“Then let me go with you. At least for the first day.”
She shook her head, and Jake’s stomach plummeted.
“I don’t blame you for being mad, especially since things have changed so much between us. I honestly have no idea how I’ll make it through the next ten days without arguing with you.” She smiled and touched his cheek. She was his kryptonite. “Or kissing you, or being in your arms. But even with all those wonderful new feelings, nothing has changed with regard to my trip. I’m sure it sounds selfish, and I don’t mean to make you worry, but I need to do this alone. I have a plan. A goal. And I have been up front and honest about it the whole time. I need to follow through with my plans or I’ll never forgive myself, and I’ll probably blame you for it.”
Clenching his jaw, he pulled her against him. “You are a roaring pain in the ass.”
She laughed. “We’ve already established that. What else ya got? And don’t even think about going all Neanderthal on my ass and traipsing after me, because that’s one sure way to piss me off.”
He glared at her.
She pressed her lips to the center of his chest, palms flat against his pecs. Those delicate hands belonged there. He was going to miss her touch, her voice, her sassy backtalk. When she lifted her eyes again they were suspiciously glassy, and hell if his gut didn’t wrench again.
“I’ll tell you what,” she said. “I’ll text you tonight and let you know I found a safe spot to camp.”
He nodded, knowing he had to take whatever she’d give, even if it was nowhere near enough.
“Every night,” he said more sternly than he meant to. She went silent, and he knew he’d pushed her too far. “Fine. Jesus, Addy. Do you even realize what you’re going to put me through?”
“Yes, because I’m going through it, too.”
“Are you?” His voice rose despite his trying to remain calm. Fisting his hands to channel his frustration elsewhere, he paced.
“That’s a jerky thing to say.” She turned away, looking impossibly small and delicate against the backdrop of towering trees and mountainous terrain.
All he wanted to do was keep her safe, but he heard in her voice the hurt he’d caused. She reached for her pack, which they’d also argued about because it was too heavy for her. He grabbed it before she could. The damn thing weighed nearly a third of what she did, but true to her stubborn nature, she insisted she was fine.
He held it up for her to slip her arms through. “I’m sorry for being a prick, but I care about you, Addy.”
Instead of putting her arms through the straps, she wound them around his waist and hugged him so tight he could feel her body trembling, and he choked up.
“I’m sorry, sexy girl.” This was hard for her, too. He’d been so frustrated he’d missed that she was also scared. As hard as it was not to use that to his advantage, he knew he had to build her up, because if she worried, she’d be less ready if she ran into trouble. “I know you’re capable of anything you set your beautiful mind to.”
She nodded and held him tighter, chipping away at his frustration and redirecting it at himself. He framed her face in his hands and gazed into her eyes. “You can do this. Just promise me you’ll be extra careful. Think, plan ahead, and you know”—he knew better than to say he’d come running if she had any trouble—“there’s no shame in cutting the trip short if you get bored.”
She wound her arms around his neck. “Kiss me, Jake. Please just kiss me, toss that pack on my back, and drive away. Meet me back here in ten days with a smile on your face, a steel rod in your pants, and a foot rub at the ready.”
How could he argue with that? He kissed her deeply, and then he kissed her again and again, until they were both so stirred up she pushed him away. He helped her with the mammoth-sized pack, and he hoped to hell she’d brought the right foods to eat, enough to drink, and the good sense to come down the fucking mountain early and back into his arms where she belonged.
Chapter Nineteen
ADDY FELT LIKE she had a five-hundred-pound gorilla on her back as she trudged up the mountain. The pack was digging into the back of her hips, and the shoulder straps made her shirt grind like sandpaper against her skin. Jake had warned her that the pack was too heavy, but what was she supposed to do? Jake had said she didn’t need the small hand shovel she’d packed. You’re in the woods. You can use a rock. But she’d scoured a girls’ camping forum and she’d learned all about water-purifying tablets, biodegradable toilet paper, and burying her poop, which she wasn’t looking forward to. But hey, if she was going to rough it, she was going to do it all the way. Almost. She needed the damn shovel.
