by Piper Denna
Cam came in then, and kissed me right in front of my big sister.
Kerri wasn’t at all embarrassed the way the kids had been. She smiled at me like she knew something I didn’t.
*
Before she left that day, Kerri pulled me into the bedroom. “Hey. You want me to take all the kids tonight, so you two can have some alone time?” she offered.
“Proud Papa won’t fool around ‘til we get the IUD out,” I moped.
“Oh, that’s so sweet.”
I didn’t particularly agree, but I kept my opinion to myself.
“Hormones got you horny?”
“Uh, no. Seeing him has me horny. I mean, look at him.”
Kerri smiled in agreement. “You know, I never saw Bill kiss you like that.”
I scoffed, “He kissed me like that in front of millions of people when he proposed, and again last weekend, Kerri.”
“Well, sure. And at your wedding, too. Only when there’s a big scene involved. But never just out of the blue like that, spontaneous.” She hugged me before announcing brightly, “The kids are coming with me, anyway. Think CJ will let Emily come?”
Emily had no trouble talking Daddy into letting her go along with her new “cousins.”
*
Kerri’s plan to give us alone time in which we could talk backfired. When we cuddled on the couch, Cam was distant and untalkative in a way he’d never been. I asked him to nap with me on the bed, and he wouldn’t touch me. He barely responded when I kissed him. I finally turned my back to him, letting the tears run silently. I tried for all the world not to shake or shudder, lest he know I was crying and be more upset by my less than enthusiastic feelings about the pregnancy.
His chest was the first thing I saw when I woke. The second was a tear slipping without a sound from his eye.
“Cam. What’s wrong?”
He turned his back, shut me out.
“Come on. You’ve never been like this. Are you upset now about the baby? Did it just sink in? Please tell me. I can’t stand us like this. I need you so much right now.”
His shoulder tensed when I put my hand on it. “That’s it, huh? You need me now?”
“No, that’s not it, dammit. I…”
“Look. I know you don’t want this baby. I told you if you don’t want it—well, I gave you the option. But do not plan on making a life with me because of it.” With a shrug, he cast my hand from his shoulder. “I know the lengths you go to for your kids. I’ll help you out, and be there for the baby. Just don’t take my heart as part of the package.”
“Oh, what? Now that I’m knocked up and I’m not gonna be any fun for a couple years, your feelings suddenly change? Great. That’s a real stand-up attitude. Most of the time a girl can count on the guy to at least stick around until the birth. Fuck!”
“I’m not going to live my life with somebody only because of a kid.”
“Well, excuse me for thinking you loved me and wanted to be with me.” Sick of glaring at his back, I rolled and stared at the ceiling with my arms crossed.
“I do, Ali. But not on the grounds that you were trapped into it.”
“I’m not trapped. It’s just different than I planned. It sucks to feel like the choice was taken away, you know?”
“Yeah. I do.” He turned back and kissed me, and it felt like we made up. But when I tried to go down on him, he wouldn’t let me. “No, Ali. We’re not there yet.”
I smacked the bed in frustration. “Why the hell not?”
“For starters, I’m not gonna lay here and let you please me while you get nothing in return. And if we get started with something, I don’t trust myself to not finish it the right way.”
I took a deep breath and snuggled up next to him. At last, we were alone and I was ready confess what I’d been holding back for so long. “Okay. Be a martyr then. I’ve been wanting to tell you, in case something happened and I died tomorrow, I want you to know…”
“That’s a bad fucking joke, Ali.”
“It’s no joke. I’m trying to tell you the way you told me.”
“No.”
“You can’t stop me from it. I love you, okay? So you can quit thinking I only want to be with you because of this little surprise inside me. I love you. Why are you… oh quit.” The tear I wiped from his eye stung to my core.
“How are they gonna get that thing out? Aren’t you supposed to be all sealed up down there now?”
