“Then what?”
“I wanted to surprise you—to show you how much I care about you.” He asked, “Are you so jaded that you can’t recognize when someone’s trying to be genuine with you?”
“I didn’t expect this.” She took a deep breath. “It’s just too much.”
He stared at her long and hard before responding, “Me telling you I care about you and want you in my life long term is too much? Unbelievable.”
“What do you want from me?” She lifted her hands in a frustrated plea.
“Do you really want to know?” Without waiting for a response, he succinctly spelled it out for her. “I want you to admit that what’s between us is not casual or temporary. I want us to start building a life together, and most of all, I want you to admit to yourself and to me exactly what I mean to you, Angela, and I’ll be happy to reciprocate.”
“Why do you have to complicate things?”
“Why do you have to cling to the delusion that we’re just casual friends?” he shot back tightly.
“Because we are.” She fidgeted under his intense stare. “Look, Cam, I told you from the get-go that I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship. I like my life the way it is, and I’m not going to apologize for wanting to keep it that way.”
There was a lot he could have said, a lot he wanted to say. Instead, he stood suddenly and placed his napkin on the table. “I’ll take you home.”
She opened her mouth to speak but quickly shut it again. He pulled back her chair, and she stood and walked toward the door. He fought the urge to topple the table over and followed her out instead.
This wasn’t the way he’d expected the evening to end. He had thought if he showed her how much she meant to him, how serious he was about her, she’d realize he was different from the men who had hurt her and reciprocate his feelings. She just wouldn’t let her guard down.
Dammit! He was beginning to wonder if he’d ever have what he wanted more than anything—Angela saying she was ready to share his life, forever.
* * *
Cam nodded as Derrick walked unannounced into his downtown law office for their weekly lunch date. He returned his attention to the electronic devices on his desk. He typed something on his laptop before picking up his phone when it vibrated, frowning at the screen.
“Don’t you ever relax?”
“I am relaxing.” Cam glanced up and grinned. “Give me a sec.” Cam turned his attention to his phone and sighed heavily. “This new client is so irritating.”
“You know you thrive on challenges.” Derrick laughed as he sat down.
“True.” Cam glanced at Derrick again before returning his attention to his computer. “But believe me, I have enough challenges in my personal life presently to keep me more than busy.”
“How are you?” Derrick asked, leaning forward in his chair.
“I’m good.” Cam set his phone down after reading a text message and started typing on his laptop again.
“You don’t look it.” Cam sighed at Derrick’s observation. “You look tense.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Cam glanced up briefly to smirk at him and then went back to typing.
“How are things with you and Angie?”
Derrick’s question caused a tightening of Cam’s shoulders and had his fingers hovering, unmoving over the keyboard.
“A little frustrating,” Cam eventually admitted, then closed his laptop and winced at the decisive click, which bore evidence to the force he had unintentionally exhibited.
“Really? You two looked so cozy at the barbecue. That was only a few days ago. What happened?”
“It’s not important.” Cam shook his head, took out a bottle of water from the minifridge behind his desk and tossed it to Derrick. “Forget it.”
“You really expect that to happen?” Cam smiled at Derrick’s determined expression. “Spit it out, Cameron.”
“I want Angela to stop pretending that we’re just friends,” Cam admitted with a loud sigh. “Satisfied?”
“And she won’t do that?”
“No.” Cam rubbed his neck. “I understand she’s gun-shy about relationships, I really do, but I thought by now she’d be ready to at least admit that I matter to her.”
“Because she matters to you?”
“Yeah.” Cam took a swig of his water. “I don’t know. Maybe she doesn’t feel the same.”
“I don’t believe that.” Derrick sat forward in his chair. “Anyone looking at the two of you together knows there’s something there.”
Cam reclined back in his chair. “I asked her to move in with me.”
“What?” Derrick’s eyes widened.
“You heard me.” Cam managed a chuckle at his friend’s shocked expression.
“Well, what happened?” Derrick prodded, and Cam’s half smile fell.
“She turned me down.”
“Damn. I’m sorry.” Derrick paused before offering, “Maybe she just needs a little time to get used to the idea.”
“What she needs is to stop being scared and take a chance on us,” Cam countered, frustration seeping from his pores.
“And she won’t?”
“No.” Cam sighed. “Her past has made her scared of entrusting her heart to someone, and as much as I try to convince her that we would be different from her past relationships, she just won’t believe it. Dammit, doesn’t that woman know that I...” A look of complete shock spread across Cam’s face.
“What’s wrong?” Derrick smiled broadly. “Just realizing that you’re in love with Angela?”
Cam blinked at his friend’s statement. “How do you know I’m in love with her?”
“I’m your best friend, and I saw it at her birthday party—the way you spoke about her, looked at her. It was written all over your face.”
“Yeah, then why doesn’t Angela see it?”
“Maybe she does,” Derrick suggested. “Maybe that’s what’s frightening her so much.” Cam’s brows furrowed as he contemplated Derrick’s observation.
