by Donna Fasano
The house was so still. He poked his head into his daughter's room. Her sleeping form made him smile, despite his exhaustion and the turmoil churning deep in his gut. His baby girl never failed to make his heart turn to mush.
Katie's bedroom door stood open, and he saw that the room was empty. Just then the bathroom door was pulled open. He turned and saw her standing there.
She'd obviously just had a shower; the moist, mysterious scent of her wafting around him like a thick, heated haze. Her golden hair was damp, her face devoid of makeup, but she was still stunning enough to steal his breath away. She looked all soft and feminine in that pink, clingy robe. The sight of her tied his tongue in knots.
"Hi," she said.
Her smile seemed tentative and full of questions, and Jason wanted to kick himself, because he knew he'd confused her with the way he'd left last night.
Before he could speak, she went on, "I'd meant to be finished and dressed before you arrived this morning. I'd wanted to have something ready for you to eat."
"Oh, that's okay," he told her. "I'm really kind of tired. I think I'll go straight to bed, if you don't mind."
She shook her head. "Of course, I don't mind."
He didn't miss the disappointment in her voice. Again he silently cursed the wall of awkwardness that he automatically built between himself and this woman.
Say something, darn it! a voice shouted at him. She needs to know what you're feeling, what you're thinking.
"I really am tired, Katie," he assured her softly. "Really."
The doubt in her deep blue eyes cleared a little.
Do something! the voice urged. Show her some sign of your intentions.
A stark-raving fear flared, white hot, in his chest.
He took a tentative step toward her and reached out to touch her shoulder. The silky heat of the satin sent his thoughts into overdrive, and he simply stood there like a dim-witted idiot.
Rip down that wall and let her see what's in your heart!
Fighting the monstrous qualm with every vestige of his strength, Jason leaned toward her and pressed a tiny kiss on the corner of her mouth.
"Please, Katie," he heard himself whisper, "be patient with me."
He smiled at her then, and he felt tremendously rewarded when her eyes twinkled with relief.
Katie was still nodding in answer when he closed his bedroom door, leaving her alone in the hallway. Ever so slowly, she reached up and lightly touched her fingertips to the spot on her smile where his lips had touched her mouth.
After seeing the expression on his face, the look in his beautiful blue eyes, after feeling his warm lips on hers, Katie was certain she could—since he'd asked—conjure the patience of a saint.
She floated through the morning, feeding Gina breakfast and getting the child ready for the day. She didn't think anything on earth would make her feet touch ground.
Then the doorbell rang.
"Hello, Ellen." Katie stepped aside so the woman could come into the foyer.
"I had a day off," Ellen said, "so I thought I'd come see Gina." After a pause, she added, "And you."
Katie's lips compressed in a thin line at the derisive tone in which Ellen had spoken the last two words; however, she felt safe since the woman's back was to her. She probably should feel angry at Ellen, if not for frightening her, then for scaring Gina. But all Katie felt for Jason's mother-in-law was pity.
Grief, heartache, outrage at the unfairness of life, fear of change, the dreadful thought of losing even more of her family. Ellen was sorely wounded by events that were beyond her control. Compassion was what she needed, not more anger and negativity.
"Well, come right on in," Katie told her easily. "Gina and I were just getting out the finger paints." She moved past Ellen, from the foyer into the living room.
Ellen followed close on her heels. "Oh, well, that sounds a little messy to me," she said. "Maybe I'll come back later."
"But I'm sure you want to at least say hello to Gina. She's in the kitchen."
Gina toddled into the room. "Nana!"
The child hugged Ellen's knees, and Ellen planted a quick kiss on the top of Gina's head.
"Nana paint?"
"No, honey," Ellen said. "Not today."
Katie saw the woman's eyes darting toward the hallway, nervous tension tightening her face.
"I saw Jason's car in the drive."
So she was worried about facing Jason after what she'd done last night, Katie realized.
"Yes, he's here," she said, "but he's sleeping."
"Ah." Relief flooded through the woman and she visibly relaxed.
