by Ian Gregoire
“You know that just by looking at her?”
A smile tugged the corner of Kayden’s mouth. “Yes,” she replied. “We’ve developed a real understanding over the past two years. I can read her almost as well as she reads me.”
She set off at a casual jog towards the administration building, leaving Neryssa rooted to the spot, waiting for her return. As she drew nearer, Kayden could tell that Fay was displeased about something. Moments later she joined Fay outside the rear entrance, eager to find out what she wanted to discuss with her.
“Morning, Fay,” she said with a smile, ensuring her voice was low enough to prevent anyone overhearing the inappropriately familiar manner in which she addressed the campus administrator by her first name. “Will this take long? Neryssa is waiting for me.”
“Before you attend your first class this morning, make sure you come see me in my office.”
“All right.” Kayden was a little taken aback by the brusque tone. “Is something wrong?”
“You’ll find out when you arrive.”
With that, the conversation was over before it began. Fay turned on her heels and headed back inside the administration building without another word. Kayden frowned, perturbed by the abruptness of it all. Her master was definitely unhappy about something. Maybe it was the aftereffect of the attack on Antaris? She briefly contemplated forgoing breakfast in favour of following Fay up to her office, but she decided it would be rude to leave Neryssa waiting. There was no urgent need to discuss whatever was bothering Fay, right now. All would become clear soon enough.
She rejoined Neryssa shortly thereafter, and together they promptly made their way to the mess hall where they shared a table with a number of Neryssa’s acquaintances. Kayden felt energised once she’d eaten half a dozen hash browns, washed down with a mug of camomile and spiced apple tea. There’d be little chance of yawning her way through the first lesson of the day; breakfast had really done the trick.
The small-talk at the table passed her by, in spite of Neryssa’s best efforts to coax her participation, because she couldn’t stop thinking about who or what had got underneath Fay’s skin. Eventually it was time to honour her commitment, before the clock tower sounded the arrival of Eighth Hour and the beginning of morning classes. Announcing her departure, she confirmed with Neryssa that they would meet up for lunch.
Moments later, Kayden was entering the administration building via the south-facing rear entrance. She strutted across the lobby to the reception desk where the ever-affable receptionist, Marla, was on duty.
“Hello there, Sweetie,” Marla greeted her cheerfully. “You look lovely as always. What can I do for you this fine morning?”
“Master Fay asked me to come to her office before my first class.”
The receptionist looked confused. “That’s odd, Administrator Annis didn’t mention that to me.” She began fingering the page of a leather-bound journal laying open before her. “And there’s no appointment on her schedule.” She looked up at Kayden. “But, since it’s you, I’m sure it’s all right for you to just go on up.”
“Thank you.” Kayden stepped away from the reception desk, heading immediately to the nearby stairs and taking the steps two at a time until she reached the top floor. Outside Fay’s office she knocked on the door three times and waited.
The door slowly swung open, and in the doorway stood Fay, looking pensive. “Come in, Kayden,” she said, turning on her heels to march back to her desk. “Close the door behind you.”
Kayden stepped into the office, invoking Yuksaydan to shut the door as she trailed in Fay’s wake, concerned about her master’s abruptness.
“Have a seat,” said Fay, coming around her mahogany desk, preparing to sit down.
“It’s all right, I’ll stand.”
Halting her movement to sit down, Fay stood upright again, staring pointedly at Kayden. “Sit!” she reiterated tersely.
Irked by Fay’s tone, Kayden duly sat down in one of the two armchairs facing the desk. “Fay, are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
Taking her seat at her desk, Fay placed both elbows on the polished wood surface, interlocked her fingers, and rested her chin on top of her hands. There was a prolonged silence, fraught with tension, as she held Kayden’s gaze. Finally, she said, “Kayden, you and I need to have a discussion about your nocturnal activities.”
