by Donna Fasano
He turned to leave, but then swiveled his head toward her, imprisoning her with his steely gaze. "I might be able to smooth things over for you legally. But I refuse to fix the situation between you and Katie. Remember what I said, Ellen. Katie deserves an apology. And you are invited back into my home only when you're prepared to offer her one."
* * *
Katie gently placed Gina in her bed and pulled the soft blanket up and over the child's back. She'd come to love the bright and perky little girl in the few weeks that she'd been here. Gina's long, auburn curls framed an inquisitive blue gaze and a ready smile reminiscent of her father's.
The very idea that the child she was responsible for was in danger tonight frightened Katie terribly. If the intruder had entered the house, how could she have protected Gina? As she stared down at the sleeping toddler, Katie rubbed her hands up and down her upper arms feeling helpless and... lacking—a lot like she'd felt when she'd fled her home.
Silence vibrated in the air. However, she'd never been afraid to be alone before. Now the quiet made her feel uncomfortable.
"This is silly," she whispered aloud in the darkened room.
She knew Jason was nearby. Knew the police officers were still nearby. She'd heard them go out the front door, their voices a gentle murmur as they talked on the front walkway. Still, the uneasiness spurred a tremendous urge to actually see Jason's strong, muscular body as he stood tall and intimidating in his policeman's uniform. Seeing him would allow her to feel safe and secure.
For her own peace of mind, Katie snapped on the low-wattage night-light before leaving Gina's bedroom. She went into her room and slipped out of Jason's big, bulky terry-cloth robe, replacing it with the long, clinging satin one that matched her nightgown. She felt certain that the other officers would be leaving and that Jason would remain behind to talk to her. She wanted desperately to look good when he came back into the house.
After running a brush through her hair, Katie went out into the living room and drew back the drapes at the front window enough so she could see out. Yes, she noticed, all three of the other officers were getting into two of the police cars.
Jason locked his own cruiser, pocketed the keys and turned toward the house. He looked so big out there in the dark, so able to protect her. From just about anything.
But she knew he couldn't protect her from the way she'd come to feel about him. Before tonight, she'd wanted badly to be in his arms. And now that she'd felt his hands on her body, tasted his lips on hers, the experience had only whetted her appetite for more.
Almost as though her intimate thoughts reached out and physically touched him, he lifted his gaze and stared directly at the window, catching her watching him. The outside light above the front door illuminated his face, yet Katie couldn't begin to identify all the emotions that seemed to play across his features. And although he looked at her, unblinkingly, his gait didn't hesitate in the least as he stalked toward the house.
She lost sight of him when he stepped up to the front door. But the sound of the front latch opening caused her heart to patter.
Letting the window drape fall from her fingertips, Katie faced the doorway and waited the scant second it took for Jason to appear. She could no more hold back the bright smile of relief that formed on her lips than she could have stopped the hands of time.
"I never did get to thank you," she said in a rush. "I mean, for coming. I know that the other officers did everything they could. They did everything perfectly, in fact. They arrived within minutes of my call, even though it felt like—" she grimaced "—forever. But I never felt completely safe—" her gaze lowered to the floor, and then returned to his "—until you arrived."
Something flitted into his steel blue eyes. Yes, it was pure masculine pride, she saw. And her heart nearly split in two from the tremendous amount of joy that swelled there.
"I guess you didn't find the guy?" Katie asked the question with her heart in her throat. She had seen the other officers leaving. Had seen that they had no one in custody. But the idea of the stranger still out there somewhere in the dark frightened her.
She noticed that Jason looked a little uncomfortable.
"We had an eyewitness," he finally said.
"Oh?" She looked questioningly at him.
Jason nodded. "My neighbor, Oliver Roberts, saw—" He hesitated while he took a deep breath. "He saw—"
"He saw the guy?" she couldn't help but finish what Jason, for some strange reason, couldn't. "I've met Mr. Roberts," she went on. "He waves at Gina and me when we go out for walks. Did he give you a description?" Her eyes brightened as a thought struck her. "Did he recognize the man? Who was it, Jason? Is it someone the police know? Are you going to pick him up?"