The first leg of her adventure was a straight eight-mile shot up the mountain to Riser’s Ridge. There was a stream nearby for water, and it was off the trails, so she shouldn’t be bothered by other hikers. It looked like such a short distance on the map, and nowhere near as steep of a climb as it actually was. She grabbed hold of a tree, using it for leverage to propel her up the mountain. The rough bark scratched her hand, but she’d get used to that, too. She stopped, huffing for air, and slid the pack from her shoulders, rolling them back to ease the pain. She’d envisioned being embraced by a euphoric feeling as she hiked up the mountain taking in the beauty around her. But all she could think about was the ache inside her chest that had nothing to do with the grueling climb.
She dragged the pack along the ground and continued climbing. She had to be nearly there. She’d been walking forever. As she reached for another tree, snagging her finger on a sharp piece of bark, she wondered what the hell she was doing climbing this big-ass mountain when she could be sprawled across Jake’s naked body.
She couldn’t allow herself to go down that path. Not on day one of the hike she’d been looking forward to for months. Her pack got caught on a rock, and she heaved it back onto her shoulders, pushing thoughts of Jake aside. Again. When they lingered like sunburn, she buried them deeper and pushed on.
After several hours her legs felt like rubber, her feet were sore, and her heart hammered out its complaints. She was tempted to stop and rest, but she wasn’t sure she’d have the energy to get back up once she sat down. Maybe she should have started an exercise program before setting out for this trip, as Gabriella had suggested a number of times over the preceding months. But Addy hadn’t expected it to be this hard. Just as the grayish hue of evening began to close in on her, she saw a break in the trees and her pulse sped up. Clinging to the shoulder straps of her pack, she upped her pace, forcing her noodle legs to carry her up the last fifty feet to the clearing. She stepped through the line of trees and into a rocky area. Exhaling loudly, she was struck by the magnificent view of rolling hills in every direction.
She peeled her pack from her shoulders, dropping it to the dirt with a thud. A cloud of dust billowed up at her feet as she gazed out at the sweeping views of trees and mountains. Inhaling a lungful of crisp air, she laughed, unable to believe she’d done it. Just over twenty-four hours ago she thought the view of the ocean was one of the most spectacular she’d ever seen. But this was even more incredible. Glorious mountains kissed the sky as far as she could see, fading to blue in the distance, then to a ghostly shade of gray. She’d been all over the world with her parents, and she’d never seen anything so amazing in all her life. And I got here all by myself. She felt silly taking pride in having hiked for only a day. But she was proud. She didn’t quit when it got hard. She didn’t give in to the ache of missing Jake and head back to his open arms. No, the girl who was born into a world of celebrity, diamonds, furs, mansions, and private jets had put on her fifty-dollar hiking boots and trekked up a mountain all by herself, hauling a boatload of supplies.
She’d done it.
And this was just the beginning. Ten days of exploring lay ahead of her.
She crouched to dig her phone from her pack, feeling the strain on every muscle as she waited for it to power on and guzzled some water. She’d been so determined to prove she could spe
nd ten days in the mountains, with a secondary goal of getting Jake out of her head. Now the time alone was within her reach, and forgetting the man who made her feel more than she ever imagined was no longer even on her radar. Her phone vibrated with incoming texts she’d missed when it was off. Two from Jake and one from Gabriella, which was surprising since she was on her honeymoon. She read Gabriella’s first, wanting to savor Jake’s.
“Whoa,” she whispered to herself, wondering when she had turned into one of those girls.
Shaking off that thought, she read Gabriella’s text. Did you go? Are you okay? Is Jake with you?
Addy stood with her back to the gorgeous view and held up her phone, smiling as she took a selfie. Then she took another, blowing a kiss to the camera.
She sent a quick text to Gabriella with the first picture. I’m here! Riser’s Ridge is beautiful and Jake isn’t here. But…are you ready? I miss him like crazy! Who would’ve thought?? Enjoy your honeymoon, MRS. RYDER! Love and hugs, your mountaineering assistant (Can you believe it!?!?!?).
