by Ruby Rowe
“Thank you. Aside from being home with Maddie and my family in time for Christmas, this is the most special gift I’ve ever received.”
“You’re welcome.”
I pull Sailor close to me. “Do you take photos of all your students?”
“No. As soon as you told me about Marcy, I began taking random shots with my phone. I’d planned to give them to you to pass along, but once I drew Marcy’s name, it seemed like the perfect time. I guess I should’ve given the album to her privately, though.”
“It’s OK. I don’t think she minded.”
“Sailor, it’s your turn to open your present from me,” Maddie says.
“I can’t wait.” My hyper niece wrings her hands, doing all she can to resist grabbing the box and opening it herself. There’s barely room for Sailor to take off the lid as Mads leans over to see, too, like she’s already forgotten what’s inside, but I know that’s not the case.
After pulling out the shiny, silver whistle, Sailor snickers, and Maddie points at it.
“That’s a whistle so you can blow it every time Logan is being a B.U.T.T.”
“Maddie!” is said simultaneously by everyone in the room, minus Sailor and I, who can’t stop laughing.
“Well, we shouldn’t call Logan that name, but I have to agree; the whistle will come in handy when he and some of his friends are misbehaving.”
“Yeah, like when they’re chasing me and my friends on the playground.”
“Turn it over,” I say. Sailor does as I instruct and giggles again when she eyes the #1 Teacher printed on the side. Leaning over, she gives Maddie yet another hug.
“Thank you. It’s the best gift ever.” She turns to me next and murmurs, “It’s also the best Christmas I’ve ever had. Thank you.”
And just like that, it feels as if Sailor’s all mine again.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Elliott
“Sailor, you gotta tell me what’s going on,” I say as she sits next to me in the car I reserved for our drive to the airport.
“I’m fine.”
“You keep saying that, but I know you’re not.”
“Really, I am.” She squeezes my hand and smiles, but it’s unconvincing.
“No, because there’s a bubble of blood on your lower lip.” Using the pad of my thumb, I brush it away. “Your lips are too beautiful to abuse. You’ve been biting on them when you’re stressed ever since you were a kid, and if you chew on the inside of your cheek, I know shit’s really bad.”
“OK, I’m not fine, but I don’t want to tell you why since this is our time together.”
“Then it’s about Jake.”
Sighing, she looks out the passenger window.
“When I was with him yesterday, I was worrying about you. Today, after seeing how sad he looked when we left, I’m worrying about him. I think this situation is harder on all of us than we expected.”
“He’s a grown man. He’ll be all right.”
She turns her head back to me. “Jake’s not as strong as we are. He hasn’t had to be. Yeah, his job’s brutal, but he’s never had to go it alone. His family is profoundly supportive, like nothing I’ve witnessed before.
“I didn’t even know there were families like his. I thought that was only made-up shit on television. He’s never had his heart broken or lost someone he’s loved, either.” She shrugs. “He’s softhearted, and I guess I’m worried I’ll be the first to break his heart.”
I’m sighing now as I bring her hand up and kiss it.
“Baby, your thoughtfulness causes you undo stress. Seeing how much you worry, and overanalyze, is painful to watch, and I think this is one of those instances where you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. I’ve known Jake many years now, and he’s tougher than you think.”
“Since this was his bright idea, I thought he’d handle it the best, but I feel like you are, and it’s surprising.”
“Listen to me. I’m grateful and lucky you even give me a chance. Yeah, I’d prefer to have you all to myself, but because I was a coward and didn’t find you long before you met Jake, this is the price I have to pay … the compromise I have to make, and I can live with it if it means I get to live my life with you.”
Cradling my cheek, she blinks away her tears. Those goddamn tears. I want them to stop flowing forever.
“You say the deepest, sweetest words when I least expect them. I love that about you, the way you’re strong and confident … dominant, too, yet you trust me enough to tell me how you feel.”
“I do trust you. I also trust that Jake will tell us if he can’t deal with this. We all agreed to call a meeting if there was a serious problem.”
“You’re right. He told us to go and have a good time.”
“Jake looks forward to the holidays the way kids look forward to opening their presents, so he’s pouting since he can’t take you to Jeanine’s family gathering for Christmas. He’ll live, and he’ll be thrilled to see you when we get home.”
Our driver pulls up to the curb at the airport drop-off.
“Now, enough about Jake. Let’s go have some fun of our own.” For the first time today, lust reveals itself in her curious gaze, and damn, I look forward to having time alone with her. Thank fuck my damn headache went away. I still have this annoying cough, but I can deal with that.
We wait by the vehicle as the driver retrieves our bags, and although the freezing winter air is Mother Nature’s way of putting arrogant New Yorkers (who think their city is better than all others) in their places, I’m determined to take what I want this minute.
Sailor starts walking, but I grab her waist and bring her close against me. I give her a deep kiss she’ll never forget, and once I’ve thoroughly shown her what she has to look forward to this week, I skim my thumb over her mouth. “Oh, and this lip’s only for me to bite.”
