She batted her long lashes. “Looks like you need to visit the Buddhist Temple.” Her voice teased.
Emily’s eyes widened.
I gasped. Sean had told Candy about the steroids and the temple. No wait, maybe Candy had told Sean about them.
Andy Wintrep growled, “What are you talking about?”
Candy flashed him a flirty smile. “I like my men strong.”
Ralph Jones, the nose guard, reached out an arm the size of a girl’s thigh and pulled a chair up to the table. “Here, Candy.”
She dropped down into the seat and giggled. “You guys are such ann-i-mals.”
The athletes laughed.
Brad put his arm around the back of Candy’s chair. “What you doin’ this afternoon?”
Candy leaned toward Brad. “I’m goin’ shoppin’ and buying something sexy to wear.”
Brad’s gaze traveled from Candy’s head to her toes. “It’ll be hard to beat that black shirt.”
Candy snickered, glanced at her oversized gold watch, and eased up from her chair. “Thanks. I need ta’ run. Catch you later.”
Andy gestured toward Candy with a half-hearted wave.
Maurice Hebner, a senior offensive guard and one of Sean’s friends, pulled his dark brown brows together. “Where’s the Buddhist Temple?”
Brad shook his head while smiling. “I don’t know, but it’s a blast watching Candy go on about any subject. She’s…uh…very animated.”
They all laughed. Apparently, they paid more attention to how Candy looked than to what she said. Come to think of it, once Sean said Candy would repeat anything she heard whether she knew what she was talking about or not.
Brad propped his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his fist. “What did she see in Sean?”
Maurice sat straight up. “Sean’s a nice guy.”
Ray returned with the chicken specials.
Jimmy moved his elbows off the table. “Thanks man, it looks good.”
“You’re welcome.” The aroma of hot, fried potatoes wafted across the table as Ray set down the plates.
“Candy must know something about those steroids.” I spoke softly so no one but Emily and Jimmy could hear me. “She’s been nothing but trouble. One time, Sean took her to a performance on the square in downtown Mistville. He asked me to tell Dad they were going.
“When I did, Dad blew up. He packed me in the car, and off we went to the concert.”
I knew when I heard the electric music blaring down the street, Dad’s words would soon pound louder than the drumbeat. Hundreds of kids in jeans and T-shirts crowded around the stage and bobbed their heads up and down keeping rhythm.
“People near Candy threw a beach ball back and forth. She wore a red spaghetti strap top, which made her stand out in the crowd. Sean stood right beside her.”
I knew the instant Dad spotted Sean. He pressed his lips so tight he drew his mouth into a straight line then he stomped over to Sean.
“Dad shook Sean and screamed, ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Sean was terrified.”
Emily speared her salad. “Your dad was mad even though Sean was just checking out the scene?”
“Yeah, and to make it worse, in this flippant tone as though she hadn’t heard Dad or seen him shake Sean, Candy said, ‘Oh, cool, hi Mr. McWhorter.’
“Dad’s face turned tomato red. ‘Sean’s going home. He’ll take you by your house.’
“Candy waved her hand in the air. ‘In a sec, I think they’re going to throw a body. If the band plays really, really awful, the crowd gets restless. I love it when they pitch each other around.’
“Dad glared at Sean. Sean tapped Candy on the shoulder. ‘I think we need to go—now.’ Sean sounded so irritated.” I shook my head. “He hardly ever says a harsh word to anyone.”
My heart sank just talking about the incident. No longer paying attention to the people milling around and jabbering in The Grill, I focused on a bite of chicken on Jimmy’s plate. He speared it with his fork and put it in his mouth. The motion jarred my frozen mind loose from the heavy metal music stuck in it.
Emily cocked an eyebrow. “Candy’s not the best person to talk to anybody’s parents.”
“Sounds like a bad scene.” Jimmy wiped his hands with his napkin. “At least Sean had you at the concert for support.”
Apparently, Jimmy not only had listened to what I’d said, but he’d put himself in Sean’s shoes. I wished I could be there for Sean now.
