by J. M. Walker
“I got this, baby,” Patrick said, taking the spoon from him. “You and Keely need some time alone.”
“I don’t want to talk.” Troy wiped his hands on a towel and threw it down on the counter.
“Well, you’re talking.” Patrick grabbed our arms, leading us both through the living room and down a hall.
“First door on the left is the office,” Parker called out from behind us.
I glanced at him over my shoulder, silently begging for him to come with us but he stayed back. He blew me a kiss and started dishing food onto plates as the loudness of the Hell’s Harlem filled the dining room.
“Patrick, let go of me. This is not going to work. I don’t understand why we have to talk,” Troy grumbled when we reached a door down the hall.
“Enter. Both of you,” Patrick demanded.
We sighed in unison and did as we were told.
“I love you both but you’re going to stay in here until you sort your shit out.” He left the large office, closing the door quietly behind him.
My heart raced against the walls of my ribcage, waiting for Troy to rip me a new one. For him to yell and scream that I betrayed him. The only person in my life that had never left me.
When Troy remained silent, it only increased the nerves that flowed through my body. “Troy, I am sorry.”
He walked up to the large window, crossing his arms under his chest and scratched the scruff on his chin. “I never thought in my whole life that you would be the one to betray me. What I did for you. God, Keely. I helped you escape Devin. I helped you put him away.”
Tears burned my eyes and I sat on the couch, my shoulders sagging with guilt. “I know. I don’t know what else to say except for that I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t want this. I wanted to tell you.”
“Then why didn’t you?” he asked, his voice harsh.
“Because I was told not to!” I cried.
“And you listen to everything that Parker tells you to do? It’s like you’re back with Devin. Doing everything that he says to make him happy. Does Parker abuse you, too?”
My eyes widened at the accusation in Troy’s words. “No. Never. What I give Parker is completely consensual.”
“Right,” Troy said slowly.
“What, Troy?” I rose to my feet abruptly. “What are you accusing him of? You think he’s raped me? That he’s hit me when I do something wrong? Tell me, Troy.”
His jaw clenched and he looked away. “No, I don’t think he’s abused you. I just…”
“I understand that you’re mad,” I said softly. “I get that. I would be too but please know that he’s never abused me. He may have unconventional needs but…” My mouth snapped shut when I realized my slip up.
Troy raised an eyebrow. “What kind of needs?”
My cheeks burned. “Doesn’t matter. The point is that I love him and that he loves me. This whole thing is a mess. I never wanted this to happen. I was hoping that Devin would stay in jail forever but I was naïve to think that.”
“What if he comes after you again or worse? What if next time you don’t get away?”
“I…” A shiver of ice-cold fear traveled up the length of my spine. Being held captive in Devin’s clutches once again made my heart race and my palms sweat. I couldn’t imagine what the outcome would be. Devin would be pissed that I got away in the first place. Who knew what would happen if he caught me again? “He wouldn’t kill me,” I whispered.
“Maybe not, but he would damn well make it so you wished you were dead.” Troy shook his head and ran a hand through his short hair. “I just want you safe. If that means being here with all of us, than fine but I still wish you would have told me. I could have protected you more than I did.”
My eyes snapped up. “Troy, you have no idea what you’ve done for me, do you? You helped me through one of the toughest times of my life. Yes, being with Devin was bad but losing Parker, not knowing when he would come back to me; I felt like he did in fact die. Even though I talked to him every so often…” A lump formed in my throat and I swallowed past it. “Both of you are the most important people to me. Ever. My parents would be proud that you’re here with me.”
Troy slumped onto the couch, cradling his head in his hands. “If only my parents felt the same way.”
My heart clenched. Joining him on the couch, I slipped my fingers between his. “They love you. You should call them.” Troy hadn’t talked to his parents since we moved to the city a couple years before. When he came out of the closet, his relationship with them became rocky until he couldn’t take it anymore.
