by Ali Parker
She smiled. “I care about you as well, which is why I’m a little nervous about letting you back into my life. I can’t handle you hurting me like that again.”
I felt guilty and sad at the same time. “I know, and I can tell you that I’ve changed, but I wanted to show you as well. It’s why we went out tonight. I want to start over. I want us to get to know each other again. I want it to be right this time around.”
“Grayson, I want to believe you. You cannot imagine how much I want to believe you, but I can’t trust you. And honestly, can you trust me?” she asked.
“I know what happened in the past and I know I never trusted you, which gave you no reason to trust me. I am truly sorry for that. I want things to be different. I’m really trying to be different. I want to change who I am and be the man you thought I was. I mean, if I was able to give you a little glimpse of that man, I should be able to be him again, right?” I asked hopefully.
She shrugged a shoulder. “That’s what scares me. You can change who you are. You can pretend to be someone you’re not so easily. For me, that makes me worried. I don’t know the real Grayson Bancroft.”
“I think you do, and you know you do. You are one of the few people who did see the real me.”
She took a deep breath. “You’ve proven to me time and again, and even told me you don’t trust me. I can’t be with someone who is constantly suspecting I’m doing something wrong. I’m not a manipulative person, but I don’t think you know that.”
“I’ve explained that, or at least I’ve tried. My issues were with Jack. We’ve worked through them and now I’m ready to work through it with you.”
She scoffed. “You can suddenly trust me now that I’m pregnant?” she asked, a skeptical look on her face.
Something, somewhere in the back of my mind clicked. I felt ice run through my veins as I stared at her. She never said she wanted to get back together. She’d made it a point to keep away from me, not touching or letting me get too close.
“Is the baby mine?” I asked.
Her jaw dropped, and her eyes went wide. “What?”
I shrugged a shoulder. “You said you were pregnant, but you never said it was mine. Is it mine?”
She was looking at me in a way that made me a little worried for my health. “You seriously just asked me if this baby was yours?” she hissed.
“It’s a fair question, Hannah. How come you can’t say if you know for sure the baby is mine?” I shot back.
She shook her head, pulling her legs from where they had been resting on my lap, and gave me a good hard kick, toppling me over on the couch.
“Get out!”
“Hey, wait a minute. You don’t have to get mad.”
“Get out!” she yelled again, planting her foot on my butt and shoving hard, nearly sending me to my knees.
I quickly stood and looked down at her. “Hannah—”
She threw the blanket off the couch and shot up with more energy than I had seen in her all night. “Go!” she ordered, pointing to the door.
I walked into the dining area and grabbed my jacket, phone and wallet. “You’re overreacting,” I told her.
Her eyes were shooting fire as she stared at me, her finger still pointing to the front door. I had no idea why she was being so testy. We hadn’t been together in almost two months. She was a gorgeous woman. She would have been on the rebound and there was not a man in this world who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to be her revenge sex partner.
I stopped at the door and turned to look back at her. I opened my mouth to say something, but she shook her head. “Don’t even think about saying a word. Get out of my house,” she said in a dangerously low voice.
I pulled open the door. “I’ll call you tomorrow and see how you’re doing.”
“Don’t you dare!”
I stepped into the hallway, intent on telling her to relax and we could talk about the situation like rational adults, but I didn’t get the chance. She slammed the door so hard I was worried it would come off the hinges. I heard the deadbolt slide home, followed by a second one farther down the door.
I raised my eyebrows. “Well shit, that didn’t go well.”
I couldn’t understand why she would be the one who was upset. We were still legally married and there was a good chance she was carrying another man’s child. How could she be the one who was pissed? If anyone should have been pissed it was me. I was only asking a question I deserved to know the answer to. If she was pregnant with my child, there was a lot we had to talk about. I wasn’t going to open that can of worms unless she knew for certain it was my baby.
I took a deep breath of the cool, night air as I walked to the parking garage. My life was going to get messy—messier than it had been since the day she walked into my life.
Chapter 62
Hannah
I wanted to hate him, I really did, but that stupid, foolish heart of mine refused to do so. I was considering a heart transplant. Wouldn’t that erase him from my soul? I dragged my ass to the kitchen after spending my first thirty minutes of being awake on the bathroom floor once again. It was really getting old. I didn’t think it was fair that I could end my day hugging the toilet and start the day the same way.
“Listen, kid, you only get one time during the day. You don’t get to make me sick all day. It isn’t nice. You need food if you want to come out big, healthy, and strong. Well, scratch the big. You can get big once you’ve exited my body. Until then, play nice. Let Mommy eat and keep the food in her belly. Got it?” I scolded the tiny fetus tucked deep inside my body.
I was losing my mind. I had been spending so much time alone in my apartment, I had taken up talking to my unborn child. I scolded him or her, explained what was on television, and about my day in general. When I was online shopping for nursery items, I tried to ask the little guy or gal about color and theme preferences. I never got a response.
I heard the knock on the door and went to answer. “Hi,” I said in greeting when I opened the door for Amber.
She had called a bit ago, announcing she was bringing dinner. She suggested we go out, but I wasn’t ready to try that again, not after last night ended so horribly.
