With my little following I set out for the villa.
"You could have hoped for more help from Cicero," Marcus said as he walked along beside my litter.
"I could have, but times have changed."
"You've done him plenty of favors in the past," Hermes grumped. "I could see that Quintus and Tiro wanted to help out."
"I'm not sure they or anyone else could have," I mused, my mind wandering.
"What's that?" Marcus asked.
"He's going into one of his moods again," Hermes informed him. "No use talking to him now."
I had a great deal on my mind, and my ruminations weren't improved when we reached the villa and Julia got her claws into me.
"You just had to get together with that slaver's slut, didn't you?" she began while I was still halfway in my litter.
"Slut? She may be a perfectly virtuous wife, for all we know."
"Spare me. We'll have this out later. For now, we're about to have dinner with the dictator of Stabiae and his wife and some other dignitaries of that town. Do gather up your gravitas and try to be both presentable and coherent." She did me an injustice. Since donning the purple-bordered toga I had made a special effort to moderate my drinking and avoid loose speech. It was no use pointing this out to Julia.
In the event, the dinner was a success. For the record, in towns like Stabiae, Lanuvium, and some others the dictator was simply the senior magistrate. He had nothing like the powers of a true Roman dictator. Despite all the problems occupying my thoughts, I made sure to be witty and charming, things that have usually come easily to me.
When the last healths had been drunk and the guests helped into their litters and sent on their way with presents and good wishes, Julia resumed her interrogation, but she was somewhat mollified by my excellent behavior.
"All right," she said as we relaxed in one of the villa's imposing im-pluvia, "what did you learn from her?"
"I'm not sure I learned anything, but I heard a lot. Let me tell you and see what you think." I gave her the story Jocasta had told me and Julia's expression was more than skeptical.
"This makes no sense," she said when my recitation was done. "These are people with everything to lose. Why would they participate in some crackbrained conspiracy against Rome?"
"My own thought," I told her. "And while the Greeks are well-known political morons, I doubt that even Greeks could seriously entertain the idea that some old colonies might gain permanent independence from Rome and that this could be a desirable thing. So what is really go-mg on?
"I have no idea, but I am cheered to learn that you weren't utterly besotted by the woman's immodest dress and more than abundant flesh. I've known you to be distracted by these things before."
"I won't deny it. But I'm a serious man these days. I am a Roman praetor and such men as I do not succumb to the temptations of loose women."
"Hah! If that's true, you are unique among Roman magistrates of our generation." She rolled close and wrapped an arm around my waist. "And if you are suddenly so dignified, why are you going around questioning suspects? That's a freedman's job."
"Do you think Jocasta would have spoken to Hermes as she spoke to me?"
"Probably not. But only because you are the one she wants to deceive. The questions are: Why the deception and what is the real story? What is she covering?"
"And for whom?" I said.
"The obvious answer is her husband," Julia speculated. "It is probably he who is up to something, not the others."
"How does this help Gelon?" I demanded.
"Perhaps she doesn't want to help Gelon," Julia said.
This brought me up short. "She doesn't want to help him?"
"Why should she? She isn't his mother. She may have children of her own she wants Gaeto to favor. She may be pregnant. It's not unknown for a subsequent wife to edge other wive's children out in favor of her own."
"I hadn't thought of that," I admitted. "I've been going on the assumption that she wants to protect her husband and his son."
Julia gave my waist a little squeeze. "This is why you married me," she said, "to think of these things that tend to escape you."
I pondered for a while. "That necklace."
"What about it?" Julia asked.
"It bothers me. The girl went out in her best jewelry. Why didn't she wear that necklace?"
"You see? My subtlety has rubbed off on you. My guess is that the necklace was the gift of a different lover. She wouldn't have worn it to meet the one who hadn't given it."
"So which lover was the poet?"
"Need it have been one of them? Why not a third?"
"Why must things be so complicated? And just how many affairs could that girl have concealed from her father?"
"M
en can be selectively blind," she pointed out. "Women rarely are. I've been studying the poems. I am all but convinced that the writer is Greek, not a Roman writing in Greek. There are giveaways in the use of the two languages."
"I'll defer to you in this. Your command of Greek is far better than mine."
"And there's something else about it-I can't quite put my finger on it, but I think it will reveal itself with further study."
For Julia to express herself with less than full certitude was unusual, so I did not press her over this tantalizing hint.
