He left and my life seemed brighter. He was coming over. It’s not like every time we’re together I pine. He is in all truth my best friend. Having him around is comforting and sometimes I just need it. Most the time I’m not even considering wanting him any other way. Tonight I think it’s 50/50. I want him and I need him.
“Hey, girls!” I said to my class. They all gave me a heyyy and got in position.
I didn’t tell Moses that at six I was going on a date. I went home from the studio, stripped, showered and dressed.
Most people complain about their looks but I’m actually very content with what the gods saw fit to bestow. I love the color of my hair. The gold masses of curls hide me when I want and make me look anything from elegant to casual.
My skin being copper makes the hair a complementing feature even if it is highly unusual and my lips are so pink sometimes I don’t need lipstick.
I like the memorable green I hear my father gave me. The only complaint I have is that they’re big. My eyes are big.
I’m also all legs. I have very long legs but my butt is nice whereas my boobs are B cups. Tiny. Good for dancing though.
I got a call from my foster sister Brianna while I was doing makeup so I set her up on speaker phone. Brianna has luscious red hair and a quirky personality that I adore.
I answered, “you lock it, we pop it. Chloe’s Locksmiths.”
She laughed forever then, “hello my lovely sister,” she said.
I smiled and applied shadow to my eyes. “Hello, Gorgeous. How was your exam?”
“Ugh, I failed. Maybe I should sleep with my professor.” She teased.
I almost got myself in the eye. “No! God girl have some pride.”
“I’m just kidding. Although if he’s fugly I wouldn’t know being blind and all. What are you up to?”
I glossed my lips so they’d stay pink. “Going on a date.”
“Ew, it’s not Brandon, is it? The guy you met when you went to get Goliath’s flea meds? Girly he’s a creeper.”
“He was filling in for Goliath’s vet. He’s not a creeper. He’s a handsome guy.”
“He’s not Moses. Date Moses.”
I lined my eyes while I considered an answer. “He’s my buddy.”
“Make him your sex buddy.”
I laughed. “Let’s not do this again. Please?”
“Ever think that if you tell him how you feel you’ll actually walk away with a good man?”
I put in my black earrings and matching bead bracelet. “I can’t keep men long. If I lost Moses for something stupid like a sexual relationship I would never forgive myself. I need him in my life. He’s like part of me. Nothing is worth that.”
She groaned in my ear. “Fine, pretend with these idiots you date and I’ll not say a word, not one single word. Now tell me what you’re wearing.”
I smiled and put on the long silver necklace with a black stone at the end before checking the grip of my thigh high nylons. “Remember the bright orange dress with the black blazer I told you about?”
“Oh snap! I wish I could see it. Send a picture and I’ll feel up my phone.”
I laughed but not a happy one. Brianna is blind and she’s oddly okay about it. I know deep down she’s not but I don’t press her.
I pushed on my leopard heels and stepped into the dress. “You’re funny. I have to hurry though. Moses is coming over at nine.”
“Doubling up are we?”
I stepped over Goliath’s laid out body and checked myself in the long mirror. “Nope. Catch ya later chica!”
“K, bye boo!”
After that, I had to move. I kissed Goliath goodbye and hurried downstairs to my jeep. I met Brandon at a place called Forks & Knives. A tiny steak place five blocks over.
He met me in the parking lot and when I got out of my car he waved from his and sprinted my way.
I like to compare guys to actors in appearance, it helps when I describe them to Brianna. Brandon looks like Ian Somerhalder from The Vampire Diaries. He’s hot with dark hair and blue eyes. He’s my height and has a great smile.
“You look amazing.” He says upon seeing me.
“Thanks, I got the body from Sears.” I teased. He so didn’t get it. His brow creased and he did the head tilt. So I explained, “you know like, some people say, oh I got my dress from Sears. I said thanks; I got this body from-.” Nope he still didn’t- okay whatever. “Never mind, you look handsome.”
