by J. M. Walker
“Keep going,” Parker said through clenched teeth.
“Okay…well…he started small. Weed, crack, mushrooms. But of course you would never see the drugs go from his hands to the customer. No. Not Devin.” I shook my head, memories from my past invading my mind. I didn’t want to go back. Back to the darkness that had clouded my world. Back to when I was only a child, a sixteen-year old little girl that was caught up in the moment. Devin was only a couple of years older than me. An older boy interested in me? I was shy. Awkward. And Devin played into it like the bastard that he was. He called me his princess and I found myself doing anything for him. “I used to run for him,” I said finally.
“Shit.” Parker leaned against the counter, gripping the edge until his knuckles turned white. “I knew you hacked for him but I had no idea that you did more. I assumed and I shouldn’t have.” His eyes saddened.
“I should have told you but I think a part of me wanted to forget. I never even thought to tell you. I’m sorry.” I rung my hands in my lap. “I remember the first time I made a delivery for him. I was small. Cute. A girl. He had filled my head with all of these lies, telling me that I would be fine. That I was safe.” Tears burned my eyes. “I reached the customer’s house and…the guy attacked me. Hit me a couple of times because I wouldn’t give in. I was lucky that someone else showed up but when I got back to Devin’s, he lost it. Told me that I must have done something to deserve the beating. He…” My breath hitched. “He said that only his marks were allowed on my body and that’s when the abuse started. It let everyone know that I belonged to someone else. No one hit me again except for…for Devin.” My chin trembled as I fought back the sobs. The nightmares that had threatened to destroy me ate at my soul. They broke at my sanity until I was a ball of shame and despair.
Heavy arms wrapped around my shoulders, holding me against a hard body. Parker whispered soothingly over and over in my ear, running his hand in circles over my back.
“I think you can bring him down without going back that far,” Colin said softly. His rough voice was filled with anger but sympathy.
Parker pulled me to my feet, switched me spots and sat me in his lap.
“I can do this,” I said, taking deep cleansing breaths. I wiped the tears from under my eyes and nodded. “I can.” I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince myself or them but I needed this. I needed to move on. Not just with Parker but with myself. I refused to let Devin break me again. He wasn’t even around me and already he had that control.
“When did you talk to him last?” Parker asked, keeping his arms wrapped around my middle.
“Before I knew you were back. He called me while Jones was driving me to meet Agent Cross.” I took another deep breath. “He was taunting me. Telling me that he had you and just…God, that man is trying to drive me insane.”
“Use that,” Colin said. “Channel that anger. Let’s bring that bastard down.”
The three of us sat in that room, huddled over the computer system while I worked my magic. I tracked the phone number that Devin had called me from. He wasn’t smart enough to get a new phone every day or every couple of days. He was a techy and hated getting the old flip phones. He always needed whatever the new and shiny phone was at the time.
“I don’t know where else…Hmm…” I frowned when the location of the phone number popped up on the screen. My fingers flew across the keyboard. “He’s an hour from here. Does he have a warehouse?” Didn’t surprise me. Maybe he had an office building too. He always went on like he was poor. I wouldn’t put it past him to have more money than Parker.
“He has one main warehouse and an office building in Mexico. Couple hotels in Canada and a restaurant or two in Europe.” Colin flipped through a folder in his hands and rubbed his chin. “He also has a couple nightclubs.”
“Wow. He sure is making a name for himself. Does he even go by Devin Tate?” I asked, searching through everything that I could find associated with that name. When nothing came up, I tried again. Still nothing.
“Colin?” Parker asked, shifting under me.
“I…shit…I have no idea.” Colin looked between us both. “How could we miss this? Everything we have on the guy is under Devin Tate. If that’s even his actual name.” He looked at me as if expecting me to know.
I shook my head. “I always knew him as Devin. I’m only assuming that’s what his real name is. What if we asked Sherry?”
“Fuck.” Colin slammed a heavy fist down on the metal tabletop before taking a couple deep breaths. “Do your thing. I’m going to see what shit I can come up with.” He pulled out his cell phone and rose to his feet. “Hey man. We need to fucking talk. Get us a meeting with Sherry Canon.” He left us alone, shutting the door behind him.
“Maybe you should go with him,” I suggested to Parker. “You might catch something that he misses.”
“Yeah.” He kissed my forehead and pinched my chin, staring intently into my eyes. “You okay?”
I smiled up at him. “As long as you’re here, I will be.”
He nodded, kissed me again, and left the room.
I was now alone. I hadn’t been alone in what felt like forever. No noise came through the walls of the small room and if I didn’t know any better, I would think that that was intentional.
Cracking my knuckles, I leaned my head from side to side. The tendons in my neck stretched and moved, rippling over my muscles. “Alright, Devin. What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into?”
At that point I wished I had my daddy’s journals with me but after burning them in the fire, I realized that it was the right decision for me. It protected him and me, even though the FBI knew that it was him that hacked into their system. But they didn’t know that he left his legacy to his daughter…well, until now that is. But Agent Cross could only search into my life so far before he would give up. My records were clean. Whatever shit he was trying to brew up was only to scare me. I laughed to myself. If only he knew what I had with Devin. The agent couldn’t scare me. At all. But I was sure that he would have fun trying.
