“Ooh, I think now is better,” Sadie said, looping her arm through mine and pulling me off in the direction of the shops.
We passed by the gallery, and I thought instantly about Nell and James. I wondered what they were doing, and if they’d be out at the parade. It was supposed to pass through a big chunk of downtown and more than likely they could’ve been there. Then again, Nell might not even be home yet. I didn’t know when he was planning to pick her up. It wasn’t really my job to know, and I hadn’t asked him.
I thought about last night again. It had been so amazing, and I just wished he would have kissed me. And I was surprised at that thought. There was something deep inside me pulling at me. Something that I just could not ignore.
“Sadie, why do you want me to find a man so bad?” I asked her. Because I felt like maybe I needed more time on my own. But then again, every time I thought about James, I felt a strange desire bubbling over inside me, just at the thought of kissing him.
“Because Dillon was a total douchebag, and I feel like you wasted so much time with him. You deserve to finally be happy. You deserve to find a man that’s going to love you for you, and treat you like the damn princess you are.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. I loved it when Sadie got fired up like that. Especially when it came to my ex-husband. Because Dillon really was a total douchebag. She was right about that.
“Do you remember after your first date with Dillon? How you called me up crying because of the way he made you feel at the restaurant?” Sadie asked me. We’d stopped walking, and we were intensely staring at each other, as if this was the most important conversation on the planet.
“Yeah, I remember that,” as I nodded my head slowly. Remembering our very first date. He had been a total jerk then. That’s when I should have gone the other way. I shouldn’t have stayed with him. I shouldn’t have continued our relationship. It was the first date, and we weren’t even technically together, but I stayed with him. Now, more than ever, I wished I hadn’t, because I just ended up wasting all my time, and ended up with a broken heart.
“We need to find you a man that’s going treat you like a princess. I really feel like that man could be James,” she said to me.
“Yeah, but his wife died not that long ago. I don’t want to be the rebound relationship,” I said. It was true. I didn’t want to be his rebound. He hadn’t dated since his wife had passed away, and I was a lot to take on.
“What makes you think you would be the rebound?” Sadie asked me.
“Well, for starters, he hasn’t dated anybody since his wife died, and that was two years ago. There hasn’t been another woman in his life.” That was all I could think of, and there really was nothing else.
“Yeah, but you don’t know that. You don’t know if it would end quickly because he’s not over his wife. What if it turns out to be the most amazing thing in your entire life? What if the whole reason Jan met Dillon was so that you could move on eventually and find your own Mr. Right?” Sadie seemed so excited about what she was saying, and the conclusions that she had come to.
I laughed.
“What?” she asked.
“You’re just funny, Sadie. Thank you, for being such a good friend. And thank you for not ditching me like everybody else did.” I gave her a hug, which obviously surprised her because she let out a small gasp when I did. And that was a little sad because that showed me how often I’d really hugged her and she was my best friend. I should have done it more, but instead I’d been so hell-bent on not letting anybody in.
“No problem, Rachel,” Sadie said.
The moment passed, and we then walked on down towards some shop that she wanted me to check out. We walked inside, and I looked over all the different clothes they had. It wasn’t really my style and seemed a little more preppy than I usually went for, but I wanted to humor Sadie. So, I tried on the several dresses she handed me.
I’m sure I tried on at least fifteen dresses, and by the last one, I was exhausted.
“So, what did you decide on?” asked the over-eager saleslady. She’d been down my neck pretty much since the minute we stepped into the store. I found it kind of annoying, as I just wanted to try on my dresses in peace, and I already had Sadie on my case.
I turned to Sadie, “Which one did you like best?”
“I liked the black-and-white one,” Sadie said as if she had decided a long time ago. If that was true, I wish she would’ve told me so I wouldn’t have had to try on all the other dresses. But, I did agree with her, and I liked that dress very much. It hugged my hips and all the right places. Honestly, I felt really sexy in it.
“I agree. The black-and-white one.” The saleslady went inside the dressing room, and handed me the black-and-white one, and proceeded to gather up all the others.
“I’ll be with you in just a moment to ring you up,” she said, as she walked around the store, putting the dresses back.
Sadie and I waited at the counter for the lady to come back. It took her nearly ten minutes. When she got there, Sadie whipped out her card.
“No, you’re not paying for that,” I said to Sadie.
“Yes, I am,” Sadie handed the lady her card, before I could stop her.
“Thank you,” I said to Sadie. You didn’t need to do that. There was nothing else I could really say to her. Besides that, it was already done. We walked outside and realized we had missed the parade. I wasn’t too upset because I had a sexy new dress to wear, guaranteed to make James want me more.
A woman passed by, holding a baby close to her chest cuddling and talking quietly to it. I couldn’t help but feel a little sad at the sight. Because I could have been holding my own child by now.
Chapter 15
James
Despite her being very excited for school, it sure was hard to get Nell out of bed on Monday morning. She’d had a really great time with her friend over the weekend. I hadn’t even picked her up until dinnertime last night. I was really glad she’d found a friend she liked so much.