“Cam. I’m sure I’ll be fine. It hurt going in, but it kinda folds up I think, like a toggle bolt or whatever those screws are behind the drywall. Maybe they have a tool that folds it to take it out. Anyway, they’ll get it out.” I wasn’t too sure myself how safe it would be for the pregnancy. “Are you worried about me or the baby?”
He looked at me like I was nuts. “Both, of course. Jesus!”
“We’ll both be fine. I promise.”
“How can you promise that?”
“I can feel it.”
“Yeah, right. You didn’t even know the baby was there, ‘til two days ago.”
“Well, look at the odds it’s beat already. Of course it’ll make it through the removal. Cam, I really do love you.” He looked away out the window when I said it, and I was pissed as hell because he didn’t believe me. “That’s nice. When have I lied to you? You have no reason to not believe me!”
“Shit, Ali. Why couldn’t you have made up your mind before this pregnancy, so I knew you weren’t just doing what you had to?”
“I don’t know. Why couldn’t you just keep your mouth shut if you suspected I was pregnant? And wait for me to tell you I love you when I was ready?”
“Maybe I could’ve just pretended the pregnancy wasn’t there. That’s probably what you were doing. Close your eyes. If you can’t see it, it’s not there, right Ali? That’s how you handled Bill’s cheating, and our feelings for each other. And the thing with Shurre. Great strategy, if you’re an ostrich. Only the ostrich can’t see when something comes up and bites it in the ass.”
“Maybe you should kiss my ass!”
“Been doin’ that for too long, already.”
I cried then, knowing he was right, but too angry to apologize. And Cam held me until I was asleep, but inside he must have been wishing he was somewhere else.
*
On our way to my appointment the next morning, I strove to appear calm. Not only was I off to a prenatal appointment with possible complications I’d only begun to consider, but the lover whose child I carried had little to say to me.
His hand clasped mine in the clinic waiting room. When the nurse called me, he sat like a stone in the chair.
“Please?” I whispered in his ear. Careful not to use the word “need,” I said, “I’d like for you to be there.” So he came.
I couldn’t help my irritation at the hassle of seeing this doctor when I’d be visiting my own back in Phoenix soon. All the lengthy forms I hated filling out were complete. And yet, the nurse had a hundred more questions for me.
The doctor came in and she found what I already knew—there was no string present. Cam held my hand while I lay on the exam table cringing as my vagina and cervix were poked, prodded, and picked-over in search of the missing string.
“We’ll have to do an ultrasound to see if it’s inside,” she told us.
While the ultrasound was wheeled in, Cam and I mumbled to one another about how they’d get the IUD out if it was in there still. I closed my eyes, remembering the ultrasounds of my boys, grainy and hard to see. Surely a big copper “T” would be a clearer image.
After more poking and prodding and a lubed wand sliding where it seemed Cam would never go again, the doctor pointed out one ovary and then the other. The picture was so much better than it used to be.
“Okay. This is good. It’s not ectopic. And no sign of the MIA IUD,” she punned.
Cam heaved a sigh of relief.
“You must have expelled it at some point. IUD’s are usually pretty easy and painles
s to remove.”
I still couldn’t understand how something could fall out of my vagina without my noticing, but I was so relieved I let it go.
The doctor went on, “So let’s take a peek at this baby. Here’s the placenta…”
I was already fixating on the pulsing little heart nearby, not too concerned with the placenta.
“…and it’s a pretty large placenta for an eight-week-old fetus. Maybe… hm! Look here.” She pointed to another throbbing spot on the screen.
I looked back at the first spot, still pulsing.
“Does this kid have two hearts?” I asked, sounding much calmer than I was.
Cam’s hand held mine tighter than what felt comfortable.
Without missing a beat, she answered, “I’d say it’s much more likely that this mom has two fetuses.”
All Fore Revenge
Chapter 22
“Well, still no info on the case of the missing IUD,” I advised Kerri by phone on the way back to the farmhouse. “But it looks like you get to be an auntie twice this time.”
“Huh?”