Addy opened Jake’s text and was surprised to find a selfie. He was sitting in the driver’s seat of his SUV beside a piece of cardboard, on which he’d written You should be here. He was holding the phone out with one hand and pointing to the seat beside him, his expression dead serious. She read the text bubble. I’m saving a seat for my sweet pain-in-the-ass girlfriend. I’m proud of you. Be safe, sexy girl. I miss you already. Yeah, I admitted it. What have you done to me?
Emotions bloomed in her chest again. She read it three times before responding, imagining his tight jaw after he typed that he missed her, and the struggle he must have felt when he’d written the last line. She had no idea how it happened, but all those months of wanting coalesced, and she felt herself tumbling down a slippery slope with three terrifying words at the bottom.
She scrolled to the picture of her blowing a kiss. Her hair was tousled, a few strands blowing against her cheek. She had a streak of dirt on her chin, and her shirt had fingerprints at her waist. She glanced at her hand, finding the source, and wiped the dirt on her pants before typing a response to send with the picture.
Look at your kick-ass girlfriend. No major catastrophes yet! I’m at Riser’s Ridge, and I’m going to set up camp and write in my beautiful new journal. I miss you, too, so whatever I’ve done to you you’ve done right back. Wish I could kiss you right now.
Adding a few heart emoticons to the text, she sent it off and clutched the phone to her chest. She’d known this trip would be one of the most difficult things she’d ever set out to accomplish, but that was before she’d begun falling for Jake. Getting out from under her parents’ thumbs had been stressful, mostly because she knew she was hurting them by doing so, but even at eighteen she’d known she wasn’t made to live a life where someone else handled her affairs, or where she was expected to fit into a mold of any type. College and her professional life had taken hard work and the drive to succeed, both of which she controlled. But ten days without Jake would tax parts of her she had no control over. She barely knew what her heart needed, much less how to handle it when it longed to be with him. This would be the most difficult thing she’d ever set out to do. And if today’s aches were any indication, she was in for a painful few weeks.
But she would get through this, and she knew she’d be stronger for it.
Her phone vibrated and her pulse kicked up again. Gabriella. She opened the text, fighting a wave of disappointment, and couldn’t help but smile at the picture of her bestie and her new husband, their cheeks pressed together with wide smiles that reached all the way up to their eyes. She couldn’t even be envious, because she could have had that with Jake. He could be with her right now, getting ready to share another hot and sexy night under the stars.
Oh shit. The sun was setting and she still had to set up camp.
She typed another quick text to Jake. Shutting off my phone to conserve the battery. She held her breath as she added what had seemed impossible two days ago but now was inescapable. You were right. There’s no shutting off thoughts of you.
As she sent the text and powered off her phone, she wondered if she was in over her head—on the trip or with Jake.
One day at a time, she reminded herself, and set to work putting up her tent.
After unrolling the nylon protective sheathing that was supposed to protect the floor of the tent, she slid a thin metal spike through the nylon rings at each corner and used a rock to hammer them in. Easy-peasy. Soon she’d have a place to call home for the duration of her trip. Against the advice of the salesman, she’d splurged on a four-person tent so she’d have plenty of room to unpack her things and move around.
True to the salesman’s promise, the pop-up tent was easy to erect, and within half an hour she had it secured over the protective flooring. She tugged her backpack to the edge of the nylon sheathing, which extended beyond the frame of the tent, creating a small, clean place for her to sit, and began unpacking. She unrolled her sleeping bag and set it up inside the tent, set her clothes out in neat piles, blew up the inflatable pillow, and having forgotten a pillowcase, wrapped it in one of her T-shirts. She didn’t know what everyone had been so worried about. Besides the hike up the mountain, this camping stuff was a breeze. It wasn’t the Hilton, but the tent was spacious enough for her to keep her cooking supplies and food in one corner and still have room to move around.
