The very definition of fun in the sun.
It took a while but it all eventually drowned out the constant what ifs rolling through my head. What if we get caught? What if someone sees our school uniforms and decides to turn us in? What if it all goes wrong?
What if? What if?
But, just when I’m about to break down completely, Fox nudges my arm, smiles, and points at the pinball machines. Or at the street acrobats bending in half. Or at the food carts my father would kill me for even looking at. He distracts me from whatever is going through my head.
And just like that, I stop thinking altogether and the only sound I hear above the waves and the seagulls is the pounding of my heart every single time I smile back.
Fox returns to my bench at the front of the pier with two corn dogs on paper trays filled with mustard and ketchup. I take one, laughing to myself as I pinch the brittle stick.
“What?” Fox asks, taking a seat beside me.
“I haven’t had one of these since I was a kid,” I say. “Not even sure I like them.”
Fox bites off the tip of his ketchup-coated dog. “What’s not to love?” he asks.
I take a cautious bite and my mouth waters the instant I hear that soft crunching sound. “Okay, this is nice,” I say.
“Might as well have fun while you still can. From now on, you’re feminine. Wild.” He mocks and throws an excited fist into the air. “You’re Roxie.”
I roll my eyes. “Please, don’t call me that.”
Fox smiles. “I knew you hated it.”
“No, I don’t hate it. It’s… fine.”
He raises a brow.
I sigh. “It’d just be nice if there were still someone in my life who didn’t use it.”
“You don’t want to forget who you are,” he says with a nod.
His words sink deep into me. “Yeah,” I say slowly. “Actually hadn’t thought of it that way.”
“Well,” Fox takes another bite, “I am more than happy to defy Bennett’s annoying will, so Dani you shall be.”
I smile. “Thanks.”
“So, what’s your big, important movie about?”
“It’s kind of a thriller-slash-drama about a guy who gets hired to find a man’s missing daughter.” I point at myself. “That’s me.”
“Cool.”
“But she doesn’t actually know she’s missing because she was kidnapped at such a young age. The family she grew up with isn’t really her family.”
Fox feigns a gasp. “A twist!”
“It’s very twisty.”
“You don’t seem all that excited about it, though.”
“How could you tell?”
He merely shrugs, his eyes smug and amused.
“Well, other than the fact that I’m going to miss the end of my sophomore year because of it…” I exhale. “I’m kinda nervous.”
He waves a hand. “Eh, you’ll be fine. You’ve done plenty of stage stuff already. Can’t be that different in front of a camera.”
“I’m not nervous about that.”
“Then, what?”
“It’s…” My cheeks burn. “Well, the role is kind of mature and I have to… kiss my co-star.”
Fox shrugs. “And?”
I hesitate for a little too long and he cocks his head.
“You’ve never been kissed before?” he asks.
“Pfft! Yeah. Of course, I…” I exhale, unable to even believe my own crap. “No. Not exactly.”
He laughs. “Really?”
I cringe. “Yes. Really.”
“You?”
“Look, you don’t have to rub it in, okay.” I retreat an inch. “It’s embarrassing enough already.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t be embarrassed. It’s kinda cute, actually.”
I look up. “It is?”
“Yeah. Here…” He wipes his mouth and turns to face me. “Kiss me.”
Kiss him? Kiss Fox Fitzpatrick?
Me?
“What?” I ask.
“Kiss me,” he says again. “Or I’ll kiss you. End result is more or less the same.”
Oh, god.
“Here?” I squeak. “Now?”
“Yes. Here. Now.”
“No!”
“You’d rather your first kiss be on set with some guy you hardly know in front of twenty crew members who just want you to get it over with so they can go to lunch?”
“Well…” I pause. “No. Not when you put it like that.”
“Then, come on.” He smiles. “Lay one on me.”
Oh, god. Oh, god.
“In public?” I ask, trying to stall the butterflies tearing my stomach apart.
“It’s Santa Monica,” he says. “No one cares.”
“But…” I fidget. “Aren’t you like…”
“Like…?”
“My brother?”
“No.” He scoffs. “No, I’m not. At all. I’m more like a really hot neighbor.”
I bite my burning cheek. “Okay, yeah, but…”
“What are you afraid of, Dani?” he asks.
“I’m not afraid.”
“It’s just a kiss. Actors do it to each other all the time. No big deal.”
“I know it’s no big deal.”
He raises a victorious brow. “Then, do it.”
Okay. He has a point.
But… kiss him?
Kiss Fox Fitzpatrick?
I blush. “You won’t make fun of me if I’m bad at it?”
“Of course not.” He shifts closer. “Relax your face, lean forward, and I’ll take it from there.”
My chest tightens. Of all the times I’ve pictured my first kiss, it wasn’t like this. It wasn’t surrounded by strangers. It sure as shit wasn’t with Fox Fitzpatrick.
Fox smiles. “You should put the corn dog down,” he says.
I twist around and set the paper tray down on the bench beside me. I take a breath of ocean air, hoping to feel calmer by the time I turn to face him again, but it’s not nearly that effective.
Just relax, lean, and take it. That sounds… easy enough, right?