Her body was visibly trembling now. She hadn't realized just how scared she was at the idea that the intruder would remain at large—and be able to return.
"Just hold on," Jason crooned softly.
He enfolded her in his arms, and Katie hadn't even been aware that he'd moved from where he'd been standing in the living room doorway.
"I just feel so... I hate feeling so helpless." The words came out sounding husky and full of emotion. She didn't like being out of control. Didn't like feeling unsafe. Panicky. It was the very reason she'd left home. The very reason she'd escaped Everett.
"You're okay now," Jason said. "We know who it was. And it isn't going to happen again."
She pressed her forehead against his chest, tears slipping silently down her cheeks. "Who was he, Jason?" she whispered.
Please, God, she silently prayed, don't let Daddy be involved in this.
She couldn't deal with that situation right now. And even after all these weeks, she didn't want to think about how she was failing her father. She loved him too much to see disappointment in his eyes—disappointment that she'd caused.
Tipping up her chin, Katie raised her gaze to Jason's. "Who was he?" she repeated.
Jason heaved a sigh. He looked down into her face, sadness settling into the corners of his mouth. He reached up and smoothed the pad of his thumb across the glistening path of a teardrop.
"I don't want you to be upset," he said softly, "but I'm sure you're going to be."
Katie stood there, stock-still, in Jason's arms. The heat emanating from him didn't keep her blood from chilling in her veins. The intruder had been sent by her father! And Jason would find out everything. That she was not Katie Smyth. That she had run from—
"It wasn't a he."
Several seconds ticked by before Katie was able to react. She absently pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, a frown biting deeply into her brow. Wasn't a man?
Jason knew the identity of the person who had terrorized her and Gina tonight. She could see it written plainly in his eyes. What was holding him back? Why didn't he just tell her what he knew?
Then, as though a bright ray of light pierced the fog in her head, Katie knew without a doubt that this had nothing to do with her parents. Nothing to do with the awful situation from which she'd run away. Her identity and her secret were safe.
Whoever had attempted to break into the house—a woman, he had implied—had known Jason. Katie's intuition told her this was true, and she believed it beyond a shadow of a doubt.
"There's no easy way to tell you this." He inhaled deeply, grasped her shoulders in his big, protective hands and gazed directly into her eyes. "It was Ellen."
"Ellen?" Her frown deepened. What?
"Why would she do such a thing, Jason? Did she need to get in the house? Did she need something?" Questions came faster than she could ask them. "Are they okay over there? Did she knock and I didn't hear? Is that why she came around to my window? But why didn't she—"
"Katie, stop."
It was kind of a relief to find out that the intruder hadn't been a big, burly man intent on harming her and Gina—an intimidating stranger that her mind had so easily conjured in its state of utter panic. But now Katie was left with a multitude of
questions as she studied Jason's face.
"Ellen didn't need to get inside," he went on softly. "And she hadn't knocked or rung the bell. She and Jack are fine."
He pursed his lips for a moment, and she saw that hesitation return to his expression.
"Katie," he said, "Ellen meant to frighten you. She meant to scare you enough to make you afraid to be in the house alone. Enough to make you leave. Quit your job, I guess. I'm not exactly sure. I was too angry with her to get her side of the story."
Katie felt her whole body react—felt her entire being on the verge of anger. And she knew that all she'd have to do to fall headlong into the deep lake of fury was to remember how scared she was, how terrified poor Gina had been, when the two of them had been in the kitchen, waiting for the bogeyman to burst through the back door.
However, almost instantly, another emotion drowned the anger: compassion. The wave of sympathy that washed over her was stunning in its intensity.
