“Emotions are confusing,” Christian said, nodding his head. “I get that.” He sighed and shook his head. “Honestly? He's probably starting to realize what he lost. You look so incredibly beautiful tonight, and seeing you around your friends, so happy, lit up by the firelight.” He laughed and ran a hand back through his hair. “Listen to me,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I sound like some bad poet.”
I was silent for a long moment, thinking over what he'd just said. Thinking about the fact that I felt like I was somehow privileged enough to see the real Christian Wall, the one who the rest of the world never got to see. Because here, in these moments where he seemed uncertain, where he seemed like he was trying to understand himself as much as me. The rest of the world got the cool and confident Christian Wall, the one who was an expert salesman and slept with a different woman every night of the week. And nothing more.
I spun to face him, leaning up on my toes and kissing him, unable to stop myself. “You're pretty amazing, yourself,” I told him shyly. There was more that I wanted to say, but I knew that we were already getting too far into this. I left it at that for now.
But from the way that Christian smiled knowingly down at me when I said those words, I wondered if he could hear all the other words in my voice regardless.
Chapter Twenty-One
Christian
A couple of weeks after the luau, I was chilling with Mark in my hotel suite. “So, you still have no plans to leave Hawaii?” he asked curiously.
I shrugged over at him. “Nope. No firm plans,” I said. “I need to get back to work eventually, but they can wait until at least the New Year. They told me to come back when I'm ready, and I don't feel quite ready to go yet.”
“Because of Gretchen,” Mark said. It wasn't a question.
I laughed a little. “Yeah, mostly because of Gretchen,” I admitted.
“You know, I really would have thought you'd have moved on to someone else by now,” Mark mused. “It's not like there's any shortage of attractive women here in Hawaii, and I'm sure they'd all be bending over backward to slip between the sheets with the great Christian Wall!”
I shrugged again, not sure how to explain to him that the appeal just wasn't there. “Honestly, I would have expected that too,” I admitted. “But Gretchen and I have a lot of fun together. She keeps me on my toes. And,” I winked at him, “she's great in the sack.”
“I figured she must be,” Mark said, smirking at me. “You wouldn't settle for less, would you?”
“Of course not,” I said, rolling my eyes. “A friend who you don't enjoy having sex with is meant to be just a friend.”
Mark laughed. “Such an obvious thing, but how many people do you bet are in relationships because they like the person as a friend but hate having sex with them?”
“Right?” I said, shaking my head. “Just doesn't make any sense.” I hummed a little. “I'm lucky, though. Gretchen's the full package.”
“So, what, you're going to get engaged to her and never leave Hawaii? Never look at another woman again?”
I rolled my eyes and shoved him lightly. “Come on, man, be realistic,” I said. Then, I sobered up a little, frowning. “Even if I wanted that to happen, and I'm not saying that I do, there's no way to do that. I have my job, my home, and my whole life back in New York. All my friends are there, and-”
“Ouch, man,” Mark said, clutching at his chest like I'd wounded him. “You don't consider me to be a friend?”
I snorted. “You're just my driver,” I joked. Then, I shook my head. “You've also been great since I've been here, Mark. Thanks for that.”
Mark shrugged, looking a bit awkward. “Are we supposed to hug or something now, dude?” he asked.
I laughed. “Nah. But you are supposed to drive me over to the massage parlor. Let's go.”
“Sure, sure,” Mark said, pushing up from his sprawl on the couch and leading the way toward the door. He opened it and bowed me through, an ironic gesture that had me rolling my eyes again.
At the massage parlor, I waited patiently out in the front room for Gretchen to finish up her current appointment. I hadn't told her that I was coming over, but I had asked what her schedule looked like for the day, so I knew that she would have her lunch break after this appointment. I wanted to surprise her and take her out to a place down on the waterfront which had just opened the week before. They were reputed to have really good seafood, and I knew Gretchen would probably like it.
I flipped through one of the ladies’ magazines on the table, glancing impatiently at my watch now and then. It was my fault for showing up fifteen minutes early, but I'd wanted to make sure I got to spend as much time with her as I could. She'd been busy lately with the vacationers beginning to arrive, and even in the evenings when she didn't have customers, she was usually pretty tired and ready just to curl up and watch a movie with me.
Finally, she came out of the massage room with her client, a tall and leggy blonde with shockingly green eyes and a scattering of freckles across her nose. She was the kind of girl who I would have gone for back in New York, but next to Gretchen's exotic looks, she just wasn't that appealing.
She recognized me, though.
“Oh, my god!” she said, putting a hand to her mouth. “Christian Wall?”
I fought to keep from grimacing. Back in New York, whenever girls had recognized me, I'd been so suave, because of course, they recognized me. Here in Hawaii, most people seemed to either not know who I was or else not care who I was. And I'd come to like having that anonymity.
“Hey,” I said, giving her a winning smile. “Are you enjoying Hawaii as much as I am?”
The woman laughed, tossing her head a little, no doubt to make sure I noticed her long, flowing hair. “Yeah, it's great here, isn't it? I just got the best massage, too. That's what you're here for, right?”
I glanced at Gretchen. “I'm just here to see a friend,” I told her.
