by Tia Siren
“Feels amazing,” he agreed as he stepped forward and leaned down to brush his lips against mine. “Are you happy?”
“Pinch me. I think I’m dreaming.” I whispered as our lips met again. I suddenly resented the fact that I had to wait a few weeks before I could feel him inside me again. No matter what my body had gone through, I wanted Ryan as much as I ever had. I slipped my arms around his neck. Our kiss deepened as he gripped my hips, moaning into my mouth as he pulled me closer. I knew we couldn’t go too much further, but I slipped my hand over the bulge in his pants.
“Brea,” he groaned as I worked to loosen his jeans.
“I know what I can’t do. I also know what I can do,” I said, kissing him again and slipping his pants down to take him in my hand. I started to stroke him, feeling him rock into me as our tongues danced together slowly. “I can’t wait to feel you again.” I kissed him again as I tightened my hand and moved it, desire coursing through my body.
I pushed him back onto the bed and crawled carefully over him to take his cock into my mouth. Ryan gripped my hair as I sucked him. I longed to show him everything I was feeling inside. I wanted to show him my gratitude, but I stilled, not wanting to push my body too far.
I thought about the way he had looked at me in the hospital as I’d been in labor. He had looked worried and in awe of me as I’d delivered Elle, and he’d treated me like a queen afterward. He had watched over us nearly twenty-four hours a day, and I realized how surprised I was.
We had planned to have a baby together so he could get some money and start a new life. I was going to have a chance to rid myself of the debt that weighed me down. I never imagined a man like him ever being in my life. I also never imagined living in such a beautiful house on the beach. Even Elle was more than I could have prepared for.
He came in my mouth as I cried out, swallowing him. Ryan was making me so happy, and I planned to do the same for him any way that I could. We both heard the baby as I pulled away and rested my head on his sculpted stomach, breathing heavily.
“This is our reality now,” Ryan murmured, making us both laugh. I pushed back gently as I made my way to Elle’s room. Her still blue eyes were open, and she cried louder as I reached into the crib. I walked her over to the chair and looked over the trees as I opened my bra and settled her against my breast. There was something soothing about it as I smiled and looked around, feeling the warmth of the house. I glanced up and saw Ryan watching us with a smile on his face as he buttoned his jeans.
“You two look beautiful in this room,” he told me. “I think it’s amazing, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” I replied and smiled. A phone rang downstairs, and he pushed away from the door to go answer it. I stared outside at the bright sun and beautiful scenery. Elle ate well, and I burped her before changing her and heading downstairs to take it all in again. Ryan was looking in the fridge, and I tilted my head at him. “What’s up?”
“Lucy is coming over. Are you okay with that? I insisted on checking.” He looked at me for a long moment. I smiled and nodded.
“She said that Elle misses her. I figured I’d throw together some dinner since she stocked the fridge for us.” He shook his head, and I held Elle carefully as I walked in to look around. It was a large, updated kitchen with new stainless-steel appliances—perfect for someone who enjoyed cooking. Ryan pulled out some steaks and vegetables and glanced at us and smiled. “It’s our first dinner here.”
“Yes, it is,” I said. He smiled brightly.
“I’m going to fire up the new grill so we can eat outside. How does that sound?” I laughed as I stroked Elle’s back and listened to her coo at me.
“Is she coming alone?” I asked, making Ryan scowl. He still hadn’t spoken to Lewis and had kept our time with Lucy away from him, swearing that she needed to dump his sorry ass if she was still seeing him. I didn’t disagree, but I left Lucy alone since she was my best friend.
“Yes. I don’t want to deal with Lewis right now,” he grumbled as he stacked the food on the counter and pulled out two waters. He opened them and handed one to me, and I took a long sip.
“Thank you,” I told him as he walked over to a cupboard and pulled down olive oil and seasonings. I left him to his preparations and walked around the house, telling Elle all about our new home. I told her how we were going to spend time down at the beach, exploring and having fun. I promised she would always be happy and that when she wasn’t, we’d be here for her. I bounced her in front of the window and looked out at the water.
There was a knock at the door about an hour later as Ryan was prepping the grill. I walked over to get it with Elle still on my shoulder. When I opened it, I smiled at Lucy. “Surprise!”
“You are all amazing,” I told her as she hugged me gently and asked if she could hold Elle. I handed her over and walked out to see if Ryan needed any help. He placed the steaks on the hot grill and asked me to bring out the vegetables. He waved at Lucy, who was still inside, and I nodded, smiling at him happily.
“Thank you again,” I told him as I walked in to get the asparagus and zucchini that were marinating in a bag in the fridge as well as a plate and tongs. I offered Lucy a beer on my way out, and she walked over to take it with her free hand as I looked at my daughter lying on her shoulder.
We ate inside with the window open, and Lucy asked me what I thought about everything. Elle was sleeping in her downstairs bassinet as we enjoyed dinner.