"I feel so sorry for her," Katie whispered softly. Pity made her eyes prickle with unshed tears. "She must feel awfully threatened by me to go to such lengths, Jason." She shook her head slowly, her next words spoken absently, almost to herself. "I was scared," she told him. "I was really scared. But only for a little while. Ellen's been afraid almost since the day I arrived."
Now it was Jason's turn to shake his head, and the action drew her attention to his face.
"Damn, Katie. You really are something else."
A tiny smile curled the corners of his mouth, and the good feelings emanating from him lent her a warmth that spread out in concentric circles all the way to her fingers and toes.
"I was furious at Ellen," Jason told her. "I still am. And I expected you to be incensed. But here you are, only considering Ellen. What she's thinking. What she's feeling."
Katie shrugged. "Well, I do know why she did what she did. You and I have already talked about it."
"Yes, but that's no excuse. Come on. A person can't go around scaring the hell… I mean, scaring the heck out of people like that. It's wrong."
"I'll agree with that," she said, nodding. "But I'll talk to her. And I'm sure we can work this out."
"No. She's going to talk to you," he said, his tone suddenly stern. "I told her she owed you an apology, and I told her she wasn't to come back here until she was ready to ante up."
His firm and chivalrous behavior flattered her. She slid her palms against his shirtfront until her hands rested on his massive chest. "So, you stood up for me, huh?"
She moved a scant inch closer to him, and she recognized that he was aware of the change in the tone of her voice, in the very tone in the atmosphere.
He seemed suddenly nervous, and Katie found his shyness charming.
"Well, yes," he said. Then he tipped his head a fraction to the side, his gaze sliding to focus on something over her shoulder. "Yes, I did."
It was almost as if he was reluctant to take credit for his gallantry. And again she felt this enormous attraction to him—and that reminded her that they had unfinished business to discuss.
"I don't want you to worry, Jason," she told him. "Ellen and I will work this out, you'll see."
He looked relieved; however, she didn't give him time to enjoy the feeling.
"But, Jason..."
She inched closer and stood on tiptoe to look into his eyes. A small smile of pleasure curled the corners of her mouth at the little-boy nervousness expressed on his face.
"Don't we have something else we need to talk about?"
Chapter 7
His blue eyes clouded over with—What was it? Shyness? Self-consciousness? Indecision? There was no trace of the guilt she'd seen before, that wide-eyed horror that conveyed he thought he'd done something terribly wrong, that look that made even her feel guilty for the kiss they had shared and prompted this need for the discussion they were about to have.
No, this was more of a fearful expression.
But what did a strong, self-assured man like Jason Devlin have to fear from her? She wasn't certain, but she'd seen that odd tension on his face before—on the evening when she'd asked him if he'd wanted to kiss her.
He'd turned her down that night, so she knew she needed to tread easy here. If he wasn't interested, he wasn't interested, and that would be that. But instinct told her something altogether different.
She watched as his eyes closed and he stepped away from her, his head tipping to one side almost timidly. Dear Lord, but this bashfulness was so cute, so… appealing.
He kept his gaze averted, and she began feeling a little nervous herself. Absently tugging on the satin sash of her robe, she asked, "Have I done something wrong? Something to upset you?"
"No," he assured her, finally meeting her gaze. "Oh, no."
Good, she thought, relief flooding her. For a moment there, a horrible idea had passed through her brain, and she felt she might have misread his interest in her altogether. But then she remembered the deliciously intimate kiss they had just shared back in his bedroom, and Katie knew that Jason simply had to feel as attracted to her as she felt to him. She'd have been absolutely brain dead to have misinterpreted.
"Then, would you please talk to me?" she pleaded softly. "These conflicting vibes you're sending out are confusing me. What with the way you're acting now, and the way you acted in the bedroom earlier tonight, I don't know what to think." She lifted her hands, palms up. "Jason—" her voice lowered to a near whisper "—what is it that's happening here between us?"
