Tanzi: Wanna go dancing tonight? Tx
It was Friday, I was in Los Angles, I was single, I was Australian…hell yeah I’ll go dancing.
The noise, energy and overpowering warmth of Delights hit Tanzi and me as we walked in. Located in Hollywood, it was a new club that had a hot reputation according to Tanzi. The music was pumping through my body as my eyes tried to take everything in. The club was cramped with beautiful people—women wearing designer dresses, men immaculately groomed with the look of success in their eyes. I clutched Tanzi’s hand and I knew this club was going to be the perfect distraction.
We made our way to a corner booth—far enough away from the DJ to be able to talk yet close enough to the bar to be able to drink. I looked at Tanzi, who was looking impeccable as usual. Her hair was tightly secured at the top of her head in a bun and she had the perfect smoky makeup going on, which accentuated the intensity of her blue eyes. She was one of those friends you disliked because she was so gorgeous.
“Have you spoken to Tate?” Tanzi yelled as her eyes skimmed the cocktail menu. I was eyeing the bartender, deciding on his possibility and suitability. Definitely a possibility. I spun my head toward her, confused that she would bring him up.
“Nope.” I shook my head, turning back toward the bartender.
“You should call him.”
“I’m not calling him, Tanzi. I know he’s your brother, but he is an arse. He can easily pick up the phone and call me.”
I walked through the bar, bumping into people as I made my way to the cocktail lounge. The six-inch heels made me feel like I was some kind of goddess. The emerald green dress that I had chosen was tight but sophisticated and the color made the blondeness of my hair pop under the bright lights. I felt amazing and sexy. A dangerous combination.
I waited at the bar, tapping my nails on the wooden bar top while staring at the bartender. My phone buzzed in my hand.
Tate: Jack and I are going to Red Velvet, I think you and Tanzi should come down
Me: Nope
Tate: God you are stubborn
Me: And you are an arse
Tate: I love when you talk dirty to me
I giggled as I read his message. His cockiness truly was what legends were made of.
Tate: I am going to call you in ten minutes, if you don’t answer, I’ll come down there. I’ve got something I need to say to you.
I read his message over and over again. I narrowed in on his words and my eyes flashed to Tanzi, who was looking at me as guilty as sin. Her eyes darted from mine as soon as she saw me looking and she shifted in her seat, looking everywhere but me. I paid for our cocktails and stormed back to the table, her eyes still not meeting mine.
“Did you call Tate?”
“No.”
“Tanzi!”
“I sent him a text; it’s two completely different things. Don’t get mad at me. I don’t want either of you to fuck this up. I’m giving you both a little push in the right direction.”
I started to object but the vibration in my lap pulled me away.
“You said you’d call in ten minutes, it’s only been seven minutes. You really need to learn how to tell the time.”
“What’s so wrong with me, Sav?”
“What?”
“What’s so wrong with me?” Tate repeated. I took a deep breath, knowing full well that he wasn’t going to let this go.
“It’s not you, it’s me.” I cannot believe I used that line.
He scoffed and I knew he would have been rolling his eyes. “You did not just use that line on me.”
“It’s not a line, Tate. I don’t do relationships, I don’t do getting close to people, I don’t do this. I broke every rule I made with you, and now my heart and my head are in a fierce battle over you.”
“You know what, Sav? I don’t do relationships either—until you barged in and made me question everything. You can keep telling yourself that you don’t feel anything for me, but I know, you know, everyone knows what’s going on. I want to be able to come over after work and hang out. I want to take you out for ice cream and to the movies. I want to hold your hand whenever I want. I want to be able to tell my mom that I’ve finally opened my heart again. I want to be able to kiss you without being afraid that it will be the last time you ever let me kiss you.”
And then he hung up.
I lifted my eyes from my phone to see Tanzi looking at me with wide eyes. “Sav, you’re crying.”
I touched my cheeks and pulled my fingertips away; she was right, I was crying.
“Sav, what happened? Why don’t you get close to people? What happened the night of the launch?” Tanzi asked, placing her hand on my arm in comfort.