“You’re looking much better,” she said as she strolled past me with a paper bag full of delicious aromas.
“Thank you. What did you bring?” I asked, following her toward the kitchen. My stomach was actually growling with hunger. That had to be a good sign.
“Italian.”
“I hope baby likes it. I could eat the bag it smells so good,” I said, reaching for a couple plates.
She laughed. “Maybe you need more fiber in your diet.”
“I need food in my diet. I need to not puke everything I eat,” I grumbled.
“Well, I hope this stays down. You’re going to eat and then you’re going to tell me what happened last night. Your message was vague, but I got the idea things didn’t go well.”
I shook my head. “Do they ever where he is concerned?”
“I’m sorry. Tell me what happened,” she said as we carried our plates to the table to enjoy our meal.
I quickly gave her the recap of the nice dinner we were having until the part where I told him about the baby and he had the audacity to ask if he was the father.
“Ouch, that is not the way you want the baby daddy to respond,” she said with a grimace on her face.
I shook my head. “Definitely not the response I was expecting. It just goes to show he hasn’t changed. He was making this big fuss about being more open and honest and trusting me. He doesn’t, and I don’t know that he ever will.”
“I’m sorry. Maybe he needs some time to process this. You’ve had weeks. You weren’t exactly singing from the rooftops when you found out.”
I glowered at her. “No, I wasn’t, but seriously? He asked if the baby was his. Like I’m some big ho who runs around sleeping with random men. He knows me better than that.”
“You know he is inc
apable of believing anything about you. The guy is damaged. He’s got a lot of baggage. I don’t think he knows how to trust you,” she pointed out.
I nodded. “You’ve got that right. He can’t trust anyone but himself. I’ve never given him a reason not to trust me,” I argued.
“There doesn’t have to be a reason. It’s irrational and he knows it. I think he wants to trust you. I mean, you did say he admitted he was wrong. That’s the first step.”
I sighed. “Yes, it was, but then he switched right back to the old Grayson as soon as he got scared.”
“You’re right it wasn’t cool, and it was not the right response, but he’s a guy,” she said with a shoulder shrug.
“Bad excuse.”
She laughed. “It is, but I’m guessing he was overwhelmed with your little announcement.”
“I don’t know how else I could have told him. I couldn’t have softened the blow any easier,” I shot back.
“I know. You did nothing wrong. It was all him. I’m on your side. I have a feeling he is going to realize what he said was stupid and try to come around again. Are you going to let him apologize?” she asked softly.
I shook my head. “No way. I can’t. He always does that.”
“Okay, but don’t think you have to stick to your guns. You can hear him out and let him try to do right by you.”
“Nope. He can’t. He’s only going to hurt me again and again.”
She looked at me, and I could see she wanted to say something but was holding back. “Relationships aren’t supposed to be easy. I mean, that’s what I’ve heard. I have no real experience.”
“I don’t mind a little effort, but I can’t be the only one putting in the effort.”
“That’s true. I’m sorry. I liked you two together. I liked how happy you were when you two were getting along so well. You lit up when you saw him or when you talked about him. I’m sorry you lost that happiness and joy in your life.”
“Thank you. I think that’s the worst part. It was so good when we were together, but now I know it was all a lie. He only acted like that to get me to marry him.”
“Maybe not all an act. I think he cares for you. I don’t think he knows how to show it or deal with it, but deep down, he does care for you. You have to know that,” she said firmly.
I let out a long sigh. “I do know that, but it isn’t enough. I hate that I let myself get my hopes up again. I should have known he hadn’t changed. Why can’t I ever tell that man no?” I whined.
“Oh, I think we both know why.”
I groaned and shook my head. I couldn’t tell him no because I loved him and wanted to be with him. I knew that, but I also knew I deserved better. I deserved a man who could trust me.
“I’m a little sad I’m going to be doing this on my own. When I talked to him a couple days ago, I let myself dream of a future together, with us raising our child together. Now I know that isn’t going to happen. It hurts,” I whispered.
“You’re not alone,” Amber said, reaching across the table and putting a hand over mine.
I smiled at her. “Thank you. I really appreciate that. I wish I was one of those strong women who could go through this without any help, but I don’t think I am.”
She laughed. “You most definitely are, but that doesn’t matter, because I am right here with you. You are not going to be alone. I will be your baby daddy,” she said with a wink.
I giggled at the absurdity of it. “Great. Does that mean you’re going to be there during the birth?”
“Damn straight I am. I’m going to be the first person that little nugget sees, beyond the doctor that is.”
“Thank you. Seriously, thank you so much. You’ve already done so much for me and have made this whole thing a lot easier.”
She nodded and stuffed a big bite of lasagna into her face. I gobbled up my own lasagna, hoping like hell it all stayed down. I did not want to see that again. It wasn’t pretty going in and I didn’t want to see it coming out. I had been picking my meals based on what I thought it would look like on its return. My life had certainly changed a great deal from the fairy tale I had been living a couple months ago.
“What do we want?” she mumbled around a mouth full of food.
“What do you mean?” I asked her.
“Do we want a boy or a girl?”