Jimmy glanced at his watch then stood. “I need to go.”
Emily gazed at him. “Say Jimmy, do you want to go with us to the Buddhist Temple?”
He dropped back down as though someone had let go of a string attached to him.
I wouldn’t have invited Jimmy to come, because I wouldn’t have wanted to appear forward, but I was glad Emily did. My hands grew sweaty while I waited for his answer.
His blue eyes widened. “Why?” He sounded so shocked.
My heart beat fast. Should I explain? I had to. “Jimmy, if I tell you will you keep it to yourself?”
“Of course.” The corners of his eyes softened as he moved closer to me.
“Sean had a stroke because he took a steroid. We suspect he bought it at the temple.” I whispered so low I hardly heard my own words.
Jimmy’s mouth gaped. “I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “Everyone on the student council looks up to him. He’s cool. Why would he do that?”
Having to snitch on Sean brought tears to my eyes. I couldn’t spill my guts about his problem with Dad too. “Honestly, Jimmy, I’m not sure. Maybe he was afraid he wouldn’t see his friends on the team after Harold Gravitts took over as starting quarterback.” I nodded toward the football players. “He spent all his extra time with those jocks. His whole life revolved around football.”
“They all like Sean.” Jimmy thumped his fingers on the table. “I guess playing back-up could’ve made him feel like an outsider with the first-string players. But drugs?” He put his arm around my shoulder. “Sure, I’ll go. It sounds adventurous. I have meetings after school on Monday and Tuesday for student council. What’s your plan? How about Wednesday?”
My heart flip-flopped from sadness and ire over Sean’s state to joy at having Jimmy beside me. Trying to understand why Sean took a steroid haunted me day and night like a ghost inside my head that wouldn’t shut up howling. Then Jimmy gave me attention, and I was all flowers and sunshine.
How ironic that Sean’s illness brought Jimmy and me together. Maybe we would have gotten to know each other better anyway. I’d never know for sure, but Sean would be glad for me. The need to find the people who hurt him burned in my stomach like a raging fire. “Wednesday sounds good. Can we go after my swim practice?”
Emily put her palms on the table. “That works for me. I have to go to French Club Wednesday after classes.”
“Let’s meet in front of the gym at four-thirty.” Jimmy stood. “I’ll see you then.”
He left, and Emily leaned across the table. “Sometimes I wonder if Candy’s as out-of-it as she acts. I can’t see Sean dating her.”
“If I didn’t know Sean, I’d think he did it to aggravate Dad. But Sean’s not spiteful. He tries to please people.” Tears forced their way to my eyes and caused me to blink. “You know what? He probably did it because Candy hangs out with the football players. You can see how they all flip out over her.”
Emily peered at me with sad dark eyes. “Sean deserved better.”
“I know. I wish I’d talked to him about her and steroids.”
“You can’t blame yourself for what happened.”
How could I not blame myself? He received no help from me when he needed it most.
Joe Garrett walked past us then meandered through the students toward the doorway.
“Do you think he heard us make plans?” Emily tilted her head toward Joe.
“No, we weren’t talking loud. There’s so much noise in here I doubt he could hear anything.
”
A glint danced in Emily’s eyes. “You’re probably sorry Jimmy left. In case you haven’t noticed, he’s totally into you.”
I couldn’t have stopped my grin if I’d wanted to. “You think so?”
“Oh, yeah.” Emily nodded. “I’m glad he’s going with us Wednesday.”
“So am I. Thanks for asking him.”
“You’re welcome.” Emily shifted her gaze to my plate. “You have to keep up your strength. We’re not leaving until you eat.”
Seeing Candy, the talk about the temple, and the shame of telling Jimmy about Sean had squashed my appetite. “Emily, I can’t. My stomach’s churning.”
Emily’s dark eyes turned stern. “You have to.”
I rubbed my stomach.
“Think of something soothing and eat.”
My thoughts turned to the warmth I’d seen in Jimmy’s eyes the day he told me he was keeping Sean in his prayers. The first nibble of my French fry tasted better than I thought it would. Now, the chicken sandwich. Yum.