When she was finally ready and had finished eating her breakfast, we headed out the door, only to have to come right back in because she’d forgotten her backpack. When we finally got in the car, we were already set to be five minutes late, and that was only if traffic cooperated.
“Daddy?” I heard Nell ask from the back seat.
“Yes, pumpkin?” I responded, concentrating on driving.
“How was your day with Rachel?” Nell asked. She hadn’t mentioned it last night, so I’d thought maybe she’d forgotten all about it. She had obviously been wanting to ask me.
“It was good,” I said. I wasn’t sure what else to say to my five-year-old daughter. I couldn’t necessarily tell her that I really liked Rachel, or that I’d wanted to kiss her. I couldn’t tell her anything like that regarding Rachel. I had no idea how she would react if I said something like that. Would she be upset? There was no way of telling, but she loved Rachel. She adored her in fact. But I wondered if she only thought of Rachel as her babysitter. I didn’t know how she would take if I started dating her.
“I really like Rachel, Daddy. She’s so nice, and really pretty too,” Nell said, out of nowhere, really. I smiled at her in the mirror. I hadn’t been expecting her to say that. “You should invite her out with us next week, Daddy.”
“Yeah, maybe we can do that sometime,” I said. I wasn’t sure what else to say to her. I really wasn’t even sure what to think myself. It was feeling as if my daughter was trying to play matchmaker or something.
“I would really like that, Daddy,” she said. “Let’s do it this week, okay.”
Pulling up to her school, I pulled into a parking spot, shut the car off, and then got out and helped Nell. I walked her into the school because I was going to have to sign her in since school had already started. What I had hoped would be five minutes late, ended up being ten, but there was nothing else I could do. The ladies in the front office were very polite and told me it happens all the ti
me, especially at the beginning of the school year.
I gave Nell a hug, and she ran off to her classroom, very excited to begin her school day. I loved that she still felt that way. But we would see after a few more weeks and months, and even in the years to come, just how much she really liked school. But I was going to savor this for the moment.
On my way to the gallery, I stopped to get some coffee. Just as I was walking into the coffee shop, I thought of Rachel, so I grabbed her cup, too. I brushed it off like it was just something nice that I was doing, but deep down inside, I knew it meant more.
When I got to work, I handed the cup to Rachel. She took it from me and thanked me, seeming a little flustered. I wanted to stop her and tell her that I’d wanted to kiss her the other night. I wanted her to know exactly what I’d been thinking of. I should have done so many things differently that night, but I hadn’t. I’d been too afraid, just like I was now. I was too afraid to tell Rachel how I really felt. I wanted her to know all kinds of things, but it was too hard.
“I’ll be in my office until it’s time to get Nell,” I said to her.
“Okay,” she said and went back to what she was doing on her computer.
I smiled at her and cursed myself as I walked away and headed up to my office. I sat down and tried to concentrate on work, but I found it hard as hell. Because there was a woman downstairs that I couldn’t get my mind off of. She was doing things to me, causing feelings that I didn’t think I would ever experience again. It was crazy though because I still hurt after Whitney’s passing. But something inside of me, something deep inside, wanted to find out where things could go with Rachel. But I was too scared, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to find out. I tried to get Rachel off my mind, but it was proving harder than I thought.
Soon it was time to get Nell. The few hours had gone by so fast, and I felt like being late this morning had added to it. I walked downstairs and paused; I looked at Rachel, and I wanted to tell her. Again, something inside of me was pulling at me, driving me to tell her the truth. Pushing me to grab her face and feel her lips pressed against mine. My body was craving it, and I could feel the desire bubbling up as I stared into her beautiful eyes. But still, I couldn’t do it.
I wanted to ask her out on another date and tell her that I wanted to spend more time with her, but I didn’t know how to do that.
“So, Rachel,” I started, and I cursed myself for not sounding more confident. This had nothing to do with me really, as much as it had to do with Nell. “Nell was wondering if you wanted to come over this weekend?”
Rachel’s eyes lit up “Really? She said that?” Rachel seemed a lot more excited about Nell wanting her to come over than I had expected her to be.
“Yeah. She said it this morning, but I forgot when I got here earlier. So, is that something you’d want to do?” For some reason, I was feeling pretty nervous, and I didn’t know what was going on with me. Before Whitney, I could have been considered a playboy. I had a lot of game. But it seemed like it got away. As I stood before this woman, I didn’t even know how to ask her on a simple date.
“I’d like that a lot.” Rachel said. We stared at each other for a moment, and I felt that deep desire in me and the need to kiss her, but I just couldn’t do it.
I made sure to hide my smile from her, “Nell, uh, Nell will like that a lot.” I opened the door to the gallery. “I’ll be back in a little bit,” I said and walked on out the door before she could even respond. I felt like such an idiot, and she must have thought I was crazy.
