A lump rose in her throat with the truth. He sat back on his heels and placed his palms on his thighs. His riveting gaze willed her to break through her fears and meet him halfway. Did he know how scared she was? How much she hated being scared? Could he see it? Feel it? She’d gone forever refusing to acknowledge fear, but Jake brought it to the forefront, like other emotions she’d long ago buried, and he refused to let her hide behind them.
“You make me feel, too,” she admitted. “And that terrifies me.”
JAKE LET OUT a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. She was scared. Well, join the fucking club.
“Don’t look so relieved,” she said sharply. “It’s not like I’m going to give in to your cavemanlike demands just because I admitted that what I’m feeling scares me.”
He laughed because she was so…Addy.
She scowled. “I reveal something like that to you and you laugh at me? I think I liked this better when we were trying to ignore the desire to rip each other’s clothes off.”
He pulled her toward him. When she resisted, he tugged harder, purposely tumbling backward and bringing her down on top of him. He wrapped her in his arms and rolled her onto her back, trapping her beneath him.
Her scowl twitched as she stifled a smile. “You’re so…”
He felt that cocky grin she teased him about spreading across his face. “Hot? Hard? Relentless? I’ll take all three, thank you very much.”
“Frustrating.” Laughter broke through her steely resolve.
He pressed his hips against her sweet, soft body. “I can ease that tension for you.”
She laughed again.
“I love your laugh, sexy girl.”
“You don’t love anything, except maybe sex.”
“I do love sex, and sex with you is beyond incredible, but your laugh? I hear it when you’re not even around.”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t use silly lines on me. I’d much rather you say what you meant. You’re glad I’m past my rant so you can get down and dirty with me.”
“I’m glad you’re past your rant, yes. And I do want to get down and dirty with you.” He reached beneath her and grabbed her ass. “And I love your ass.” Her smile widened and he kissed her neck, earning a giggle that made him want to hear more of it. “I cannot wait to feel your plump, sexy lips around my cock again.” He slicked his tongue over her mouth and she leaned up, but he drew away.
She grabbed his shirt and yanked him back down. “If I were a guy, I’d call you a cock tease.”
“Would you?” He pushed his hand beneath her dress, loving that they could still play this game even though everything had changed, and stopped at the feel of lace on his fingertips. “I do love you in lace.”
He kissed her softly, but she grabbed his head, deepening the kiss. He fought to ignore the seductive grinding of her hips. He’d messed up once today when he’d wanted to treat her right, even if she’d seemed to enjoy it as much as he had, and he wasn’t about to mess up again. He needed her to know she was more than a good fuck. Hell, the word fuck felt wrong as it rumbled around in his mind.
Dominating was what he did best. Easing off? Not so much. But he forced himself to do just that. Telling himself he’d make it up to her later, he removed his hand from her thigh and pushed up on his palms. Her eyes brimmed with desire, tempting him to the edge of reason. Struggling to do the right thing, he said, “But I’m not taking you here, and I don’t use lines. I fucking love your laugh. Deal with it.” He pushed up to a sitting position, the air between them sparking so hot he was sure the dune grass would ignite.
“Fine,” she snapped. The underlying breathiness of her response told him it was sexual frustration driving it, not anger. “You like my laugh.”
He rose to his feet, bringing her up beside him, and he noticed glittery ink on her wrist. “Bride Tribe?” He remembered the pen she was holding and withdrew it from his pocket. She cocked her head to the side, watching him curiously as he uncapped it and turned her wrist over, scrawling Taken over the other words.
“Possessive much?”
“Only as much as you’ll allow.” He shoved the pen in his pocket, watching her brush sand from her legs. He turned her by the shoulders so she was facing away from him, and moved her hand. “I’ve got you. Get used to it. Pretend it’s your idea if that helps.” He brushed the sand from the backs of her legs, and when he brushed it from her ass, she wiggled her butt.
