by Cathy Sharp
‘Why not?’ he asked good-naturedly. ‘I shall have to discover if young Billy Baggins can sing. Just the thing to keep him out of mischief between now and Christmas – even if he only turns the pages for the music.’
EIGHTEEN
Alice was just preparing to leave for the evening when Nan came up to her in the corridor. She stopped and smiled, asking Alice how she was getting on with her work now. For a moment Alice wondered if she’d done something wrong, but then she saw the kindness in the older woman’s eyes and relaxed.
‘Was there something you wanted me to do, Nan? I don’t mind staying on for a bit if you need help.’
‘No, I was just a little concerned for you, Alice my dear. You’ve seemed a little quiet recently. If there is anything troubling you, I’m always willing to listen. I always have time for the staff as well as the children, you know.’
‘Yes, I do know,’ Alice said and her throat caught because Nan’s kindness made her feel like crying. She was anxious and there was no one she could talk to – but Nan wouldn’t understand if she told her what was on her mind. ‘It’s just a little problem at home.’
‘Well, if there is anything at all I can do, just let me know.’
‘Thank you, I shall,’ Alice promised, though she knew she wouldn’t – couldn’t – confide in Nan.
How could she tell her that she was frightened of doing something foolish? How could she explain that she was being shadowed and haunted by a man who wouldn’t let her go? Nan would say she should go to the police or tell her father – but it wouldn’t help if she did either. The police would simply say she should make sure she was always home before dark or have a friend with her – and her father would go after Jack and probably end up with a knife in his belly.
Besides, Alice was more afraid of herself than Jack. She was beginning to like him, and the excited feeling in her stomach whenever he came up to her made her ashamed. How could she feel like this about a man she knew was no good? Yet she’d always known him at school, and she’d liked him even then. Why couldn’t she feel as excited at the thought of meeting Bob? He had written her a cheerful letter saying he was coming home that weekend and wanted to take her out. He’d explained that he wasn’t much good at dancing, but would take her out to the pictures or a meal at a nice restaurant.
Alice had shown the letter to Michelle, when they’d met briefly between her arriving and her friend leaving.
‘You’ve got a decent bloke there by the sound of it,’ she’d said. ‘I’ve only met him a few times when I’ve been out with Eric, but I like him. If I were you I’d go steady with him for a while – that’s if you like him enough?’
‘I do like Bob; he’s good company and very generous – but he doesn’t make me feel like I want to melt into puddles when he touches my hands.’
Michelle looked at her oddly. ‘Do you know someone who does?’ Alice nodded. ‘But you don’t want to go out with him – why?’
‘Dad says he’s rotten; into all sorts,’ Alice told her. ‘He keeps following me – and he threatened to harm Bob if I keep seeing him. Jack thinks I belong to him, though I’ve told him I don’t want him.’
‘Not Jack Shaw?’ Michelle looked incredulous. ‘I saw him pestering you at the dance a few weeks back, Alice. You would be a fool to get mixed up with his sort. I’ve heard what his boss is into and it’s horrible. A lot of men aren’t to be trusted, love, that’s why you want to grab a good one when you get the chance.’
Alice stared at her. ‘You sound as if you’ve been let down?’ Alice had suspected something of the sort, but it was before they’d got to know each other so well, before Michelle started to work at St Saviour’s, and her friend hadn’t talked about it before.
‘I was … before the war. I haven’t told you before, because I felt such a fool for being taken in. I really liked him and I thought he liked me, but he was married all the time. I promised myself I wouldn’t get taken in again like that. That’s why I’m telling you now, Alice. Don’t be fooled by Jack Shaw. He’ll let you down. I know how much that hurts.’
‘Is that why you wouldn’t go to the flicks with Eric when he asked you?’
‘He told you I’d turned him down?’ Michelle looked cross. ‘No, I don’t think he’s married or a womaniser – I just don’t want to get serious with anyone and I think your cousin is the sort who would want to get married. He’s going to stay in the Army as a career and I would have to give up my job if …’ She broke off and blushed. ‘Not that he was thinking of marrying me, of course – but I’m just saying.’
