by J. M. Walker
Chewing my bottom lip, I nodded, not finding the words to speak.
“Tell me,” he snapped, landing a hard swat on my rear.
I yelped, arching under him.
He fisted my hair, tugging my head back. “Tell. Me.”
“Yes,” I cried. “I loved controlling you.”
“Spread your legs wider,” he said, resting his elbows on either side of my head.
Gripping his wrists, I spread my knees and waited. For him to control me. For him to dominate and own me.
“Every time you move tomorrow,” he slammed into me. “You will think of me.”
I whimpered, my body stretching to meet his size.
“When you’re kneeling at my feet or standing at my side, you will remember who was deep inside you the night before.” His thrusts were slow as he forced submission from my body. He pulled my head back, sticking his fingers in my mouth. “I’m going to tear you apart.”
I moaned around his fingers, suckling and licking like he had taught me.
He rolled me onto my side, pushing my knees to my chest and kept a firm grip of my hair. “Eyes on me, pet. You are going to watch as I fucking own your body.”
“You already do,” I panted around his fingers.
He towered over me, keeping his gaze locked with mine and sped up his hips. Hooking his arm under my knees, he held me restrained beneath him as he powered into me with so much force, I broke in seconds.
His name left my lips until my voice gave out. A sheen of sweat coated our skin as our bodies remained connected until I was screaming for a second time. He pulled the pleasure from my very being, forcing it to its knees. Every so often he would kiss me, whispering over and over how much he loved me.
I knew he was also telling me how sorry he was for not helping me with the past that I shared with Devin. It wasn’t his fault. None of it. How could he have known?
“Look at me,” Parker demanded bringing me out of my thoughts.
My eyes regained focus on the man making love to my body. “How did you know?” I whispered.
He kissed me softly on the lips and then my shoulder. “Your body tenses whenever you think about him.” His eyes grew cold.
“I want you to stop feeling guilty.”
Parker leaned over me, pushing into me as deep as possible.
I gasped, clenching around him.
“And I want you to remember that this cunt is mine. Stop thinking about him,” he growled, speeding up his hips. “You belong to me.”
I swallowed past the hard lump in my throat and shut off my thoughts, going to my safe place that Parker had reintroduced me to. Without him, I was nothing.
“Bring me with you,” Parker whispered, sinking his teeth into my shoulder.
The sharp pain spread over me, igniting a layer of goose bumps on my skin. “I’ve missed you,” I whispered.
His deep thrusts slowed, his hand brushing my damp hair off my forehead. “I’ve been here, angel. All along.”
“You’ve been holding back,” I said finally. “I can feel you distancing yourself from me.”
His jaw clenched, his eyes saddening. He released me and rose to his feet, kicking his pants to the side. He held out his hand, waiting. “Do you trust me?”
“With every inch of me,” I replied automatically, slipping my fingers in his.
He pulled me to my feet and lifted me in his arms, cradling me against him.
Hooking my arms around his thick neck, I kissed the tattoo of my name over his heart.
Parker looked down at me, a small smile splaying on his face. He carried me to the room where he had tied me up just the night before.
“Where are we going?” I asked when I realized that we were headed to a door on the other side of the room.
“I want to spend the night making love to you. Not rough. No toys. No leather.” He opened the door and I recognized the bed on the floor that I had woken up in that morning.
“Just skin.” He laid me on the bed and pulled off his shirt that was cut in half. “Against skin.” He knelt between my legs, sitting on his heels and brushed the back of his knuckles over my mound. “How are your nightmares?”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to think about it.”
His gaze snapped to mine. “I need to talk about it.”
“Okay. I…” I took a breath. “I have my moments but now that you’re back, they’re not so bad.”
He nodded, glancing back down at my naked flesh. “I will kill him,” he said, his voice so low, I almost didn’t hear him.
My heart clenched and I rose to my feet, wrapping my arms around his thick shoulders. I didn’t know what to say or do to make him not feel guilty. So I just hugged him.
His big body relaxed as he returned my embrace. “I know I shouldn’t feel guilty about your past with Devin and what he did to you. I didn’t even know you when that shit happened but when you were alone with him in the limo weeks ago…I will never forgive myself for what he did to you. For the abuse he inflicted on your beautiful soul. I want…I want to kill him. I…”
I squeezed him harder, pouring the love I felt for this man into my touch. “You being here now is all that I need. This makes up for it. What you do for me, what you have done for me…” I leaned back and cupped his face. “Park—”
He cupped the back of my neck and crashed my mouth to his before I had a chance to finish my sentence. The kiss was hot and needy, almost desperate as he lowered me to the makeshift bed. He inched his way back into my body, trailing kisses down my jaw to my ear. “A million people could be in a room and I would always find my way back to you. My angel. The love of my life.”
My breath caught at his sweet words.
For the rest of the night, his power and domination took a rest as he made love to me slow but deep. The rough edge of his wrath over the shit with Devin was the elephant in the room but I knew Parker wouldn’t talk about it until the next day. I only hoped that this would all be over before that edge cut into our love.
EELY, KEELY, Keely.”
