by Donna Fasano
"I meant it when I said it's okay," he said quietly.
Her throat convulsed in a small, nervous swallow. "But it was pretty obvious to me that they don't want me here."
She couldn't bring herself to be more specific than that.
"Don't you think I've noticed—" he continued to hold her wrist captive in a gentle, silken embrace, his other hand sweeping wide to indicate the room, the house, around them "—what you've done here today? You've succeeded in accomplishing what I haven't been able to do in months. I've never had this kind of help. Never."
"But, Jason, Mr. and Mrs. Cole clearly—"
He cut off her words with a quick shake of his head. "You have to understand. They love their granddaughter. In their eyes, no babysitter is going to be good enough, or experienced enough, to care for Gina."
Then his gray-blue gaze softened. "But they'll come around. They'll see how good you are for us. You'll prove yourself to them, I have no doubt."
He looked around the clean, clutter-free kitchen, then glanced pointedly at the pot of stew bubbling on the stove.
"You've already more than proved yourself to me," he said.
His smile was like a kick to the backs of her knees. Katie felt her heart rate quicken at the sight of it, and she feared he would feel her pulse throb at the pressure point where his fingertips pressed against her wrist.
However, there was something sad and enormously endearing about his smile. Something that made her want to reach up and cradle his jaw in the palm of her hand. Something that made her want to assure him that everything would be okay.
But she fought the urge. This man was her employer, and it wouldn't be seemly for her to be too forward or too personal.
His words regarding the Coles echoed through the fog of her emotion-wracked brain.
"No sitter is going to be good enough to care for Gina."
Ellen Cole had lost this battle, but Katie suspected the woman wouldn't give up until she won the war and saw to it that Katie was banished from the Devlin household.
Nibbling on her lower lip, Katie debated whether or not to be open and honest with Jason regarding her thoughts regarding his in-laws' opinions of her. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that her child-care abilities had nothing whatsoever to do with the Coles' dislike of her. But, Katie wondered, would she be stepping out of line to explain that to Jason? And, worse yet, would he even believe her?
In the eternity of three scant seconds, Katie made up her mind to let it go. She smiled at Jason and said, "Let's eat."
Chapter 4
An audible groan escaped from Katie's throat as she replaced the telephone receiver into its cradle. Ellen Cole was going to drive her stark, raving mad. And as Katie entered her third week in the Devlin household, she suspected that's exactly what the woman was hoping for.
Gina's grandmother had called her five times today, and just as many times yesterday, and the day before. Of course, Ellen telephoned from her workplace under the guise of checking up on her granddaughter, but Katie knew Ellen was hoping to upset her to the point where she quit her job as Gina's nanny. Jason had told her of the trouble he'd had keeping a sitter, and Katie wondered just how many of her predecessors had received Ellen's harassment-by-phone. No wonder Jason couldn't keep a sitter.
Of course, Katie always greeted Ellen's inquires with calm patience. But the woman was really beginning to try every ounce of her patience.
And if the days were difficult, the evenings were even worse. Jason was now working during the day, which meant he was home in the evenings. And that prompted Ellen and Jack to visit—and they stayed at the house long into the evening. The couple used the excuse that they wanted to play with their granddaughter. And their visit always lasted until their little "excuse" was tucked into her bed and they had no other option but to go home.
"They've always been attentive to Gina," Jason had remarked, "but they've never been this attentive."
Even now Katie had to smile at his naiveté.
Ellen and Jack loved Gina, of that Katie had no doubt. But their nightly visits to the Devlin house, she was certain, were more of an effort to keep Jason busy—thus keeping him oblivious to Katie's presence. And the Coles were doing an extremely thorough job.
Not that Katie wanted Jason to notice her. Not by any means. Even though Jason was an attractive man, Katie couldn't help but wonder what her parents would think if she and her employer were to become involved.
Why, her father would have such a fit the roof rafters would rattle!
Jason was a good man. He was smart and kind and conscientious. He spent his working hours serving and protecting the citizens of Bayview and the surrounding area. He wanted to be a good role model for his daughter, for his friends, and for everyone he interacted with on the job, and that included troubled teens. He often mentioned how he'd like to find some way get each and every one of the town's misguided kids back on the right path.
That sounded like such a grandiose ideal to uphold, but in the three weeks Katie had spent living in Jason's home, she'd come to learn that that ideal fit him to a T. He was honest and upright, always trying to do the right thing for everyone else—sometimes even to his own detriment. Jason's heart was pure. If anyone could help the youth of Bayview, it would be Jason. But Katie knew her father would only see him as a cop. A man uninterested in political power or wealth. A man unfit for the daughter of a congressman.
Katie sighed, realizing that Jason was the exact opposite of Everett.
Her heart began to pound fearfully in her chest. No, she commanded herself, don't think about Everett. Her parents might think the world of the man, but she knew she simply couldn't...she simply wouldn't...
Pressing her flattened palm to the base of her throat, she pushed the whole ugly situation from her mind. She'd escaped. She was safe. If luck was on her side, her family might not find her for a good long time.