I laughed. “I want a healthy baby. Grayson was always convinced he would have a son since his dad only produced sons. I would love to have a baby girl, not just to piss him off, but because I think it would be so fun to dress her up in the most gorgeous little dresses.”
“All right, we want a girl,” she said nodding.
I laughed again. “I don’t know that it works like that. I think it has already been decided and as much as I hate to give the man any more power, he had already made that choice.”
She shrugged a shoulder. “That’s fine. We’ll let him have that little part in the whole thing. You know, this baby is going to be gorgeous. Don’t be mad, but Grayson is hot. You’re beautiful. This baby hit the gene lottery jackpot.”
I put a hand to my belly. “Healthy. That’s all I care about at this point.”
She nodded. “Of course.”
“I can’t wait to start shopping. I’ve been browsing different baby stores online and I’m so excited.”
She shook her head, holding up her fork. “No, we need to go in to a few real stores. You need to see the colors in person. You know how colors get jacked up on the monitor.”
I nodded. “You’re right. We’ll look in the stores and then I’ll know what I want and can buy online.”
She burst into laughter. “You’re becoming an online-shopping addict!”
“Becoming?” I scoffed. “Girl, I crossed that bridge weeks ago!”
We both laughed as we finished our dinners. It felt good to laugh again. I was so grateful to have her in my life. For two days, I had let myself think about Grayson being there with me, making the decisions, and seeing that ultrasound for the first time. I was a fool to think he would be that kind of a father or husband.
“You okay?” she asked softly.
I wiped the tears that were suddenly running down my face. “Damn hormones.”
She nodded. “I’m sorry. What triggered this round of sadness?”
“I need to divorce him,” I whispered.
“Don’t rush anything,” she lectured.
I shrugged a shoulder. “It’s over. I know that. It will be easier to get through this if I don’t have that looming over my head. I just need to end it once and for all.”
She gave me a sympathetic look. “I understand. I can take care of the arrangements for you.”
“No, this is something I have to do.”
“Okay, well, I’ll be there for you. You are not alone. You know that, right?”
“I do. Thank you.”
I pushed away the sadness. I had a feeling by the end of the pregnancy I would be all cried out. I found myself on a roller-coaster ride of emotions. I could go from happy to sad in two seconds. I could be watching a stupid commercial about cars and bawl my eyes out. There was no way I could deal with Grayson, at least not for another six months. I needed to have my emotions in check and with the pregnancy hormones coursing through my body, I couldn’t do that.
After dinner, we watched a little TV before she left. I went to bed alone once again, but instead of feeling completely alone, I had some small comfort with the knowledge I had Amber. I had Amber and soon I would have my child. I wasn’t completely alone.
Chapter 63
Grayson
The white lace she wore was the hottest thing I had ever seen. I saw her hard nipples under the lace stretched tight across her chest, made tighter by the arching of her back. Her mouth was slightly opened, her eyes closed as my hands roamed over her bare hips exposed by the high-cut bit of lace she was wearing. I knew it would be hot when she told me about it at the reception. I could barely think of anything else and now it
was right in front of me.
I heard her moan and reached my fingers to her lips, gently pulling her mouth open. She greedily sucked one finger into her mouth, her lips locking tightly around my finger as she moaned again, her eyes staring into mine.
“Grayson,” she whispered my name as I pulled my finger out, moving my hand to her breast, cupping it through the fabric.
The lace was hot, but I wanted her naked. I wanted to feel her hot, smooth skin. I wanted to taste it, suck on her as my body joined with hers. I could feel my erection, ready to explode in my pants. With deft hands, I freed myself, rubbing my cock over her lace-covered pussy, pulling a moan from her throat. I could feel how wet she was. The heat emanating from her core was making my heart pound in my chest. I could smell her arousal. It was making me desperate and horny.
“How?” I asked, my hands roaming over the lace. She knew what I was asking. I needed to get the fucking lace off her. I needed to touch her.
She smiled, as if it was a game. “Figure it out,” she teased.
I shook my head. I was going to make her pay for her teasing. I teased. She submitted. That was how our game worked. She knew better. I moved away from her, standing next to the bed as she lay there, panting, her body arching and her arms moving to the side in open invitation. Her body moved as if I were already inside her, fucking her. She moaned, her head rolling from side to side as she arched her back, her legs squeezing tightly closed.
I didn’t need an invitation. Her body was mine to do as I pleased. I wanted to fuck her so badly, but that damn lace was like a brick fucking wall. I could tear it, I thought to myself. I reached out, my hand brushing over her covered pussy. I yanked hard on the lace, but it wouldn’t give. She gasped, the sound familiar to my ears. She was ready to come. I could see by her heavy-lidded eyes that she was close to an orgasm and I hadn’t even touched her.
“Hannah.” I growled.
Her response was to smile and spread her legs wide, showing me what I couldn’t have. The lace was a thin veil over her opened core. I slipped two fingers under the lacy fabric, wanting in so badly I felt like a feral beast, pawing and clawing at the lace, fighting with it. I yanked again, her butt lifting off the bed with my force, but the lace wouldn’t give.