“Having a hard time?” she teased.
“Christ.” He smacked her ass.
“Hey!” She spun around with a fierce and seductive look in her eyes, and he dragged her across the rocks again. “Where are you taking me?”
“Right here if you’re not careful.” He draped an arm over her shoulder, tugging her against his side so hard she squeaked, and her hand flew to his stomach. Her fingers slid off and he put them back, flattening them against his abs. “This is what you do when you’re a thing.”
“I never said we were a th—”
He silenced her with a hard kiss. She leaned against him, her hands circling his neck, yielding to his demand. He didn’t know what the hell was in her Pandora’s box, but he was pretty sure it had nothing on the typhoon of emotions she’d released in him.
He pushed abruptly from the kiss.
“What?” She smiled as innocently as a tigress licking its chops, and he led her down the beach. “Where are we going?”
“For a walk before I decide that treating you like a lady blows and bend you over one of these boulders.”
Chapter Ten
A LONG WHILE after Addy and Jake set out for their cool-down walk along the shore, her hormones had calmed, and she was enjoying listening to stories about his childhood. He’d told her about trips to the beach with his family, how his father had taught him and his siblings about preparedness and how to live off the land. That was another thing she really admired about Jake and his family. It was no secret that Jake and his siblings had inherited family money. She wondered how they’d all turned out so down-to-earth. The more they talked, the clearer the answers became. Their parents had pushed them to better themselves and pursue their dreams and given them the knowledge and tools to survive on more than money and circumstance. He’d endured broken bones, failed projects, and had to fight his way through figuring out his problems.
“My father used to tell us, if we wanted something bad enough, we wouldn’t stop until we had it. If we didn’t, then…” He shrugged.
“That explains a lot.”
“Whatever, Addy. Yes, I wanted you. Yes, I pursued you. You can be sarcastic, but at least I own my feelings.”
That stung, and her thoughts stumbled, but he was right. “I’m sorry. Please tell me more. I like to hear about you and your brothers.”
“What was your childhood like?”
“Totally boring compared to yours. Private schools, traveling with private tutors when my father had to attend fashion shows. Pretty dresses, fancy dinners, and absolutely no pushing from my parents about anything other than primping and etiquette.” She leaned her head against his arm as they walked. “Tell me more, please. It’s nice to get a feel for how you became the person you are.”
“What do you want to know?”
“I don’t know. Who did you explore the world with when you were younger?”
“Anyone who would go,” he said with a smile. “Cash and I spent one whole summer honing our tracking skills. We stayed out in the woods from dawn to dusk. I was only seven or eight, but we considered ourselves mountain men. We had skills to perfect and animals to track.”
He lowered his voice an octave as he said the last two sentences, and Addy laughed. “Do you want to bang your chest now?”
He pulled her tighter against him. “Ha-ha. And yeah, maybe I do. So what?”
“So, it’s cute.” It was cute, but she understood the need to prove himself. She’d spent many hours poring over his pictures on social media, and besides getting a good sense of who Jake wa
s, she’d realized how little she’d pushed herself outside of her comfort zone. That had been the impetus for her upcoming camping trip.
“Yeah? Well, don’t say that in front of my brothers. I’ll never live down being cute.”
“Making a mental note—say ‘cute’ often around Jake’s brothers.”
He grabbed her ribs and she shrieked and bolted ahead. In seconds she was in his arms, being twirled like one of those ridiculous couples on a Hallmark card. Only she didn’t feel ridiculous at all. She felt happy, though still unsure about how to navigate this new territory. When he set her on her feet, she smiled up at him.
“Still scared?” he asked.
“Shitless.” She grabbed the waist of his shorts and stepped forward, surprised she admitted that so readily to him. But something had changed during their walk. He wasn’t pushing her to talk about why she was scared or trying to fix it for her. As minuscule as that might sound, to Addy they were the most important things he could have done. And in doing so, Jake had unknowingly torn a fissure in the protective armor she kept around herself. It felt good not to be trying to seduce him or fight his seduction. It felt right, and nice, to allow herself to enjoy him without secondary motives or worries about what it all meant.
