“What are you going to do then?” I asked, whirling toward Paul, my hands on my hips.
“First, we're going to ask you to step into the hall,” Paul said, and even though his eyes remained gentle, there was a hint of steel in his voice that told me I should do what he said.
I laughed and shook my head. “So much for not getting rid of me!” I snapped.
“We're not getting rid of you,” Paul repeated. “However, I don't think we're going to have a very productive discussion like this. Why don't you go wait in your office, and I'll come let you know when we've reached a decision?”
It wasn't a suggestion, and as much as I didn't like the idea, I knew that I needed to go along with it. I was lucky enough to still have Paul on my side. I nodded sharply and headed for the door.
Back in my office, it seemed to take them an eternity to come up with my sentencing. I knew that I should be getting work done, reminding them of what a valuable resource I was there at the office, but instead, it was all I could do to make another coffee and sit there at my desk, staring down at my photo on the front of that stupid magazine. I didn't even dare read the interviews, but it was enough to imagine what the two women might have said.
Paul finally knocked on the door and cleared his throat, and I looked up at him. He came inside, alone, thankfully, and shut the door firmly behind him. “We're not getting rid of you,” he repeated.
“Yeah, yeah, okay,” I said, waving a hand. “What are you going to do?”
“Unfortunately, there's not much that we can do, short of buying you out of the company. We've agreed that it would be best for you to take the next three or four months off. Get it all out of your system, and come back to us when you're ready to work and be a professional.”
I stared at him, hardly able to believe the words coming out of his mouth. “Paul-” I said.
“Wait,” Paul said, holding up a hand. “Just think about it, Christian. You could do a ski vacation. You could go someplace warm. You wouldn't be getting paid, but we both know you're not in any danger of going broke, no matter how crazy you go for the next few months. Just get out of the country. Go someplace where the gossip columns won't bother you and have a good time.”
“But the company-”
“We'll suffer through it,” Paul said, giving me a wry smile. “We'll be happy to have you come back. You know how much I hate having to go to conferences and things like that.”
“So-”
“It's not really up for discussion,” Paul interrupted. He grimaced. “I'm sorry, Christian. You know how much I hate for things to come to this, how much I've been fighting this for years now. But there's nothing that I can do.”
I grimaced. A week later, I found myself standing behind a podium, giving a formal apology for all the things that I had supposedly done.
“To all of our shareholders, and our consumers, and our supporters,” I said, “I thank you for your patience. I know that my conduct over the past few years hasn't been exactly what you've desired. I know that there have been many times that you've…” I trailed off, staring down at the script that had been placed in front of me. Then, I threw the note cards off to the side.
“Let me be real here,” I said. “I know that when you're looking for a real estate company, you're looking for someone who you can trust. You're looking for someone who can see the vision of you growing old there with your wife, of you spending time there with your kids. And I haven't delivered on that promise lately.”
I spotted Paul in the audience; I could see the way his eyebrows rose. “I haven't respected you the way that you deserved,” I told them. “And we all know it. And I'd like to fix that. I'll be taking some time off, at least from now until the end of the year, probably longer,” I told everyone. “And don't worry, I'm leaving you in incredibly capable hands. I'm sure you've all heard of these guys before. And-”
“All right,” Paul said, suddenly catching my elbow and leading me off the stage. “That's enough,” he said under his breath. “We do still want you to come back next year.”
I took a deep breath and smiled bitterly at him. “But over the next few months, you're going to realize that you don't need me,” I told him.
“Bullshit,” Paul said succinctly, and it was very rare that I heard him swear.
I couldn't help smiling a little. “If you say so.”
“I do,” Paul said. He shook his head. “Don't spend your whole trip worrying about what's happening around the office. Have fun. Come back when you're good and ready.”
Chapter Six
Gretchen
I sighed and stretched, still feeling a bit sleepy but knowing that I had to get out of bed before it got too late in the day. I had never been the type of person to laze away the entire day in bed. That was just a waste, as far as I was concerned. Anyway, it wasn't as though there was anything worth staying in bed for.
Even though it was Tuesday, I didn't have any appointments on the schedule that day. I still wasn't entirely sure how that had worked out, but hey, I wasn't complaining! Instead, I grabbed a book and went out to my front porch, lying down in the hammock that I had strung up out there. For a moment, I just swung there, enjoying the warm breeze and smiling at the palm trees, at my tropical life. Then, I opened the book to where my bookmark was and began to read.
I was getting into it when Mina hopped up the steps onto my porch. “What a beautiful day, huh?” she said.
I smiled and put the bookmark back into my book. I was right in the middle of a juicy scene, but I knew that Mina wasn't going to give me time to finish it. Sure enough…
“Why do you read those things anyway?” Mina asked, getting a glimpse of the cover of the book. “You'd be better off keeping up with world news. Those silly romance novels are just filler.”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “Because you do such a good job keeping up with world news?”