“Oh, cool,” the woman said. “You should consider getting a massage.” She stretched, her shirt riding up a little and revealing a tanned swath of flat stomach. “I feel great.” Then, she narrowed her eyes at me, a smirk on her face. “But you know what would make me feel better? If you would do me the honor of taking you out to dinner tomorrow night. I know this great little place near my resort, with these incredible ocean views and even better food.”
I blinked at her. On the one hand, I appreciated how direct she was. Usually, I was the one asking girls out, not the other way around. I liked a girl who knew what she wanted and went after it.
My eyes slipped over to Gretchen again. I winked at her. “Sorry, sweetheart,” I told the blonde girl. “No can do, I've got other plans for tomorrow.”
“Oh,” she said, looking disappointed. Then, she shrugged. “Maybe some other time, then.” She dug into her purse for a moment and handed me a crisp business card. Ashley McMahon, Public Defendant. “That's got my number on it,” she said. “You should give me a call. I'm here for two weeks.”
I grinned at her and then tried to school my expression back to neutral, knowing that Gretchen must be watching this. I slid the card into my pocket, not even bothering to put it in my wallet. As much as I appreciated her advances, if I was going to go home with anyone in Hawaii, it was going to be Gretchen.
“If I have a free night, I'll give you a call,” I promised the woman.
She smiled one last time and came in for a quick hug. Then, she finally left the massage parlor, leaving a cloying trail of perfume in her wake.
Gretchen wrinkled her nose and then turned to me, her hands on her hips. “You're already up to something tomorrow, huh?” she asked, her voice sounding steely.
I raised an eyebrow at her. “Look, I can't help if women hit on me, all right? I haven't been sleeping with anyone except you; you should know that.”
Gretchen rolled her eyes, but I could see the way she was starting to look like she might cry. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what her proble
m was; had she not seen the way I had just turned down a date with that woman Ashley?
“But you're dating other people,” Gretchen said. “You might not be sleeping with them, but you're, what, going to get dinner with someone else tomorrow? See how things go, and maybe you'll start sleeping with other women.”
I blinked at her. And then realized what her confusion was. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said, holding up both hands in a placating gesture. I took a step toward her, but she took a step back. “Gretchen, hey,” I said even more gently. “What I meant is that I'm taking you out tomorrow night. You have no idea how much I'd rather go to dinner with you than with some random girl who just knows my name and whatever has been in the news about me.”
Gretchen looked confused and then embarrassed. “Oh,” she said. She picked at the hem of her sleeve, and I couldn't help but find her shyness endearing.
“I'm not sleeping with anyone else,” I told her. “I'm not dating anyone else, either. I have zero desire to do so.”
“Sorry,” Gretchen said.
I laughed a little. “Honestly, it's kind of cute, seeing you get jealous like that,” I told her. “I've had women jealous over me before, but it’s different with you.” I shook my head. I didn't know what it was about her, maybe the fact that I was flattered that Gretchen was jealous that I might want to sleep with some other woman?
Gretchen cocked her head to the side. “So, where were you thinking of taking me tomorrow night, then?” she asked challengingly.
I sighed. “Unfortunately, my plan was to take you to the new seafood place for lunch today, so I guess that's out for tomorrow.”
Gretchen laughed. “Is that what you're doing here?” she glanced at her watch. “How 'bout this? I don't have time to do that for lunch today, but we could wander down to that little sandwich place on the corner and get paninis, and then tomorrow night for dinner, maybe we could go down to the seafood place? I've heard that the sunset from there is incredible, and I only work until four tomorrow.”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “That sounds great, unless you already had other plans for tomorrow night?”
Gretchen rolled her eyes. “Unfortunately, we can't all be as popular as the great Christian Wall.”
I sighed. “You know, I have been getting used to not being recognized everywhere that I go.”
“Poor baby, feeling like you're losing relevance in the world?” Gretchen asked teasingly.
I frowned at her. “The thing is, and I would never have believed this a couple of months ago, it's kind of nice to have that anonymity. I always thrived in the limelight, but it's also nice to just-” I broke off with a short laugh, running a hand back through my hair.
Gretchen looked like she understood me, though, nodding sagely. “Yeah, I can imagine,” she said, shrugging a little. “I love that I get to live here, but the fact that I've grown up with all of these people means that after a while, everyone knows everything about you. They all have their opinions about everything you do as well. I can only imagine what it must feel like when it's the entire world that has those expectations about you.”
I couldn't help staring at her in shock for a long moment, surprised at how well she understood me. Then, I nodded. “That's exactly it,” I told her. I shook my head and held out my arm to her. “Anyway, let's go to lunch. We wouldn't want to keep your afternoon clients waiting, or you'll be the talk of the island!”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Gretchen
I'd never really been the type to sleep in, but with the amount that I'd been working over the past few weeks, staying in bed until eight was really luxurious. I stretched, reveling in the fact that I had three whole days off from work: Christmas Eve, Christmas, and the day after Christmas. And it was guilt-free time off, too. Most people were spending the holidays with their families, and they weren't booking appointments anyway.