‘And yet you think I should encourage Bob?’ Alice felt a bit annoyed with her friend.
‘It’s different for you, Alice.’
‘Why?’ she demanded, cross because Michelle was interfering, though in her heart she knew her friend was right. Jack was no good for her, but however many times she told herself that, she still liked him.
‘Because I’m a nurse and if I dedicate myself to my job I could become a Sister and in time I might even go higher. I think you want to get married one day, don’t you?’
‘But don’t you want a family ever? You love kids.’
‘And I spend my life looking after them,’ Michelle said. ‘Your job is all right, Alice, but unless you train as a nurse you’ll never get any higher.’
‘I’m not clever enough to be a nurse,’ Alice said gloomily. ‘Sally is bright. She can do it if she tries, but I just want to get married one day and have my own kids.’
‘There you are then,’ Michelle said and laughed. ‘That’s the reason you should encourage Bob and give Jack Shaw the elbow. He won’t give you a home and a family – though he might give you a child if you’re not careful.’
‘Michelle! I wouldn’t,’ Alice said indignantly, but the trouble was, she knew her friend spoke the truth. At first it had been easy to send Jack off with a flea in his ear, but she was finding it harder to resist his charm and his good looks. The last time she’d seen him, Jack had been wearing a smart suit and good leather shoes. He looked so handsome and his smile made her heart race, but her father was right: no one else had clothes like that round here and they certainly didn’t have a motor car. He was waiting for her most nights when she left work and he seemed to know which shift she was on.
He’d been pestering her to let him take her somewhere nice and he’d given her a present. Lying on the black velvet inside a jeweller’s box was an engraved silver locket on a lovely thick chain; it opened so that she could put either a picture or a lock of hair inside. Jack had grinned at her as she exclaimed, because no one had ever given Alice anything of value before.
‘You can put a lock of me hair inside, Alice, then you’ll always have me with you wherever you go.’
‘I don’t want that, Jack – and I can’t accept this from you. I’m not your girl and I never will be.’
Jack had moved towards her, a hard, angry expression on his face. His eyes seemed a glacial blue and his mouth was set, the black shine of his slicked-down hair making his skin seem pale in the lamplight. He had the looks of a Hollywood film star and Alice couldn’t understand for a moment what he saw in a girl like her. She’d never had a decent dress in her life and coming from work she must look a sight, in her overall and flat lace-up shoes. ‘If you’re not mine you ain’t anyone’s,’ he growled and pulled her against him, his breath hot on her face as she trembled and waited for the kiss she knew was coming. The intensity of his gaze made her feel funny inside and she swayed towards him without wanting or meaning to. Once his lips met hers, Alice felt herself melting into his body, her heart thumping wildly as the hardness of his need pressed into her, making her very aware of how he felt about her. That look deepened as he muttered, ‘You’re not still thinking of that Army boy, Alice?’
‘No, of course not, Jack. I just don’t want to be your girl.’
‘Why?’ he demanded furiously. ‘I’ve got money. I’ll give you a good life – a better life than your ma ever had.
I might even marry you if you behave yourself.’
Alice gasped, because he was tempting her even though she knew she would be a fool to trust him. There was nothing special about Alice, at least in her own mind. She longed to be slender like some of the glamorous women she’d seen only on the posters outside the cinema, to have long hair that waved down her back, but hers was collar-length and, although it had a natural curl and was fine and fluffy, it wasn’t special. Knowing she was plumper than she wanted to be, Alice couldn’t imagine why she seemed to inspire passion in Jack. Maybe if she had beautiful clothes and wore expensive makeup she would look all right, but she only used them occasionally, when Michelle lent her some nail polish and lipstick. Besides, Ma would knock her to kingdom come if she’d seen her at that dance.
‘I can’t marry you, Jack. You do things … bad things. I won’t go out with a man who works for …’ She couldn’t even bring herself to say the name, because everyone in the East End knew of them and feared them.
‘Butcher Lee?’ Jack scowled at her. ‘You shouldn’t believe half of what folks say, Alice. He ain’t that bad – and all I do is stand around and look fierce. We protect those that are loyal to us, Alice – and no one interferes with anyone the Butcher looks after.’