Emily grinned. “After you eat it all, I’ll take you home.”
Since Sean had been in the hospital, Emily looked after me. I guess she realized there was no one else to do it. “You sound like my mom, but for a ride, I’ll do it. I’m too tired to wait on the bus.”
Emily laughed. “I’m more like a big sister.”
I cleaned my plate. “There.”
Emily and I walked out of The Grill to her car. The conversation Candy had with the football players replayed in my mind and fueled my wrath toward the drug dealers. Seemed like Candy thought steroids were a big joke. Did she really know something about the temple?
Emily turned on the radio and kept her eyes on the road. “I love this song.”
It was a soft love tune. Tears pooled in my eyes. With all of the hurt and anger in my heart there wasn’t room in my life for such songs. “It’s pretty.”
She pulled up in my drive. “Here ya’ go.”
Grateful for the lift home, I scooted out. “Thanks so much, Emily.”
I kicked at a clump of leaves as I walked toward the house. Soon winter would bring weather as cold as the ice in my heart. My athletic bag seemed to weigh a ton with the wet towels in it. I dropped it on the stoop. A cool breeze whipped around the corner as I fished in my purse for my key.
The door slammed behind me blocking out the wind, but nothing could get rid of the loneliness in the air. Mom and Dad were at the hospital. If I had any courage at all that’s where I’d be, but I wanted to walk in room 101 and find Sean sitting up talking. That wouldn’t happen. The sorrow of it overwhelmed the anger that kept me going, and I exploded with sad sobs. I went upstairs, lay in the bed, and cried myself to asleep.
~*~
Voices wafted into my room as I woke up thinking of Sean. I rolled over and put the pillow over my head. It’d been too long since I’d gone to see him. How late had Mom and Dad stayed last night hoping he’d say something? How could they go on like this? How could I?
Mom and Dad’s conversation grew clearer as I rubbed my eyes and sat up in bed. “Bullet, you can do whatever you want, but I’m going to church.”
I threw back the covers and sprang out of bed. Mom couldn’t leave without me. I hurried to the closet and grabbed my black sheath skirt. The green blouse that Mom said matched my eyes worked fine. Buttoning it, I darted downstairs.
Dad looked at Mom. “I thought about what you said. We do need to go to church for Sean and ourselves.” He looked handsome in his gray pinstriped suit.
I couldn’t wrap my heart around the hope that comes from church too soon.
Dad turned, put his arm around my shoulders, and pulled me close. Joy rippled over my skin as we walked out as a family and slid into Dad’s car.
We wound down the mountain past the unopened shops on Main Street, drove up a steep hill, and parked at the white, wood-frame church. The high steeple cutting through the morning fog lifted my spirits toward the Heavens where it pointed. We piled out and followed the rock walkway to the door.
As I’d done in the past when we used to come to church, I searched for a space big enough for four people. I gasped and put my hand to my mouth. Habit. Even in my excitement over coming to worship service, how could I forget? Sean wasn’t with us.
Mom found a spot then Dad smiled and motioned for me to sit between them.
The choir members walked down the aisle singing. The music resounding to the rooftop motivated me to join the glory, but the song caught in my throat.
Reverend Hopewell prayed, thanking God for our many blessings, our church, and the beautiful day. He asked God to be with those who were sick, grieving, and lonely. Then while we sat with our heads bowed he said, “We’ll have a moment of silence for you to pray for the special people in your lives.”
The opportunity took me by surprise, but the words poured forth, even though I only said them in my mind.
Dear Lord, please make Sean well. Please heal him and bring him back to us. In Christ’s name, I ask.
“Amen.” Reverend Hopewell ended the prayer.
Then he read a Scripture lesson, but I couldn’t concentrate for thinking about Sean. Would God hear my prayer and answer it? Was it His will for Sean to get well?
The ushers passed the offering plate, and the congregation stood, singing the Doxology. We finished with “Amen” and took our seats.
