There is something so innately protective about a man placing his hand there. I can guide her where I want her to go, pull her closer to me. I know Devlyn has two dimples at the small of her back that are the sexiest things I’ve ever seen, framing the curve of her ass.
Maybe that’s the thing about the small of a woman’s back, your hand is dangerously close to their ass. Whatever it is, that simple touch shows the world she’s mine. I know that’s what she wants, what she needs.
Suddenly, she stops. I look up, finding Sheena staring right at us, and her eyes go to my hand. I don’t want to stop touching Devlyn; instead, I want to curve my arm all the way around her and pull her closer, but I can’t. I don’t trust Sheena not to tell Mia.
“Is Mia here?” Sheena asks, her voice frantic.
I take a couple big steps closer to her. “Why would she be here? She’s supposed to be at dinner with you.”
“She got upset,” Sheena says, starting to pace a little circle. “She ran off. I thought she might come back here.”
“I knew this would happen,” I snap. “What did you do?”
“I know you’re mad at me,” Sheena snaps back. “But I have every right to be mad at you, too!”
“I don’t give a fuck if you’re mad at me. I didn’t do a damn thing to you. Now where the hell is my daughter?”
“Our daughter!” Sheena says quickly, glaring at Devlyn. “Everyone needs to remember whose daughter she actually is.”
“Mine!” I say.
Sheena starts to laugh. “You think you can forbid me from seeing her for eighteen years, and that’s going to change the fact that I’m her mother. Although I’m sure that was your asshole lawyer of a father’s idea.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I ask. “You signed away your rights. I never . . .”
“Please,” she says, throwing her hands up. “Thought you were being sneaky, burying that little clause in the legal paperwork that I could have no contact until Mia’s eighteenth birthday.”
“That’s not true,” I say. “You never made any attempts to contact her.”
“Because I couldn’t,” she cries, pulling out a folded contract, flipping through and pointing to a paragraph. “Right here. A no-contact clause. I have to say that’s really low. I was depressed and scared and making a difficult decision, and you had to put that in there. To say I could never call her or see her or get a picture or anything.”
She breaks down in tears, clutching her hands over her heart. I stare down at the words on the paper, trying to read them, but it just looks like letters on the page, not making sense. I never actually read this before. I just signed it. Devlyn comes to my side, reading it. How did I not know this was in there? My father drafted this. Why would he do this? He saw how hurt I was after she left. What the fuck?
Still, Sheena is not going to play the victim in this. The only victim in this is Mia.
“You didn’t have to sign it!” I say.
“I’d just had a baby and was leaving her and you. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I thought that was what you wanted—to never see me again. I thought I should at least give you that. I thought I deserved your hatred. I thought that’s what you wanted, and I couldn’t hurt you again.”
“I didn’t know about this,” I say, handing her back the papers.
“I find that really hard to believe.”
“Believe what you want. I didn’t know.”
Sheena pauses a moment, considering my words, then begins to sob. “I couldn’t come back.”
“You wanted to?”
Sheena glances up at me, her lashes wet with tears, but she doesn’t answer. “I know you want me to be the villain in this story, and that’s fine, but I . . .”
I wave her off and try to refocus. “We need to find Mia.”
“I’ll try and call her,” Devlyn says.
“I’ve been trying,” Sheena says.
I give Devlyn a nod to go ahead then turn back to Sheena and ask, “What happened?”
Sheena’s brown eyes cloud with a look I’ve seen before. Guilt. She stammers for words.
Devlyn steps closer. “Mia’s not picking up.”
Sheena shakes her head, straightening her posture. “She asked me why I never called or tried to see her, why I came back now. I told her I couldn’t and showed her the no-contact clause.”
“Mia thinks this is your fault, Garrett,” Devlyn whispers, glaring at Sheena. “She thinks you did this. She thinks you kept her away from her mother.”
“Fuck, we have to find her,” I say. “Where are my keys?”
“I’ll take my car and look for her, too,” Devlyn says.
“I’ll stay here in case she comes back,” Sheena says.
Devlyn grabs my hand. “We’ll find her.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
GARRETT
It doesn’t take long to cover Eden Valley by car. I can cover the whole town a half-dozen times in less than an hour. I can call most of the town in that amount of time, too. No one’s seen Mia. Everyone promises to call me if they spot her. Half the town is out looking, too. I stopped by Penny’s house in person, knowing the bonds of teenage girls are strong and not trusting that Penny wouldn’t lie to me, but Mia wasn’t there.
Mia’s still not answering her phone. She doesn’t have her car, so she can’t have gone far, but it’s dark out now. It’s not as though Mia’s never been out this time of the night, but I always knew where she was, who she was with, when she was coming home. Now I know nothing.
I was prepared for this feeling when she went off to college, but not while she’s under my roof, not while she’s upset. People make stupid decisions when they’re upset, do stupid things. I hop out of my truck, deciding that walking is best. It will help me burn off some stress and allow me to get to some places that I can’t see from my truck. Walking, I make sure to look down every alley, between all the buildings. Hell, at this point I’m even checking out rooftops. I should have put that tracking app on her phone like every other parent in the universe.