“I’m not who you think I am. I’m messed up Tanzi, completely and utterly screwed up.” I dropped my face in my hands and cried. I cried for my parents, I cried for Corey, I cried for the childhood I never had, I cried for my heart and I cried for the feelings I couldn’t deny that I had for Tate.
“Babe, talk to me. You’re scaring me.” Tanzi’s voice begged me for answers and I knew she deserved them.
“This is what I do, T. I can’t let anyone in, I can’t open up to anyone and I can’t love anyone. I shut everyone out as soon as they get close. I don’t want to depend on anyone, I don’t want to care about anyone, I don’t want to rely on anyone. My parents died when I was ten and it completely destroyed me, some days I don’t even know who I am. My first boyfriend killed himself when I was eighteen and he blamed me in his letter and I refused to let myself feel again. His mum emailed me the day of the launch and you saw me after I read it. I am scared of getting close to anyone because I am scared they will leave just like everyone else I’ve loved. I find comfort in random men, Tanzi. It’s what I’ve done since I was eighteen. Call me a slut. Call me a whore because it’s what I deserve.” I could feel a new rush of tears begging to escape and my throat constrict in the reality of the situation.
“But then Tate came along, your brother is all I think about and he is driving me crazy. This isn’t me, Tanzi. I’m not this girl. I don’t fall for guys, but the more I think of Tate, the more I feel, and it’s scaring me. I promised myself never again, but I didn’t think I’d meet someone like your brother. We aren’t good for each other.”
“You are allowed to feel again, Sav. You are allowed to open your heart to possibilities. You are a survivor but you need to be vulnerable too. Your heart needs to love without any hesitation, it deserves that; you deserve that. You are allowed to love and be loved. I honestly think you and Tate could be the best thing that could ever happen to each other.”
Tanzi’s words and Tate’s confession were swimming around in my head as we stumbled out of the club, holding each other for support in search of a cab. Tanzi wanted to go to Red Velvet to continue partying; I, however, thought this was a very bad idea. I was dangerously drunk and now I was going to be seeing Tate.
“Honey, we’re home,” Tanzi yelled as we stumbled toward Tate and Jack, who were sitting in our usual seats at Red Velvet. They both had low glasses in front of them, and Tate was wearing jeans and a white V-neck shirt and looking way too enticing. Tanzi and I both laughed hysterically at her words. We thought we were comedians.
“Oh fucking hell, here’s trouble.” Jack laughed as Tanzi flopped down into his lap and I couldn’t help but giggle.
Why the fuck was I giggling? I was way too drunk.
“Let’s have shots! Who wants shots?” I squealed. I hadn’t looked at Tate and he hadn’t said a word to me. His gaze penetrated the air though, and I knew those damn blue eyes would be on full display. I stumbled through the room, propped myself up against the main bar and tapped my foot impatiently.
I felt the air behind me shift in a way that only he could make it.
Arms snaked around my waist and I was pulled toward a chiselled chest, causing my body to shudder in pleasure. Just knowing he was this close was dangerous.
My eyes fluttered closed an
d all I could do was sigh. “Do you provide this service to all of your customers?” I felt myself moving closer to him, craving the warmth I knew his body offered. I was losing control.
“Just the pretty blonde ones from Australia,” he murmured into my ear. I could smell the scotch lingering on his breath and it set me on fire.
No sooner had he spoken, he spun me around and I was now sitting on the stool with my knees between his legs. His legs closed on mine and he had me locked in. He drew one of his hands to my face and my eyes closed as he pushed my hair behind my ear. I didn’t know what was happening, all I knew was that we were in the middle of his packed bar and we weren’t hiding a thing.
“Did you think about what I said? I want to be with you, fuck, I will keep playing these games with you if you want but I won’t stop.” I gasped as I felt him move closer, his breath grazing my cheek.
My eyes sprang open; my gaze matching his, my voice just above a whisper. “You are very persistent.”
“You look beautiful tonight,” he whispered before leaning in barely an inch from my face, his lips softly resting on mine, “and I love that color on your lips.”
