by Vivian Arend
So he took the only guaranteed boner-killer and shoved open the door to his office. He flicked on the light, prepared to let the chaos in the untended room cool his fires as he pondered once again what a pathetic excuse for—
It was clean.
Shock nearly as strong as the passion he’d just experienced struck, and he crept forward, wondering if he’d stepped through a time machine.
The last time he’d seen the office this tidy, his parents had still been alive.
Bitter grief swamped him, and he clutched the back of the chair to keep from wavering. He was overwrought, emotion churning through him with his brain not fully engaged.
The woman he wanted more than his next breath was interested and yet utterly unavailable.
He closed his eyes, focusing on the mental images of his children. Their sweet smiles the center of his universe. A balancing place.
It took a moment, but when he glanced around again nothing had changed—the room was still strangely neat, and he moved forward with caution.
The side credenza held papers, stacked and in order. A quick glance through showed they were not only separated into bills and statements, they’d been sorted by month, and any he’d scrawled his name on in an attempt to have a way to remember which were paid had a red line under the total.
Around the edge of the room were more piles, neatly placed in folders, and on the desktop itself, his ledgers were out. The ones he still filled in by hand because that was how his mother had done it, and learning how to transfer it all over to a computer had seemed more work than it was worth with the limited time he had.
A trembling moment of displeasure struck. One of his brothers could have snuck into the room and straightened things, but he doubted it. No reason for them to do that now when they hadn’t done it anytime during the previous ten years.
It had to be Tamara’s work.
He wasn’t sure what to think about her looking through the family finances. Having her know what their financial bottom line was made him uncomfortable in ways he couldn’t quite articulate.
He should be mad. It was an invasion of privacy. It wasn’t her place to come in and do such a thing, especially not without asking permission.
But as he flipped open the journal he discovered there were no additional entries in the book. The last thing in there was in his somewhat legible handwriting.
Tucked between the pages, though, was a printout with the numbers from the statements on the side credenza. A running assessment, with no totals but a place to check off if the balances had been entered. She’d left that part blank, meaning her organization had gone only so far.
Still a stretch, but not as invasive as it could’ve been.
Caleb sat in the chair and considered hard. A riot of emotion rolled through him. The fierce passion he’d felt was still there, but it was muted with something else.
Looking around the room he realized she’d given him a gift he hadn’t expected.
Hell if he was smart enough to know what to do with it.
Chapter Fifteen
It had taken a long time to fall asleep. Long enough that when Caleb’s footsteps woke her, she should’ve been able to simply roll over and go back to sleep.
As if.
Hearing him disappear from the house just brought back all the feelings that had swept in when he’d disappeared the night before.
She wasn’t sure how she was going to get through the day. Heck, how she was going to meet his eyes for the first time.
She’d wanted him as much as he wanted her. She couldn’t even blame him for the stupid situation they’d ended up in because it had been her foolish attitude that had started the trouble in the first place.
Maybe he shouldn’t have assumed, but she was just as good at jumping to conclusions—as usual.
No surprises there.
Tamara stared at the ceiling, trying to plot ways this could possibly not end up a shitstorm, but all she saw in her mind were two little girls being disappointed yet another adult was abandoning them.
She and Caleb had to get over their impossible attraction and do what was right for the girls.
That was the solution. She’d make it clear she accepted her responsibility in last night’s debacle, but going forward they’d have to work extra hard. They’d make a commitment to talk things out and not let local gossip cause problems. That’s the last thing the girls needed, and she of all people knew better.
Tamara was still scolding herself when Caleb failed to march into the kitchen at six a.m., and she wondered if he was going to hide out and avoid her all day. In some ways that would be fine, but she couldn’t stop from peering out the window as she continued working, prepping meals and making plans for the girls.
She topped up her coffee and headed toward the door. She might as well get in a little sit time out on the porch. In case it was one of her last opportunities—
Oh my God. It was entirely possible Caleb could fire her.
Shock and reality smacked together, painful and horrifying. If it happened, she wouldn’t complain. Being fired from her last job had been an indignity because she’d meant well, but her mouthing off at the birthday party had been nothing but personal exasperation and not really helpful.
She pushed open the door and muffled a shriek. Eeny and Miney were standing shoulder to shoulder, noses tucked forward as if they planned on joining the family for breakfast.
“Go on, go on, backup,” she ordered, shoving against them and pushing them outside as she closed the door, coffee cup abandoned on the counter.
She caught the goats by their collars, glancing down at the slippers on her feet with regret. It was better than being barefoot. Tamara shuffled off the deck and into the snow, tugging and pulling to get them headed in the right direction.
Only to become stuck when she hit the pen. How was she supposed to open the gate without letting Meany out?
“You’re not a goat, you’re a turkey,” she told the old-timer through the fence. “You taught these two how to be escape artists, then you convince them to go AWOL while you stay back and act all innocent. I know your type.”
