by Robyn Carr
Everything was so critical...
But she had signed on for it.
She thought that’s what people did for each other.
He kept saying, “I’m not doing this for me, Sidney. I’m doing this for us.”
There was never any “us.”
She gave him seven years!
She supported him for seven years but she was doing exactly what she wanted to be doing.
Was that the problem? The weak link? That she was so involved in her work?
I hate to break it to you but he could have started being unfaithful before you were married and how would you know? her inner voice asked. Did you ever once check?
Oh God, I can never be in a relationship again because I can’t be one of those women who reads his texts in the dark of night or follows him to see if he’s really going back to work!
Then the idea of a garbage collector makes perfect sense...
But he’s not really a garbage collector. Well, he really is, but that doesn’t mean anything at all—it’s his job, not his identity.
Was that where she’d gone wrong with David? Putting too much importance on the importance he put on himself? Didn’t her degrees take as much dedication and time and intelligence? She was a scholar! A scientist!
He said she was dull. Boring.
That was name-calling.
It was true.
Sid took a deep, calming breath. There were three things that decimated her about her failed marriage. That David had lied to her for so long and she’d been clueless, that she suddenly realized that not only was she completely alone, she’d been completely alone all along, and third, there wasn’t much about her to be attracted to—she was boring. A completely boring computer nerd. That she was a computer nerd on the cutting edge of cyberscience, information technology and artificial intelligence didn’t make her a more interesting person. If she and David went out with his friends, doctors who could accomplish complex surgeries and save lives, doctors who would cure diseases, they would invariably ask her, “Listen, I’m having this problem with my operating system...” or, “I don’t think I have a good cloud coverage setup...”
Yes, it had all been quite painful, to never feel a part of his life or even of her own life.
But things weren’t exactly like that now. Right now she was connected. It had been like training for a race—she came out of her quiet, preoccupied, serious place and learned to be more outgoing. She liked people, after all. Anyone who had engaged in a long and complex course of study could tell you about how easy it is to become hyperfocused. She’d had to learn the first way in order to excel in math and then computers, so she had to likewise learn the more extroverted way, getting out of her head a little and appreciating her enhanced social skills.
A few months with Rob and she hadn’t been lonely anymore. A few months behind the bar as a bartender and server and it brought such a relief to feel that people actually liked her. Of course, she felt they didn’t know the real her—the boring, fixated, dorky person she had left resting inside.
But there was no denying she still grieved the loss of her science. When she was making great strides in the lab, experiencing breakthroughs and making discoveries that could change the world, she felt huge. Inside, of course. But huge and important and confident. With her meltdown, she lost that. She wished she had not let it happen, but she wouldn’t know how to stop all the side effects of her personal crisis. Yes, even the most pragmatic scientist is vulnerable to emotional calamity.
She fled to Rob to rebuild herself from the ground up. Then Dakota came along and she felt an instant zing of energy. Well, she must have been ready. She was a woman, after all. She hadn’t stopped producing hormones. There was a certain biological science to it, wasn’t there? There were lots of theories about why a certain man appealed to a certain woman. About what made all manner of creatures desire the opposite sex. With whales, the males wanted the strongest, fittest females because reproduction was difficult and many cows died giving birth, which made perfect sense to Sid, considering the calf weighed about six hundred pounds. But the whales didn’t just mate with the most available female.
And so it was with men and women, she assumed. The right one at the right time with all the right biological configurations from looks to scent to prowess. Whatever the magic was, Sidney went to bed thinking she’d grow old in her brother’s house playing Auntie Sid and woke up one morning finding herself wickedly attracted to Dakota Jones.
It was going to be complicated.
* * *
Ever since the night his tire had been slashed, Dakota had been parking in a more public place on the street when he went to the bar for dinner. He risked running into Alyssa but he wasn’t about to sacrifice any more of his Jeep SUV to the manic charms of Miss Neely. And sure enough, Alyssa was sweeping the sidewalk in front of the beauty shop as he walked up. She stopped and leaned on her broom. He thought briefly of crossing the street, but that would be just plain cruel. He walked right up to her, smiling.
“Hi there, Alyssa,” he said. “Getting ready to close?”
“I have one more client. You can come to the shop for a trim if you like. I think I’ve gotten the message.”
“Hmm? What’s that?”
“You’re all trimmed up but I haven’t seen you. I get it—you found another place to get your hair cut. So I tried letting you know that I’m available to date if you’re interested, but you ran for your life. It wasn’t really necessary to hide your car to keep me from bumping into you at the bar.”
“I think you have the wrong impression,” he said. “I don’t believe I ran for my life—I got a job. And I don’t think I hid my car. I’m not parking behind the businesses anymore, that’s for sure. I had some damage one night. I’m sticking to streetlights.”
“Damage? In Timberlake?” she asked, surprised.
“It’s all right, I took care of it. Are there lights where you park?”
“Just over the back door, but we’ve never had a problem. So...you weren’t avoiding me?”
“Not at all. Just going about my business.”
