by Ali Parker
Hannah
My time at the lab was going great. I was having way too much fun playing in the lab as I referred to it. I had come up with the perfect red lipstick, but I couldn’t very well start a company with a single lipstick. I needed to have nail polish to match along with other shades. I loved the color mixing. I arrived home from the lab a couple hours earlier, grabbed a snack, and got right to work.
I was putting together a business plan and jotting down ideas for a company name as well as clever names for the lipstick shades. Names mattered. A buyer needed to remember what it was they were spending their money on. Brand names were not something a person came up with overnight. I had spent hours upon hours doing word play, trying to name my company.
When I heard the door buzz, I got up from my chair in the office, expecting another delivery from one of the many stores I had shopped at. The concierge had made it a habit to wait until late afternoon until all the deliveries had been made before bringing them upstairs. It saved everyone a lot of time. When I pulled open the door, it was a delivery man holding a dress box, which was odd. For one, it was usually the concierge or one of his staff who made the deliveries, and for two, I knew damn well I hadn’t bought a dress.
“I think you have the wrong apartment,” I said, then smiled.
“Hannah Bancroft,” he said reading from a card.
“Hannah Adams,” I stressed, knowing already the box was for me and I knew who sent the damn thing.
I took it, thanked the man, and shut the door. I set the box on the dining table and stared at it. I was almost afraid to open it. I would have to kill him if he sent me something slinky and sexy. I was pregnant, and it wouldn’t fit. If he bought me some pregnancy dress that was too big, I would kill him. I looked at the box and shook my head. The man didn’t have a chance.
I pulled the ribbon, drew in a deep breath, and removed the lid from the box. I set it down, my eyes on the white dress neatly folded and set upon tissue paper.
“Wow,” I whispered, staring at the dress in the box.
I was almost afraid to touch it. It was gorgeous. I carefully lifted it out of the box, fighting back tears. It was very bohemian, very earthy. I loved it. It was something I would have personally bought myself. It wasn’t formfitting, and it wasn’t a tent. It was absolutely beautiful.
I picked up the note that had been on the dress.
Either we take another shot or walk away for good. I know what I want. A driver will be at your house at seven to either bring you to me or bring me the papers. It’s up to you.
I looked in the box and saw a pile of papers. I picked them up and immediately knew what they were. They were divorce papers. My stomach twisted in knots as I saw my name neatly typed in the box. With the dress draped over my arm, I quickly thumbed through the first few pages and noticed Grayson had already signed them.
My eyes went back to the card that stated he knew what he wanted. If that was the case, why would he sign the papers? My heart twisted at the thought of severing our relationship without another word to each other. I looked at the dress on my arm, the note, then the papers.
I could feel myself being torn between what I should do and what I wanted to do. The man had done nothing but hurt me. There had been some good times, but I wasn’t naive enough to believe those happy memories were real. He had let me think they were, but I knew now it had been part of his plan.
No matter how much I tried to ignore the feelings, they were there. I knew I loved him. I wanted to be loved. I wanted him to love our child. He was trying. Didn’t I owe it to him and myself to give him the benefit of the doubt—one more time.
“Damn it, Grayson, why do you keep doing this to me?” I muttered.
I couldn’t walk away from him. I would never forgive myself if I missed the chance to be truly happy with him. I owed it to our child as well.
“One shot, mister—one shot,” I talked to my empty room.
I inhaled a deep breath and carried the dress into my room. If we were going to make an important decision about the rest of our lives, I was going to look damn good doing it. I wanted to show him what he would lose if I walked away. I was feeling a little self-conscious with my belly pooch. The dress would conceal it.
I jumped in the shower, wanting to be fresh as a daisy, just in case things went really well and we ended up at his place. I moisturized tip to toe before starting on my makeup. I loved dressing up. I didn’t get to do it often. This was likely my last date for a very long time. I wanted to make sure I enjoyed the experience of getting dolled up to impress a man.
Soon enough, I imagined my hair would be in a permanent bun, no makeup, yoga pants, and spit-up on whatever top I could find. It wasn’t going to be glamorous and that was okay. I had accepted what my life was going to be. In a way, I was looking forward to it.
I still had plenty of time before the car would arrive. I figured I better let Amber know in case I went off the grid for a couple days.
“Hey,” I said when Amber picked up her phone.
“What’s up?” she asked, and I could tell she was walking.
I took a deep breath and figured I better just get it all out. “I’m going out with Grayson,” I blurted out.
I heard her sigh. “Dinner?”
“Um, actually, I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
I quickly told her about the note and the dress. Of course, her first response was I send her a picture of the dress and then the next was why. Why was I going to meet him?
“I have to give him a chance. If he proves to me he hasn’t changed, I’ll walk away. I won’t look back,” I promised.
She let out a long sigh. “And what if he does convince you he’s changed and then six months down the road he reverts to his old ways?”
I chuckled. “Amber, that could happen to anyone. I can’t predict the future.”
“I know you can’t, but he tends to run hot and cold.”