“Need a hand?”
Tamara whipped her head around to see Caleb striding closer. “I need four hands, so yes, please.”
Between the two of them they got the animals behind the fence. Caleb watched closely as the goats bounced happily around the pen. “I’ll get Ashton to take another look to see how they’re getting out.”
“Meany hasn’t escaped lately, so maybe it’s something small enough for these two and not for him.”
She stopped. They glanced at each other, the easy moment vanishing as her cheeks heated. “I’m sorry—”
“Last night—”
Tamara figured he’d stop talking, so she kept on rolling. “—I was totally out of line. It was my fault for misspeaking at the birthday party, as well, and I promise I won’t let it happen again. And I’ll make sure any rumours die in the bud.”
He stared at her feet as she spoke.
Icy-cold radiated through her soaking-wet soles, but while she was on a roll she wasn’t going to stop. “I hope you’ll forgive me. I would hate to leave and the girls have to get used to another nanny, and I really love—”
He held up a hand, and this time she choked to a stop.
“I’m not having this conversation with you while you’re standing without shoes in a snow bank.”
Oh God, she was totally fired.
“Caleb.” Sheer misery in her voice. “Please let me stay.”
“You’re not fired. Get in the house,” he ordered gruffly. “Now.”
It wasn’t right that, when her job was on the line, him being all bossy made her tingle.
She abandoned her slippers before stepping on the porch. Her socks were soaked through as well, so she stripped them off, and followed him obediently into the house.
He motioned toward the fireplace, tossing a blanket her way. “Wrap yourself up.”
He didn’t say anything else, just settled into the chair opposite her. She sat, draping herself in the throw that had landed beside her. Hands in her lap as she waited for the verdict.
Caleb took a deep breath. “I have one question. No, two.”
“Anything.”
“I wondered if you’d consider—” His gaze met hers firmly. “You got any experience with bookkeeping?”
Not the direction she expected this conversation to go. It was enough of a surprise that Tamara simply answered the question. “Not much more than accounting in high school, and a couple of business-management classes in university. Administrative math. I’ve helped Karen look over things on the ranch, but Lisa’s the Whiskey Creek girl with the numbers brain.”
A soft sound escaped him, not his usual sexy grumble, but more of a frustrated sigh. “I didn’t do well with math back in school, and accounting still doesn’t make me very happy.”
“Why don’t you hire a business manager?”
His lips twitched. “Probably hire them to get things straightened out only to have them tell me I need to fire them because I can’t afford to pay their salary.”
A flutter of concern struck. “Are things that bad? I mean, I know I did a running tally, and I’m sorry for invading your privacy, although I didn’t look at the numbers that close, just put them down for you.” She was rambling and knew it. She caught herself. “My dad does the same thing. In fact, I think every single business owner who gets into it because they love the other parts of the job has an office like yours. My cousin’s quilt shop was a mess.”
“Would you take over?” The words burst from him as if a plug had been pulled from a well, gushing over her, earnest and sincere. “I need someone to help, and if you’re interested in getting things straightened out, it would sure be appreciated. I’ll hire somebody to come in and clean if that would give you more time. Same as before—the girls are your first responsibility, but if you put this second on your list… Well maybe third, because I like having food on the table.”
Not what she’d expected at all. She figured she’d be getting the boot this morning, and here she was being given more responsibilities?
“I don’t mind,” she told him honestly. “As long as you understand I’m not an accountant.”
He visibly relaxed, settling back in his chair as if he could breathe again.
Only, they weren’t done. Not really. They still needed to address the elephant in the room.
How should she start?
Then wonder of wonders, he did.
He lifted his eyes to hers and spoke as politely as if he were facing a very demanding review board. “I was wrong last night. You’re a woman in my home who deserves to be protected and treated with courtesy. What I did was beyond disrespectful. You shouldn’t feel you need to defend yourself from me, verbally or physically”—he held up a hand to ward off her protest—“which is all you did when you turned the tables. I’m sorry.”
Well then. Tamara had to think that over for a moment. It was odd to have him basically apologize for a kiss that had turned her world on end, but…nice he had taken responsibility for his actions.
But this wasn’t all on him.
When she was around? It was never all someone else’s fault.
“I was wrong as well.” She took a deep breath. “You’re a good-looking man, and there’s an attraction between us. But—”
“It won’t happen again.” He rose to his feet. “If you want to work on the office stuff, just let me know what you need. I’ll call the bank later this morning and make sure you’re cleared to make inquiries.”
“But—”
“I’ll be out until dinner.”
He was gone.
From what seemed to be a deep connection to not even sharing the same air space in under fifteen seconds. Tamara sat back and felt the room reel.
He really was the most annoying man, but, she had to admit she admired him for sticking to the priorities. Plus, any morning that started with expectations of being fired that didn’t finish that way was okay in her books.