Finally, I rolled out of bed and hopped in the shower, scrubbing my hair and thinking of my plans for the next few days. Not that I had plans. Basically, I just wanted to relax as much as possible. It had been a while since I had given myself permission just to do nothing. I didn't even have errands to run. I'd caught up on all of those last weekend, knowing that a lot of the stores on the island would be closed for the holidays as well.
I finally climbed out from beneath the warm cascade of water and toweled off. Then, I got dressed in a soft sundress and headed out to the porch with my book. Before I could reach the door, though, there was a knock on it. I frowned and set my book on the table just inside the front hall, wondering who it could be. Probably Mina, but I'd expected her to take advantage of her days off and stay in bed until at least noon.
It was Christian.
I smiled at him, grin growing even broader when he held up coffee and a paper bag from my favorite bakery. “Good morning, darling,” he said, leaning in for a quick kiss. “I brought breakfast for the two of us, if you're interested.”
“Of course, I'm interested,” I said, eyeing the bag.
Christian laughed. “One streusel muffin, one pumpkin muffin, and one cranberry muffin,” he told me. “I wasn't sure which you'd be in the mood for. And then I realized that we could just cut all three of them in half and share, unless you're opposed to that idea.”
I laughed and hugged him, mindful of the things in his hands. “You're the best,” I told him fondly. “Come on.” I led him out to the back porch, and we sat down at the table there.
“So,” Christian said, popping a bite of muffin into his mouth and chewing slowly. “What are you going to do now that you have three full days off?”
I shook my head. “I have no idea,” I told him. “I'm going to Skype with my parents at some point tomorrow to wish them a happy Christmas and act surprised as I open the care package that my mother sent me, even though I already have a pretty good idea of what she's sent me. But other than that, I'm mainly just focusing on relaxing. Maybe I'll get some surfing in or something too. The beaches usually aren't too crowded on Christmas since most people are off with their families. Not sure what the weather forecast looks like, though.”
“Probably warm and humid,” Christian said, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He shook his head. “This is honestly all so strange to me after growing up with New York winters. I think I've only been out of New York a handful of times in my life for Christmas, and it was always to places in Europe that were just as cold or colder.”
I laughed. “Yeah, it can take some getting used to,” I said. “You can imagine how we all feel, watching American and British Christmas specials. Nearly every single one of you guys are dreaming about a white Christmas, and I've never had a white Christmas in my life!”
“Have you even ever seen snow before?” Christian asked curiously.
“A couple of times,” I admitted, shuddering a little. “I avoid that kind of cold as best I can, though. I'll always be a Hawaiian girl at heart.”
Christian laughed, but there was something dark in his eyes; maybe he was thinking about the fact that he was going to have to leave eventually, and that I wasn't going to be going with him? It was a thought that I seemed to keep having lately. No matter how good things were going between us, no matter how easily the conversation flowed, we were from different worlds, and there was no meshing our lives together. I had to be realistic about that.
That said, Mina's reminders to enjoy what I had at the moment were starting to sink in.
“Hey,” I said, reaching over and lightly squeezing his hand. “At least we get to spend the next few days together, right?”
“That's true,” Christian agreed, smiling over at me.
“Hey, you two lovebirds,” Mina said, coming through the sliding glass door from my house. “I was wondering where you were,” she said to me, a frown on her face. “You're usually out reading in your hammock at this point.”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “And you're usually still in bed,” I retorted teasingly. I nudged a chair towar
d her. “Come on, Christian bought three muffins and expects the two of us to be able to finish them. You know how big Myra's muffins are.”
Mina laughed and sat down at the table with us, looking shyly over at Christian. “Good morning, Mr. Christian Wall,” she said.
He laughed. “Come on,” he said, shaking his head. “Don't do the star-struck thing around me; I just want to have a nice, casual breakfast. You can at least call me Christian Wall, none of this 'Mr.' stuff.”
Mina giggled and stole some of my muffins. “So, what are you guys up to today?” she asked.
“We were still trying to figure that out,” I admitted. Then, I glanced over at Christian, wondering if breakfast had maybe only been the start of his plans for us. “Or I was still trying to figure that out.”
“Me too,” Christian said, shrugging. “Not to be rude, and I'm sure both of you would disagree, but I feel as though I've done everything that there is to do on this island at this point. It's been a few weeks here now, and I've run out of ideas.”
I snorted, and Mina shook her head. “You're just getting started,” she chided. She looked over at me. “Have you taken him up to the caves yet?”
I gave her a sharp look. She knew that the last time I'd been up to the caves, it had been with Lino. I couldn't believe that she had brought that up.
Except that, of course, she was always pushing me to get over Lino. Maybe she thought that things like that, getting rid of our special places and writing new memories for myself, would do the trick.
I shook my head. “I don't want to go up to the caves today,” I said. “These next few days are supposed to be all about relaxing. Taking a hike is not a relaxing thing to do.”
“So, what, you're just going to chill out down at the beach for three days in a row?” Mina asked, looking skeptical.
“Maybe,” I said, almost defensively, causing her to laugh again.
“Gretchen, you know as well as I do, and Christian knows that you aren't the type of girl who can spend three days just lazing around on the beach,” she said.
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