“Twins, Kerri. There are two little buns in the oven.” Her ecstatic screeching made both Cam and me smile. “Now remember, keep it to yourself for a while yet. Okay?”
I hung up and listened to my voice mail, then snapped the phone shut and watched cedars and sage going by out my window. “Well. My agent wants me to go to New York this Friday.”
“New York. Why?”
“It seems I’m wanted on the Today Show and she really, really wants me to go.” We drove on in silence for a while before I announced, “I’m gonna call her back and tell her I can’t.”
Cam asked, “The hell—why? Why would you do that?”
“I’ve never been there before. I mean, I’m not up to it right now.” He looked skeptical, so I came clean. “I’m scared of falling apart on national TV if they ask me about Bill. That’s all it is, I’m sure. ‘Interview the wife and get the greasy dirt on the cheater.’”
He pulled over and cupped my chin in his hand. “Ali. Why would you pass this up? It’s not just about Bill. Your books are out there now, and people are interested in you. If you want company, I’ll go with you. If you wanta experience it alone, then do it. Or take Shurre. Get her away from her sicko uncle.”
“Are you sure you’d want me, like, in the public eye? I always hated it when I went places with Bill and somebody wanted his autograph and didn’t even notice I was next to him. I mean, if we end up together long term… Oh fuck!” I threw my hands up in frustration. “I have no idea what the hell we’re doing, Cam. Are we a couple or an accidental pregnancy? I thought we had this thing we were moving toward, and now I feel like some unforeseen event has totally changed our lives.”
Again, Cam’s hands captured and held my face, cupping it so I had to meet his eyes. “It has. It did the first day I ended up at your service call instead of Leroy, the guy who lives in an old Airstream camper surrounded by junk and never showers. He was scheduled to be there, but he had to go get treated for lice or lose his job.”
That was grim, thinking who could have showed up that day in April instead of Cam. Not like I’d have gone after him for a revenge screw, but yuck! “Before that, Bill was moron enough to let you in his pants hours after boning his secretary. And what about the day your IUD disappeared and two of your eggs happened to mosey along and go for the pick-up lines my sperm were using?” He smiled then added softly, “Not to mention whatever turned me into the walking hard-on who went for your crazy pass when I’d rejected thousands of other horny housewives with the same plan.”
“Oh, shut up! I scoped out two satellite guys before I chose you,” I laughed.
“Ali. We’re us. Ali and Cam.” His hands clasped mine in my lap. “And Will, Andy, Emily, Bill, Erin. And in seven months, two more people. We’re all connected anyway. It wasn’t ever gonna be about only you and me. We just need to decide what part the Ali and Cam are gonna be. Think on it, okay?”
“You’ll come with me, to New York? Because I’ve never done national TV.”
“You’ve done it lots of times at golf tournaments.”
“I didn’t have to talk. And don’t even mention those security tapes. I did know I had an audience, but I only counted on the nosy neighbors, not every cable subscriber in the country.”
“I’ll come. I’ll hold your hand up ‘til the second you leave the Green Room, or whatever they call it. I’ll call Erin about dropping Emily back there on the way. We need to FedEx those papers back to her, too. I’m sorry for being such an ass today. I was worried about you, and us…”
“And the baby. Zzz. Babies.” I had to make myself believe I was pregnant with twins. Maybe it would hammer into my head with repetition.
“One thing? Why are you so upset about this pregnancy if you always wanted more kids?” He tried to keep his tone light, but his eyes betrayed how hurt he was. So this was what had been bothering him! “Did you not want to have kids with me?”
“I guess I hadn’t thought that far ahead, Sweetie. I mean, I thought that part of my life was done. Bill was the original missing dad, I swear. He was always gone, and the boys are only fifteen months apart. I was so young and alone with them. I love my babies. I did want more, when they were a few years older, and then I guess we just quit talking about it. So I thought that door was shut, you know?” I held his hand in mine and vowed, “I wouldn’t trade carrying your twins for carrying any other twins in the world. How’s that?”