An easy truce returned. That edge of sexual awareness between them lingered, but they both did their best to keep it locked down tight. Their evenings by the fire after the girls went to bed became a time of deep peacefulness. Sometimes chatting, sometimes just sitting.
Caleb didn’t talk much, but they didn’t have to fill the room with conversation to have it feel comfortable.
For once in her life Tamara was learning that silence had a rhythm and flavour. It was cozy, and sweet, and instead of ending each day like a running fool, she crawled into bed satisfied and content with her day’s work.
Satisfied, except for that will not be spoken of or thought too hard about craving she felt for the big, gruff rancher.
And her days…
Full of activity and energy and two little girls she enjoyed more and more as time passed.
Tamara rounded the corner, pulling to a stop inches before she slammed into Caleb.
A rapid stop that turned into a disaster as Sasha and Emma slammed into her from behind, shoving her the last couple of inches forward so she connected top to bottom with Caleb.
He’d been in the process of taking a step backward, and the combined momentum of three bodies hitting him out of the blue meant his legs folded, and he tipped toward the floor, Tamara desperately trying to brace herself.
They landed in a pile. A solid grunt escaped Caleb as Tamara ended up the filling in an Oreo cookie, Sasha laughing heartily and Emma offering a snicker.
Under her was one hundred percent hard male body.
Tamara forced a lighthearted smile to her lips as she attempted to roll away. “Oops. Sorry.”
“We caught you,” Sasha gloated, twisting herself free and pulling Emma to her feet.
Caleb placed a firm grip on Tamara’s hips and lifted her.
Was it only her imagination or was there a caress in his touch before they both made it to their feet?
“Running in the house?” he grumbled.
Tamara raised a brow. “High-velocity acceleration for short periods of time. We didn’t expect to see you home so soon.”
“Obviously.”
Well, now. Somebody was extra grumpy this afternoon. “Go on, girls. Grab the carrots and raisins.”
They scurried past, digging into the pantry and fridge as Tamara bestowed her best nanny look upon Caleb. “What can I help you with?”
He turned sideways to speak privately. “I won’t be here for dinner and might not get back until late. Put the girls to bed for me tonight?”
Tamara hesitated.
Caleb sighed. “I know it’s your night off, but Penny just called, and her family’s got some animals they’re considering selling. Talisman will give us first dibs, but they’re shipping tomorrow, so we have to drive to Calgary to check them out.”
Luke’s woman was not growing on her, except maybe like a fungus. Sheer frustration on Caleb’s behalf struck. “Nice of them to give you so much lead time.”
Amusement rolled before he tapped it down. “Yeah. I guess Penny forgot.”
She didn’t have the strength to hide her growl of annoyance. “Twit.”
Caleb glanced over her shoulder to where the girls were consulting the recipe she’d pinned to the fridge, slipping into the pantry to gather supplies without help. “I’m surprised you picked that word.”
“You already know what I think of the woman. She must be freaky in bed. Either that or she’s keeping Luke drugged.”
“Tamara,” he scolded, but his lips twitched.
“What? My money’s on the drugs. She looks as if ice cream wouldn’t melt in her mouth.” She raised her hands and backed up a step. “But the family raises some fine horses. Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of the girls.”
“You can rearrange your days off—”
“Enough. It’s okay. Just…she doesn’t have an older sister, does she?”
> Caleb looked confused.
Tamara forced a smile, fake all the way. “I don’t think you should eat or drink anything when you’re around their place. Who knows what they might slip into your food.”
She turned and left him to rejoin the girls, guiding them through making a healthy salad before pulling out the miniature marshmallows and fixings for ambrosia.
It was a quiet supper with just the three of them, at least until Dustin dropped in and then it was chaos until bedtime.
The girls were off brushing their teeth when Dustin cleared his throat. “Can I ask you something?”
Tamara stacked the games they’d been playing in a pile and stood to put them away. “What’s up?”
“There’s someone I like, but I don’t know if they like me, and it’s hard to figure it out because there’s not a lot of events I go to that she’s at.”
Dating advice with a nineteen-year-old guy. This could be all sorts of trouble. “Go on.”
Dustin scuffed his feet on the floor. “Well, Caleb’s tightening the purse strings, so I’m not about to ask for extra money. I’m trying to save everything I can, but that means I don’t have the coin to be able to go asking people out for fancy dates all the time.”
Warning bells were going off like crazy in Tamara’s brain.
When he continued with “she’s not part of the crowd I used to hang with in high school. She’s a lot more”—hesitation—“mature than that,” Tamara’s heart fell all the way to her toes.
“Dustin. I—”
This was so many kinds of awkward she didn’t know where to start. She refused to lie. She couldn’t straight-up say she wasn’t interested in dating, because the honest-to-God truth was if Caleb asked her, she’d be opening the door in spite of how bad of an idea it was.
She wasn’t looking to date Dustin.