"Gina, pick up all the blocks, so we can get out the paints." Katie moved to help, but Ellen stopped her with a light touch on the forearm.
"Wait," Ellen murmured. "Actually, Katie... I came to see you."
Katie stood, silent.
"I... I owe you an apology," Ellen blurted. "I'm really sorry about last night. I never in a million years thought Gina would wake up." She bit her bottom lip a moment. "It was a horrible thing I did. Jack is furious at me. And so's Jason." Her brow furrowed. "I shouldn't have done it; I don't even know what I was thinking. And I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me."
Believing she was a good judge of character, Katie knew the apology was, no doubt, not as sincere as it should be. Ellen was making the effort for the simple fact that the men in her life were angry. But Katie understood the motivation behind Ellen's actions—probably even more than Ellen did herself—and that helped her to allow Ellen to make amends.
"Done!" Gina proclaimed, thumping the lid of the plastic container that held the blocks.
"Good job," Katie said. "Now, can you put them in your room for me?"
"'Den Lady paint?"
Katie nodded. "Then we'll paint."
As Gina headed for her bedroom with the blocks, Ellen remarked, "She's still calling you Lady. It's so cute."
Smiling, Katie said, "Yes. I haven't been able to break her of it. And I'm not sure I want to. It does make me smile."
Ellen's gaze grew serious. "My granddaughter has grown fond of you."
"And I love her so much it hurts my heart. In a good way, of course." Katie moistened her lips and quickly added, "I've come to like you too, Ellen. I hope we can be friends."
The woman's face took on a strained look. "Please try to understand. I'm worried, is all. About you... and Jason."
"Look, Ellen," she said, "I do understand why you did what you did last night. I know you're afraid of the idea of Jason becoming involved with another woman." She tilted her head. "But do you really think that's fair? I mean, Jason is a young man. He has his whole life ahead of him. Do you really want him to live it alone? To raise Gina on his own?"
Tears shone in the woman's eyes, and Katie could see that emotion was lodged in Ellen's throat, hot and thick.
"But he has me and Jack. And Gina." The words sounded grating and rough.
Katie's voice grew gentle as she continued. "You and Jack can't give him what a—" she sought for a noun, reluctant to use the word wife "—what a life mate could. In your heart I'm sure you know that. You've spent a lot of years sharing life with Jack. Don't you want that same kind of happiness, that same kind of contentment for Jason?"
She absently smoothed back a lock of her hair. Now was the time for a little honesty. "I don't know if anything's going to happen between Jason and me. But whether it's me, or whether it's someone else, Jason needs a woman in his life. He needs someone to share the journey with. Just like you have Jack."
Now Katie felt her own throat constricting with scalding emotion. "It's terrible that your daughter died," she told Ellen, her voice soft with sincerity. "It was an awful, awful thing that Marie was taken from you all. From all of you. But you never have to worry about her memory dying. Ever. Because Marie will always be alive. In your hearts." She gave Ellen's fingers a gentle squeeze. "And in Gina."
Chapter 8
"You're kidd
ing?"
The incredulous tone of Jason's voice as he spoke on the phone drew Katie's attention, and she watched him closely as she wiped bits of scrambled egg from Gina's chin. The ringing telephone had interrupted Saturday morning breakfast.
"Well, does Derrick want to cancel?"
So the call was in regard to the wedding that was supposed to take place today, and from the words being spoken, the plans weren't going too well.
Jason had told Katie that Derrick had met a schoolteacher back in the fall. Anna and Derrick had fallen in love and had planned to get married today. A small, intimate ceremony, in a small, intimate church. It sounded so romantic to Katie who knew her well-off, social-butterfly parents would never agree to such a thing for her, their only child. When Jason had invited her to attend his friend's wedding, Katie had been overjoyed to have the opportunity to meet Derrick and Anna.
"Well, we've got problems."
The sound of Jason's voice brought her out of her dreamy thoughts. But Katie didn't feel bad that she'd lost herself in the idea of romance; in fact, she found a vague smile had sprouted on her lips. Was there a woman alive who didn't like to fantasize about lacy white dresses and happily ever after?