“I can’t believe what I’m seeing,” I hear someone say from behind me. I turn around, already recognizing the voice, and sure enough, Jeanine, Jake’s mother, is standing before us, glaring.
“Oh, fuck.”
“Sailor, I obviously didn’t know your character at all, but Elliott, how could you do this to Jake? I’m stunned.”
“It’s not what it looks like.”
“How stupid do you think I am? People don’t kiss like that unless it’s exactly what I suspect.”
“Jeanine, Jake knows. It’s–it’s complicated,” Sailor replies. Jake’s mom shakes her head, the disgust transforming her face into my father’s. The disappointment … I remember it vividly.
“She’s telling the truth. Jake and I are both in relationships with Sailor.” Sucking in the frigid air, I cough.
“I’m not naïve to my son’s philandering ways, but he’d never agree to something like this, especially when he’s finally in love.”
“Jeanine, I’m so sorry you had to find out this way,” Sailor says anxiously.
“I’m Mrs. Callister to both of you now, and if you think your story is going to prevent me from telling Jake, you’re sorely mistaken.”
She stomps away, and Sailor stands frozen in her spot, staring at the ground. I pull on her arm to move us indoors, but she doesn’t budge.
“Baby, we need to go. We can talk inside.” I watch as the tears flood her eyes, the emotions building like a tidal wave, and fucking hell. Sailor begins to wail as we stand next to the curb of the bustling airport.
New Yorkers are used to seeing and ignoring it all, the bizarre and uncomfortable, but Sailor’s cries are so loud that heads are turning. Pulling her to me, I wrap my coat around her body and feel her heartache vibrating against my chest. How can I fix this?
“You’re shivering. We have to go inside.” Placing the carry-on bag over my shoulder, I pick up our suitcase, grip Sailor’s hand and pull her to the doors. Worried she won’t go on this trip with me, I never release her. She only stares at the floor as I go through the motions of checking us in to our flight.
We make it to the sec
urity line, and holding her face, I duck to ensure she looks me in the eye. “The minute we sit down at the gate, we’ll call Jake and let him know what happened. He’ll handle it, and it’ll be OK.”
She clenches her eyes shut and shakes her head.
“No, his parents will never see you and me the same. I was so stupid to think this could work. I’ve ruined your relationship with them, and you barely have any family as it is. I feel so guilty.”
Clutching her to my chest, I stroke her cool hair and ponder what she said. Maybe Sailor isn’t strong enough for this. I thought since she stood her ground with her parents about living her own authentic life that she could stand up to the rest of the world if they didn’t approve of the lifestyle we chose.
What I didn’t consider was how she would react if this caused problems between Jake and his family. She doesn’t care what my mother thinks, and for good reason, but she’ll never allow Jake to be on the outs with his family all because of her. Never. Fuck, what does that mean for the three of us and our future?
Jake
I’m drying off after my shower when I hear the doorbell ring. Grabbing a pair of athletic shorts, I jerk them on and hurry to answer the door.
“One second!” Looking in the peephole, I see my mother. What is she doing here? She should be getting ready to go to my grandparents’ house. I open the door, and the look on her face nauseates me. Shit, did someone die?
“Mom, what’s wrong?”
“We need to talk.” She pushes her way past me, so I shut the door and follow her into the living room. Turning around, she points at me. “I can’t believe I have to have this conversation with you, but I do, and I want you to be completely honest with me.”
“All right, but why aren’t you getting ready for our dinner?”
“Your father wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I took Aunt Betty to the airport.”
“Oh,” I say solemnly, knowing in an instant why she’s here.
“I saw Elliott and Sailor there together.”
“Have a seat,” I say, pointing to the couch. She sits, and I run a hand over my damp hair before I sit down in the chair closest to the door, feeling like I might need to make a run for it, even though that’s absurd. “I already knew they were going to the airport together.”
“Dammit, Jake. You weren’t supposed to know because I don’t want to believe that what they told me is true.” My mom rests her elbows on her long black skirt and rubs her forehead.
“Yes, we’re both seeing Sailor.”
Lifting her head, she shoots me a look of astonishment.
“How could you? I’ve seen how in love you are with her, and I truly believed she loved you back.”
“She does.”
My mother shakes her head. “No. Not possible.”
“It’s true, and you need to let me explain. Sailor and I developed feelings for each other fast, but then Elliott came home from work one day while Sailor was over, and I discovered they’d known each other for years.
“They hadn’t come face to face in over a decade, though, so they were shocked to see one another. I found out Sailor had been in love with him since she was a teenager, and those feelings quickly resurfaced.
“Once I found out, I was sure she’d choose him over me, since they had a history, and when I say they had history, I’m talking about serious shit.
“Anyway, Elliott and I both dated Sailor while she tried to figure out who she wanted, but she loved us both and could never choose, so she dumped us. Elliott and I decided then that we’d rather share her than not have her at all. Actually, it was my idea.”
“You know I’m open-minded, Jake, but this is too odd.”
“I understand it’s not conventional, and it’s especially not like your relationship with Dad, but it works for us. I know you mean well. You’re my mom and will only ever want what’s best for me, so I’m telling you right now that being with Sailor is what’s best for me.”