The next morning I made it my business to locate Gaeto. As I sat through another morning of desultory cases in court, Hermes was away, in search of the Numidian slaver.
The last case of the morning involved my companion of the Pompei-ian amphitheater, Diogenes. Standing as his citizen patron was Manius Silva. I had a feeling that I was soon to learn what I had been bribed for.
The bailiff announced, "Suit is brought against Diogenes the Cretan by the perfumer Lucius Celsius. The charge is fraud and unfair business practices."
A dispute between scent peddlers was not quite on a level with struggles for world dominion in the Senate, but I seemed to have a personal stake in this matter, so I bade them continue. The men involved took the usual oaths.
"Celsius," I said when the formalities were done, "what is the nature of the charge you bring against Diogenes?"
"This Greekling," Celsius said, pointing a skinny finger at the man, "this perfidious Cretan, has been counterfeiting some of the costliest scents in the world, concocting them from cheap ingredients and selling them at the highest price!" The man shook with indignation, probably for the benefit of the jury. He was a painfully thin, balding man of about forty years, and from the smell of him he dipped his toga in his own wares.
"Diogenes, what have you to say?" I asked.
Manius Silva stepped forward. "As the citizen patron of Diogenes, I will answer these charges, noble Praetor. The splendid Diogenes is honest and blameless, as all citizens of Baiae are quite aware, and he speaks only the truth."
Here there was muffled laughter from the many bystanders. To hear a Cretan described as honest, blameless, and truthful was a rare joke.
"Order, there," shouted my chief lictor. The mirth subsided and Roman justice resumed its progress.
"Each of you will have his say," I proclaimed. "But I don't intend to waste the rest of the day hearing a wrangle over perfume. This trade, I remind you, is strictly regulated by the sumptuary laws, which are being rigorously enforced this year. Each of you has until the fall of a single ball to state his case."
I nodded to the court timekeeper, and the old slave pulled the plug on his water clock. This clever device released water at a measured rate and, by a subtle mechanism, dropped steel balls at regular intervals. These fell into a brazen dish, making a loud clatter.
"Celsius," I said, "you may begin."
The man cleared his throat ostentatiously and withdrew a roll of papyrus from the folds of his toga and opened it. "The lying, counterfeiting Cretan rogue Diogenes, in violation of the most sacred rules of the Brotherhood of Narcissus, the ancient guild of perfumers, has brazenly concocted a number of the costliest scents, using cheap and inferior ingredients, and passing off these noisome substances as genuine, sells them at the full price, as regulated by the-" he made a half turn and bowed in my direction "-sumptuary laws." This raised a laugh.
"The scents thus falsified include those known as Pharaoh's Delight, Babylonian Lilac, Tears of the Moon, Zoroaster's Rapture, Milk from Aphrodite's Breast, Gardens of Ninevah, Illyrian Blossom,-"
"Enough," I told him. "We don't need a whole roster of the smells that drive us poor husbands to bankruptcy. Why do you believe that Diogenes has been counterfeiting these fragrances, which, I hear, are largely made of things like whale vomit and afterbirths and anal glands and other revolting substances."
He rerolled his papyrus with a frown. "Sir, that is base calumny. Ambergris, for instance, has almost no scent of its own. It merely stabilizes-"
"I don't want to hear perfumer's shoptalk!" I barked. "I want to hear
evidence!"
"Well, then. Certain persons in my employ have told me that, secretly, Diogenes buys up great loads of flower petals, lemon peel, cedar oil, and other fragrant but common substances and in a kitchen of his manufactory blends them with distilled wine and pure oil until he achieves an approximation of the great perfumes, at least close enough to deceive the nose of one unskilled in perfumery."
"And who told you this?" I demanded.
"Certain persons employed in this nefarious process."
Silva leapt to his feet. "Praetor, I object! The word of suborned slaves is worthless!"
"Sit down," I said. "You shall have your turn presently. Celsius, the word of suborned slaves is worthless. You'll have to do better than that."
He sputtered. "What sort of evidence would satisfy you, Praetor?"
"You don't have to satisfy me," I told him, "but you must satisfy this jury." I waved a hand toward the eighty or ninety men who sat on benches looking bored. Under the Sullan constitution these were all equites with a minimum property assessment of four hundred thousand sesterces. In reality, I suspected that they would rather see a bribe than evidence, but I wasn't going to let it be that way.