He took her hand and they walked in silence. After a few minutes he said, “I get it. Being scared shitless, I mean.”
“Are you still scared?” She looked away, realizing his answer mattered more than she’d anticipated.
“Only that you’ll go away and I won’t have done all I could have to convince you we’re right together.”
“Jake…” She paused, swallowing a multitude of knee-jerk responses that came so easily. He deserved more than that.
Before she could get another word out he said, “Tell me about your trip. Why are you so dead set on trekking through the Silver Mountains alone?”
“Why not?” So much for refraining from flippant responses.
His deadpan stare was well deserved. He’d been blatantly honest with her and deserved to hear the truth. Her legs stopped moving, refusing to carry her as she tried to muster the courage to reveal such a big part of herself. She drew in a lungful of air, along with whatever strength of his she could borrow, and said, “I’m not sure.”
“Come on, Addy. I thought we were past toying with each other.”
“It’s the truth,” she said evenly, although her insides were weaving themselves into knots.
“You’re not sure? Then why insist on doing it alone? Let me come with you to—”
“No,” she interrupted. “I’m definitely doing this alone. I have to, and I have big plans to clear my head and see what I’m really made of. I’m going to set up camp at Riser’s Ridge, hike five to six miles in a different direction each day to see as much as I possibly can, and spend one night on Pirate’s Peak.”
He exhaled loudly. “You’re climbing Pirate’s Peak alone?”
“I sure am. People do it all the time. I’m sorry, but this is something I need to do on my own.”
“Why ten days alone on a mountain? It’s dangerous.”
“You’re going to think my reasons are stupid, but I’ll tell you anyway, because I don’t think they’re stupid. First of all, I’m going for ten days because that’s how long it’ll take to see all the places I want to explore. And what would I be proving to myself if I went for two or three days? That’s nothing. Anyone could do that. Besides, you’re the inspiration behind the trip. You should think it’s a good thing.”
“Oh no, don’t you blame me for this.”
“Chill out, okay? Not you specifically. When Gabby met Duke, I was doing some research on him and his business. You know, to see what Gabby was up against, and I saw all those pictures of everything you’d accomplished and the places you’d been on your Facebook page—”
“My Facebook page?”
“Duke didn’t have one. It was research. Don’t get so hung up on that. It’s not like I even knew you existed at that point, but…then I did, so I lingered.” She’d been immediately taken with his rugged good looks. The deeper she dug—okay, snooped—the more appealing she’d found him. Her favorite picture was of Jake and his mother standing on a grassy lawn. His hands hung loosely by his sides, his head slightly bent, a small smile on his face, and his mother’s hand was resting on his cheek. It was as if he were caught in the most unguarded, meaningful moment. Addy had spent endless nights wondering about the man behind the image, who relinquished his rugged facade for the woman who had brought him into the world. And when she finally met him, she couldn’t reconcile that tender image with the über-alpha, slick-talking player. Now, after catching glimpses of his softer side, she found herself thinking of that picture once again.
“Uh-huh,” he said. “And how long were you on my page?”
“I don’t know.” There was no way she’d tell him she was on there half the day. He had a lot of half-naked pictures in all sorts of interesting places, like mountains and forests, which she’d studied, feeding her late-night-fantasies mental camera roll until it was nice and plump for cold winter nights. But her search had also turned up something she’d never anticipated.
“Looking at your pictures made me realize that I haven’t pushed myself to do anything out of my comfort zone since college. Sure, I refused my parents’ money and built a life for myself, but it’s a comfortable life. While I was traveling in first class to international fashion shows, pampered to the hilt, you were roughing it in the heart of nature. I wanted to experience that so badly I could taste it. I’ve never even gone camping.”