I check the hardware store and Biscuit Girl. I text Devlyn every five minutes to see if she’s had any luck. Sheena calls me at about the same interval. The words of the contract we signed swirl in my hand.
Absolutely no contact until the above-mentioned minor reaches eighteen years of age.
I need to find my copy of the paperwork and read over it. Maybe Sheena changed it? Maybe this is all some trick on her part?
She showed up on Mia’s eighteenth birthday. That can’t be a coincidence. Could she have really been waiting for that day all these years? Waiting for a chance to see Mia again? To hold her? To tell her she loves her?
My head is spinning so fast I feel like I’ve been on a bender for the past eighteen years. No amount of alcohol could ever fuck with my head more than tonight has.
Did Sheena change her mind and want Mia? Or did she simply want visitation? Did Sheena’s change of heart have anything to do with me? Did she want me, too? Want us to be a family? When did she start having these thoughts? Days? Weeks? Months? Years after she left?
I stop walking. Everything is quiet. No insects are chirping. No cars. No sound except my heart against my chest, the memories invading my mind. Sheena’s teenage voice ringing in my ears.
I love you, too, Garrett.
Rubbing my jaw, I lean against the lamppost, the memory of that summer swirling.
It was a night like this one—dark and quiet—a few days before the Fourth of July. I was holding Sheena’s hand, walking her back to the house her parents rented for the summer. My dick was still hard from our dry humping session at my grandparents’ old house. I was sure her panties were still soaked, too. The difference was, she’d gotten off, and I was in serious pain.
In the moonlight, I could still see the blush on her cheek. She swore that had never happened before. It certainly was the first time I’d ever given a girl an orgasm. I’d never done more than kiss a girl until Sheena. I wo
uldn’t say Sheena was a “fast” girl, just that things between us moved that way. Neither one of us did much to stop it, but we didn’t really talk about it, either. I knew I should be prepared, buy some condoms, but there was no way I could do that in Eden Valley. I’d have to borrow the car and drive to the next town if I wanted to make sure that my parents didn’t find out.
I didn’t know then Sheena had birth control covered. Still, if I’d only made that drive.
Sheena stopped by this lamppost, hugging me. I whispered in her ear that I loved her. It wasn’t to get in her pants. It wasn’t for any reason other than it was true. When she whispered it back, I believed her.
In the years that followed, I told myself that it wasn’t true. That it was teenage hormones and not the real thing. The hurt I felt after she left was all the explanation I needed.
Love and hurt don’t mix.
Only they do. As much as we try not to hurt the ones we love, they always end up being the ones we hurt the most.
Loving hard means hurting harder.
I see it with me and Sheena, and I see it when Devlyn looks at me these days. She’s hurting. I’m doing my best to not cause her more pain, but it sure seems I’m failing.
“Garrett?”
My body tenses at his voice. That hasn’t happened since I was a teenager, when I knew I was in trouble. Tonight, it’s for a whole other reason.
“Any luck finding Mia?” my dad asks. “Devlyn called me looking for her.”
I should’ve called him myself, but I had Devlyn do it, knowing what would happen if I talked to him right now.
“A no-contact clause!” I snap.
He stops dead in his tracks about four feet from me. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about this morning,” he says.
“This morning?” I yell, pulling at my hair. “What about eighteen years ago? Or any time since then?”
“When Mia was born, you were in no position to make these kinds of decisions. Your mother and I . . .”
“Mom knew?”
He nods. “We wanted to protect you.”
I can’t believe this. “So it’s true? You put that in.”
“I did,” he says, not sounding like he regrets it in the slightest.
“Anything else in there I don’t know about?”
“It’s all pretty standard,” he says. “Sheena relinquished all rights. Was relieved of all financial responsibility.”
“And she couldn’t contact me or Mia for eighteen years?”
“We did it to protect you both.” He steps a little closer. “Suppose she would’ve changed her mind a year down the road, or five? Then what? You’d have to share custody with her. No judge would deny her. She was young. She had no support. A judge would be sympathetic to her. We couldn’t run that risk. I wouldn’t let that happen to you.”
“What about what I wanted? Or Mia?” I ask.
“What you want isn’t often what you need,” he says, turning my words on me. “I gave you what you needed.”
“Dad, this wasn’t your decision to make.”
“Son . . .”
“She shows up on Mia’s eighteenth birthday?” I say, shaking my head. “Jesus Christ, Dad!”
“You know I don’t like it when you talk like that,” he scolds.
Before I say something I’d regret, I start to walk off, unsure if I’ve ever been this angry with him before. He altered the course of my life, of Mia’s life with those papers. He thinks it was for the best, but what if he’s wrong? I’ll never know. I’ll never know what would’ve happened if Sheena came back sooner. How Mia would be? How I would be? This is a betrayal. A big one.
Still, I know he loves me. I know that. But that’s the thing about love. Sometimes it leads us to do some stupid ass shit. Nothing renders a man more stupid than being in love. He hears what he wants, sees what he wants, and suddenly can’t be rational to save his life. His dick rules the roost, his heart rules everything else, and his head is stuck far up his ass.