“You did such an amazing job. I can’t think of anything I want to change, Lucy. You got us perfectly, and the setting of this place… I’m still in shock.” Tears filled my eyes again as I shook my head, and she leaned forward.
“Are you okay?” Lucy asked, touching my arm gently.
“Hormones. I started sobbing in the bathroom earlier,” I admitted weakly as Ryan sipped his water. He’d calmed down from earlier while cooking and talking to Lucy about the house. He was relaxed and laughing with her like they usually did. I watched them, sipping my water.
“How long does that last?” she asked. I shrugged. Lucy never expressed any interest in having kids, and I admitted that I hadn’t before Ryan, either.
“I don’t know. The doctor told Ryan to call if I get depressed or anything like that, and I know he’s keeping a close eye on me.” I smiled at her weakly. “I feel fine, though. Just emotional. This was a real shock.” She giggled.
“Elle came a lot earlier than expected. I went into action right when that happened. I was surprised that Uncle Mike was so easy to work with, Ryan. He’s changed so much. I’m happy for you.”
“Me too. It was ugly for a while,” Ryan said, smiling at me.
Elle woke up to eat, and I went over to the couch to feed her as they kept talking. Lucy was trying to plan our housewarming, and I listened as I stroked my daughter’s hair and closed my eyes. I was still tired from broken sleep at the hospital and knew it wasn’t going to end anytime soon. Newborns weren’t known to sleep well for the first few months. I must have drifted off, because I woke up a little while later with a blanket over me and the baby in her bassinet. Lucy was sitting on the balcony with Ryan, and I blinked as I rubbed my eyes.
Having a baby had kicked my ass. I was willing to admit that, but I was so happy as I looked around the living room. I felt like I had everything but Ryan as I leaned back and took a deep breath.
We lived here together and we were parents. I knew that. I knew I was falling for him, if not already in love with him. How could I not be with all he had done for our daughter? I rose and checked on her before going to get some water and sipping it in the kitchen as I looked around again.
When would this feel like home to me?
Ryan and Lucy both came in after talking for a while, and Lucy picked up Elle when she started to fuss. She held her until I needed to feed her and then gave her back as Ryan joined me on the couch.
“Tired?” he asked softly. I smiled at him.
“I think I’m going to be tired for a wh
ile. I’m happy. That’s what matters,” I assured him. He nodded and covered my hand with his. We walked Lucy to the door and got the house locked up before putting Elle to bed in her bassinet. I fell against the pillows in the master bedroom, completely exhausted from the day.
CHAPTER 21
Ryan
The alarm went off, and I reached out blindly to hit snooze. I could feel Brea beside me, breathing heavily on her side as she slept hard.
Newborns didn’t sleep. I knew that now. We were roused from a light sleep at least every two hours. Brea asked me to bring the bassinet right against the bed so she could put Elle down as soon as she fell asleep, but that never lasted. Brea finally piled up pillows and rested Elle on her chest so she couldn’t move and they both slept that way. I made sure she wouldn’t move before sliding a hand over Elle’s back to feel her there.
I was going into New York today to present the idea I’d been working so hard on. With my mother being in rehab and Brea’s father having his own issues, I’d gone ahead with an alcohol treatment center that was much more than just a glorified spa. I appreciated that my mom was in a good place to get help, but it felt so far away from our family. We could visit, but it was always a rushed couple of hours. It was awkward, as it would be in a hospital room no matter what the scenery, and I wanted to make something with a warmer environment.
My idea was a treatment center on the outskirts of New York City that offered as much support for the family as for the patients. I wanted to offer support and therapy to them during the harder times of recovery. I wanted to offer rooms where family members could stay a night or two once the doctors were comfortable with the idea.
I knew that for my family, one of the hardest parts of rehab was being separated. Mom often felt scared and alone, and I prayed that this new one stuck given that it was the same set of circumstances. We were there as much as we could be, but I spent little time with her since the baby had arrived early.
I kissed Brea and Elle good-bye as I grabbed my coffee and left to make the drive. I was painfully tired as I sipped my drink, feeling like there wasn’t enough caffeine in the world for me. Judging by the circles under Brea’s eyes, she felt the same way, and she was nourishing our daughter with her body and energy on top of losing sleep.
I longed to do more for her, but today I needed to talk to investors to get things moving. I needed a good amount of money since this was going to be a state-of-the-art, spacious place. I wanted to not have any financial limits if possible. I’d had a friend help me put together a Power Point presentation to show them every goal outlined in detail. I was dressed in one of my best suits and hoped for success as I left Greenwich and headed into the city, already missing home.
I parked in the garage near the office of the family lawyer, who had offered me his conference room for the meeting. We walked together into the room where he showed me the equipment and told me how to use it before the caterer brought in a tray of pastries, bagels, and coffee.
I paced by the window as I waited for the investors and sent a text to Brea to see how things were going. She said Elle was sleeping and that she was stretched out on the couch, attempting to doze. I told her I would call her later and shoved the phone in my pocket after silencing it.