“Thanks,” he came closer and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. “After this, I thought we could go to my place and watch a movie or something.”
Oh guys and their lame attempt at romance. Why do they even say “watch a movie?” why don’t they just say, “bone,” and save time?
“Well,” I shouldered my matching leopard bag, “I can’t stay out past eight-thirty tonight.”
“That’s fine. Next time.” He offered his arm and I took it. Wow, he feels nice. Solid under the casual suit and he smells great. One point lost for a bad sense of humor but two points gained for hygiene and fitness!
He pulled out my chair when the hostess took us to our table. He also didn’t stare at her ass. I did though; she had a really nice ass.
“So,” he said and I looked up at him. “This is like our…twelfth date…we’ve been going out two whole weeks.”
Oh for the love of God. He’s an anniversary type. The ones that celebrate tiny milestones. I’m terrified of these. These make me realize their time could be coming to an end with me.
“Yeah, two weeks,” I said and looked at the menu pretending to read. “That’s super special.”
“I’ve never had so much fun with a girl before.” He leaned back and smiled at me, “you make life colorful.”
I took that one to heart. It’s nice to hear kind words.
“Thank you, Brandon,” I put the menu down. “I mean it. You’ve shown no sign of dick for weeks that’s new for me.”
“Well other guys are idiots if they act like a dick to someone like you.”
Hmm, another point. “See if you can put up with me longer than this month and I’ll marry you.” I laughed.
He laughed with me then took a box out of his jacket pocket. He slid it to me and I looked up at him. “You don’t think it’s too soon for gifts?” I squeaked.
“Probably but I saw it and thought of you.”
I opened it to find a very pretty hair comb. It looked like something vintage with copper teeth and a rusted fan that held blue gems. It was awesome. “Whoa,” I brushed my fingers over it, “this is gorgeous. How did you find it?”
He sat forward like he was anxious to tell me which is adorable. “I remembered that Vintage shop you told me your sister took you too. I went out that way from work and when I saw this it screamed you.”
I bit my lip and felt giddy. That’s like 100 points! Remembering my sister and a story I told, that’s 50. Finding me a gift I don’t hate, that’s another 50. I got up and went around to his side. He gave me a smoldering look before pulling the chair from the table next to us and setting it near him.
I sat beside him and took his hand. He has nice hands and soon after he held the back of my chair and leaned in to kiss me.
This is very pleasant. That’s a good word for this moment. He’s not a sleaze and he’s treating me like a lady. Even how he kisses me feels more like he takes it as a privilege, not a pass.
“I also,” he pulled back to look at me and I felt heavy headed with infatuation. “wanted to know if maybe you wanted to be exclusive? Like official?”
I widened my eyes, “a guy has never actually asked me that before. It just happens.”
“I have to ask to know it’s real I guess. This hot girl with the big heart might be my girlfriend. I wanna know.”
I considered that. Part of me wasn’t sure I felt all the necessary things to call this a relationship, but the other part really felt impressed by Brandon.
“Okay…” I smiled and kissed him on t
he lips. “Let’s do it.”
He kissed me again and we ordered not long after. When dinner was done he walked out with me hand in hand. I love hand holding. I love all the typical romantic stuff that’s out of date. He stopped outside my jeep and kissed me harder. His kisses are good. I like it. More points.
“I should go.” I said between kisses.
“You said 8:30, it’s only 7:45.” He moved to kiss my neck and I lost my resolve. “Stay a little bit.”
“Okay.”
He slowed the kisses and walked me back to his car instead. He rides a Chrysler and it’s roomy. He opened the passenger side and I got in and waited for him to do the same.
He leaned over and brought me close to kiss me some more. My insides were melting and my breath was coming short. We’ve had makeout sessions before but because he knew I was committing a little this felt different. This felt sure. He slipped his hand up my leg and moved up my thigh and under the hem of my dress.
He’d never tried touching me there before. “Come over here,” he said in my mouth.