"Perhaps," I said, "you might produce some of this fake perfume and explain to us how it differs from the real thing."
"I–I did not come prepared for this!"
"That was thoughtless of you."
"Besides, Praetor, you are not a perfumer. How would you know the
difference?"
"If it takes a professional to tell the difference between real and fake," I demanded, "why are we paying so much money for this stuff?"
He almost yelled an answer, caught himself, then went on in a reasonable tone. "Praetor, we have wandered rather far from the matter of this lawsuit."
"I suppose so," I admitted. "I could bring my wife. She has an infallible nose for perfume."
"Praetor-" Just then the ball fell into the dish with a resounding clang. "This is not just!" he squawked. "I did not get to present my case!"
"We'll let Diogenes have his say anyway," I said. "If you're in luck, he'll bungle it worse than you did. Silva, have you engaged an advocate?"
He stood and adjusted his toga grandly. "Hardly necessary, Praetor. If it meets with your approval, I shall speak on behalf of my friend Diogenes."
"You don't need my approval. If you are prepared, speak up." I nodded to the timekeeper and he restarted the water clock.
"First, Praetor, judges of Baiae, and good men of the jury, allow me to point out that this man Celsius is a jealous business rival of Diogenes, so his testimony is suspect from the first word. Why would he bring suit against Diogenes unless he was losing business to my friend?
"The truth is that Diogenes offers these famous perfumes to the public not at an inflated price but rather at a lower price than other perfumers can profitably accept. They imagine that he can do this only by counterfeiting, but in fact it is because he is a far better businessman than they."
He made an expansive gesture toward the audience. "While these men sit here in Baiae, overseeing their slaves and enjoying the comforts of our lovely city, Diogenes spends a full half of every year in perilous travel, braving the wine-dark sea, the wind-driven sands of Ethiopia and Arabia, the savage inhabitants of far-flung lands, all to seek out the best purveyors of rare and costly perfumes and those obscure ingredients that go into the scents we blend, quite openly and honestly, for our domestic production.
"By thus taking the dangers, privations, and hardships upon himself, by not trusting middlemen and not paying their exorbitant fees, he is able to effect a considerable saving in each year's outlay, savings he is able to express in lower prices for his wares. Is this dishonest? No, the dishonesty is in the envy and resentment of his rivals and these, Romans all, hope to sway the jury by attack
ing his Cretan origins. But I know that my fellow citizens are not persuaded by this calumnious slander.
"And as for those 'persons in his employ,' as he so delicately puts it, will a slave not lie for a few coins? Will a slave not sell out his master if offered the chance? Does the old saying not warn us, 'You have as many enemies as you have slaves'? That Celsius even stoops to such a practice is proof of his villainy!"
With the last word the ball clanged into the dish and the audience applauded, jury included. He'd done extremely well. I might have been persuaded myself, had they not already tried to bribe me.
"There we have it," I announced. "There is no solid evidence in this case, just the arguments of two business rivals. Diogenes may be guilty of counterfeiting, but to this I say, what of it? As far as I am concerned, if you can't tell the difference between one scent and another, and you pay an exorbitant price just for its name, then you're an idiot and deserve to be fleeced.
"As for Celsius, any Roman citizen who can't outwit a Cretan is a poor credit to the descendants of Romulus. All in all, this whole case is an unworthy waste of time. That's just my opinion, though. The decision rests with you worthy equites of Baiae, who, I am certain, will render judgment in the highest traditions of Roman justice. Do keep in mind that, if Diogenes has tried to bribe you with samples of his perfume, he may have used counterfeit."
With this I sat back in my curule chair while everyone gaped, then chattered in low voices. Apparently I had satisfied nobody, and that suited me perfectly. I affected nonchalance while the local magistrates coached the jury and all the rest babbled among themselves. I wondered whether the scents I had been given were real or fake. If fake, Julia was going to be infuriated. The five thousand sesterces had been real, though. I suspected that Diogenes and Silva were wondering whether it had been well spent.
The jury retired into the basilica to debate and, no doubt, to compare bribes. I passed the time in idle conversation with the city magistrates and my own legal experts. My stomach was grumbling, but it would have created a public scandal for a praetor sitting on his curule chair to have lunch right in front of everybody. Sometimes, I think, we carry grav-itas too far.
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