Still astonished over how I fell hard and fast for Sailor, I shake my head. “I love her so damn much, Mom, and Elliott has as much right to love her, too. You don’t know what they’ve been through together. I’m actually lucky she made room for me.”
“No, see, that’s what I’m talking about.” Mom stands and wags her finger at me. “Somehow, she and Elliott have convinced you that you’re not enough for her, and I can’t accept that.”
“Well, we’re a package deal.”
Huffing a breath, she walks over and kisses my cheek.
“I have to go, but you need to think long and hard about what I said. No matter what choices you make in life, I’ll love you until I take my last breath, but know that it will break my heart if you allow yourself to be treated this way. Your father won’t understand it, either, and you better believe he’ll be having this same talk with you.”
She stomps out of the house, and I let out a growl, feeling the need to punch something. Her reaction was worse than I expected, which means my father’s probably will be, too.
Hearing my cell ring, I jog to my bedroom to answer it.
“Jake…” Sailor says, but that’s the only word she exhales before sobbing into the phone.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Elliott
“Christ,” I mumble before I take the phone from Sailor as we wait in the terminal for our flight.
“Jake, it’s Elliott.”
“I heard you saw my mother. She just left the condo.”
“Damn, she didn’t waste any time telling you.”
“She’s super pissed, like fiercely against the three of us being together. I didn’t think she’d be thrilled about it, but I wasn’t expecting this reaction.”
“She’ll get over it after she sees that this works for us.”
“Is it working?” he asks.
Holding the phone away from my ear, I say, “I’ll be right back” to Sailor and stride away to talk privately with Jake. “What the hell, man?”
“Maybe this was a bad idea,” he replies.
“Dammit, this was your idea.”
“And I don’t need a constant reminder.”
“Sailor’s an absolute mess today. I’m telling you right now that this will blow up in our faces if she thinks it’s hurting us.”
“I know, but it’s becoming harder than I expected. It’s … getting real.”
“It’s the holidays. We’re seeing our families more, and we’re sentimental and shit, but we’ll fall back into a routine soon. It’ll only be you, Sailor and me.”
“You know that’s bullshit. I see my family all the time, and I seriously don’t think they’re going to have anything to do with either of you again.”
“Your mom found out less than an hour ago. You have to give her time to adjust to the idea. God, you’re like Sailor, making this a bigger deal than it needs to be.”
“I’m sorry if I’m having a little more trouble sharing than you. I grew up with a different set of values.”
“Yeah, a set you didn’t care if you followed until Sailor came along. Don’t act like you’re a saint with old-fashioned views.”
“I’m not, but I can’t help that I wasn’t ecstatic to see her leave with you this morning after I’d had the best two days of my life with her.”
I rub my eyes. “Jake, I’m sorry. I wish we each had our own Sailor, but that’s not possible.”
“I need time to think.”
“What does that mean?”
“I need to think about whether I can do this forever.”
“It would crush Sailor to hear you say that, so I’m not breathing a word of it to her. We’re not supposed to care what other people think about this arrangement, so what bullshit did Jeanine feed you, anyway?”
“I have to go.”
“What do I tell Sailor? She’s devastated and is going to ask a million questions.”
“I don’t know, Elliott. It’s an answer I wish I had.”
He hangs up on me, and I squeeze my phone, wi
shing I could shatter it into a hundred pieces. I start coughing up a storm, from my throat being dry, and it has to be from all this damn talking.
I hate having to discuss feelings this much, and it seems like that’s all we do anymore. It’s always one bullshit problem after another with Jake and this triad relationship I never dreamed I’d be a part of.
It’s all going to blow up. I feel it down to my core, so it’s more important than ever that I reaffirm to Sailor how much I love her. If Jake’s stupid and walks away, I’m not losing her, too.
Sailor
While waiting for Elliott to get off the phone with Jake, I pick at the strap on my new Birkin bag until I’ve pulled a thread loose. Shit, Mom would be furious if she knew.
My parents gave it to me last night for Christmas, and all I could think about was how much fun I had seeing all the gifts exchanged at Jake’s parents’ home yesterday.
The presents cost next to nothing because everyone there knew the gifts weren’t what mattered most. It was the love given with them that counted.
I drop my head and weep again, thinking about how I’ll never experience another holiday with Jake’s family. Will he even want me after he finds out how disgusted his mother is?
Elliott grips my shoulder as he sits next to me.
“Sailor, please stop crying. It’s gutting me like you wouldn’t believe.” Raising my head, I suck in a breath. He doesn’t deserve this.
Even though he was still feeling bad physically, Elliott woke up early to ensure we were packed and ready to go. His face was radiant like the lighthouse I’ve been looking for all my life, yet I’ve stayed anchored to Jake all morning.
Brushing my tears away, I squeeze his hand.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s OK. Jake’s mom went right over to see him. He explained, so I’m sure with time, she’ll come around.”
“With time… That means she didn’t understand.”
“Jeanine’s open-minded, but since Jake hadn’t told her, it’s understandable why she’d freak out. I mean, she saw us kissing.”