The men started to make their way in. I greeted them with handshakes and a confident smile. I gestured to the coffee and breakfast offerings as they took their seats. I went to the head of the table, mentally preparing myself.
I started with a detailed explanation of my idea, separating it from every other recovery facility I’d ever seen in my life. I highlighted the amenities for the patients before going into what I wanted to offer for their families. I broke down my ideas for support and therapy and the chance to stay a weekend with their loved ones during the process. The families would have as much interaction with the staff as the patient did so that they could be aware of every step of their loved one’s recovery. I wanted open and honest communication at this facility.
I wanted everything my mother and other alcoholics hadn’t gotten yet.
My part of the presentation lasted an hour. Everyone sipped coffee and took notes on paper and phones. I thanked them for coming, leaving the structure on the screen as they talked among themselves. I knew from dealing with people through the bank that they were impressed. I poured another cup of coffee and allowed the level of my exhaustion to settle in for a minute.
Half an hour later, I was collecting checks from the men and the lawyer was handing out the contracts, breaking down their involvement and return investment as I shook hands and thanked them for their funding.
Once we were alone, I went with Dean to his private office as his receptionist told the staff to enjoy the remaining pastries. He took the checks, and we figured out that we had everything I had asked for and more. I had a goal of opening in six months from now. Dean and I got a plan going and I did some research on contractors.
I saw that my father was calling me and excused myself to take the call. I remembered the days when I avoided his calls for fear of a fight.
“Hey, Dad,” I greeted him cheerfully as I walked around the office. “I got the money I need for the center this morning.”
“That’s great, Son,” Dad told me, and I grinned. “How’s the baby?”
“She’s keeping us both up. These first few weeks are rough,” I admitted. He remained quiet on the other end. “At least we’re in the house and she’s getting some good scenery, right?” I asked jokingly as I ran a hand through my perfectly messy hair.
“That they are. Let anyone know if you need anything at all,” he said, and I thanked him. “I called to let you know that the money is set up in both of your accounts at the amounts you asked for. I took the liberty of paying off Brea’s loans so she can relax and be a mom to that wonderful baby of yours.” Warmth rush through me, not having expected that of him. The money in her account was generous enough with Brea paying the school loans, but without doing that, she could truly relax.
“Thank you, Dad. I appreciate that.” It was true. We could move forward with our lives now, and I smiled as we chatted a little longer. I couldn’t wait to tell Brea what he’d done as I turned back to Dean to finish business.
It took longer than expected. I felt oddly excited to go home and see Brea and Elle. I beamed as Dean asked me how the baby was doing. I think I felt more joy discussing them than work, but I assured myself that it was just different as opposed to more.
He offered to take the checks to the bank for me so I could get home, but I told him I’d do it myself. It was just a block away. I shook his hand again, thanking him for his help. I couldn’t have done this without him. Then I took the elevator down to the lobby.
The city was loud. That was my first thought as I walked out onto the crowded street. I blended in with the people, hoping nobody would recognize me as I walked along. I’d been low-key as of late and enjoyed it. I didn’t want to share anything about Brea and Elle. I got to the bank and walked inside. A teller looked up, recognition crossing her face.
I got in line and waited as other people looked around when she started talking to her colleagues. I wanted to tell her to shut the fuck up, but it was too late. My phone buzzed and I glanced down at the screen to see a picture of Elle that Brea had sent me. She was wide awake and damn near smiling, making my heart fill with warmth.
“Mr. Hall?” someone called out, and I almost groaned.
I walked toward the original teller, and she looked at me as if I was going to ask her out or something. I told her what I was here for and slid her the envelope of checks. I wished I’d opted for the electronic version of this. She reacted to the large amount and asked what my new business venture was. I looked at her quietly.
“It’s still in the works,” I replied, not wanting to even hint about the treatment center with my mother away in one. That was still out of the news and we all preferred to keep it that way.
I escaped without her finding anyth
ing out, but not before her heavy flirting began. She was a pretty girl and that sort of thing used to tempt me, but now I just wanted to be home. I grabbed some of Brea’s favorite pastries on the way out and left the city behind with relief. I used to thrive on the constant buzz of this city. I knew all it had to offer me. Looking back, most of that stuff was empty now. The women and the parties hadn’t done a damn thing for me in the end.
Getting home to Brea and Elle was more fulfilling than anything else. I knew I felt chaotic and irritable due to a lack of sleep. I just wanted to be home, surrounded by trees and the ocean, holding my daughter and giving Brea a break. She was going to push herself because that was who she was, and I wouldn’t allow it. She deserved better.
I spoke to some contractors on the drive, surprised by how fast they called back. After making mental notes as I spoke to each of them, I knew who I was going to go with. I would text Dean when I arrived home and tell him to draw up the contracts. I needed professionals who knew what they were doing. This had to be perfect. With the amount of money I’d just been handed, there was no room for failure. I wanted people to get support and help the first time around to avoid further pain. I wanted to bring families closer together through the recovery process.