My heart pounds in my ears as I lean forward like he told me. Fox licks his lips and smiles again, gently tilting his head as our noses glide past each other.
My cell phone rings in my pocket. I jut backward before our lips touch and scramble to find it.
“It’s my dad,” I read the display.
“Ignore him.” Fox pauses as his own cell screams from his jacket. “And that’s probably Mom…”
“Should I answer?” I ask, my panic rising.
“Let me,” he says, looking casual and not at all freaking out like I am as he flips his phone open and sticks it against his ear. “Hey, Mom,” he answers. “Yes, I am aware that I’ve missed two whole classes.” He looks at me, grinning at my fearful expression. “Yeah, she’s with me.”
I wince. What the hell was I thinking skipping school? God, I’m such an idiot. My dad is going to kill me.
“It’s okay, Mom,” Fox says, still smiling. “I’ll get her home safe. Yes, right now. As soon as possible.” He rolls his eyes at me. “Okay, bye.”
“Is she mad?” I ask after he hangs up.
“Not mad.” He smirks. “Just disappointed.”
I hang my head in my hands. “Well, my dad is definitely pissed.”
“He’ll live.”
I move to stand. “We should go home.”
Fox grabs my elbow and laughs. “Wait,” he says. “There’s no rush. You’re already in trouble. Ten more minutes ain’t gonna make it worse. Trust me.”
His eyes fall to my lips and my pulse spikes all over again. There’s still time to try that kiss but what if we were stopped for a reason? What if I make a huge fool of myself with the guy I’ve been crushing on since the day I met him?
What if? What if?
“No,” I say. “We should go.”
Fox nods, though I sense a little disappointment in his eyes. “All right,” he says,
releasing my arm. “Let’s get you home.”
“Roxie, go to your room.”
I cringe. Not because this is the first time my father has ever said those words to me in that tone. It’s because of the name. Like that’s what I’ve always been called.
“Daddy, I can explain—”
“Go,” he says again. His eyes become narrow slits of anger and annoyance, but he’s not looking at me.
He’s looking at Fox beside me.
I nod at my father and Cora and turn to walk up the stairs without saying a word.
“All right, look, Bennett,” Fox begins, sly and cool as always. “Don’t punish her. It was all my idea.”
I stop at the top of the stairs to listen.
“Of that, I have no doubt,” my father growls. “You want to tell me what the hell you were thinking?”
Fox chuckles and my chest skips. “Chill out. So, we missed a few classes. It wasn’t a big deal.”
“You think dragging my daughter out of school wasn’t a big deal?”
“You were dragging her out anyway, right? What difference does it make?”
“That is none of your business or concern, Fox.”
“She was freaking out. What was I supposed to do? She needed a break.”
“A break from school?”
“No, a break from you.”
“Excuse me?”
“A break from you,” Fox repeats. “Seriously, are you ever gonna let her make her own decisions? Or do you have the next thirty years of her life all planned out?”
“She’s my daughter!”
“She’s a person. Not a Barbie doll.”
I hold my breath. Never in my life have I ever thought to talk to my father like this and yet, here goes Fox, saying everything I didn’t even know I was thinking.
“Bennett,” Cora coos. “Let’s all just calm down—”
“No, Cora. I will not just calm down! You might let your kid do whatever the hell he wants, but I’m not going to let him corrupt my daughter!”
“Don’t yell at her like that,” Fox says, his voice harder than before.
“Last I checked,” my father says, “this is my house and I’ll yell at whoever I want to!”
I wince as the sound of him echoes up to me. If Fox keeps pushing him…
“I don’t care whose house this is, speak to my mother like that again and I’ll put you through the fucking window.”
My jaw drops. I wait for my father’s inevitable screaming. He’s ruined people’s careers for a whole lot less than that. I don’t want to picture what he’d do to a kid living under his own roof.
I realize I’m trembling. My heart races, sending goosebumps up and down my arms and legs. I’m worried about Fox, genuinely concerned for him in ways I never thought about before.
Why do I even care?
Come on, Dani. You know exactly why.
“Fox…”
I flinch. It’s just Cora. My father didn’t scream or shout at all. What the hell is happening down there?
“You go on upstairs, honey,” she says, calmly. “We’ll talk about this later.”
Fox doesn’t hesitate. I hear his feet against the marble floor, stomping quickly toward the stairs. I shuffle in a panic and turn toward the nearest door, taking one step inside before I realize I’m walking right into Fox’s bedroom. Not mine.
“Shit,” I say to myself.
I back out and bump into Fox’s wide shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I didn’t mean to…”
I pause on his expression in the dark. It’s cold and hard, a far cry from the devil may care jock who usually wanders the halls of Belle Academy.
“Fox?” I ask. “Are you okay?”
He shifts his stance and carefully walks around me into his room. “Yeah,” he mutters.
I follow him, staying several paces behind. “What happened?”
“You heard it just fine,” he says as he plops onto the edge of his disheveled, unmade bed.
“Okay, yeah. I did, but…”
“So, what do you want?”
I hesitate. What do I want?
Why haven’t I ever asked myself that before?