Jumping in my car, I drove to the school, and the whole time all I thought about was Rachel. That’s all I thought about all day. I couldn’t get her off of my mind, no matter what I’d done. Something inside me wanted Rachel, and I just hoped that she felt the same way about me. I could see the smile on her lips when I’d invited her over. Even though I’d presented it as Nell’s idea, which actually was true. Nell did want her to come over. But, at the same time, so did I. Spending more time with this woman was what I wanted. To figure her out, and learn more about her. I wanted to see more of her beautiful smile. I felt like we had such a great connection. I still just wished I would’ve kissed her when I’d had the chance.
I pulled up to the school, and even though it was just morning kindergarten getting out, it was still a little crazy. It made me wonder what it was like in the afternoons when the entire school let out at one time. I would find out the following year, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to or not. I honestly had no idea what I would do when she went to school full time.
Spotting Nell, I got out of the car and walked over to where she was standing with her teacher. Her teacher told me that Nell had a really good day. A friend had fallen and gotten hurt, and Nell had helped walk her to the nurse’s office.
“Wow, Nell. That was sweet. I’m so proud of you,” I said as I bent down to hug my little girl. She wrapped her little arms around me.
“I love you, Daddy,” she said.
“I love you too, baby girl,” I said back to her. Then I stood up, thanked the teacher and held her hand as we walked back to the car.
“Guess what?” I said to Nell as I started the car. I couldn’t keep the news of Rachel’s visit to myself because I knew it would really excite Nell if she were to find out. I wanted her to know.
“What?” Nell asked.
“Rachel is going to come over to our house this weekend,” I said. I turned around and looked at my daughter’s face just as it lit up like a Christmas tree.
“Are you serious? Yes, I’m so excited!” Nell practically yelled.
I smiled at my daughter, then turned back around and put the car in drive. I pulled out of the parking lot and drove her back to the gallery. While I drove, Nell told me all the awesome things she wanted to do with Rachel on the weekend.
“I want to paint our nails, ooh, and I want to give her a makeover. I want her to put makeup on me. I just want to spend time with her, Daddy.” She was excitedly chattering away, and I loved the sound of it. She’d been so happy lately. In fact, she’d always been a happy child. She’d been so young when her mother died that she didn’t really remember her much. And while I was sad about that, I was also thankful because she didn’t carry around the deep sadness that weighed down my heart all the time.
I pulled up outside of the gallery, and once again, I was feeling nervous. I didn’t know if I was ever going to get used to that. It was a strange thing to me.
“What’s wrong?” Nell’s voice came from the backseat. She pulled me out of my daydream, and I turned and looked at her.
“Nothing, baby.” I smiled at her and got out of the car, then helped her get up, too.
“I’m really excited that Rachel’s coming over tomorrow, Daddy,” Nell said, as we walked toward the front door of the gallery. “Are you?”
“Yes. I’m excited too, baby.” The thing was, Nell had no idea just how excited I was. I’d enjoyed spending time with Rachel the other day, and Nell had no idea about that either. I didn’t want her to know too much because I didn’t know what the future held for me and Rachel. And she was already so attached to her. I would have hated for something to happen between me and Rachel, only for Nell to lose that person in her life. Because she finally had a mother figure, even if Rachel and I weren’t anything other than boss and employee.
We walked into the building, and I watched Nell run into Rachel’s arms, feeling happier than I had in a long time.
Chapter 16
Rachel
“Hello, thank you for calling All Four Seasons Art Gallery, this is Rachel speaking,” I said into the phone.
“Hi, Rachel. I’m Mark Summers, and I’m calling on behalf of my client Ryan Jacobson. He’s supposed to have a show there next weekend, and I just wanted to make sure everything is in order. He’s supposed to have three large pieces with him, and I want to make sure you have the accommodations for that.”
“Of course. James is out of the office right now, though
he’ll be back shortly. I’m his new assistant, so I’m not certain of all the details, and I would hate to give you the wrong answer. So, let me check in with him as soon as he comes back, and have him give you a call,” I said.
“Thank you, Rachel. Can you make sure my message gets to him this time?” he said.
This wasn’t the first time a client had said this to me. Janice had obviously built up a reputation for herself, and for James. I laughed, “Please don’t worry; I’ll make sure to let him know.”
“Thank you. It’s just that the last few times I called, my messages were never actually delivered to him and I had to email him several times just to get a response.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. Please don’t judge James too harshly on that though. He was just trying to be nice and give his former assistant a job, and she failed miserably at it, despite his efforts to coach her along,” I said. I was hoping to make the man feel a little more confident in both James and myself.
“I don’t judge James on that. Thank you, Rachel. I do feel better about things. Have a nice day,” he said and hung up the phone.
As I was hanging up the phone, James and Nell walked into the gallery.
“Hi, Nell. How was school today?” I asked her. Instead of running over to me, she just walked slowly. Her head was kind of droopy, and she looked like she just didn’t feel well at all.
“It was okay,” she said, then sat down on one of the couches.
“Are you feeling okay?” I asked her.
“She seemed a little off this morning when I took her to school, and it seems like it just got worse over the course of the day,” James said.
I looked at Nell, “What’s wrong?”
“I just don’t feel good,” she said. “But I still want you to come over.”
I gave her a small smile and looked at James.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said.
“But Daddy, I want Rachel to come over,” Nell whined.
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