A breath caught in Kayden’s throat. She did her best to conceal her consternation. “Nocturnal activities?” she inquired, trying to sound both innocent and oblivious. Surely Fay didn’t know about her trysts with Lazar. “Could you be more specific?”
“I know you’ve been breaking curfew for the past six months. Unless you want to deny it.”
The unshakeable certainty in Fay’s voice made a denial futile, Kayden realised. “No. I can’t deny it.” But knowing about the curfew-breaking didn’t necessarily mean that Fay was aware of what she was doing while off campus, or who she was doing it with.
“And if that wasn’t bad enough,” Fay continued, “you’ve been swindling the good people of Timaris, exploiting their hospitality without recompense, and using my name no less to claim that the special treatment and privileges you’ve been enjoying was sanctioned by me.”
“Now, just wait a minute!” Kayden’s muscles tensed, and she sat just that little bit straighter in her armchair. “I haven’t swindled anyone into giving me anything for free. Why would you think that?”
“So, it’s just a coincidence the townsfolk believe that every business in Timaris is required to give you anything and everything you ask for, free of charge, is that what you’re telling me… Miss Jayta?”
Oh, really? thought Kayden. Well, that would explain why more and more people were refusing to accept payment from her; and this whole time she thought they were just being generous. “Fay, I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve never said any such thing to anyone.” A memory flashed through her mind. “I mean… yes, there was this one occasion late last year when a shopkeeper wouldn’t accept my money. For some reason he got it in his head that I was the ‘special apprentice’ of Antaris, favoured over all others. That my closeness to you entitled me to privileged treatment.” Not that this amounted to her swindling the people of Timaris. “The only thing I’m guilty of is failing to correct him.” Before Fay could respond, she added, “But I certainly never stated or even implied that you had sanctioned a requirement that I be given free stuff.”
On the other side of the desk, Fay’s penetrating gaze remained unwavering as she silently held Kayden’s gaze. It appeared as though she were trying to decide whether or not to believe what she’d just heard. “Very well,” she said, finally. “If I accept that your taking advantage of our neighbours’ hospitality was unintended, your absconding from campus, and breaking curfew, was not.”
There was nothing she could offer as a rebuttal so Kayden held her tongue.
“You know campus rules apply to you as much as every other apprentice here,” Fay continued, “yet you have been breaking curfew for the past six months. Would you care to explain yourself?”
“I’d rather not, actually.”
“You said that as if you have a choice. You don’t!”
The increasingly terse manner in which Fay spoke to her caused Kayden to question whether it really was the attack on Antaris responsible for her master’s evident displeasure. It was starting to feel as though it was the curfew-breaking Fay had taken exception to. She sighed. Whether she liked it or not, she was going to have to tell Fay the truth—or some of it, at least. But there was no way she was going to mention Lazar’s involvement. She’d be mortified if anyone found out about their liaisons, even if that someone was Fay.
“I… I had no other option,” she confessed, reluctantly. “I’ve been… frustrated recently, and… my problematic living arrangements exacerbate the frustration.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? What’s wrong with your living arrangements?”
There was an awkward mom
ent of silence while Kayden fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat.
“Kayden!”
“Fay! I have to share a dorm room with six other women,” she opined. “Do you have any idea how frustrating that is?”
With a frown, Fay replied, “How exactly does that justify breaking curfew?”
“I’m a young, healthy woman. And, sometimes… when I’m lying in bed at night… I get… itches.”
“Itches?”
“Yes, itches. And I can’t very well… scratch them… with other people in the room. I need privacy if I want to… scratch an itch… to my satisfaction.” Kayden couldn’t believe how awkward she felt discussing this with Fay. It was getting harder to maintain eye contact; her gaze was wandering, though she noted how nonplussed her master seemed to be, sitting at the desk. “Fay, do I really have to spell it out for you?”
“That won’t be necessary, Kayden,” replied Fay in her more familiar matter-of-fact fashion. “I understand your meaning just fine. What I don’t understand, however, is how your need to… relieve your frustration compels you to sneak off to Timaris after curfew.”