He calls after me. “I’ve got to find Mia,” I call back without turning around.
Everything I’ve believed the past eighteen years is a lie. I thought Sheena just left and never looked back. I thought my parents were honest people. I never dreamed something like this.
My phone rings. Sheena again.
“Is she at home?” I ask.
“No,” she says. “So you haven’t found her?”
“No.”
“Eden Valley is so small. Where could she be?”
My gut does a weird twisting motion. “Maybe she’s not here?”
“You don’t think she’d really run away?” Sheena asks.
“Before tonight, I would’ve said no, but now I don’t know anything,” I say, my eyes darting around.
“Is it always this much worry?” Sheena asks.
“Not usually,” I say.
“I never worried about Mia much. I knew you’d make sure she was happy. Had a good life. I always trusted that.” She takes a deep breath. “I worried about you a lot, though.”
“Me?”
“It wasn’t just Mia I gave up eighteen years ago,” she says then clears her throat. “Find her, Garrett. Find our baby girl and bring her home.”
“I will,” I promise. “Stay there in case she comes back.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” she says, and I wonder if there’s some hidden meaning in her words.
I hang up and continue my search. All the usual hangouts lead nowhere. There’s only one more place I can think to look.
I head to the hardware store to grab a flashlight then make my way across town. Teenagers love to hang out at the Falls at night. They don’t think we know it’s the local make-out and drinking spot, but we do. Almost every day I work on the pavilion, there are empty beer cans and used rubbers laying about. The poor park service guy has to pick that shit up. There are trash bins, but they don’t get used.
All the kids know they aren’t to come out here alone at night. It’s a waterfall in the middle of the damn woods. They could fall, get hurt, drown, or run into some unfriendly wildlife. There are such things as vicious squirrels. I made Mia read a whole article on a squirrel that terrorized a neighborhood out in California, hoping that would be burned in her brain, and she would never come out here on her own.
Of course, she joked and said only California squirrels are killers. God, I love that girl. Where is she? Flicking on the flashlight, I make my way over the wooden bridges that lead to the Falls. I don’t call out her name, thinking if she knows I’m coming she might make a break for it or hide.
She needs to know the truth, that I never kept Sheena away from her, that this wasn’t my doing. Everything will be okay if I can just explain. Well, things might not be okay between her and my dad, at least not for a while.
The light and the shadows play a game of tag as I make my way, the rush of the Falls calling me like a ghost. I’ve made this walk thousands of times, especially lately for work, but it’s never felt like this. The legend of this place is built on a love story, but some of the greatest of those are tragedies.
Which brings me back to love and hurt. Why are they more often than not mingled together? Why is every high school student on the face of the planet made to read Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet? It’s touted as one of the greatest love stories ever written, yet everyone dies. Pain and love are so intertwined we can’t separate it.
Just like the Falls. The legend here. A great love. A great loss.
Hurt and love.
Eden Valley is founded on it.
“Ouch, crap, stupid phone!”
“Devlyn,” I call out, knowing her voice anywhere and scanning the tree line with my flashlight, searching for her.
“Ouch,” she says again. “Over here.”
Moving the light, I see her standing over by the pavilion and rush to her. “What are you doing out here?”
“Looking for Mia,” she says, rubbing her shin.
I fl
ash the light down, seeing the rip in her jeans, the huge scratch on her leg, blood soaking the fabric. Bending down to take a look, I say, “You shouldn’t be out here alone.”
“You’re alone,” she says.
“Well, at least I brought a flashlight,” I say, examining her leg.
“I was using my phone,” she says. “But then it died.”
Getting to my feet, I say, “Doesn’t look like it needs stitches.”
“Whose bright idea was it to leave this big pile of wood out here?” she teases. “Maybe I should sue.”
“Very funny,” I say. “You could’ve really hurt yourself.”
“It was the last place I thought to look for Mia,” she says.
“Me, too,” I say, the fear in my voice evident.
Handing her the flashlight, I scoop her up, carrying her out. “My hero,” she says, shining the light in front of us and leaning her head on my shoulder.
“I need you to be smarter than this,” I snap. “What if something happened to you?”
She responds by kissing me on the cheek. Devlyn is one of those people that just understands. She knows my voice is harsh because I’m worried. She doesn’t take offense, knowing I don’t mean it. It’s just the worry and stress talking. She knows that. Devlyn is good at translating me. She might know me better than I know me.
“I can walk,” she says sweetly.
“I can carry you,” I say.
“Always so cocky,” she says, wiggling a little bit. “Garrett, you’re tired. Let me walk.”
“No, you’re hurt.”
“Said yourself it doesn’t need stitches,” she says.
“Needs me,” I say.
“Always,” she says. With that, she wins, and I put her down, keeping my arm under her to help her hobble along. “What now?”
“I’m going to keep looking,” I say.
“I’ll come with you.”
“You’re going home and getting that cut taken care of.” Before she can object, I plant a soft kiss on her lips. “I’ll walk you home. We can look for Mia on the way.”
“She’s a tough girl,” Devlyn says. “She knows you love her. She just needs some time to think.”
All My Life Page 19