Alice suspected he was lying to her, making it sound less than it was. She’d heard all sorts of things about the man he worked for and none of them were good. People said Jack’s boss ran a shady gambling club called The Glitter Ball and sold the services of fallen women for money. It all sounded sleazy and unpleasant to Alice and she didn’t want to believe it, but why would her father lie? And if he was right, Butcher Lee and his gang were responsible for half the robberies in London – and Jack had to be a part of all that, didn’t he? She moved away from him with a shake of her head.
‘Dad says that club of his is just a front for gambling and prostitution. It’s a wonder the police don’t close it down.’
‘It’s a legitimate club,’ Jack said. ‘Your dad’s got it all wrong, love. Butcher’s got all sorts in his pocket, including a judge and some real top-notch nobs. They wouldn’t come if there was anything illegal goin’ on, now would they?’
‘Well, you can do what you want, Jack, but I’m never going out with you while you work for that man. Give it up and find a proper job and I’ll consider it.’
Jack glowered at her once more. ‘No woman dictates to me, Alice.’
‘Then stay away from me. I shan’t change my mind – and take this with you.’ In a fit of temper Alice had thrown the jeweller’s box at him. He didn’t attempt to catch it and it fell into the gutter.
She had walked away, fearing that he would come after her. She hadn’t looked back but she was sure Jack wouldn’t pick the box up. Perhaps he would leave her alone now.
Alice had hoped Jack would give up after the incident over the locket. She’d looked in the gutter on her way to work, but of course the jeweller’s box had gone. If Jack hadn’t taken it someone else would.
When she returned from work that evening, Jack was leaning against the wall waiting for her in the same place. Again, he was wearing his posh suit and looked so handsome with his black hair and bold eyes that her heart jerked. She tried walking straight past, but he moved like lightning to prevent her, his hand catching her wrist.
‘Wait until you hear what I’ve got to say,’ he said urgently and something in his voice caught at Alice’s heart. She lifted her head and saw that he was looking wretched, and for the first time it occurred to her that he might be telling the truth when he said he cared about her. ‘Please, Alice.’
‘I meant what I said, Jack. I don’t want to spend my life waiting in fear for a knock at the door and seeing a police constable standing there telling me my husband’s dead or locked up in the cells.’
‘You don’t understand what it means, Alice. Once Butcher gets his claws into you, you’re his for life – unless you go right away from London. He’s a devil, Alice. He’d as soon slit your throat as look at you. Everyone is afraid of him when he gets into one of his rages, though he could sweet-talk a bird from the trees when he wants. You don’t know what you’re gettin’ into until it’s too late. If I broke with him we’d have to leave London fast and we couldn’t come back, because he would kill me for certain – but it’s what he might do to you …’ His voice broke and she saw pleading in his eyes. ‘I do love you, Alice, I really do.’
‘Jack …’ Her stomach cramped and she knew her will to resist was crumbling. ‘I wouldn’t mind leaving London if …’ Her voice died away as his eyes gleamed and she knew she’d betrayed herself. ‘All right, I’ll admit I like you. If you’d been an ordinary bloke I might …’
Before she could finish Jack had her in his arms. His kiss was so tender and sweet that she nearly swooned and just let herself relax into his body, feeling the strength and the life pulsing through him. It was so good there that somehow she couldn’t fight him any more.
‘I don’t understand why you care so much?’ she whispered, knowing that her heart was no longer her own. ‘I’m just ordinary … plain and plump …’
He put a finger to her lips, hushing her. ‘No, you’re not. You’re warm and lovely and sexy. And I want you – that’s all you need to know. I’m goin’ places one day, and if you’re my girl I’ll look after you.’
‘Oh, Jack.’ Alice gave a little sob. ‘I’ve told you what I think of you working for … him. I can’t change me mind, because I know one of these days you’ll end up dead in the gutter.’
‘And you’d care if I did?’
‘’Course I would!’