“You think?”
“You’d know better than me, although you can be pretty dense sometimes.”
“Thanks.” Cam shot him a dirty look.
“Just stating a well-known fact, Counselor.” Derrick smiled at Cam’s scowl.
“Any other words of wisdom you’d care to impart?” Cam crossed his arms over his chest.
“Yes, keep trying to get through to your lady because we both know she’s the one for you.”
“I have been trying, Derrick,” Cam stated, frustration lacing his words. “I’m beginning to think I’m fighting a losing battle.”
“Bull!” Derrick’s smile disappeared, and he smacked his hand on Cam’s desk. “Try some more.”
“I’m tired, Derrick. I don’t know what else I can do.”
“Dammit, Cam, for one thing, you can stop feeling sorry for yourself!”
Cam’s eyes widened in surprise, and he sputtered, “I beg your pardon.”
“You heard me.” Derrick stood, placed both hands on Cam’s desk and continued in the same harsh tone. “You’ve never given up on anything in your life!”
“No, I haven’t, but—”
“Well, now is not the time to start—not when we’re talking about the woman you love!” He straightened, but continued his stern lecture. “Stop this pity party, pick yourself back up and go fight for her, no matter how much she frustrates you!”
“You’re such a hothead.” Cam laughed at his friend’s scowling face. “You’re also very bossy.”
“It comes in handy when dealing with you.” Derrick lowered his voice and smiled. “Not that I have to ask, but what do you want, Cam, really?”
“I want what you and Alesha have—though you two fought aga
inst it like crazy.”
Derrick grinned at Cam’s pointed reminder. “But if I remember, a nosy friend kept telling me we should give our marriage a try—make it real.”
Cam tilted his head to one side. “I wonder who that was.”
“As much as it pains me to admit this, you were right, and now I’m giving you the same advice—make things work with Angela. Don’t give up on her, because you know she’s the one.”
“She is it for me, but I can’t do it alone, buddy.”
“Anything worth having is worth fighting for.”
“My, you’ve gotten philosophical,” Cam snorted.
“And wiser. Now, are you going to fight for your lady, or do I have to kick your butt?”
“In your dreams.” Cam chuckled, then his eyes lit up with new determination. “Thanks for the pep talk, pal. I needed it.”
“Anytime.” Derrick seemed rather pleased with himself, and Cam couldn’t help grinning. “It’s nice to be able to give you unsolicited advice for once.”
“Don’t let it go to your head. I’m still the wiser one here.”
“If it makes you feel better to believe that, go ahead.” Derrick chuckled. “Come on, let’s go get some lunch.” Cam stood, and Derrick patted his back “By the way, you’re buying.”
“Still cheap, I see.” Cam shook his head at Derrick as they walked out of the office, chuckling.
Chapter 14
Angela sat across the table from Alesha and tried to pretend she was happy. She missed Cam. They hadn’t spoken or seen each other in a week. She felt lost without him.
“What’s wrong, Angie? You seem to be in a funk.”
“Nothing. I... Work has just been crazy lately.”
“Mmm, I’m sure it has been,” Alesha agreed. “But I don’t think that’s what’s bothering you.”
“Nothing’s bothering me.”
“Is it Cam? Are you unsettled by his feelings for you—or yours for him?” Bingo! Alesha hadn’t lost her intuitive touch. “Talk to me.”
“He wants more than I’m able to give.” Angela sighed heavily and admitted, “He asked me to move in with him.”
“That’s great.” Alesha studied her friend’s sad face and asked, “Isn’t it?”
“I like Cam,” Angela slowly said.
“But?” Alesha prompted.
“But I don’t know if I want the hassles that come along with trying to navigate a serious relationship.”
Alesha cocked a thoughtful eyebrow. “What have you two been doing if not building a relationship?”
“We’ve been having a good time.”
“That’s all?”
Angela fidgeted as Alesha treated her to a piercing stare. “Why does there have to be more?” She raked fingers through her hair in frustration. “We have a great time together. Why can’t we just keep things casual and avoid the messy complications that come with trying to bite off more than we can chew?”
“Do you really think keeping things as they are is going to satisfy Cam?” Alesha paused and pointedly added, “Or yourself?”
“I just don’t need or want any complications in my life right now. Plus, I don’t know if he can really handle the demands of my career.”
“Why do you say that?”
“He gets upset when the hospital calls and interrupts our plans.”
“That just means that he cares and wants to spend time with you.”
“I guess, but I’m not going to give up my career for him or any man.”
“Has he asked you to?”
“No,” she admitted.
“Then stop borrowing trouble,” Alesha suggested.
“It’s all moot anyway.” Angela sipped her coffee.
“Why?”
“Because I have no intention of moving in with him or letting him believe he controls me in any way,” Angela said stubbornly.
“I don’t think Cam wants to control you, and I think you know that,” Alesha replied. “Bottom line, you’re terrified of opening your heart to someone. It’s no secret that I think you two are great together, but if you really don’t see yourself with Cam long term, then tell him so. Cut him loose, let him go on with his life, and you go on with yours without him.”