He raked his fingers through his deep russet hair and glanced around the living room. The awkward, little-boy-lost expression on his face was more than a little endearing.
"I guess," he began haltingly, "after that display back in the bedroom, I don't have to... tell you how I feel. It's got to be pretty damned obvious. But since we do need to talk about... what happened, I guess discussing my feelings would be the best place to start."
She eased herself down onto the sofa cushion, hoping he would follow, but he didn't. He simply stood there a few feet from her, and she could see him struggling with whatever it was that was so obviously churning inside him.
When he didn't continue right away, Katie prompted, "Okay, I'm listening."
He took a couple of steps in one direction, then turned and paced back to his original position. He reached up and scrubbed at the back of his neck. Finally, he focused on her, steady and intent.
"Look, I'm—" he stopped long enough to swallow "—very attracted to you, Katie."
The grave tone of his voice took her by surprise.
"But I've already told you, I feel the same way about you," she said, meaning to assure him that what he was feeling was okay with her. She curled her lips into an encouraging smile. "You make it sound like it's a dreadful thing. Being attracted to me, I mean."
He hurried to take a seat beside her. "That's not what I meant, at all," he assured her. "Over the past three weeks or so that you've been here with me and Gina, I've felt alive. Unbelievably happy."
As he was speaking, he slowly unfastened the buttons of his sleeves and rolled them to expose his forearms.
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "It's just that..." His chin dipped and he focused on a spot on the floor right between his feet. Then his gaze swung up to meet hers.
"To be honest with you, I never thought this would happen to me. Finding someone. Getting involved." He sat up straight. "Oh, I don't want you to think it was something I had come right out and decided. I hadn't really put the thought into words, to tell you the truth. It was just an idea that slowly crept up on me, kind of inchworm fashion, if you know what I mean. It was because of Marie. I wanted to keep her memory bright. And clear. And… you know, right there. For Gina. And for Ellen and Jack."
Almost as a vague afterthought, he added, "And me."
After a moment of silence she said, "I see."
He shook his head. "I'm not sure you can, Katie. How can you understand, when I really can't unde
rstand it myself? I don't know what I was thinking, or… or how I decided that my remaining single would somehow keep Marie's memory alive."
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Jason. Like you said, it wasn't a conscious decision." She slid closer to him and placed her fingertips on his strong forearm, purely in the interest of comforting him. "But it was a noble thought, and a completely normal one. Wanting to keep your wife's memory alive, I mean. You loved Marie. You were a family together. You're raising the child the two of you had together. Gina deserves to know her mother. She deserves to see photos, to hear stories from you about what kind of woman her mother was. It's all a necessary part of making Gina feel loved and secure."
Unwittingly her thumb skimmed back and forth on the corded muscle of his forearm.
"Correct me if I'm wrong," she said, "but it seems as though you're insinuating that you can't keep your wife's memory alive and allow yourself to have a relationship with… another woman at the same time."
It was spoken as a statement, but it was most definitely a question.
"Well," he said quietly, "I have been feeling guilty about my feelings for you. Somehow I feel like I shouldn't be happy. I shouldn't be so eager to come home from work."
Warm pleasure eased itself through her body and down her limbs, relaxing each muscle and sinew. She nibbled on her top lip for a moment before saying what was on her mind. "Don't you think Marie would be happy that you're happy? Don't you think she'd want you to have a good life?" Before he could respond, an idea struck her. "Okay," she said in a rush, "just for a moment let's reverse things. If you had died rather than Marie, would you have wanted her to go through life alone?"
"Of course not," he said automatically. "I'd have wanted her to go on with life. But that doesn't make me feel any less guilty."
Katie frowned. "I've never experienced this kind of situation before—" she shrugged one shoulder a fraction "—but I have a sneaking suspicion that what you're feeling is quite natural. I mean, you loved her, Jason, and experiencing an attraction for someone else would naturally feel like a betrayal of some—"