“Now?” I looked around. “Here?”
“Yeah.”
“We’re in a restaurant parking lot,” I laughed.
“So? We’re together, who cares?”
“Umm,” I thought while he kissed my neck. My hormones were raging a fierce battle but I also felt let down. “I’m all for spontaneity but you really want our first time to be in a parking lot? After that first time, we could rock it on a park bench but...”
“We won’t have sex, I just want to touch you.”
I reasoned that was okay. Smiling, I slinked over to his side and straddled him. He pushed the skirt of my dress up and squeezed my thighs, making me feel beautiful the way he looked at me and the sounds he made.
We kissed a lot for a long time and then he started higher up my legs again. He used his thumbs to rub over my clit and I moaned. Then he hooked my panties aside and stroked me. That felt good to my body but my heart still wanted him to slow down.
I started kissing his neck and after a few minutes of that, he opened his pants. He wrapped my hand around his cock and I felt annoyed. He wasn’t a small man but this felt more and more like sex.
“This feels amazing,” he said in my ear.
I tightened my fist and he squeezed my breast over my dress. “We should…probably slow down…” I thought fast for a reason. I don’t want to disappoint him and lose him but… “We don’t have condoms and though I love kids, my career would kind of crash if I did it now.”
He pressed my hips to him which brushed my mound against his erect dick. “You want me, though…” he debated. “If we’re official we should make this official all the way.”
“True…but not without a condom…”
“Don’t you trust me Babe?” his eyes looked sad and I weighed down with guilt. “Unless,” his movements went stiff and he looked at me with worry. “You’re clean, right? Is that why you need a condom?”
I held his shoulders and leaned back. “Why would you assume that’s why?”
“Well, your job…”
I think this is a loss of 60points. “I’m not a whore.”
“You’re a stripper.”
“I’m not a stripper, I’m a dancer.” I stared at him in outrage and started to struggle to get out of the car.
He held my arms and started speaking softly, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I didn’t understand. Listen, Chloe…”
I stopped fidgeting to hear him out.
He took a breath and went on, “I don’t think you’re a whore, and I’m sorry I made that comparison. I feel infinitely lucky to be with a woman like you and-.”
I frowned, “you’re not ugly Brandon, I doubt big time that you fall in with girls that are less than your standard.”
“You can be beautiful on the outside and lack on the inside…”
I caved hearing that. He was telling me I’m beautiful inside, and maybe he did just misunderstand my work. It happens all the time.
I smiled a little and kissed his nose then his mouth. “I still can’t without a condom…”
He reached into his pocket and pulled three in their packaging. Seeing them made me feel trapped and let down. “I want to be part of you Chloe,” he said in that sweet tone. “let me in…” he implored me with his magic eyes. “Please?”
I debated in my head. It’s not like I haven’t had sex okay. I’ve had a lot of sex but I try to make the first time special if the person means something to me. What if we are meant to be? What do I tell my grandchildren? ‘Yeah, Gramps did me in a restaurant parking lot.’
Still, I really want to see myself make it with a guy past six months. I want to invest myself and be happy. I want the things I didn’t have growing up.
I nodded and he slipped one on. Somewhere between his pushing into me and the end where he came and I pretended to do the same, I felt very cheap.
Chapter Three
The drive home was worse because he’d started me up sexually but not finished me so with sex heavy on the mind and a sense of total smuttiness I sped home. I wanted to get there before Moses and shower. Get Brandon off my skin and try to feel like I matter to someone.
When I got out of my jeep Moses was at the door to my apartment. He has a key so he’s letting himself in with an arm full of Chinese.
“Hey!” he says when he spots me.
I slow my approach and keep my hands in the pockets of the blazer. “Hey…”
“You look snazzy…” he looks me up and down and holds the door open for me, “am I underdressed?”
I take in his sweat pants and hoodie with a smile that’s reaching my heart. “No, I was out.”