In response, Kayden explained that she had considered the option of finding privacy on campus, either in the women’s bathhouse or by breaking into one of the storage buildings, but decided against it. “I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on… what needs to be done,” she continued, “if I was worrying about someone walking in on me.” Breaking curfew, and journeying to Timaris was the best option available to her, especially as she had a pre-existing arrangement with an innkeeper to use the spare room in his attic, whenever she needed it.
“Ah, you mean Mr. Moriantis.”
How does she know about Rondario? thought Kayden.
“And am I really supposed to believe that your urges only plague you at midnight?” asked Fay. “Because you know you are perfectly entitled to head in to town in the evenings—as long as you return before curfew.”
The conversation was making Kayden feel increasingly awkward, and she couldn’t understand why; this wasn’t the first time she’d been quizzed by Fay about matters of a sexual nature. The previous occasion was two years ago when she and her master were still ‘enemies’, and not only had she been fully at ease with what was in essence an interrogation, she’d also taken a perverse pleasure in shocking Fay with the details of her illicit behaviour. Yet, inexplicably, the here and now was entirely different. It was actually more difficult to be having this talk with Fay when logically it should have been easier. They were friends, now, rather than foes.
“Kayden?”
“All right! All right!” She forced herself to meet Fay’s gaze. “In theory, you’re correct. I could go to Timaris in the evenings, before curfew, to... to take care of business. But that would mean explaining to my friends why I don’t want them to tag along when I head into town, or coming up with a bogus cover story. I value my privacy too much for the former, and the latter would just make them suspicious, sooner rather than later. Besides, there are always scores of apprentices in Timaris in the evenings. The decision to go there after curfew meant I didn’t have to worry as much about bumping into anyone from campus.”
“And then what?”
The question confused Kayden. There was no ‘and then what’ to speak of. She frowned at the administrator.
“After a couple of months you lost the ability to scratch your own itches, is that it?” pressed Fay. “You had to rope Lazar Litmanari into breaking curfew to scratch them for you?”
“What?” The word came out like a strangled gasp. Kayden’s heartbeat quickened, and she felt the blood drain from her face. She stared, wide-eyed, unable to speak again. Surely Fay didn’t know about her indiscretions with Lazar.
“Yes, Kayden,” replied Fay, as if in answer to the unspoken thought, “I know all about your liaisons with Lazar these past four months.”
Slumping back in her armchair, Kayden’s hands gripped the armrests tightly; her mind was racing. How had Fay found out? What if she wasn’t the only person who knew? What if other people were also aware of it? How would she be able to show her face on campus if people suddenly saw her as a notch on Lazar’s belt?
“You’ve gone very quiet, Kayden,” said Fay, intruding upon her thoughts. “It’s not like you to be so reticent to talk. I hope you don’t expect me to believe your faux embarrassment. It doesn’t suit you.”
“No,” she conceded, feeling breathless. “I… I just don’t know how to explain how it happened.” She recalled the night she and Lazar had crossed paths in Timaris after curfew. “Four months ago I arrived at Delmara Inn, as usual, and while I stood outside waiting for Rondario—I mean the innkeeper—to open the door for me, Lazar walked up behind me. He said he had seen me entering the inn a few times before, and that his curiosity had got the better of him. The dunderhead actually threatened to report me for breaking curfew if I didn’t tell him what I was up to. I told him to get lost. It wasn’t as though he could rat me out without exposing his own curfew-breaking. He’s a serial curfew-breaker, by the way.
“Then Rondario opened the door, and the idiot assumed that Lazar and I were… together.” The distaste she heard in her voice sounded strange given what happened next. “And then… I don’t know how or why, but… in that instant, I started looking at Lazar differently. I suddenly saw his… appeal, and why so many people call him ‘Pretty Boy’ Lazar. One moment I wanted him to go away. Then I was leading him up to the spare room in the attic. And for the next couple of hours we were… doing it.” Leaning forward in her chair, she added, forcefully, “It had to be some kind of temporary insanity, or something.”