“Shame I didn’t wear it for you.” I winked and pushed on his chest so I could get off the bar stool. “I wonder who would like it around here.” I pretended to gaze around the bar looking for suitors knowing full well that he was smirking at me. “Oh, there’s one.” I pointed to a balding regular who was slumped against the bar.
“Fuck, Savannah!” He laughed. “I’m going to marry you one day. You are too much.” His laugh continued to boom around me as he grabbed my arm and swung be back toward him. In an instant, he had shattered the distance I had desperately placed between us. I was obscenely drunk, he was tantalizingly drunk and as usual, he was looking too sexy for words. It was a very bad combination.
“You are crazy and really drunk!” I snorted and shook my head, amused. He was such a player. I released my hand from his arm and took a step away from him to try and stop the ever-growing temptation to devour him.
He mimicked my swift movements, blocking me with his towering body. The way his heart was beating against my chest was shattering all my defenses. “What?” he asked with his famous panty-dropping smirk. “Why do you think I’m crazy?”
Tate’s eyes travelled to my lips, while his tongue licked his bottom lip seductively. He knew all the moves. Tate ever so slowly dropped his face to mine, never breaking eye contact with me. I wanted those lips on mine; I needed that bottom lip to be between my teeth. I needed the feel of the stubble on his chin massage my skin.
My body stiffened as his strong arm wrapped around my middle and his hand lay on the small of my back. His arms were like a security blanket around my melting body, and I couldn’t deny what my body wanted any longer. My arms slid under his and sat on his hips. I clutched his shirt, bunching it in my fists just enough to be able to feel an inkling of his skin.
“Do you go around telling everyone you are going to marry them? Is that your trick to get girls into your bed? I am on to you Tate Connors”
Tate inched his face to mine, his eyes dropping to my lips again. I couldn’t handle this. “You are the one and only,” he said as his lips grazed mine lightly as he spoke. We stood in silence, our lips tenderly resting on each other’s but neither one making the first move. I felt his lips turn up into a smile and then he pulled his face from mine.
“So yeah, I’m Tanzi’s brother and it was just one night so I better go,” he taunted with a wink. I looked at him open-mouthed and with a body on fire. Tate turned away from me and strutted, wiggling his arse as if he knew I was looking.
“I don’t marry arseholes!” I yelled after him with a giggle.
He turned and yelled back at me with smiling eyes. “Well, I don’t marry teases!”
Chapter Sixteen
American football had to be one of the most confusing sports I’ve ever watched. I had no idea what it was about. Tate had invited me to watch football with him, Tanzi, Jack and a friend of his called Jeff, who I’d never met and of course I had to go.
“Who is that hot piece of ass?” Jeff groaned in my direction as I walked through the apartment toward the kitchen to fill up the snack bowl. I looked at Jack, who was sitting on the couch in the living room, and felt my cheeks flush.
Jack winked at me. “That’s Tate’s chick.”
Tate’s chick.
“Since when has he had a chick? Doesn’t he usually just bang them and be done?”
“This one is different, really different.”
I looked back at Jack with questioning eyes. The smirk on his face and the truth in his eyes made me smile. I jumped at the sound of Tanzi yelling obscenities at the television. She was dressed head to toe in the colors of the San Diego Chargers and was thoroughly disgusted when I turned up wearing a dress. I filled up the bowl with crisps and walked back to the living room and slumped down on the couch beside Jack and narrowed my eyes on the television.
“Just saying it how it is, gorgeous.” Jack kissed me on the cheek and focused back on the television.
I listened to the commentary and got completely lost. They were talking about touchdowns, defense and Hail Mary’s—what the hell was that?
“Sav, the look on your face is priceless,” Jack teased.
“Shut up, I don’t have a clue what’s going on. At least our players don’t have to wear padding. Our players are as tough as nails—no padding, no protection, just brawn.” I cocked an eyebrow in Jack’s direction.
Jack stood from his seat and glared down at me with hands on hips, his lips tugging into a smile. “Don’t you dare tease our players. You are in my country now, woman.”