Jack laughed triumphantly. ‘I knew I’d get you in the end, Alice. I’ll take you to a dance this Saturday. You love dancing, don’t you? We’ll go to a club I know up West and we’ll have supper and dance for as long as you like.’
‘Jack …’ Alice began, but Jack had hold of her and he wasn’t going to let go.
‘I’ll change for you, Alice,’ he told her, his eyes gleaming with a possessive hunger as he gazed down at her. ‘I’ll take you away, somewhere they won’t find us – to America.’
Alice gasped in dismay. ‘America? Do you really mean it?’
‘The further we go the safer we’ll be,’ Jack said, his expression unreadable. ‘It’s goin’ to take a bit of time to get free. I can’t just say thanks for the memory and walk away from things, Alice – but I promise I’ll do it if you’ll be my girl and come out with me. Just be a good girl and don’t go causing me trouble.’
Alice hesitated, not sure that his promises rang true, but it was too late to say no. He knew she liked him … more than was good for her if the truth were known. Jack was like a terrier. Once he had hold of his quarry he never let go.
‘Will it be dangerous for you to leave them?’
‘It would be if the gang knew what I had in mind. What I know about Butcher and the rest of them would get them in a lot of trouble. I’ve got a mate, Arthur, and he’s terrified of Big Harry; he’s Butcher’s bodyguard and Arthur says he’d stick a knife in you as soon as look at you. We’ve got a few ideas, Arthur and me,’ Jack went on. ‘I need to get my life sorted, sell a few things and put the money somewhere safe until I can get our passage booked. If I’m careful, they won’t even know I’m leaving until we’re on the ship and out of reach.’
Alice felt a chill at her nape, and she clutched his arm. What was she doing agreeing to any of this? The more she heard about the men he ran with the less she liked it. Her father was right, they were bad, dangerous men and she was a fool to let herself be drawn into his net – and yet she loved him. No one else had ever made her feel like this, as if her insides turned to liquid honey and set her whole body alight with feverish heat. She held on to him, suddenly very afraid.
‘Be careful, Jack. Please …’
‘Don’t you worry about me,’ Jack said and kissed her again. ‘I can do anythin’ I set me mind to, you just watch me and see.’
NINETEEN
‘I ought to get home now,’ Sally said. They’d just left the floor after waltzing to the music of the crooner Bing Crosby, and she’d noticed again how good Keith was at old-time dancing. He didn’t like the modern American-style jiving that had become a craze during the war and Sally wasn’t keen on swing either. At the local Pally they mixed both kinds of dancing but Keith always sat the fast ones out. ‘I have to get up early and Mum will worry if I’m late home.’
‘All right,’ he said and smiled, then, ‘Listen, I like this; it’s Glenn Miller’s “In the Mood”. Why don’t we just have a drink and listen to the music?’
‘You listen while I get my coat, Keith.’
Sally walked away from him, feeling she’d had enough of the evening and regretting she’d agreed to come with him on her own. Keith had used every opportunity to show her that he wanted more than mere friendship and she’d had difficulty in maintaining her normal friendly manner.
Sally wasn’t sure why she’d suddenly realised that she didn’t want her casual friendship with the young plumber to develop further, but it might have had something to do with the fact that she liked Mr Markham more and more each time they met. So far it was just a few words and a smile as they passed in the corridor, though he often came into her morning classes and watched her, before reading to the children himself.
Of course, she was probably reading too much into the smiles and words of encouragement he offered, but she couldn’t help being attracted to him, and it had made up her mind where Keith was concerned. She must not encourage him to think of her as his girlfriend.
The ladies cloakroom smelled of lily of the valley and Evening in Paris scent and two girls Sally knew slightly were primping their tightly waved hair in front of the mirror. They both wore cheap copies of the New Look dresses that Christian Dior had brought in earlier that year, but neither of them was wearing stockings. Like Sally, they had to make do with gravy browning or go without; nylons were fabulous, much better than the silk stockings they’d had before the war, but they disappeared out of the shops so fast it was almost impossible to buy a pair, and if you were daft enough to buy from the spivs who hung about on street corners and sold them out of suitcases, when you opened the packet they had all kinds of faults in them.