“Yeah. I watch The Latest religiously, and I read a bunch of different magazines, and-”
I burst out laughing, unable to help myself. “Mina, entertainment news hardly counts as world news,” I told her.
Mina shrugged. “It's news, and it happens in the world. It's world news. And you never bother to keep up with any of it. You can't imagine how much drama has gone down just this week.”
I shook my head. “Yeah, I don't care about any of that stuff,” I told her. “Who kisses whom and who wore what. I just don't see why any of that matters.”
“Well, how are you ever going to meet a hot millionaire if you don't even know who the hot millionaires are?” she asked, a twinkle in her eye.
I laughed again. “You're ridiculous,” I told her succinctly. “Sure, there are plenty of millionaires who come to Hawaii probably, but they don't hang out in the places that we go. They'll be at the fanciest restaurants and the fanciest clubs and the fanciest, well, everything!”
Mina shook her head. “But seriously, if you're going to read anything, why romance novels?”
I bit my lower lip and shrugged. “I guess I just like to have hope,” I told her. “It's a nice escape from reality, and it's nice to think that maybe, just maybe, there's-”
“Some Prince Charming who's perfect for you, who holds the door for you and brings you breakfast in bed and is 100% perfect? You really believe in that stuff?”
I blushed a little. “I don't believe in that,” I said. “I don't think there's a perfect guy or anything like that. But it's nice to think that there's someone out there, that there is true love. Can you imagine having a feeling like that? I was talking to a woman in my shop a while back, and she was telling me that if she had to go back and do her whole life over again, she'd still pick the same guy and would still do everything exactly the same. Don't you want to have that feeling?”
“I don't want to think about living life all over again,” Mina said, shaking her head. “I'd rather just focus on the life that I'm already living and do the things that I want to do now. And right now, I'd like you
to go get changed so we can go surfing!”
I laughed but rolled out of the hammock, knowing that she wasn't going to take no for an answer. Anyway, it would be nice to go surf; the waves had been great the last time I'd gone, and I wanted to get as much of that into the season as I could.
“Do you believe in true love?” I asked Mina as we paddled out onto the water. I just couldn't seem to let go of the conversation that we'd had that morning.
Mina snorted. “Not even in the slightest,” she said, shaking her head.
“Really?” I asked, surprised. “But your parents-”
“Love each other very much,” Mina agreed. “But that doesn't mean that they were destined to be together or any of that stuff. They just ended up together, in the end. It's as simple as that. If they had ended up with other people, they could have been just as happy, or not, but it wouldn't have been because there was something better out there. There are people who we're more compatible with than others; take you and me, for example: we make great friends. But that doesn't mean it's impossible for us to have different friends who we're just as happy with.”
I frowned, watching the waves. “But have you ever even been in love?”
Mina laughed and shook her head. “Nope,” she said. “I haven't even been in a steady relationship unless you want to count whatever that was with Nicky.”
“That wasn't a relationship,” I said, rolling my eyes as I remembered her on-and-off fling from the previous year. He'd come to a bunch of events and things like that with us, but he'd wanted that to be a relationship more than she had. And as soon as he had started hinting toward something more, Mina had cut him loose.
“I kind of admire your ability. So, tell me, what do you need out of a relationship?” Mina asked. “Sex, right? You can get sex without being in a relationship.”
“There's more to a relationship than that,” I protested. “There's intimacy, and-”
“You can't get much more intimate than sex,” Mina interrupted.
“Maybe not, but there's also support, and, I don't know.” I didn't know what I was looking for in a relationship. Maybe that was why they never really seemed to work out for me.
“But anything that you can get from a relationship, you get from friendship,” Mina pointed out.
“Yeah, but plenty of people say that that's what a relationship is,” I reminded her. “They say that it's like being with their best friend. Plus, you get the added intimacy of sex and everything else. Living together for a long time. Sharing the same life path.”
“But that doesn't mean that you love one another,” Mina said. She scanned the waves and pointed to one. “Not to cut this short, but I'm going to catch that one.”
I laughed and watched her go, thinking things over.
I never really knew what to think about love and relationships. I got a lot of people in the massage parlor who were in Hawaii on their honeymoons or their anniversaries. And they all seemed happy. At the same time, like Mina said, that didn't mean that they wouldn't have been perfectly happy with someone else. Maybe it did all come down to how much work you were willing to put into maintaining the relationship. But in that case, it came back to you, rather than your connection to the other person. You could make that sort of commitment to anyone.
“You're still thinking about it, aren't you?” Mina asked as we finally dusted the sand off our feet and loaded our surfboards into the back of her truck.
“About what?” I asked.
“I'd love to say that you were still thinking about the whole true love thing, but I guess the crux of it is probably that you're still thinking about running into Lino the other night at the luau.” I must have looked guilty because she shook her head. “Gretchen,” she said critically.
I spread my arms in a wide shrug. “I can't help it,” I said. “What if he was the one and I just wasn't willing to work hard enough at it?”