“Aussie through and through, my friend.”
“You asked for this!” Jack launched himself at me and tickled me relentlessly. I squirmed and shrieked in my seat as his fingers tormented my ribs and stomach. I thrashed and tried to get out of his grasp while everyone was laughing and cheering around us.
“Get! Off! Me!” I squealed, swinging my arms around and kicking my legs like a rabid animal.
“You two bicker like a couple of children!” Tate laughed as he walked through the front door after finishing his shift at Red Velvet. “I could hear you screaming from the hall.”
“Ahhh, I’m the first one to make her scream! I’ve got one up on you, Connors.” Jack beamed from the floor, raising his fists in victory. I felt my cheeks flush the moment he said it. Jack’s eyes went wide when he noticed my clear sign of embarrassment.
“YOU TWO HAVE HAD SEX!”
I looked at Tate in astonishment. This was new information to Jack. Tate hadn’t said a word to him. My heart swelled to out-of-this-world proportions. Tate wasn’t one of those guys who spread all the sordid sex tales; well, at least it seemed that he wasn’t with me. Tate’s eyes smiled at me from across the room.
“Who’s winning?” he asked no one in particular
“The one in the tight Lycra,” I snorted, causing the guys around me to chuckle.
“This one is a keeper, Tate. If you don’t keep her, I will,” Jeff laughed from the floor. I really didn’t like this guy.
“Yeah, I plan to keep her once she stops being so damn stubborn.”
“Stubborn is my middle name. Savannah Stubborn Rae.”
“Well, persistent is my middle name. Tate Persistent Connors.”
Tate left the living room and the sound of the shower echoed through the apartment. I sat back on the couch with my beer and felt like I was some kind of imposter. One: I didn’t like beer; two: I had no idea what I was watching and three: I couldn’t focus on anything but the thought of Tate in the shower. I was one hopeless girl.
How had I not noticed that photo? My eyes zoomed in on a photo taking pride of place on the mantel. It showed Tanzi, Jack, Tate and me laughing and taking a selfie. I couldn’t help but smile while my mind ticked over when it was taken.
“It was taken last night,” Tate breathed in
to my ear. I shivered at the contact and looked at him over my shoulder. God, he was delicious. “I got it printed today.”
He strutted across the living room and squeezed in beside Tanzi on the one-seater and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. I saw Jack looking at them with a beaming smiling.
“This is what they do; it’s their ritual. They sit like that at the beginning of every game. In a selfish way, I’m glad you are on the scene now… I felt like I was a part of a fucked-up threesome sometimes with those two. Another one of the joys of dating a twin but now we can be the awesome foursome!”
I burst out laughing, causing everyone to look at me. Jack definitely had a way with words. I smiled at Tanzi and Tate and my laugh boomed harder when Jack mimicked Tate and Tanzi and pulled me toward him. Tate shook his head and turned his attention back to the television. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. As if the lioness woke within me, my confidence soared, my desire for him ignited and I was selfish, I needed him for myself. I grabbed my phone and made sure the screen was out of Jack’s line of sight.
Me: I’m going outside to make a call
Tate: you can make a call in here
Me: Not this type of call
Tate: Uh ok
Me: It’s going to be a hot one. I’m not sure if Tanzi would want to see
I looked up from my phone and my eyes burned into his. Biting my bottom lip, I dropped my eyes to my phone when I felt it vibrate.
Tate: You are playing a dangerous game
Me: Maybe I’m a game that wants to be played.
“I’ll be right back. I need to make a call,” I said quickly, not even thinking of the consequences, not caring about what I was doing. Tanzi mumbled something in reply, Jack didn’t look in my direction and Jeff made a sexist comment about the cheerleaders. My absence would not be noticed.
I walked through the apartment, excitement and need bubbling inside of me. I opened the sliding door and slipped out onto the balcony. There was crispness in the air, which only fuelled my excitement and reacted with the heat of my body. My body was ready for him, my heart was slowly opening to him and I couldn’t resist him anymore. I knew it was now or never.
Just Breathe Page 12