Candy sat three rows in front of me. Did she know who sold Sean those drugs, or had she been talking about the Buddhist temple because she thought it was the popular thing to do?
Joe Garrett probably was the only person who had any answers, and he wouldn’t share them with me unless I gave him a reason. What good had it done to come to church with my mind wandering? I glanced at my watch. The sermon must be nearly over.
Reverend Hopewell said, “You may be the only Bible some people see.” What a strange statement.
“Of course, you aren’t books, but if you live your lives according to the Scriptures, you could give those who never read a Bible or go to church a glimpse of Christians doing what they profess.”
Right now, I wanted Reverend Hopewell to tell me how to get through the rest of today, tomorrow, and the next day.
The minister motioned for the congregation to stand. “Please turn in your hymn books to page one-hundred-three.”
The congregation sang then Reverend Hopewell gave us a blessing.
The hopefulness of church fell over me, but questions about Sean drove the peace from my mind. Why didn’t I believe he’d get well? Why was I still so angry with the drug dealers? Why did I still resent Dad for pushing Sean?
The morning fog lifted as members shook our hands or hugged Mom, Dad and me or patted us on the back. The sun shone on the stained glass window beside us, creating multi-colored rays on the people’s shirts and dresses.
“Please know I’m praying for Sean.”
“I’m keeping Sean and all of you in my prayers.”
“God will pull Sean out of this.”
Eventually, one by one, they wandered off. But they left a flicker of light shining through the darkness of turmoil and angst that had become my life. I walked outside to the rock stoop with a lighter step and shook the minister’s hand.
We hopped in the car.
Dad smiled. “Let’s stop at the Mistville Diner and get a sandwich.”
“Sunday lunch together.” Mom spoke under her breath. Then, in an enthusiastic tone she said, “That sounds good.”
Within no time it seemed we parked at the restaurant. Dad opened the glass door, and happiness zipped through me.
The small room with tan booths on one side and tables on the other buzzed with an after-church crowd of men in suits and women in skirts and dresses or pants with fancy blouses.
Mom took a seat across from the open grill and Dad and I followed.
A waitress came over. “What’ll it be?”
Mom smiled then ordered a grilled cheese on rye.
“I’ll have one too.” Mom and I had the same taste.
The waitress wrote on her pad as Dad asked for a tuna on white. His eyes looked glassy. “I can’t believe all those people are praying for Sean.”
Mom sat straighter. “God will hear all of the prayers. Sean will be fine.”
Dad took in a deep breath and let it out with a sigh as the waitress served our lunch.
Mom took a bite of her sandwich, held it up, and gazed at it with puzzled eyes. “This is the best meal I’ve had in a while.”
It was only a neighborhood sandwich shop, but we’d walked in with the warmth of caring Christians engulfing us.
I smiled and sipped my tea.
Dad peered out the window. “Look at the pretty gold leaves on that tree. I haven’t paid attention to them this fall.”
“Yes, it’s that time of year.” Mom laid down her napkin.
Gathering up Mom’s and my trash, Dad put it in the garbage can. Then we left. Mom and Dad dropped me by the house then went to the hospital.
Until this moment I never thought I’d welcome staying home to study for a math test, but I couldn’t stand looking at Sean lying in that bed. The key clicked in the door as I opened it.
My books lay spread out on the dining room table where I’d left them. The math questions might as well have been written in a foreign language for all I understood about them. I twisted a lock of my hair while I stared at the page and tried to concentrate. The conversation I’d overheard in The Grill between Candy and the football players rattled around in my head. Anxiety over what happened to Sean seeped from my pores as I tried to make sense of math. Forget studying.
I fished my cell out of my purse and punched in Emily’s number. “Hi, this is Margaret. I can’t concentrate on studying for the math test. My mind won’t think of anything other than the steroid Sean took until I find out how and why he possessed it. One minute I believe there’s a connection to football. The next I suppose it’s to soccer. I wonder how much Candy knows. Do you have any ideas?”
“I don’t have a clue. Finding the temple is a good start. When we see it, we’ll know more.”
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