“Maybe.” His breath hitched. “Tell me how you helped Parker die.”
My back stiffened. “I didn’t really do anything. Colin set it up. I just acted like the hurting girlfriend.”
“That’s it?”
“Well, I never saw Parker after that until a couple of days ago. But…he saw me. He’s been watching me, keeping me safe from a distance.” I shrugged. I didn’t know how else to explain it. “He knew that I went to see Agent Cross and that Cross knows that he’s alive.”
“Shit,” Troy mumbled, sitting back.
“Yeah. Cross is smart. I feel…” I inhaled a shaky breath. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to stop this. I want Devin gone. I want him dead.” Saying those words out loud after all of these years lifted a weight off of my shoulders. I knew that I should have felt guilty. Maybe a part of me did but the darkness inside of me that Devin created took control.
“Keely—”
“You know. The funny thing is, I don’t feel guilty at all.” A wicked grin spread on my face as I turned to Troy. “I will be the one to destroy him. I want to see the life leave his eyes as I stare down at his broken body. I want to do to him what he’s done to me all of these years. God, I haven’t even been with him in so long but he still controls me. My dreams. My every move.” A maniacal laugh escaped my lips. The laughter soon turned into sobs, wracking my body with heart-wrenching cries of sorrow. Guilt. Anguish. Every emotion that I should have felt but didn’t because I was too far gone to care. Devin did this to me and I would make him pay.
Troy wrapped his arms around my shoulders, holding me tight against him as I cried. He didn’t say anything. He just held me and let me cry.
The sound of the door opening jarred me from my thoughts and I roughly wiped the tears from under my eyes. My gaze locked with Parker’s.
He joined us on the couch, motioning for me to lay down. As much as we needed to talk more, I didn’t fight him. I was defeated as I rested my head in his lap, curling up on my side.
“I should go,” Troy said softly.
“No. Stay. She needs us both.” Parker brushed the hair off my forehead.
“I want this over,” I said finally.
“I know, angel.” He wrapped his arm around my middle, holding me. Protecting me from the onslaught of fresh tears that were bound to well up and burst forth anytime soon.
“As much as it hurts me that you kept this whole thing from me, I understand why you did it.” Troy let out a deep breath. “Just, please. Keep me in the loop from now on. You may think you’re protecting me but me knowing what the hell is going on protects me more.”
Parker grunted in response.
“I promise, honey,” I said, my eyes getting heavy.
The last thing I remembered was Troy getting up and kissing my forehead. He turned back to me, smiled softly, and told Parker to take care of me before leaving the office.
“I will. Always,” Parker responded.
At that moment, I allowed my eyes to close, darkness finally taking over. And for once, in what felt like a lifetime, I had a dreamless sleep.
I WOKE some time later, curling onto my side. Stifling a yawn, I sighed, feeling elated and fresh. Whole. Like I had just slept for a year straight. I didn’t know why this little nap was better than before. Why it made me feel new. Maybe finally reaching that breaking point, I had been able to
sleep the way I needed to.
A rough calloused hand grazed down my cheek before cupping my neck. “So beautiful.”
I smiled at Parker’s words, slowly opening my eyes to stare up into the emerald depths of the man that I loved. His strong jaw clenched, his eyes were sad, tired even as they bored into mine. I didn’t notice until now but the scruff had grown in thicker, like he hadn’t shaved in days.
“You okay?” I asked, laying on my back.
“After everything that you have been through, you’re asking me if I’m okay?” he asked, staring down at me in awe.
I sat up, brushing my hair out of my face and nodded. “Why wouldn’t I ask you? You’ve been through a lot too, Parker.”
He pulled me into his arms and brushed his nose along the length of my neck. “I’ll be okay when this shit is over,” he said into my hair.
“Will our relationship ever be normal?” I asked, softly.
He cupped my cheeks, staring intently into my eyes. “Nothing about me is normal, angel. You know that. But it works for me. For us.”