“Small comfort, but it’s a start.” At least the dimples came out, so I guessed he felt better.
“Let’s go eat lunch somewhere and celebrate,” I suggested.
“Celebrate?”
“Yeah, you know. No scary IUD removal, no danger to the baby.” I shook my head and added, “Twins. Or we could pretend we’re on an actual date. Feed me well and you might have a chance at making it to third base later.”
*
We ate Mexican food and Cam was happy to see me pig out.
Later, lying, sleepy, with him curled around me on the bed, I felt happy for the first time since he and Emily arrived.
“Sorry, I can’t quite remember what third base is. Could you refresh me?” I said softly.
His fingers brushed away my hair and his lips behind me kissed my neck, just below my hair. I arched at his uneven breath tickling in my ear. Reaching behind me to sink my fingers in his hair, I moaned with the happy knowledge that finally, finally we’d make love again. Cam’s fingers slid inside my bra and cupped my breast, gently caressing the already sensitive and hardening nipple. I pushed into it, arching more, and my bottom pressed against him. I could feel him hard and ready. The contact made him groan against my neck.
“Ali,” he murmured. It became almost a chant, he repeated my name so many times. He said it so intensely I was overwhelmed by the feeling that my name was a word with a multitude of meanings. His lips moved along my jaw ‘til he turned me over and I faced him. “Kiss me, Honey.”
I did, and he edged on top of me. The feel of his big, heavy weight on me was a turn-on by itself. That this perfect body, this beautiful person, wanted to be with me, loved me, was a powerful aphrodisiac. I tasted his tongue, spicy from lunch, fed but still hungry.
His lips moved down where he’d unbuttoned my shirt and unclasped my bra. “Mmm. They’re bigger.”
He was right. I’d written it off as bloating, but my breasts were straining in my bras lately, spilling over some of them. Tender and, just then, very sensitive to his hot tongue flickering over them. My nipples stood erect, tiny monuments to our lust, begging for the touch he so generously delivered.
He kissed my mouth again, and his hand slipped down, then up inside the broom skirt I wore. I panted when his fingers slid inside my panties and touched me.
“Yes!” My toes curled and I bucked against him. I was ready for him to be inside me, but he’d keep going ‘til he got me over once. I rode with it, lost to all but hi
s kiss and his finger.
“Fuck me!” Cam exclaimed. But it wasn’t an invitation, it was an expletive. His hand jerked out of my panties and I thudded back into consciousness.
“Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap…” followed by a slamming door and crunching gravel told me the cause of his distress.
Cam rose and jerked the bedroom door shut, at the same time Shurre banged in the front.
“Hey A! Where ya at?”
“Hang on!” I yelled back. “Shit.” I fumbled with the clasp on my bra, ‘til Cam helped me. Time to get bigger bras. There was a benefit I’d forgotten about. He helped me button the blouse too, then took his time to kiss me.
“Sorry,” I told him. “I guess we did make it to third though, huh?”
He grinned and chucked my chin.
Shurre looked more than amused when we joined her in the living room. “Afternoon delight?”
“Great timing, Shurre,” I muttered.
“So nice to see you too, Darlin’,” she teased. “And CJ again. No wonder I keep coming by and finding the Ali-van, but no Ali. Just came by on my lunch break to say hey.”
“Everything okay, like at home?” I asked.
Shurre didn’t know that I’d told Cam her whole story. I doubted she’d like it much.
“Very good,” she answered with a smile.
“How’s your uncle?”
The smile stayed. “Starting chemo next week.” I guessed she meant the perv would be too sick to fool around, thus her joy.
“Well, um, we have some news,” I said.
“Tell me you did not run off and elope already, and deprive me of the opportunity to wear an ugly Maid of Honor dress.”
I grinned and answered, “Yeah, how many have I worn now for you? I’ll remember that comment when we’re picking out the next one for you to wear, bitch. I’m thinking something in salmon, to bring out the green in your skin. In a style that makes your ass look as wide as Garfield County.”