Oh, who was she kidding? Living with a glass-half-full attitude was one thing, but this desperate clutch on naivety was just plain silly.
"Hello."
Katie looked across the kitchen, the sight of Jason's handsome face bringing a smile to her own. "Hi," she said. "I didn't hear you come in." Then her eyes widened with alarm. "You're early, aren't you? I haven't even started dinner yet."
"It's okay." His charming grin widened. "I am early. And I don't want you to cook tonight. I want to take you and Gina out. For burgers. Maybe we'll go walk around the mall afterward, or something."
"Okay," Katie said. But she sensed there was more he wasn't saying. "Is everything all right? Did you have a bad day at work, or something?"
"No, no," he assured her. "Nothing like that."
But he averted his gaze, and she knew there was more on his mind. Something other than a visit to the nearest fast-food joint.
"Jason—" she waited until his eyes were on her "—what is it?"
His cheeks puffed out as he sighed. He shook his head. "I feel so guilty," he said. "But I can't help it. I need a break."
"A break?"
Jason actually looked sheepish, and Katie raised her brows in a silent question.
"From Ellen and Jack," he finally admitted. "Don't get me wrong. I love them, and I'm glad that they want to visit with Gina. I feel bad, but—" he sighed again "—I just need an evening alone with my daughter."
"That's nothing to feel bad about. You deserve some time alone with Gina. I'm certain she would love that. The two of you should go out for burgers."
"Well..." he began.
Again he averted his gaze, and Katie thought the hesitant expression that came over his face was very appealing. It was impossible to keep her smile from widening.
"I'd like you to come with us, if you don't mind," he said.
He ran his fingers through his russet hair. Katie's head tipped a fraction to one side, thinking that he seemed almost embarrassed.
"I mean you're so good with Gina," he explained. Then he chuckled. "I could use your help
. And besides—" his eyes darted to the floor "—I've begun to think of you as part of our little family here."
The sight of him standing there in the kitchen doorway looking so unsure as he asked her to have dinner with him and his daughter was so endearing to Katie. This man was so sweet, so open, so utterly alluring.
She stifled a gasp. Allowing herself to become attracted to him would be a horrible mistake. Jason was her boss, and she needed this job. And she didn't even want to imagine how her father would react.
"So," Jason said, boldly lifting his eyes to hers, "what do you say? You want to go out for burgers?"
"Daddy!" Gina raced at her father.
"Whoa there, pumpkin head." He swung her high into the air. "How are you today?"
"Ham-ba-ga!" she shouted.
Jason laughed. "You don't miss a thing, do you?"
Gina squirmed in her daddy's arms until she was facing Katie. "Lady go?" the toddler asked.
Katie looked from Jason to Gina and then back again. She should stay home, she told herself. She should let Jason take his daughter to dinner so they could spend some time together. But the two of them created a picture that was so darned cute, she wasn't able to resist their invitation.
"Sure," she told them. "Let's go get some burgers."
* * *
"Ellen and Jack do mean well."
Katie looked across the table at Jason, but kept the dubious rejoinder on the tip of her tongue to herself. Instead, she took a moment to glance over at Gina who was playing on the indoor playground.
Jason wiped his mouth on a paper napkin. "I mean, they do love Gina. And they care about me. I hate the thought that I sometimes feel..."
She studied him as he searched for words to explain the emotions he was experiencing.
"Invaded?" she supplied. His expression told her she'd described his feeling perfectly. "Your in-laws have been invading your space every night," she went on. "It's only natural that you'd feel the need to spend an evening without them."
He actually looked relieved, and Katie's heart swelled with a sudden, unexpected joy when she realized that she'd been able to ease his guilt.
Jason reached out and slid his hand over hers. His palm felt smooth and warm, and he curled his fingers around her hand and gently squeezed.
"Thanks," he told her. "Thanks for understanding." Then he pulled his hand back to his side of the table.
He looked out over the small playground, searching for Gina. While his attention was focused on his daughter, Katie let her eyes rove over his profile. He was a good-looking man, a good-hearted man, and he was so considerate where his in-laws were concerned.
Irritation flared inside her at the thought that Jack and Ellen's motives weren't as pure as Jason thought they were. If he understood that fact, if he was told the real reason his in-laws were visiting every evening, maybe Jason would feel less guilty about wanting a little space.
But how could she tell him? she wondered. How could she explain that Ellen and Jack Cole were afraid that Jason was going to take a personal interest in the woman he'd hired as Gina's nanny? Why, she was going to come off looking arrogant, presumptuous and downright brazen.
But then again, if she didn't tell him, Ellen and Jack were going to continue to make Jason's life miserable. The couple was going to continue to make her own life miserable.
Of course, she could handle whatever Ellen Cole dished out. But Katie hated to see Jason suffer with the guilt that was plaguing him.
"Jason," she said quietly.
He turned his blue gaze on her, and Katie was struck with the thought that his eyes were the color of a summer sky on a cloudless afternoon—clear and full of sincere light that revealed a guileless soul.
"I have something I want to tell you," she said.