“I know, my love.” I looked away and leaned my head against his chest. “I just…you’ve introduced me to the BDSM lifestyle and now that I’ve had a taste, I want…”
“What?” he asked, pinching my chin.
“More.”
He smirked and placed a soft kiss on my mouth. “With a house full of men, I can’t have you walking around naked like I want but I can still control you.”
“Really?” My eyes widened. “How?”
“On your feet,” he demanded. My heart thumped and I did as I was told. Parker rubbed his chin, his eyes darkening. “Just like that.”
“I love your Dom voice,” I blurted.
“My Dom voice?” he repeated, rising to his feet.
I nodded. “Yeah. It goes deep and growly. I have no choice but to listen.”
“You always have a choice. Don’t forget that, pet.” His voice was firm as he turned me in his arms.
“I know. I’m just saying that it’s sexy as hell.” I was trying to lighten the mood. The darkness that had spread over this house for the past couple of days was tiring.
“Well, then I guess it will be easier for you to listen. So less punishment for you then, pet,” he teased. If only it would work for the punishment that he promised me later tonight. Maybe he forgot that I lied to him earlier. How many times was it? Three? I couldn’t remember. “I seem to recall that you lied to me earlier.”
Of course he wouldn’t forget. Why would he? I swore he enjoyed punishing me as much as I loved receiving it.
“Kneel.”
My stomach tumbled at the firm demand and I slowly lowered to my knees. Palms up on my thighs. Head bowed. Eyes downcast. I read enough books before all of this, that I knew the proper display of presentation. Of course I also learned quickly that every Dom was different and that those books weren’t always accurate.
Parker walked around me, grazing his hand over my head in the process, petting me. “My beautiful one.”
I heard him walk to the bookshelf but couldn’t see exactly what he was doing until a slow sensual beat filled my ears.
“Stand.”
Rising to my feet, I waited. My heart skipped several beats in anticipation when suddenly I was pushed forward.
“I was going to punish you. I was going to spank your delicious ass, reminding you not to lie to me but I have a better idea,” he growled in my ear, slamming me up against the door. “I’m going to fuck you but you’re not allowed to come.”
My eyes widened. “That’s not fair.”
He placed a hand over my mouth, tilting my head back. “I suggest you shut up.” He ripped down my pants and panties, tugging them off of my feet.
The sound of the lock clicking into place vibrated through me when he pushed me back up against the door. Every inch of him leaned into me. I could feel the length of his hard body. The thickness between his legs that throbbed. The scratchiness of his clothed bottom half rubbed against my naked one and I couldn’t help but push back against him.
“You don’t think it’s fair that I not allow you to come?” he said, his hot breath caressing my ear. “Then you should have thought about that before you lied to me. Before you told me that you were fine when you really weren’t.”
“I didn’t want to worry you,” I cried, rubbing my ass against him.
“Stop. Enough talking,” he snarled. The sound of a zipper lowering sent a shiver down my spine. “I’m going to fuck you. I’m going to coat the inside of your sweet pussy with my come.” He pushed his knees between my legs, brushing the tip of his cock over my center. “And then just maybe, I’ll allow you to have a release.” He thrust upwards, pushing into me halfway before he stopped.
I whimpered, clenching down around him, silently begging for him to continue. Parker covered my mouth with his hand and wrapped his free arm around my middle, lifting me up and down the length of him. A moan escaped me and I slapped my hands against the door.
“Shhh,” he whispered in my ear, pushing into me until he bottomed out deep inside me. He held me tight, speeding up his hips. His pelvis slammed against my rear, the rigid feel of him swelling inside of me.
My heart rate picked up, my body tightened but I willed myself not to come. The release hovered, bordering on painful as I breathed slow and deep.
“That’s my girl.” His voice was low, his hot breath caressing the side of my neck. “Do you want to come, angel?”
I nodded.