Lifting her chin, Katie said, "What is it?"
"There was a fire at the church last night." His tone was grave. "The church where Derrick and Anna were to be married."
"That's terrible."
"The minister was working at his office late," Jason said. "He put water on for tea and then fell asleep at his desk. Most of the damage was from the smoke." Jason grimaced. "Reverend Cobb called the fire department, but rather than getting himself out of the church, he tried to fight the flames. He's in the hospital, suffering with smoke inhalation, and there's no way he can perform the ceremony today."
"Oh, my," Katie whispered, feeling an immediate affinity for Derrick's fiancée. "Anna must be so upset."
"That's the understatement of the century! She's at Derrick's. Derrick told Reese that she slipped in through the back door and locked herself in his office. She's a little superstitious; she won't see Derrick, but she's talking to him through the door. She's been on the brink of tears all morning."
"The poor woman."
"She wants to call off everything, but Derrick's trying to convince her that they can salvage the day."
"A bride shouldn't have to 'salvage' her wedding day, Jason."
His pale blue eyes clouded over. "I just suggested to Reese that I take you over there so you could talk to Anna. I didn't know what else to offer. But—" he shook his head "—I'm not sure that's such a good idea if you're thinking like that."
Katie helped Gina spoon up another mouthful of scrambled egg. "Me?" she asked. "What could I say that would help matters? Where's Anna's family? Her friends?"
"Her only family, a cousin I think, is supposed to arrive a little later today." He slid into the chair beside her and covered her free hand with his. "You have to understand Anna. She's a little...different. A little eccentric."
Of all the things that Jason had just said, only one thing sank into Katie's head. "You mean to tell me that it's Anna's wedding day and she has no family near, no friends, and she's finding out her plans are unraveling like a piece of fabric?"
His cheeks puffed out as he exhaled loudly. "That about sums it up, yes." Without hesitation, he blurted, "She won't let him comfort her or help to make—"
"And why should she let him in?" Katie's tone was sharper than she'd intended. "It's bad luck for the groom to see his bride until the ceremony."
"Women," Jason swore under his breath.
Ignoring his remark completely, Katie used a moist cloth to clean Gina's fingers. "We need to go over there," she told Jason. "Anna needs a friend. She needs someone to talk to."
"Good," Jason got up from the table. "I'll call Ellen and ask if she can sit with Gina now rather than later. Then I'll call Derrick and tell him the cavalry's coming."
* * *
Katie stood in the hallway facing the closed door of Derrick's office. She had a choice in how she could approach Anna and the situation. She could bustle in, full of a businesslike, takeover attitude. Or she could be of commiserating mind toward the distraught woman she knew was holed up in that room.
When Katie had met Derrick just a few moments before, the man had been pacing madly, mumbling that he and Anna must be married today. She would never admit it to anyone, but she'd felt his demeanor was quite comical. Oh, she would never have laughed at him. She wouldn't dare have offended him in that way. But the nervous and agitated Derrick she'd just met hadn't seemed the highly organized, analytical type that Jason had described on the ride over. Katie guessed even usually collected, systematic people had their limits, too. Derrick had pleaded with Katie to do whatever it took to calm Anna down and to please, please talk her into going on with the wedding.
After having promised to do her best, here she stood with her fingers curled, ready to tap on the door. Inhaling deeply, Katie decided that she'd wait to see just how distressed Anna was before determining how to react.
"Well?" Jason prodded in a whisper. "Are you going to go in, or what?"
"I'm going, I'm going," she said, keeping her tone hushed. "Why don't you go back into the kitchen with Derrick. Or go find your other friend... what's his name... Reese?"
"I will, I will. But I thought I should introduce you and Anna."
Katie waved him away. "I'll introduce myself. Now get."
He actually seemed relieved not to have to face Anna. Once he was out of sight, Katie rapped lightly on the solid wood door.