“Ha, that’s a relief,” she said, smiling. “I thought you’d made up your mind about me before even getting to know me! In that case—”
“Alyssa, I’m not available,” he said. “I’m seeing someone. If you’re looking for a guy who’s available, it’s just not me. I hope I didn’t mislead you.”
“But you just got to town!”
“A couple of months ago,” he said. “Plenty of time to meet someone.”
“Well, for God’s sake, who? In Timberlake!”
He couldn’t help but laugh. “I guess the possibilities are pretty slim, aren’t they.”
“So, who?”
“Come on,” he said with a laugh. “It’s just friendly, but I’m trying to turn the heat up. The point is, my interest is somewhere else and it wouldn’t be nice of me not to tell you that.”
“I thought you heard something...” Her voice dwindled off and she looked at him nervously.
“What did you think I’d heard?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she said. “A couple of years ago there was some nasty gossip about me. That’s hard in a small town.”
Dakota frowned. He assumed it was the usual sexual innuendo. Maybe some of those Vegas trips with the girls got caught on an iPhone when they were compromised. Women really took a hit for all the same things that tended to make men look like studs. He was instantly sympathetic. “I’m sorry, Alyssa. No, I didn’t hear anything. But gossip isn’t likely to affect me, anyway. You seem like a real nice girl but I have something going on.”
“But with who?” she tried again.
“Give a guy a break, would you?” he said, laughing. “I need a little room to work my charm.”
“Is that so,” she said, not parti
cularly amused.
“Hey, I’m sorry you’re upset with me. We’re neighbors now. No reason to be pissy.”
“I’m not,” she said, but definitely was.
“I’m going to grab dinner,” he said. “I’m hungry. I’ll see you around. Take care.” He started to walk away, then he turned back to her. “Oh. I’ve been getting my trims at the barbershop. The only reason I came into your shop the first time is they were closed. I’m really not avoiding you.”
He walked another half block and just before he could cross the street he was stopped by a woman’s voice calling his name from the darkness. “Dakota.”
He stopped and Neely stepped out onto the sidewalk from the storefront where she had been caught in the shadows. It was not yet dark but the sun was setting and the shadows were long. Is there a full moon or something? he wondered. First Alyssa and then Neely? He put his hands in his pockets and looked at her, frowning.
“I guess you’re still upset with me,” she said. “I know, I know, I was aggressive. It’s not typical, I promise. But you’re not typical, either, Dakota. You didn’t give me any encouragement at all.”
“And I suppose that made you angry?” he said, scowling a little.
“Nah, just disappointed. I want to apologize.”
“And maybe offer up seventy dollars for the tow and two hundred dollars for the new tire? One was slashed, the rest were just deflated.”
She frowned and shook her head. “What are you talking about?”
“My tire was slashed, Neely.”
She gasped. “You can’t imagine I would do something like that!”
“It was a pretty strange encounter we had. When I got back to my car, that’s what I found. No other cars back there were damaged. And I had rejected you.”
“You think I’d damage your car because you didn’t take me up on my very slutty offer? Listen, I’m embarrassed, but I’m not a vandal. I wouldn’t do that.”
“But you would lure a guy into a dark alley—”
“Stop!” she said, holding up a hand. “It was impulsive and stupid and regrettable but I backed right off when you made yourself clear. I was humiliated and couldn’t even think of showing my face around here for about a month.”
“Why should I believe you?” he asked.
“You can check and see if I have any kind of record, I suppose, which I don’t. But I swear to you, I’m not that kind of person. I’d never hurt a fly.”
He just continued to stare at her.
“Well, I’ve certainly learned my lesson, Dakota. And I’m sorry about the tires but I can’t imagine who would do that. You have someone pissed off at you?”
“Besides you? No one I can think of. And I did call the police.”
“They never contacted me. I suppose you told them...”
“Of course.”
She ran a hand straight up her forehead, combing her hair with her fingers. “Oh dear God. It’s been such a long time since I was this stupid.”
“Let’s call it done,” Dakota said. “I don’t have proof. But it was a reasonable assumption.”
“Can we start over?” she asked.
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m not going to just forget the experience that quickly. But what we can do is move on.”
“We’ll be friends?” she asked.
“I don’t think so. But we’ll behave ourselves.”
“Certainly,” she said. And then suddenly her face fell. “Oh God. Oh, no. Oh, Dakota...” Her eyes were large and childlike. “What if...? Oh God, there’s this guy. A man I was seeing for a very short period of time. He was intense and a little off and I stopped seeing him almost immediately. I think we went out a few times in a couple of weeks and he was ready to take ownership. I had to block his calls, block his emails, and I did see him hanging suspiciously close to my usual haunts.”
“Stalking you?” Dakota asked.
“Almost but not quite. I talked to a friend who’s a police officer and the guy hadn’t done anything scary or threatening and I couldn’t get a restraining order. My friend said I was doing the right thing—staying alert and staying away. He never crossed the line, never damaged my car, broke into my house or tried to corner me or anything. But what if he—”
Dakota just waited, frowning.