“You’re right. I can’t move on if I don’t give him a chance to prove he truly has changed. I would always be looking back, wondering about what if I had gotten in the car that one night. I can’t leave something unfinished. This feels unfinished. I don’t believe our story is done,” I explained.
“I know. You’re struggling to move on. I hope this either leads you to your happily ever after or you can find some closure. I’m glad you’re getting it all done now. When you have that baby, you won’t have the luxury of doing the back and forth,” she lectured.
I nodded, knowing she couldn’t see me, but agreeing with her. “Yes. I know. You’re right and I won’t do that to the child. I want this solved. Even if it doesn’t end well tonight, it doesn’t mean I am going to hate him. I want to remain on good terms with him.”
“With boundaries,” she clarified.
“With boundaries—no sex.”
“All right, have fun and I’m waiting for that picture.”
I laughed. “Okay. I will send it on. Wish me luck.”
“Good luck. If you need me or something changes, call me. I’ll be there in a flash.”
“Thank you, Amber.”
I hung up the phone, quickly took a picture of the dress, and sent it to Amber. I waited a few seconds for her reply. Her emoji response told me she was as impressed with the dress as I was. I didn’t know if Grayson had picked it out himself, but if he did, he had fantastic fashion sense.
I took my time choosing the right shoes and accessories for the dress. I didn’t want to distract from it. Grayson took the effort to buy the right dress and I wanted him to see me in it. As I slid it on, I let the fabric swallow my body. It was soft and light, and I felt like a goddess. I twirled around, feeling beautiful and sexy.
“Okay, Mr. Bancroft, you’ve got one shot at this. You better wow me,” I muttered, touching up my lip gloss before fluffing my hair. I grabbed my purse, hit the lights, and headed for the elevator. I knew I was going to show up in the lobby of my building a little early. I
didn’t care. I didn’t need to prove to him I was hard to get. That had already been established.
The car was waiting. I smiled. I wasn’t the only early one. I stepped out of the building and was immediately greeted by Grayson’s driver.
“Good evening, Mrs. Bancroft,” he said opening the back door.
I almost corrected him about my name, but I let it go. I had a feeling that was part of Grayson’s plan. He wanted me to get used to being called “Mrs. Bancroft.” It did have a nice ring to it, but that was not going to push me back into his arms.
As the driver navigated the city streets, I thought about my terms. What was it going to take for him to convince me he had changed? I wanted some list with boxes I could check, but there wasn’t one. I had to rely on my gut intuition. What I chose to do tonight would be based on what I felt. I would not let the past blur my decision, I promised myself.
I owed it to him to let him start with a clean slate. If he said or did something that showed me he hadn’t changed, then I would walk away and know that I tried. I was willing to give the man the benefit of the doubt. If it didn’t work, I could go on with my life and look for love when I was ready. I already knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Grayson had my heart. It was going to take some time before I could claim it as my own, and I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to give it away again.
When the car pulled to a stop in front of Grayson’s building, I hesitated. I wasn’t sure I could do it. Could I really walk away if he proved himself to be unchanged? If he ended up being the same man who had broken my heart? I had to. I couldn’t get out of the car until I promised myself I would go home and sign the papers. I would never talk to Grayson about anything beyond our child—if he even wanted to talk about that. If he chose to walk out of our lives, I would not stop him. I would not beg him to stay and I would not ask him for a penny.
I could support my child. I didn’t need him.
At least that’s what I was going to keep telling myself.
Chapter 71
Grayson
I was nervous as hell. Never before in my life had I ever been so damn nervous. I was used to being confident. I was used to being the guy in charge. I knew I could call the driver and ask if she got in the car, but I wanted to wait. Deep down, it was because I was too afraid to hear the truth. I knew a dress wasn’t the wow factor my mom and Justin had been trying to spark. They were encouraging something big and dramatic.
I knew Hannah and that wasn’t her style. A huge ten-carat diamond or a million bouquets of flowers would not get through to her. She could buy all that stuff herself. I needed to do something that was heartfelt and truly from me. It had to be special. It couldn’t be something I ordered through a catalog or sent my assistant to pick up.
I had felt a little foolish shopping in the boutique, but I knew Hannah well enough to know she liked the unique. She liked being a little different. I also knew she wasn’t flaunting her baby belly. She wasn’t wearing those shirts that screamed baby with an arrow pointing at her belly. She was a classy, elegant woman and when I saw the dress, I knew immediately it was for her. Even better, it didn’t look like a maternity dress, which I had a feeling she wouldn’t like.
I was waiting on the patio, the French doors were wide open, leading to the balcony. If she showed up, I wanted everything to be perfect. I had been planning this moment for a full day, every detail planned to perfection. I had on my black suit and a red tie. I considered a tux, but that would be overkill. I quickly ran a hand through my hair, making sure it was just so. You only got once chance to make a first impression and I wanted to be damn sure I gave her a first impression that took her breath away. I had to disarm her a little or I would never get out what I had to say.
When I heard my front door open, I nearly collapsed. I had never been weak-kneed in my life, but in that moment, I was. I held my breath. It had to be her. No one else would walk in my apartment. When she came through the door, her eyes scanning the room until she met mine, I let out the breath I’d been holding. Her eyes dropped to the red rose petals that led to me. She glanced up, her bright-blue eyes shimmering in the low light as she took in the scene I had carefully staged.