"Derrick, please go away!" Anna said. "I had already told you a dozen times, it's bad luck—"
"Anna, it's Katie, Jason's… nanny," Katie said. "May I come in, please?"
"Is Derrick around?" This time Anna's voice was closer, more distinct.
"No."
A metallic sound grated lightly as the door was unlocked and then it inched open. Katie slipped through the narrow wedge, and the door closed firmly behind her.
Anna was a beautiful woman, Katie saw. Her long black hair was full, wavy, and shiny. She looked to be about the same age as Katie was herself. Katie was immediately envious of those gorgeous cheekbones, but the woman's deep green eyes were haunted with trouble.
"Hi, Anna," she said. "I'm Katie." She left it at that. A formal introduction was pretty silly at a desperate time like this.
In spite of the emotional turmoil Anna must be experiencing, Katie was happy to see the woman offer her a small smile.
"Derrick came to the door a little while ago and told me you were coming." An inadvertent sigh escaped her. "Thanks. I just don't know what to do."
A phone rang somewhere in the house.
"Well," Katie commented, "you look as though you're holding up pretty well." She felt her face color. "If I were in your shoes..."
Anna shrugged. "I am awfully disappointed. Derrick is too." Her eyes glistened with emotion. "I'd like to go ahead with the wedding. But—" she shook her head "—I just don't see how we can."
"Of course you can," Katie rushed to assure her.
"But with no church. No minister."
"Derrick wanted me to tell you that he's calling churches all over town," Katie said brightly. "He'll find a church, you'll see."
"It's more than just the church and the minister." A frown creased the narrow patch of skin between Anna's green eyes. "Don't you think this could be a sign?" she asked, her voice a hushed whisper. "Derrick and I are so different." An ironic exhalation burst from her throat. "Different is putting it mildly. I should have said that he and I are complete and utter opposites. And this bad luck, this horrible situation, might be God, or our guardian angels, or the Universe, telling us that we're making a big mistake."
Anna paced absently toward the window. Katie felt a tremendous responsibility weighing on her shoulders. She needed to say something to this woman. Something that would help to relieve the heavy doubt Anna was expe
riencing.
Then Katie noticed the colorful, flowing clothes Anna was wearing. The purples and greens and fuchsias should have clashed garishly, but somehow the outfit... worked. Remembering Derrick's sedate gray trousers, his extremely conventional button-down dress shirt, Katie realized the differences between these two people went beyond character traits.
But should differences keep people apart?
"You love him, don't you?" The question slipped from her lips before Katie even realized it.
"Oh, yes." Anna nodded, her back to Katie.
"And you want to spend the rest of your life with him?"
"Oh—" she turned to face Katie, her tone going all breathy with heartfelt emotion "—yes. More than anything I've ever wanted in my life."
There, Katie thought, that should be all the answer Anna needed. When two people loved each other and wanted to be together forever, then nothing should be able to stop them.
As she stood there, thoughts of Everett flitted through her mind. Her parents had desperately wanted her to marry him. They loved him like a son. She had grown up with Everett. She did love him—but not the way Anna loved Derrick. She didn't love him the way a woman should love a man with whom she intended to spend forever.
Why hadn't she been able to tell her parents that? Why had she felt forced to run from them, from Everett, from the whole situation?
Because she knew she had spent her whole life striving to make her parents happy, trying to make them proud. But in the end, she'd discovered she just couldn't go through with it. Especially after Everett had—
"Katie!" Jason called from the other side of the closed door. When she didn't answer immediately, he rapped three times.
Katie pulled the door open an inch and stared at a small wedge of Jason's handsome face. "What is it?" she asked. "We're busy in here."
"I need to talk to you," he said. "Don't worry, Derrick's not around." He shouldered the door open wide enough so he could take Katie by the arm and pull her out into the hall.
"We've got trouble," he whispered. "Derrick can't find a church. He's called everywhere. And Anna's cousin just called. The woman was supposed to be Anna's maid of honor. Well, she missed her train, she's not going to arrive on time."