Angela held back a gasp of shock at Alesha’s stern suggestion. That was the last thing she had expected her to say, but she was right, and Angela knew it. It wasn’t fair to Cam to keep him in limbo because she was afraid to fully commit to him.
She finally knew what she had to do. Why, then, instead of feeling relieved, did she feel sad and empty?
* * *
Angela’s eyes widened when she pulled into her driveway after work. Cam was leaning against his car waiting for her. She parked the car and took several deep breaths; she was a mass of nerves. Releasing her breath noisily, she slowly got out of her car and walked up to him.
“Hi.” She stared at him uneasily.
“Hey.” He gave her a half smile but made no move to touch her. “Can we talk?”
“Sure.” She motioned to the house, walked ahead of him and unlocked the door. They walked into the living room. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“No. You can sit down with me.” He held out a hand to her, which she slowly walked over and took, and they sat on the sofa. “Angela, I’ve tried to take things slowly with you, no pressure, just letting you get used to having me around.”
“I am used to that.” He squeezed her fingers and smiled at her soft admission.
“I know, and it scares you, doesn’t it?”
“Yes.” She took a deep breath, released it and said something completely unplanned. “I’ve spent so much time closing myself off to avoid being hurt again. It’s safer to be alone, and I’d gotten used to it, even liked it, but then you and I started dating and...now, I don’t know anymore. I think maybe...” Her voice trailed off, unsure of where she was going with this.
“Maybe what?”
“Honestly, I don’t know.” She shrugged helplessly.
“What do you want, Angela?” When she remained silent he continued, “Do you really want to stop seeing me? Because if you do, tell me so and I’ll walk away for good.” Her eyes grew big at his statement.
“You will?”
“Yes, if that’s what you want.” He stared into her eyes, and she couldn’t hide the truth from him if she wanted to. “Is it?”
“Cam...” She closed her eyes briefly, and when she opened her mouth again, the truth tumbled out. “No, I don’t want to stop seeing you, but I don’t know if I can give you what you want or need.” She sighed heavily. “And then there’s my career.”
“First of all, Angela, I’m not jealous of your career.” He held up a hand to stay her and continued, “Yes, there are going to be times when your job interferes with our plans, and my job will do the same. I won’t lie to you, I’ll hate those times, but I know we can make this work if we both want it enough—if we both try. Will you try?”
“I...” She stared at him helplessly, unsure how to respond.
“Babe, I know you’re wary of trusting a man again.” His voice was kind and understanding. “You’ve been hurt by some first-class idiots, but I will never hurt you like that.” He stared deeply into her confused, scared eyes. “We can have something terrific—something that only comes along once in a lifetime—if you take a chance on us.”
She shrugged, vulnerability present in her eyes. “What if I don’t know how?”
“It’s easy.” He gave her one of his signature smiles. “All you have to do is take a deep breath, hold on to my hand, and I promise I won’t ever let you fall again.”
“What if I let you fall?”
“I’m pretty resilient at picking myself up, dusting off and moving
forward,” he promised. “Ask anybody who knows me.” At her baffled expression, he asked gently, “What’s wrong?”
“Where’s the anger?”
He laughed out loud at her question and brought her hand to his lips before placing her palm against his cheek.
“When I refused to move in with you, I know you were hurt and annoyed.”
“I was disappointed. I haven’t called you because I was giving you some time to think while I planned my next move.”
“You can have any woman you want, Cam.” She searched his eyes and asked, “Why me?”
“Because you’re it for me, Angela,” he responded without missing a beat. “When I look at you, I see a beautiful, fantastic woman who makes me feel like I finally know why I was placed on this earth.” He tenderly touched her cheek. “You’re authentic, you don’t pretend to be flawlessly perfect and you have a heart too kind for this world. I have an amazing time with you, and when we’re apart, it’s like a piece of me is missing.” His words brought tears to her eyes. “I see everything in you.”
“Cam—”
“No, don’t say anything.” He brought her hand to his lips again. “We’ll finish this conversation when I get back.”
A frown marred her face at his unexpected words. “Back from where?”
“I have to go to Atlanta on business for a few days, maybe a week.”
“For your new client?”
“Yeah.” He sighed audibly as if he wasn’t too happy about the trip but was resigned to it nevertheless. “They need a little hand-holding from the boss.”
“Are you going to see your mom while you’re in town?”
“If I don’t at least stop by and say hi, she’ll have my head.” He chuckled, and she joined him.
“Say hello for me.”
“If I do, those matchmaking wheels in her head will really start turning—more than they are already,” he warned.
“Say hello for me anyway.”
He gave her one of his dimpled grins. “Now you’re giving me hope.”
“You already had hope.” She stared into his confident eyes and laughed when he winked at her. “When are you leaving?”
“Tonight—” He glanced at his watch. “In about three hours, actually. I just found out about it today.”
Take Me in Your Arms Page 17