She took a deep breath. “What if he was following me and saw us together and retaliated against you?”
“I think you better talk to the police in Timberlake,” he said. “Tell them about the possibility.”
“I don’t want to make trouble for him if he’s innocent. That might come back on me, stir him up, you know.”
“Well, someone isn’t innocent, Neely. I had some significant damage to my car. So will you do that for me? Tell the police of this possibility? Before it happens again or gets worse?”
“Sure,” she said. “Oh God, I’m so sorry, Dakota. Please say you’ll accept my apology.”
He gave her a single nod. “No more tricks, Neely,” he added sternly.
She put up her hands. “Of course not. Um, I was just going to grab a chicken Caesar...”
He gave her a forced smile. “Then I have an appointment,” he said, not even bothering to conceal his irritation.
“Oh, for God’s sake! I’ll sit at a table or booth, as far away as I can get!”
“I’m going to have dinner at the diner tonight,” he said. “Take care.” He turned and walked down the street. Though it was tempting, he did not look over his shoulder. He went to the diner and found Lola was behind the counter.
“Hey,” he said. “I don’t see much of you here.”
“Two afternoons a week. It’s not for the money, I assure you. On my diner nights, I can feed the boys here.” She indicated two young men in a booth by the window. “On nights Trace works at the bar and grill, he usually gets a burger, but the only time he gets vegetables is when I give him dinner. Cole is a little harder to feed—he’s nineteen.”
“I guess I didn’t know Trace was your son,” Dakota said. “I eat at the bar a couple of times a week. I see him all the time. Good-looking kids, Lola.”
“Yeah, they’re gorgeous,” she said. “But they’re also good. I think. So what can I get you?”
“Just coffee. And I’ll look at a menu, but it would break Sid’s heart if I let someone else feed me.”
“Sid?” she asked, lifting eyebrows. “You and Sid?”
“Well, maybe you shouldn’t say anything like that since she hasn’t agreed to go out with me yet. But that hasn’t stopped me from asking a lot.”
“I love Sid,” she said, grabbing a cup and pouring coffee. “She’s a sharpie, that one. She’s helping Trace with physics.”
Dakota was taken aback. “Wow. Bartenders are better educated than I thought,” he said.
Lola laughed. “She said she took a lot of math courses in college and she kind of wanted to see if she remembered any of it.”
“Huh,” he said, impressed.
“She remembers apparently,” Lola said. “Excuse me.” She turned and went to check on the boys.
Dakota took out his cell phone and made use of that phone number he’d recently scored. I know Neely went in the bar. Will you text me when she leaves and the coast is clear?
He sipped his coffee. A minute later he had a return text. Yes. You’re pathetic.
Family connexions were always worth preserving, good company always worth seeking.
—JANE AUSTEN
8
DAKOTA TOOK HIS usual seat at the bar.
Sidney gave the space in front of him a wipe and she was grinning. “Have you been hiding in your car? Slinked down in the seat so no one would see you?”
“No, I went to the diner and had coffee with Lola. I thought about having my dinner there but I know how much you like wa
tching me eat.”
“It is a particular thrill,” she said. “Aren’t you being a little ridiculous? Can’t you keep the women at bay?”
“I had a doubleheader tonight. First Alyssa caught me on the sidewalk and she wanted a little showdown. Apparently she’s been worried that I was avoiding her because of some gossip I might’ve heard. I didn’t hear any. I told her I’m seeing someone.”
“Who?” Sid asked, putting his beer in front of him.
“You wouldn’t know her,” he said, lifting his mug and taking a big sip. “Ahh,” he said. “Then, after I got away from Alyssa, I ran into Neely a little down the block. Call me crazy but I think she was lurking. Hiding in the darkness. I didn’t see her, then she popped out of thin air. She said she wanted to apologize for her aggressiveness and she wanted to start over. I can’t think of a scarier thought. There’s something about her... She came up with this story that some guy she barely dated was practically stalking her and he might’ve been the one to—” Dakota cleared his throat.
“You’re hiding something,” Sid said.
“Can I have a Juicy Lucy, please?” he asked nicely.
“Yes, when you tell me what you’re hiding.”
“Why do you care?”
“I might have to rethink this wedding date if you’re sketchy.”
“I’m not the sketchy one!” he insisted.
He looked at her. She had one hand on her hip and a stern expression that said she wasn’t buying any of his bullshit and suddenly he wanted to look at that face every day for the rest of his life. How that happened, right then, right there, he had no idea. He could not lie to her. He sighed. “That night that Neely tricked me with her nonexistent flat tire, when I went back to get my car after dinner, one of my tires was slashed. The other three were deflated. Four flats.”
“But you didn’t come back here,” she said, perplexed.
“No. I called my brother and a tow truck. We talked to Stan, the chief. I didn’t want to mention it.”
“Why, for Pete’s sake?”
“I didn’t want to seem complicated...”