Rolling my shoulders back and forth, I shook out my hands. Placing them on the keyboards, I channeled my father, imagining him standing over me.
“Okay, baby. You got this. Just let your fingers flow. Remember what I’ve taught you.”
I could almost hear him. His deep, smooth voice that always made my mother giggle. I remembered rolling my eyes at the sound but now I understood. The vibrato of Parker’s tone always struck a chord inside of me. Like it was vibrating through the strings of my life.
“You remember what I said about a paper trail, right? They always exist. You just have to know where to find them.”
I nodded even though my dad wasn’t there. But he would always be in my head. God, I missed my parents.
The only way someone can truly disappear is to die. But even then, some form of evidence always leads back to them.
I clicked a few keys, entering in codes that brought up screen after screen. I was always the type of person that wanted to see what happened behind the scenes. When an internet browser came up, I wanted to know how it was set up that way. What made the buttons work when you clicked on them. What made the pages switch between page after page. That was when I taught myself to learn code. It was like another language. Not a lot of people understood the numbers, letters and symbols. It all looked like a jumbled mess but, put together, that jumbled mess created everything that allowed you to do what you do on your computer.
I dove into the system, hacking into what looked like Devin’s main hard drive. He wasn’t tech savvy when it came to computers, which was why he always had me do the technical stuff for him. Also, then he wouldn’t get caught. The shit I did…I swallowed down the bile, pushing the guilt to the back of my mind. I had no choice. I didn’t. But it still didn’t make me feel any better. The lives I ruined. The jobs I helped destroy because I was better than their security system. The money I helped steal. I couldn’t fathom w
hat would happen to me if the FBI actually became aware of what I did. I would be like my father. No one would know what I’d done until I was dead and buried, lying in the cold, hard ground.
I frowned when I came across a firewall. Huh. Looked like Devin had actually hired someone good. But not as good as me. A smile spread across my lips. Just a few more clicks. And then…
“Caught you, princess. Caught you, princess. Caught you, princess.” The words pounded their way into my head as Devin’s voice rang out through the room. The letters flashed back and forth over the four screens.
A muffled cry escaped my lips but I refused to let him win. Typing the keys hard, I tried with everything in me, pouring all of my knowledge into this moment. This very second that would threaten to destroy me. All of our hard work. “No!” I yelled, slamming my hands against the keyboard.
“Keely, Keely, Keely. You really think that I would allow you access to my system? You don’t think that after all of this time, I learned a thing or two from you?”
My head whipped around, expecting to see Devin right behind me but when he wasn’t, I turned back to the computer. Relief flooded through me that I was still alone but it didn’t make me feel any better.
“You don’t know shit about computers, Devin,” I growled, still attempting to break into the system, trying to stop the words from flashing back at me. They were taunting me. Over and over again as he laughed through whatever speakers his voice was coming from.
“No. I do know something but to learn as much as you would take me a lifetime. That part I admit. But I did hire someone just as good as you, if not better.”
“Devin, you will fucking pay!” I screamed, shoving to my feet. “I swear with everything in me—”
“Keely? Baby?”
My eyes widened at the deep voice. Memories of my childhood swam into the recesses of my mind. Laughter. Happiness. Love. My chest constricted, the air being forced from my lungs like a fist had a grip on my heart. “Daddy.”
EVIN CHUCKLED. It was a cold and menacing sound. He had me right where he wanted me.
Voices sounded around me, warm arms enveloped me in a soothing embrace but all I could focus on…was him.
“Daddy,” I said again, falling to my knees.
“Yes,” he croaked.
Tears streamed down my face. So long. So many years. “How?” I whispered.
Parker held me against him, his body stiff as the fury and rage flowed from him to me like that of a Ping-Pong match.
“Well, you see,” Devin said casually, as if he were chatting about the weather. “That rainy day so many moons ago when your parents got in that car crash… I was there, princess.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I rocked back and forth, praying, wishing that this weren’t true.
“Your mom was long gone but your dad? He was on the brink and I could see the darkness in him. So I saved him. I offered him a deal for his life or I would fucking destroy you.”
I whimpered, curling in on myself. He already did. “You let me get away.”
“Ding ding ding.” Devin laughed again.
“Keely, I’m so sor—”
“Shut the fuck up!” Devin yelled. “This is my game. So princess, you want your father back? Come and get him.”
“You bastard!” I screamed.
“For once in your fucking life, you got your facts straight. I am a bastard, Keely but you fell in love with me anyway, remember? Now, you know how to find me. And if you take your time, I will start killing off those close to you, one by one.” The line went dead and I screamed.
“No!” I sobbed, bone crushing cries wracking through my body. He was alive. After all of this time.
The screens went back to what I was working on before and I clicked on the one that would give me his address. I stormed out of the room, grabbing a set of keys off the table.
“Keely,” Parker shouted, coming up behind me.
Ignoring him, I headed quickly to the front entrance when I was lifted off of my feet. “Put me down!” I yelled, pushing out of his grip.