Isn’t it about time I started?
I take slow steps toward him, each step sending a flurry of heat through my cheeks. He tilts his head up to look at me as I approach, the hard lines of his face softening. Somehow, I manage to turn off the voices in my head, the ones that sound just like my father. Don’t do this. Don’t do that.
Seriously. Don’t do this.
But I bend down anyway. I touch Fox’s cheek. I purse my lips and close my eyes.
I kiss him on the mouth. It’s stiff and not at all relaxed but it still sends fire throughout my body.
I step back and turn my burning face away from him. “Thank you,” I say.
With fast feet, I move toward the door.
“Wait,” Fox says.
“No, I should—”
He catches up to me before I reach the hallway. I shudder with nerves as he takes hold of my arm with one hand and uses the other to close the door. He looks at me with those boyish, playful eyes and smiles.
“You’re never gonna convince them if you do it like that,” he says.
I blink with confusion as Fox leans in again. He kisses me back but not the simple, childish peck I gave him before. His lips cradle my own, soft yet firm and wild. I freeze in place, feeling my heart expand as his hands crawl around my back. He purses his lips, gently coaching mine to move along with his. I part my mouth, tasting the sweet warmth of his breath as his body quivers. His tongue playfully taps my bottom lip and I shudder with an eager greed I’ve never felt before.
I kiss him back. It doesn’t take long for me to learn how and when to move my mouth. When to breathe. How to be quiet.
It doesn’t take long for it to feel good.
Really good.
Fox breaks away. “There,” he whispers, his breath warm on my cheek. “Do it like that.”
My knees quake beneath me. “Okay…”
He turns and steps away, coming to a quick stop in front of his desk in the corner. I linger in place by the closed door, unable to deny to heat making its way through my system.
“Fox,” I say.
“What?” he asks, his head down.
I lick my tender lips and my tongue twitches. “I thought you hated me,” I whisper.
Fox looks at me beneath a heavy brow. “Yeah,” he says. “I did, too.”
Chapter 19
Fox
Now
“Pancakes, please.”
Dani’s eyes grow wide as she says it, displaying a powerful desire hidden behind her shades.
“Coming right up.” The waitress flashes a strategic, tip-bait smile and walks away to put our order in.
I take a long sip of coffee, relishing in the caffeine boost. “Pancakes, eh?”
Dani slides her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose so she can see me over them. “I might as well have them while I can, right?”
I lean back in the booth and sigh. “Bennett still has you on a tight leash, huh?”
Her eyes fall. She doesn’t answer.
“Dani, you have more than enough means to cut him off now. It’s not like either of you will be on the street if you do.”
“I just…” Her teeth scratch her bottom lip. “Never mind. It’s stupid.”
“We both know that’s not gonna fly,” I say. She breathes a laugh. “Tell me.”
Dani takes her time. Her elbows bend and move as she slides her palms along her thighs beneath the table. “I don’t know anything else,” she answers. “After you left, he was all I had, and he’s done a pretty good job at reminding me of that fact.”
Classic Bennett. What better way is there to keep a leash on her than to give her no other alternative than to follow?
“You’ll adapt,” I say. “The world isn’t as scary as you think it is.”
“Says the con
tract killer.”
“You know what I mean.”
“That’s the thing, though, isn’t it? I really don’t.” She pushes her sagging sunglasses back up her nose. “I was born in LA. If I ever make it back, I’ll probably die there, too.”
“There are worse ways to die. Trust me.”
“You’re right.” She nods softly as she runs a fingertip along the edge of her coffee mug. “I just wish my life didn’t feel so manufactured. And it’s not like I can complain about it. If I even try to express an ounce of negativity, people just brush me off. What the hell does she have to complain about? Look at her.” She lets out a hard exhale. “They forget there’s an actual person beneath that spotlight.”
“You have a good life, Dani,” I whisper, grasping for ways to comfort her.
She tilts her head. “Is it really a life when someone else makes all your decisions for you? Honestly, the choice between pancakes or waffles was the biggest decision I’ve made since… ever. I almost asked for your opinion.”
“I would have gone with waffles.”
She smiles and little dimples cave on her chin. “Well, shit…”
“Forget about all that stuff.” I smile back without thinking. “We’re in the middle of nowhere. You don’t have to be anyone but Dani out here. Especially not with me.”
She scoffs. “Don’t pretend like you don’t see Roxie Roberts staring back every time you look over here.”
“You’ve never been Roxie to me. You know that.”
I bite my tongue, feeling like I’ve gone too far. Her eyes flick up at me over the tops of her shades and her cheeks turn red.
Definitely too far.
“You know, Fox,” she pauses, takes a breath, “we never got a chance to talk about that night…”
That night?
There’s only one night she could be referring to. We’ve mostly ignored it until now, but I can’t say I haven’t felt it every time I look at her.
She swallows hard. “Fox, I—”
“All right!”
I lurch slightly as the waitress appears at the booth. “One bacon cheeseburger with fries and some pancakes.” She lays the plates down in front of us, along with a container of maple syrup for Dani. “Is there anything else I can get you two?”
Secret Love Page 9