“Hi,” I said, waiting on the patio under the twinkling lights I had strung from the window to the patio railing.
She was smiling as she walked across the path I had created out of fresh red rose petals. I had envisioned her being barefoot, but I knew that was a little more fantasy than reality. What I saw before me was better than I could have fantasized. She looked ethereal. Her hair was loose and flowing around her. She wore little makeup. Everything about her was perfect. She was the mother of my child. The woman I wanted to spend my life with. When she stepped out onto the patio, I didn’t wait. I was afraid I would lose my nerve if I didn’t jump right into what I had been practicing in my head all day.
“Hannah, this is going to be hard for me, but I need you to please hear me out. I want to say a few things. Don’t argue—not yet.”
She nodded. “I’m here. I’m ready to listen to what you have to say.”
I took a deep breath, my palms suddenly sweaty. This was my one shot. I knew that whatever I said in the next several minutes would decide my future. It was a lot of pressure to put on myself.
“Hannah, I know I haven’t proven myself to you. I’ve given you no reason to believe me or trust me and despite all that, you gave me several chances. I want another chance. I don’t deserve it, but I’m asking you to give me one. I can be a good man. I want to learn how to be a good husband and father. I will be by your side through it all. No matter how rough things get, I will stick by you. This is me, the real me. You said once before you thought you saw something in me. You did. I showed you a glimpse of that man and then I freaked out. I’m ready to show you that side again. Hannah, you have to know this is hard for me, but I’m willing to walk through fire to show you how serious I am.”
I had been staring into her eyes, gauging her reaction to my words. I saw nothing that revealed what she was thinking. A hollow feeling in my gut could not be ignored. I felt like my skin was too tight. She was killing me with her silence. I couldn’t tell if I was getting through. She was staring at me, but her facial expression revealed nothing.
“Okay,” she whispered.
I blinked several times. “Okay?”
That was not a response I had anticipated. I was prepared to plead my case if she said no or wrap her in my arms if she said yes. Okay was vague.
She smiled and stepped toward me. “Okay. I want to try this. I want to see if this is something we can make work. I want to find that man I know is in there behind the fancy suits and the cutthroat business persona. I saw him a few times and that is the man I want to be with.”
I almost collapsed at her words. I quickly regained my control and reached inside my suit jacket, pulling out the box I had been hiding. Everything had to be perfect. I opened the box and presented her with the antique ring I had picked out. It wasn’t gregarious. It was simplistic, but it matched Hannah and the dress she was wearing. It wasn’t cheap by any means, but it wasn’t the classic giant diamond that could cut glass as she walked by.
Her mouth dropped open and I heard her gasp when she looked at my offering under the twinkle lights.
“Hannah, I want to start over. This is your wedding ring. This is the ring I want you to wear that signifies our new beginning. This ring is the one I want you to wear that signifies the rebirth of our relationship,” I said, grabbing her left hand.
I carefully slid the ring onto her finger, immediately feeling better about everything. It was like being on a merry-go-round and it coming to a complete halt. Everything in that moment stopped spinning out of control and it just felt right. I no longer had the weight of the world on my shoulders. It was freeing and promising at the same time. I had a woman by my side. I had a partner in life.
I had only this one chance to impress her and prove I was worthy of her part
nership. In her presence, I suddenly felt unworthy. I should have done more. I should have hired a violinist to play music or had fireworks scheduled to go off. I looked at her, my heart in my throat, waiting for her to answer me.
“Grayson, you didn’t have to do this. I don’t need a new ring,” she insisted.
I shook my head. “I want a fresh start. I don’t want any bad juju jinxing us.”
She giggled. “I’m not sure I believe that, but I appreciate the gesture. This ring is gorgeous. Absolutely stunning. Where did you get it?”
I shrugged. “I picked it out at some antique place,” I mumbled.
She shook her head. “It’s beautiful. I like it better than the first.”
“Good. This ring is my gift to you. When you wear it and look at it, I want you to think of me, in this moment. I want the ring to be special. I screwed up the first time. It was a cold, callous approach to something beautiful. I want to do it right this time,” I told her.
She smiled, tears still shimmering in her eyes. “This ring will always remind me of this moment.”
“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. I mean that. You are beautiful inside and out. Honestly, I don’t know that I deserve you, but I’m hoping you will give me a chance. I so want to show you I can be a good husband and father. I’ve sucked at it this far, but I promise I will get better. That ring is my promise to you.”
She was staring at the ring on her finger. “I want this to work. I want to make a life with you. I want to be happy with you by my side,” she whispered.
“Good. That’s all you need to do. I will make it happen. I want to be here for you and our child. I’m probably going to screw up several more times. Don’t give up on me. I need you. I need you to make me the man you want. When I screw up, tell me. I’ll keep trying to get better,” I vowed.
She tilted her head to the side. “I don’t want you to be anyone but who you are. I would never want to change you. Don’t change for me.”