“Ask me.”
“Please,” I panted. “May I come?”
He chuckled in my ear. “Wrong question.”
I whimpered, tears welling in my eyes at the added force of his cock hitting a spot inside of me that I swore was created just for him. “Please. Sir.”
Parker cupped my throat, tilting my head back. “Ask me.”
“Please may I come, Sir?”
He placed his hand back over my mouth and turned my head to face him. His eyes were dark as night as they heated with lust. “No.”
My eyes widened at being denied the release that I craved
He pushed me against the door and gripped my hips. “Be quiet, pet.”
Chewing my bottom lip to keep from crying out, I reveled in the feel of him inside of me.
Parker kissed the temple of my forehead, breathing hard against me. With each hard thrust, he lifted me into the air. His low grunts of pleasure filled my ears. “I love you,” he whispered.
Those words set me off. A tingle spread from my toes to my head, igniting an explosion so great to erupt inside of me. I breathed through the fast and unexpected release, my muscles jumping and twitching under his touch.
He groaned, pushing into me one last time before shaking against me. His release was long, coating me from the inside out with his warmth.
Placing me on my feet, he pulled out and wiped the tip of him over my center. “You weren’t supposed to come, beautiful girl.”
“I tried...” I panted as he kept rubbing himself between my legs. My head fell back against him and I let out a satisfied sigh.
“You didn’t try very hard.” Parker kissed my neck. “Every inch of you is mine,” he said, brushing his length from my core to the area at my rear.
I gasped, stiffening against him. “Parker, I—”
He chuckled. “All in due time, angel. But right now,” The wetness from his release coated me completely and although it was sticky, it sent a heat over my skin. It made me feel owned, like he was marking me as his. “I just want you to feel my come everywhere.”
“God, you feel good.” I breathed through the tightness in my chest over him being disappointed in me for allowing myself to come.
“I know.”
I rolled my eyes at his smug response and laughed. “Thank you,” I said finally.
He released me and righted his pants before placing a soft peck on my lips. “No. Thank you. If we had time, I would just bend you over and spank your
ass for coming.”
“I’m sorry,” I said softly, looking down at my feet.
He pinched my chin. “I can’t seem to punish you,” he said, his gaze taking on a faraway look.
Standing on tiptoes, I placed a soft peck on his mouth. “Teach me to give you all of me. To allow myself to let go and give you my submission completely.”
Parker cleared his throat and released me, running a hand over his shaved head. “You submitting to me turns me on.”
Laughing, I got dressed and went to open the door when Parker stopped me. Looking up at him, I frowned.
“When we leave this room, I want you to grab something to eat and find an empty spot at the table. If we were alone, I’d have you kneeling on the floor and I would feed you myself. But I don’t think the guys would take too kindly to that.”
My heart jumped at the image of eating out of his hand. “People do that?”
He smiled. “They do. Some do it as punishment where the sub has to eat out of a dog bowl. I’ve also seen it where they aren’t allowed to use any hands.”
My cheeks heated. “That would be embarrassing.”
He nodded. “That’s the point. Remember, it’s all planned out in advance. This isn’t like your books. Most submissives know what they’re getting into. But of course, you do get the random asshole now and again.”
“I…I don’t think I would like that.” I swallowed hard. “Sir.”
Parker cupped the back of my neck and kissed my forehead. “I know, Keely. I wouldn’t do that to you even if it wasn’t a hard limit for you.”
“Why wouldn’t you?”
“Because you’ve been embarrassed enough in your life at Devin’s hands. You may think you’d enjoy it but I know that it would bring you further into yourself than you already are.” He kissed my head again and stepped back.
I never thought of it that way. The things Devin used to do to me weren’t always private. I grew accustomed to having an audience. To the point where I was able to shut off my mind, diving into that safe place that I liked to call my home away from home.
“The only person that I feel comfortable being myself around besides you, Colin and Jones, is Anne.”