My eyes snapped open at the rough deep voice.
“You thought you could get rid of me didn’t you?”
My heart raced, beating hard against the walls of my rib cage. Words were frozen on my tongue as Devin stepped out from the dark shadows in the small room.
A small gasp escaped my lips. Pulling the blankets up to my chin, I inched back on the bed until I hit the wall. “What are you doing here?”
He grinned and knelt in front of me. “To see you, of course.”
I glanced around the room. “Where’s Parker?”
“Fuck if I know. Forget him.” He crawled closer to me.
I shook my head. I had to have been dreaming. This was some fucked-up nightmare. Wake up, Keely. I chanted to myself over and over. I curled around myself, protecting my body from the wrath I could feel vibrating off of Devin.
He chuckled and pinched my chin, tilting my head. “I loved you and look how you treat me. You’re fucking my best friend.”
I shoved my head out of his grip. “He treats me better than you ever would.”
Devin snarled and geared up to hit me. “Parker will never be with you forever. He’ll use you until he gets bored. Remember that when you wake up, Princess.”
I screamed when his hand landed against my cheek.
My chest tightened, my eyes opening for the second time when I realized that I was finally no longer dreaming. “Parker.”
The sun beat down from the small window in the corner. I rolled over onto my side, my stomach sinking when I realized that I was alone.
Sitting up, I hugged myself and rubbed my hands up and down my arms. My skin tingled from the remnants of the nightmare that had invaded my sleep. Only the night before, I told Parker that my nightmares were getting better. Devin was sadistic even in my dreams.
I sighed and rose to my feet.
Not in the mood to take a shower without Parker’s gentle hands massaging into my ski
n, I got dressed. I smiled when I saw a plastic heart sitting on top of a folded up pair of jeans and a white t-shirt.
Remembering when he had given me the tube of red and pink plastic hearts, tears stung my eyes. The sweet words of encouragement and instructions that had filled those little objects meant more to me than I could ever say. I had kept the notes, spreading them throughout Parker’s cottage as a reminder that everything would be okay. It had to be. It may take some time but I knew that all of us would get through this.
My skin prickled with fear as the remnants of my nightmare invaded my mind. I couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched. Although I knew it wasn’t true, the dream felt more real than I liked. My eyes flicked up to the camera in the corner, giving me a sense of reassurance. I never noticed it the night before when Parker and I were wrapped up in each other. I could only assume that it was used for emergencies. You could never be too safe.
Pulling on a pair of panties and a bra, I slipped into light blue jeans. After putting on a white t-shirt, I opened the plastic heart, my breath catching as my gaze travelled over the handwritten note.
Angel, without you, I am nothing. I am an empty shell.
You’ve made me strong, bringing me out of my own personal hell.
Angel, I love you more than you will ever know.
The true feelings I have for you are more than I can show.
You are the sun, moon, and stars in my sky. You are the light in my darkness.
You inspire me to be a better man.
P.R.
xx
A lump formed in my throat. Parker was not a man of many words. He dominated with his touch and spoke through his actions.
I tucked the note into my pocket and pulled my blond, curly hair into a messy bun on top of my head. Finally making my way upstairs, I headed into the kitchen in search of coffee.
The back of my neck tingled and I turned around.
Parker stood in the backyard, talking to Colin and Greyson with the club sitting at the patio set a few feet away. Parker’s gaze remained locked with mine as I closed the distance between us. Screw caffeine. He was better.
Heading outside, I shut the patio door closed behind me. I could feel the eyes of Colin and The Hell’s Harlem MC staring at me but all I could focus on was Parker’s warm embrace.
He smiled down at me but his eyes remained dark with fury. My heart sped up. I knew I had walked in on their meeting but I didn’t know what the outcome was yet. Parker wanted to protect me but I was in this just as much as him, if not more so. I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around his hard middle. Snuggling into him, I inhaled his clean, fresh scent and sighed.
He cupped my nape and kissed my hair. “Good morning, angel.”
“Morning,” I said softly, breathing in the musky smell of him.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I answered automatically. I winced at the mistake I made by lying.
Parker pulled back and pinched my chin, tilting my head. “Try that again.”
My heart skipped a beat at the firm tone of his voice. I glanced at Colin.
His eyes remained cool, the muscle in his jaw ticking.
“I suggest you look at me when I talk to you,” Parker whispered in my ear. His voice was low, rough, and it sent shivers over my body.
“Or else what?” I challenged. “Sir,” I added for effect, smiling sweetly at him.
“I love it when you challenge me, pet, but know that I will always win in the end. Now tell me,” he demanded.
“Bad nightmare,” I said finally.
His eyes darkened, saddening as he let out a heavy sigh. “Can you give us a few?” he asked Colin and Greyson.
They nodded and left us alone.
“Parker, I’m fine. You need—”
“Don’t tell me what I need,” he snapped.
I shoved my head out of his grip. “I had a nightmare. That’s it. Same shit. Different pile.”
“You were doing good,” he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me back into his arms.