His entire countenance seemed to intensify with curiosity, and Katie felt there was no one else in the whole restaurant but the two of them. This was something she'd noticed during the weeks she'd lived in Jason's house; any time she wanted to talk with him, he gave her his undivided attention. This intense regard made her feel special somehow, although she knew he wasn't giving her any kind of extraordinary treatment, that this was just his way. Still, she couldn't deny the warmth his attention brought deep inside her.
When she didn't speak right away, he grinned. "So what is it you wanted to tell me?"
Her face flamed with heat. She wished she wouldn't become so distracted by the small traits in his character she found wonderful.
"Well," she began, "it's about Ellen and Jack. And their nightly visits."
She'd piqued his interest, she could tell by his attentive expression. Katie prayed that the right words would come out of her mouth. Words that would explain what she wanted to say without harming or shocking Jason too much. Words he would be able to trust and believe.
"I...I..." she stammered. She stopped, took a deep breath and started over. "I don't doubt their love for Gina." Her gaze darted away from him for a split second before returning to his face. She blinked. "But their reasons for coming over every single night are a little more complicated than simply visiting their granddaughter."
"Oh?" He swiveled around on the hard plastic bench seat until his whole body was facing her.
"Yes," she went on. "You see, I overheard some things Ellen said to Jack that first evening I met them. And then your mother-in-law said something to me." She hesitated as doubt gathered in a lump in her throat. Would he believe her when she finally was able to get out what she was trying to say?
"Something that led me to believe—" Why was she finding this so hard? "—that she and Jack think that..." She let the sentence trail and simply looked at him.
Jason's small smile was encouraging. "They think that what?"
"That... that we... that we might—"
This was so hard! It sounded so presumptuous of her to be even thinking the thought, let alone voicing it.
Then she realized there was another way to say this. She could remove herself from the equation altogether. She could focus on Jack and Ellen's motives, on their fear and how it was connected to Jason.
"Your in-laws," she began again, this time a little more confident, "are afraid of losing their place in your family. They're afraid that your circumstances might change, and that if that were to happen then your feelings for them, your need of them might somehow diminish."
There was a frown between his burnished brows, and Katie felt the urge to reach out and smooth her fingertips across it.
"They're afraid my circumstances might change." He whispered the words almost to himself, his frown deepening. "I'm not sure what you mean, Katie. I'm not going anywhere. I have a home in Bayview. I have friends who live here. A job I have no intention of leaving. What could change?"
Her belly tightened. She wondered if she should be sorry that she brought up the subject.
"Um..." Taking her bottom lip between her teeth, she searched her brain for words that could simplify her thoughts. Clarify them, actually. Taking a deep breath, she said, "They don't want you to become involved with someone... another woman, I mean. That would really change things. From their perspective, I mean. I think that they're worried that you might fall in—"
She simply couldn't bring herself to say the word love. Katie heaved a great sigh. "Jack and Ellen would feel threatened if you were to ever... come to have feelings for another woman."
There, she thought, that certainly made it plain and simple.
But the wrinkle in his forehead only became more pronounced.
Katie sat back and went quiet. She'd taken him far enough along the path. He was smart enough to go the rest of the distance on his own. She knew he thought the best of Jack and Ellen, but surely he wouldn't allow his love for his in-laws to blind him to how his in-laws truly felt.
He was quiet for several long moments. Finally he said, "You believe that Jack and Ellen think that I—" he pointed to his chest "—might come to have feelings for you." He pointed in he
r direction. His light blue gaze held an intensity that took her breath away.
She hadn't expected him to echo her words in such an intimate manner. Katie had tried to take herself out of the situation, but he'd placed her right smack in the center of the bull's eye.
Heat rushed through her, turning her cheeks a pink. She couldn't seem to make her tongue work.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to make you feel self-conscious, but you used the word we—as in... you and me. You said that they were afraid we might... become involved or something."
"Actually, I... I didn't go that far." She stumbled over her speech in her rush. "I started out with we, but then I..." She felt confused, almost trapped. "I didn't mean to imply… I don't want you to think… I wasn't being presumptuous…"
Damn it! She was sorry she'd brought the subject up at all.
"But that's what you meant, wasn't it?"
He wasn't going to let it go. And she couldn't deny what she'd said. And despite the embarrassment she was feeling, wasn't the whole point of the matter to be honest and open so he would realize his in-laws' intentions?
Lifting her gaze to his, she nodded. "That's exactly what I meant."
"But that's ridiculous."
The exclamation stunned her, and it must have shown on her face, because he quickly reached across the table and took her hand in his.
"Not that the idea is beyond the realm of possibility," he said in a rush.
His touch was like a low, vibrating current that caused her skin to tingle with warmth. Her physical reaction to him added yet another onslaught of emotion to the chaos she was already feeling inside.
"You're a beautiful woman, and I'm a red-blooded male. I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn't attracted to you."
She sought out his gaze. His eyes were huge. Almost imploring. It was so obvious to her that he feared he might have insulted her and he felt awful about it.
"It's me," he continued, his words and expression becoming even more hurried and impulsive. "There's no way you would be—I can't imagine you ever feeling—"