“Hot date?” he asked as we start up the stairs. “Ugh, wait, was it Brandon? That guy sounds like a total sleaze.
“He’s not…” I keep my eyes on the stairs.
“Just don’t put out yet okay? Trust me, I’m a guy and he sounds like the type to see boobs not brains.”
Okay, that just hit me in my imaginary balls. I stayed silent and he looked over at me when we got to the last staircase.
He kept watching me and it was unnerving, “Fuck,” he said at last, “You did him?”
I turned to face him and he stopped a stair or two under me, “yeah, okay I fucked him. I’m a slut I guess. That or just a desperate, cheap, stupid girl that thought it would be okay because… I don’t know but it’s my body and it’s none of your damned business, so you know what, just…rain check tonight.”
I turned and hurried up the last steps then went into my apartment. Goliath came at me with nothing but nonjudgmental love and affection and I knelt to love him up before stripping off my blazer, tossing it on the floor and going to the bathroom.
The door closed and locked just as Moses opened the front door. I could hear him greeting Goliath as I stripped and turned the water on.
Then there was a knock at the bathroom door. “Chloe…?” I didn’t answer but he kept going, “you’re right, it’s not my business but don’t ever call yourself a slut to my face. Don’t ever call yourself desperate or cheap and don’t shut me out. If you like Brandon, and if he respects you then forget what anyone thinks.”
I let the hot water burn and wash away the touches of my date while Moses talked and his words soothed my soul.
He tapped the door and said, “so… do I still have to go home? Because if I eat all this by myself I won’t be pretty anymore and you’ll have to watch Game of Thrones alone…I can’t guarantee protection from the white walkers if I’m not here with your Direwolf.”
I smiled to myself and turned off the water. I wrapped a towel around me and opened the door a crack. “You can stay…” I announced. He acted super alieved to be funny and I laughed. “But…I don’t want to talk about Brandon, deal?”
“Only if you promise to pay attention to red flags. Remember how I always told you guys have red flags. If your spider senses tingle, time to stop the mi
ngle.”
I laughed, “like when you went Cabana Man? Was that a red flag?”
“That’s-, nope. That was provoked.”
I smiled at him and he patted his chest. I opened the door wider and went into his arms, setting my head where he’d indicated. A warm and comforting ease came over my mind that erased all the disappointment of tonight. Moses is my family and I trust him with everything…except maybe my heart.
Later that night in our sweats we picked at our Chinese and watched our show while Goliath cuddled close; with his enormous self.
We fell asleep together. All three of us and I let myself feel safe.
MOSES
For the next week, I would go to my father’s bookshop and work the accounts while helping him upkeep the store itself. I’d go directly after my Yoga classes and before.
That whole week the girl I met, Jenzy… the one I saved from the falling bookcase came in. Each day around the same time she came in and shopped while stealing glances at me.
Her blue eyes make me feel captured and even her subtle gestures are fascinating. I’ve got it bad, but she’s married and knowing that controls my actions.
She’s as in love with this store as I am. It’s all divided into two sides with at least six bookshelves on each side. The walls are lined with more books and the aura of the place is filled with mom’s magic.
Tie-dye tapestries, zodiac throws, beads dangled at the door to the back stock room. There was wind chimes of the sun and moon hanging in every corner, crystals in display cases in the back, mood candles, incenses, a very small variety of herbs and teas, and charm doodads.
My mom and I were the hippies of the family so this was sort of our project and there wasn’t much my dad denied her.
Jenzy came up, “Hi again!” She says as she brings three books and a crystal to the counter.
I took her books and typed in the codes but slow so we could talk like always. “Hi, Sunshine,” I said back.
She blushed, “I have a question,” she held up the third book. Bleeding on the Page My Soul Exposed by C. Dougherty. “I found this on the Bestsellers end cap. Is she any good?”
The Friend Zone (The Relationship Quo Series Book 2) Page 3