“I know that. But I woke up and you were gone. God, it’s like Devin even has control over my dreams,” I said a little too loudly; the conversation behind me stopped abruptly.
“Continue,” Parker barked to our audience and held my hand in a firm grip, leading me away from the group.
“Parker.” I ran alongside him as he led us to a small bench on the other side of the yard.
“Sit.”
I did as I was told and watched him pace back and forth in front of me. I wanted to yell, scream for him to talk to me. Demand that he go back to the guys and get this meeting over with. For life to be normal. For everything to just…be.
“I love you. You know that, right?”
I looked up and met his gaze as he stood before me. “Yes. Of course.”
He nodded once and sighed, running his hand over his buzzed head.
“I got your note,” I said softly, remembering the words that I had engrained in my mind.
In a quick move, he knelt at my feet, and rested his head in my lap. Holding my hands tight in his, he let out a heavy sigh.
“Sir,” I whispered, my eyes widening. For a man to be on his knees over the woman he loved was intense and breathtakingly beautiful. “Please. I’m sorry. I don’t want us fighting because of him. I don’t want to dream of Devin. I don’t. But I can’t control it. It…”
“What?” he asked, kissing my knuckles.
“It felt so real. He slapped me and I can still feel the tingle in my skin.”
“Fuck,” he growled.
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing.” He squeezed my hands reassuringly and kissed my knuckles again.
“But I don’t know what else to say. The nightmare felt so real. They always do. But this one was different. He told me that you would get bored of me. That you will leave me.” I inhaled a shaky breath.
“Is that what you think, Keely?” he asked, his eyes boring into mine.
I swallowed hard. “I…I have no idea.” And I realized that I didn’t know. He was Parker Reed. Gorgeous billionaire. He also still felt guilty that he wasn’t able to save me from Devin’s wrath so many years before. The things we had issues over and the trust problems were nothing to do with us but they were tearing us apart.
“You honestly think that I would leave you? After the shit we’ve been through?” His voice rose with each question. “I gave you my fucking company, Keely!” he yelled.
Tears burned my eyes and I covered my face. “I’m so confused. I have no idea what to think.”
“Look at me,” his voice was calm, cool.
I ignored him, hugging my arms around myself. At that moment, I dove into my mind to find that safe place. That place that had helped me heal. Forget. Move on.
“Keely, look at me,” Parker demanded.
Rising to my feet, I headed back to the cottage.
“Keely! Damn it.” Parker grabbed my arm, spinning me towards him.
“Don’t touch me.” I pulled from his grip.
“Talk to me. Please,” he pleaded, reaching for me again.
“You deal with this shit. We’ll talk later.” I turned towards the group of guys watching the scene play out before them and continued walking back to the house.
“I don’t care who the fuck is here. I will bend you over and spank your ass if you don’t tell me what the fuck is wrong,” he snarled in my ear.
“You would like that, wouldn’t you?” I blurted. My eyes widened and I slapped a hand over my mouth.
Parker’s eyes narrowed. “Consensual, Keely. Everything we do is strictly consensual.”
I knew that but I was mad, confused; I couldn’t control the words that had left my lips. I just wanted to be alone. I wanted everything back to normal. But it never was, was it? Could Parker and I ever have a normal relationship? I needed the Dominant side of him. I craved it. The BDSM lifestyle that he had introduced me to months before
would always be there but right now I wasn’t even sure if giving up that control would help.
“Where are you going?” he asked, following me to the patio doors.
“Inside. I need to call Troy.”
“You can’t tell him anything.”
“I know that!” I screamed, spinning on him.
He raised an eyebrow.
“Well this is something that I never thought I’d see,” someone joked.
“Shut up, ass.”
As Parker and I continued our stare down, the banter went on behind me.
His eyes bored into mine, challenging me, daring me to walk away.
So I did, heading into the house.
I loved him. I honestly, truly did, but everything was getting to me. I needed my best friend. Troy could bring me out of this funk. This moment of self-pity. I hated feeling sorry for myself. There were others that had it worse than I did but right now? I was wallowing.
“Stop walking away from me.”
I jumped at the deep voice coming from behind me and tripped over my feet. Landing hard on my ass, a sharp pain shot up my tailbone and tears welled in my eyes.
“Keely,” Parker said softly, reaching a hand out to help me up.
Ignoring him, I wiped the tears from under my eyes and rose to my feet. “I’m fine.”
“Angel.”
“What, Parker? What?” I snapped.
“What’s going on? Why are we doing this?” He took a step towards me.
“I need to call Troy,” I mumbled, pushing past him.
“No. You need to tell me what’s going on first.” He stepped in front of me, blocking my path.
“Parker,” I said through clenched teeth. I sidestepped around him when he hooked his arms around my middle. “Please.”
“I love you,” he whispered over and over in my ear.
“Let me go.” I struggled against him but his hold only tightened.
“I love you,” he repeated. “I don’t say it enough.” His one arm stayed wrapped around my waist as the other hooked around my shoulders. His big body arched over my trembling one, holding me tight against him. “I promise to say it more. When we go to bed. When we wake up. I will tell you that I love you over and over again.”