“And this temporary insanity has lasted four months, has it?”
Trust Fay to poke an obvious hole in her story.
With a sigh, Kayden leaned back in her seat, and reluctantly admitted that insanity—temporary or otherwise—was not a factor in her ongoing dalliance with Lazar. “After that first time,” she continued, “I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened. No one has ever… scratched my itch so… enthusiastically before. I had no idea it could be so good. Too good to let it be just a one-off. I wanted it to become a regular thing, and I guess I don’t need to say that Lazar wanted the same thing. When I arrived at Delmara Inn the following night, he was waiting outside for me, so the deal was sealed.”
“I thought you and Lazar hated each other; now you’re lovers?” The expression on Fay’s face suggested she couldn’t believe what she was saying. “Is it serious?”
“Serious?” yelped Kayden. “Don’t be silly! I can’t stand that dunderhead.” Even to her own ears the denial sounded a little too vociferous.
“Kayden, what was happening up in that attic last night was not the actions of two people who can’t stand each other.”
You have got to be kidding me! Kayden’s eyes widened, aghast, as she felt herself blanch. “Fay!” she blurted. “Please tell me you were not in the room with us. Watching us… do it.”
“Of course not. But given how much noise you were making it’s a wonder half the town isn’t gossiping about your escapades with Lazar.”
Embarrassment was an emotion Kayden was unaccustomed to feeling, but she was suddenly wishing Fay had already instructed her in how to employ Zarantar to disappear from one place to another, in the blink of an eye. She wanted to be anywhere but the office that had felt like a sanctuary for much of the last two years. Glancing briefly at the nearby grandfather clock, she was relieved to see that her ordeal would be over shortly. The time was fast approaching Eighth Hour, and the first classes of the morning were due to commence.
“Though it goes without saying the good people of Timaris will now be spared your noisy antics,” Fay was saying, “at least during curfew, that is. Obviously, I cannot order the two of you to end your relationship, but—”
“We don’t have a relationship,” Kayden interjected quickly. “We have an arrangement.”
“Is that right?” Finally, Fay raised her
chin from where it rested upon the back of her hands, and removed her elbows from the desk, leaning back in her chair. “And does Lazar know this?”
“I’ve certainly told him often enough.”
“And he’s fine with his role in this… arrangement?”
“Ye―” Kayden caught herself in time. Drat! she thought. Why couldn’t this question have come a day earlier? “Well… he was fine with it. Until last night, maybe.”
“What happened last night?”
“The idiot wanted to ruin everything. He started going on about how things have changed, that there was something more between us, and we should see where it goes.” Kayden rolled her eyes. “He actually suggested courting me openly, if you can believe that. Like that’s ever going to happen,” she added with disdain. “Anyway, I set him straight. I told him I wanted nothing more from him than what I’m getting, and that was the end of the discussion. He knows where we stand, now, if it wasn’t clear before.”
Sighing audibly, Fay slowly leaned forward, resting her forearms on the desk. “Kayden, I realise there is a widely held assumption that men are able to completely divorce their emotions from the physical acts of intimacy—and there’s probably some truth in that. However, even in an arrangement such as you’ve described, the longer it goes on for, the greater the possibility for an emotional attachment to develop, as Lazar seems to have demonstrated.
“If you have no interest in reciprocating his feelings, you’ll be doing yourself and Lazar a service by putting an end to your trysts, before things become… acrimonious. While he might claim to be content with the status quo, for now, he won’t be for very long.”
Heeding that advice had little appeal. Nonetheless, she replied, “I… I’ll think about it.”
Beyond the walls of the building, the clock tower began to chime, announcing the arrival of Eighth Hour. With the first chime Kayden immediately rose to her feet, taking a step away from her chair; she was eager to leave and put the conversation behind her.
“Where do you think you’re going? You have not been dismissed.”