“We’ll get back to the Facebook stalking thing, but you’ve never camped and you’re going to spend time alone in the mountains?” An incredulous laugh escaped. “That puts a new spin on things. Are you out of your mind? It’s iffy for an experienced person to go hiking alone in the mountains for a long stretch of time, but an inexperienced hiker? That’s dangerous, Addy. I wish you’d rethink this.”
“Says the man who puts his life on the line with every unfamiliar terrain when you do search and rescue.” She gazed down the beach at the lights of the resort shining against the evening sky. So much had changed over the past two days. For months she’d fought the urge to give in to the heat between them, and now that they’d crossed that bridge, they were crossing another. How did they get to the point where he felt like he was allowed to question her decisions? And why did she want to explain them instead of telling him it was none of his business?
She’d thought they had only one thing in common: the desire for hot, aggressive sex. But it didn’t end there. Not even close. He was just as stubborn as she was. When she met his gaze, frustration and desire stared back at her, and it was the combination of the two that stopped her in her tracks.
He reached for her hand. She needed space to give him the honesty he deserved, but she inhaled an unsteady breath, focusing on the tingling in her chest, the way his hand swallowed hers, and how much she liked those things, rather than focusing on the vulnerability swimming inside her.
He tightened his grip and must have thought better of it, because he dropped her hand and moved closer, putting a possessive—protective?—arm around her shoulder. And God, that felt even better than holding his hand. How did he know exactly what she needed to get through this conversation, when it was the absolute opposite of what she thought she needed?
He didn’t say a word, letting the silence settle in the sounds of the waves breaking against the shore, and pressed a kiss to the side of her head, unraveling the knots inside her.
Addy mentally picked apart all the reasons she wanted to take the solo trip in the mountains and decided the only way to explain it was to start at the beginning, which meant revealing a part of herself she’d only partially shared with Gabriella. Drawing every ounce of courage she could muster, she said, “You know how you have all those great memories of exploring and fishing and learning cool things with your family?”
“Sure.”<
br />
“All those rites of childhood that you enjoyed were things I was sheltered from. My parents adore me—don’t get me wrong. I’m not a broken, unloved girl who rebels as a way to get attention. I’m the girl who was loved and cherished like a fine diamond, when all I wanted was to be allowed to get dulled and scratched and chipped up by life.”
“It’s not that uncommon for parents as well off as yours to protect the kids, is it?” he asked. “I mean, look at Paris Hilton.”
“You did not just compare me to Paris Hilton.”
He laughed, squeezing her a little tighter. “Not you. Just the idea of being pampered by well-to-do parents.”
She weighed that answer and smiled. “Okay, you can live.”
Leaning down with a devilish grin on his handsome face, he cupped the nape of her neck and kissed her. He tasted so good, felt so right, she turned to him, giving herself over to the slow, scrumptious kiss. He kissed her as he never had before, with a tenderness and possessiveness that melted her heart.
“I know you’re not a pampered princess.” He looked at her with such genuine affection, she had the urge to crawl beneath his skin and pour out her soul. Those feelings might be new, but they were becoming more familiar by the second, and any doubts she’d had about whether they were real or imagined drifted away like smoke in the wind.
“Thank you.”
He looked at her for a long, silent moment before pulling back. She had the sense that he was giving her space to recover from the heat simmering between them. She was surprised by how much she appreciated the gesture, no matter how much she disliked the space between them.
As if he sensed her displeasure with his gentlemanly move, he crushed her against his side again, gave her a chaste kiss, and began walking. Recovering from Jake’s inherent knowledge of what she needed wasn’t as immediate as she’d hoped. The emotions were too powerful to simply push aside. No wonder Gabriella fell so fast for Duke. It was as exhilarating as it was frightening, and trying to make sense of it without her entire world catching fire was like walking through a minefield.
Rescued by Love (Love in Bloom: The Ryders): Jake Ryder Page 11