“Keely, stop. You can’t go after him alone. We need to think about this.” His hold on me tightened, bringing me back further into the house.
“No! I need to save him. I need to find him. Please.” I caught Troy and Patrick staring at me wide-eyed before I ran to the back of the house.
Parker unfortunately caught up with me and threw me over his shoulders. I screamed, cursing him and anyone else that would listen. Nothing was making sense as the words left my lips, my throat becoming raw like sandpaper.
“What the hell is going on?” someone asked through the sounds of my screams.
“A huge shit storm,” Parker snapped. “I’ll tell you more when I calm her the fuck down.”
My screams turned into sobs. The muscles in my body tightened, my limbs becoming sore and weak. I was gently placed on what felt like a mattress but I couldn’t be sure in the darkness of the room.
“I’m here, angel. Let it out,” Parker whispered in my ear, caressing a hand up and down my back.
“I had no idea,” I finally said. “I thought he was dead.” I hiccupped and went on. “I buried them.” Fresh tears flowed down my cheeks, soaking the pillow that my head was lying on.
“I know.”
I sat up abruptly, pushing him off of me. “I have to go. I need to find him.”
“I don’t think so.” Parker held me against him.
“No! Let me go!” I struggled against him until I tired, my body giving out. “I just…I want my family. I want…”
“You can’t do this alone. Let me in. Let me help you. We’ll destroy Devin together.” Parker’s hot breath whispered across my ear.
Turning in his arms, I took a breath and cupped his cheeks. “Help me find him.”
He nodded, wiping the tears from under my eyes. “We will find him. Together. I promise you that.”
MY FATHER was alive. After all of this time. And I had no idea until now. I didn’t know why Devin felt the need to keep him a secret from me. But the fact that Devin let me go in the first place, it all made sense now. I just never clued in. I was so excited to leave the God-awful town, thanks to Troy, that I didn’t think twice about looking back.
“Baby girl, we need to leave.”
I frowned at the incessant badgering of my best friend. “Troy, it’s fine. Devin’s in jail, remember?”
“Yeah, but…” Troy looked around my small bedroom like he thought Devin would pop up from the darkest corners.
I sighed. The only corners that he would be coming out of would be in my nightmares. “It’s fine.” I patted Troy’s hand lightly and continued packing my bags.
“Are your parents okay with this?”
“If it was with any other person, no, they wouldn’t be okay.” I wrapped my arms around his slender waist. “But they love you and trust you. They know that you’re good for me.” I poked him in the middle. “If only I had the right plumbing.”
He laughed, rubbing the spot where I had jabbed my finger. “If I was straight, you would be the first girl that I would date.”
I grimaced. “That would be like dating your sister.”
His cheeks reddened. “Um…ew.”
Sitting up in the makeshift bed, I smiled at the happy memories I had shared with Troy. Although a lot of the times we had together were difficult, we always came out stronger in the end. But I wasn’t so sure what would come out of this after betraying his trust.
I took a couple deep breaths. My dad. What would my mom think of all of this? Did my dad know that Devin had abused me? Were they aware of the relationship that I had with him?
A soft growl sounded from beside me. Chewing my bottom lip, I glanced down at Parker. His breathing was even as he slept soundly. His tattooed back rose and fell, the muscles rippling under his skin.
After finding out my father was still alive, the breakdown that I had tore through me. It left me an empty shell. My body ached in places I ne
ver knew could ache just from emotional trauma. I hurt. God, did I ever hurt.
Parker had helped me through the shock. Giving me the therapy that only he could provide.
“Breathe for me, pet.”
His words had soothed me, bringing me to that high of ultimate bliss with him.
Every time that I flew for him, it was never the same as the time before. Each moment was different. Each moment powerful.
Rising to my feet, I got dressed and quietly opened the door. Looking back at Parker, I took a breath, swallowing past the guilt that had threatened to take over my body. When he didn’t stir, I left the sanctuary of the room.
The house was quiet that morning, except for the thunderous rain that beat against the exterior.
Grabbing Parker’s keys off the table, I braced myself for him to come barreling up the stairs, demanding for me to tell him what I was doing. I didn’t know. I felt that I had lost a piece of myself since talking to Devin the night before. He was the only one that could make me feel worthless. Like I was never good enough. He forced me to build up these walls that Parker tried so hard to bring down. Did he ever succeed? I wasn’t sure.
Tears welled in my eyes. I didn’t want to leave like this. Maybe it was stupid of me. But I needed some time alone before meeting with Agent Cross that afternoon. The tiny voice inside of me screamed, begging for me to stay, but my feet moved of their own accord. I couldn’t control my body as I left the confines of Jones’ and Colin’s cottage.
Stepping outside, I closed the front door behind me and left the safety of the porch.
As soon as I made my way to the gravel driveway, the sky opened up and the rain came down harder. The icy cold drops of water stung my skin, soaking right through my clothes. The chill in the air was so deep it ran right down to my bones.
“If you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was let me know.”
I jumped, spinning on my heel. My gaze landed on a pissed off Parker standing on the porch. He was leaning against a beam, his arms crossed under his chest and his eyes were dark as night.