Mina shook her head. “See, things like this are exactly why I refuse to believe in the notion of true love,” she told me. “Because then people delude themselves into thinking that they have to stay in relationships that are really toxic for them. You know that what you had with Lino wasn't true love. Even if you believe in the idea of true love, you must realize that what the two of you had was nothing like what you read about in those books that you love.”
“I don't know, though,” I said uncertainly. “He wasn't always such a gentleman, and-”
“Not always such a gentleman?” Mina interrupted angrily, her voice laden with disbelief. “Do you remember why he left you? You can't tell me that you're ready to forgive that, for the sake of true love. That would defeat the whole purpose of love.”
I shook my head. “But if I'd been-”
“No,” Mina said before I even really knew what I was about to say. “Don't say that you should have been something different and that things would have worked out between the two of you if you had been. In that case, he should have been with someone else the whole time.”
“I guess,” I said. That did make sense. “I just can't help thinking about the connection that we had,” I told her. “That we still have. That's the thing, Mina. I know you think I'm crazy, and I know you probably don't understand since you've never been in a real relationship before. But standing there last night, even though I know that we're not in a relationship anymore, I felt like he was a magnet, drawing me in.”
“That's lust, nothing more,” Mina said. “You haven't had sex in too long, and your lady parts are wishing for it.” She pulled up outside my house. “Seriously, Gretchen, I want you to promise me that you're not about to get back into things with Lino, of all people. You could do so much better than that, and I hope you know it.”
I sighed. “I don't think I'm going to get back into things with Lino,” I told her.
“Good,” she said firmly. “And forget all that nonsense about finding your true love. That stuff only exists in books. Maybe those books make a nice escape from reality, but they're just that: an escape from reality. In real life, things work differently. Trust me.”
I shook my head. “We'll have to agree to disagree, I guess.” I smiled at her. “I'll see you tomorrow morning.”
“See you tomorrow,” Mina said, smiling back at me.
I walked slowly up to my porch, thinking over the conversation. I glanced over at my book, which was still sitting there next to my hammock, waiting for me to get back to it. “Maybe Gretchen is right,” I murmured to myself. “Maybe true love only does exist in those books.”
Chapter Seven
Christian
With so much travel in my life over the past ten years, I had my system down pat at this point. I could sleep through nearly everything on the flight, but I somehow always managed to wake up just before the wheels touched down.
I filed through the airport with everyone else and stepped out into shockingly warm weather. When I'd left New York, it had been 43˚F. Here, it was a balmy 72˚F, if the pilot was to be believed. There were palm trees swaying in a warm breeze, and everywhere I looked, there were beautiful, tanned women walking around in shorts and crop tops.
I had to wonder why I'd never come to Hawaii before. The ski vacations had been fun, but there was a big difference between picking up a woman wearing a chunky sweater and picking up a woman wearing a sundress: with the latter, you knew exactly what you were getting.
I threw my duffel bag into the back of a cab. I'd packed light, figuring I could always pick up whatever I needed once I arrived. I didn't own that many summery clothes anyway. Sure, I had some shorts, but most of them were formal that I could wear to work. Nothing that you'd wear to a beach.
I slipped into the cab, barely refraining from rolling my eyes at the way the cabbie was staring at me. “You're Christian Wall!” he said.
Spotted already.
“That's right,” I said. “I need to get to the Golden Palm Resort. Can you take me there?”
“Sure thing,” he said, flicking o
n the meter. As we started driving, he kept glancing over at me. “I just can't believe that you're here!” he said. “My friends are never going to believe that I drove Christian Wall from the airport.”
I sighed. “Please don't tell anyone,” I asked. God, I should have made the kid sign an NDA before I got in the car or something. Not that I ever minded the attention, but I was trying to be low-key here. I'd picked a quiet little resort for a reason. If I'd wanted my name splashed all over the news, I would have run off to Europe to booze my way through the best clubs in the world.
I didn't know why I hadn't. I just wanted the trip to be something different.
“Oh, you're trying to keep things hush-hush, hmm?” the kid—Mark, his nametag said—asked. “That makes sense. Man, you were all over the news last week.”
I raised an eyebrow at him. “Usually it's just girls who know my reputation,” I told him.
“Oh no,” Mark said, shaking his head as he changed lanes. “A lot of my friends all follow what you're up to. We only wish we could be you.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, laughing a little. “You wish you could be a whole company's...” I grimaced, not even sure what word I wanted. I still maintained that I hadn't fucked anything up, but all the same…
“Nah, man, with the chicks and the money and all of that,” Mark said. “You could quit your job, buy a house on the beach, and just surf every day. All day, every day.”
I snorted. “I mean, I could, I guess,” I said. “I'd probably get sick of surfing after a while, though.”
“You could never get sick of surfing,” Mark said, shaking his head. “Every new wave that you catch is a different wave. It's just like fucking, man. Every girl is different. And even if you have sex with the same girl twice, well…”
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