After Jake had insisted she eat that enormous breakfast, she hadn’t wanted to discuss her meal plans with him. She was pretty sure he’d balk at her choices. Energy bars, soups, and prepackaged camping meals she’d found online were light and easy to prepare. She opened one of the collapsible bowls she’d bought and tossed in the energy bars. She lined up the prepackaged meals and cans of soup, bottles of water, and water-purification tablets and sat back to take it all in. She was really doing this. Ten days in the wilderness. Alone. So far so good, except for the dull ache of missing her boyfriend.
Boyfriend.
Even with how happy she’d been for Gabriella when she’d met Duke, she’d been a little envious, too. She never thought she’d find a man who could make her feel all swoony like Duke made Gabriella feel. She was so very wrong.
Her stomach growled, and she looked at her food. It seemed silly to start a fire when it was almost dark, and she was too exhausted to go in search of the stream to clean dishes. She grabbed an energy bar and went back outside to finish setting up her campsite.
She hung her lantern on the limb of a tree and used her hand shovel to dig a small fire pit. By the time she was done collecting rocks and lining the pit, she was so tired it was all she could do to lower herself to the little vinyl front porch. She grabbed the leather journal Jake had given her, wishing she could crawl into his lap and let his big, strong hands ease all her aches. She smiled as she ran her hand over the distressed leather. When he’d given her the gift, she hadn’t taken the time to appreciate just how thoughtful it was. She gazed out at the inky sky, wondering what he was doing. Was he at his place? Out with friends? Was he thinking of her? She could call him, but that would make her seem needy.
She flipped open the journal and lifted it from her lap to read Jake’s handwritten note. Sexy girl, you can hike for miles, but everything you’re looking for is waiting for you right back here. Your Neanderthal, J.R.
Butterflies took flight in her stomach, and she reached for her phone.
Maybe I am a little needy after all.
AFTER HAVING DINNER with his parents and picking up his luggage they’d brought home from the island, he hugged them goodbye, tossed his suitcase into the back of his SUV, and headed home. His parents still lived in his childhood home, just outside of New York City. He debated staying at his cabin, which was only twenty minutes farther out than his parents’ house, but his place in the city put him that much closer to Addy. He wanted to be as close as possible in case she ran into trouble. He never minded the drive, but tonight, as the lights of the city came int
o focus, it took all of his resolve not to hit the highway and head for the mountains. When he’d received Addy’s text earlier in the evening he and his parents had been eating dinner out on their deck, and it had sparked a lengthy conversation about how he was doing the right thing by giving her the space she’d asked for. But that didn’t mean it didn’t suck.
He navigated through the busy city streets, trying to distract himself. He’d been doing that a lot lately. Trying to distract himself from the woman who was staking claim to such a large piece of him he didn’t think he’d ever recover if she walked away.
As he pulled into the parking garage his phone vibrated, and Addy’s picture filled the screen. He snatched it from the console, swiping the screen as he parked between two cars.
“Hey, baby. You okay?” Static filled the line. He jumped from the truck and sprinted out of the parking garage. Goddamn concrete jungle. “Addy? Are you there? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, that’s better.”
Her sweet, calm voice brought a smile to his face. “You’re okay?”
“Of course. But you sound stressed. You okay?”
He paced the sidewalk. “I didn’t expect you to call. I was worried something happened.”
“Aw, you were worried about me.”
“Of course I’m worried about you.” Jesus, woman. “How are you? Are you staying hydrated? Did you get the tent set up okay?”
“I’m…pretty great, actually. Yes, I’m staying hydrated, and I got the tent up. I told you I could do it.”
“I knew you could do it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t wish I was there with you. You sure you’re okay?”
“Mm-hm.”
The stretch of silence that followed made his stomach knot up. “Addy, what’s wrong?” She sighed, cinching the knot even tighter. “Baby, what is it? Are you scared?”
“No,” she snapped. “Why do you jump directly to that? I told you I could handle this.”
Rescued by Love (Love in Bloom: The Ryders): Jake Ryder Page 19